Under the Skin

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Octavias Melody

Octavias Melody #1 · Apr 22nd, 2022 · · · 1 I’m in Love with a Serial Killer ·

I had to do a double-take that this wasn't written by headless_rainbow.

Snow Quill

Snow Quill #2 · Apr 22nd, 2022 · · · 1 I’m in Love with a Serial Killer ·

Eeeee it’s finally being published! Can’t wait to read the whole thing

Mix-up

Mix-up #3 · Apr 22nd, 2022 · · · 1 I’m in Love with a Serial Killer ·

Awesome work dude can't wait to see the next part.

Whoareyouall

Whoareyouall #4 · Apr 22nd, 2022 · · · 1 I’m in Love with a Serial Killer ·

good story but seem trolls spamming dislikes i seen this happen a lot more on good stories

SteamHare

SteamHare #5 · Apr 23rd, 2022 · 4 · · 1 I’m in Love with a Serial Killer ·

11219683

The story is explicitly gay, so it gets a massive gay tax. Not overly surprising.

Shrinky Frod

Shrinky Frod #6 · May 7th, 2022 · 1 · · 3 Say it to My Face ·

Velvet, sweetie?

If Shiny were half the monster you think he is, let alone that he thinks he is, Night Light wouldn't need a divorce.

And not a jury in the land could convict him for it.

Grief is understandable. Anger is understandable as a part of it.

But last I checked, "sadism" wasn't part of the grieving process.

She should maybe consider that of her three children, the one who isn't dead or verging on insane is the one she had the least involvement in raising.

Ohnonothim

Ohnonothim #7 · May 21st, 2022 · · · 4 You Bring Out the Worst in Me ·

Wait this is actually pretty good why does it have so many dislikes?

Toiwat

Toiwat #8 · May 21st, 2022 · · · 4 You Bring Out the Worst in Me ·

11247503
Probably people that just look at the tags and vote without actually reading, thinking it's just some gorefest bs story.

SteamHare

SteamHare #9 · May 21st, 2022 · · · 4 You Bring Out the Worst in Me ·

11247503
11247569

Combination of what Toiwat noted, plus the fact the story is rather explicitly gay between the cover art and descriptions, so it doesn't really stealth as well as other stories with LGBT themes.

It's fine, though. This story is extremely self indulgent in terms of themes and what I'm writing. It was mostly written for the interest of like five people, and the fact that there are seemingly a bunch people that really enjoy it is nice to see.

dertoxbraid

dertoxbraid #10 · Oct 30th, 2022 · · · 5 This is Just How We Were Taught to Love ·

bittersweet. an excellent piece of work! i loved it :)

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #11 · Dec 25th, 2023 · · · 1 I’m in Love with a Serial Killer ·

In Tartarus, only the bad guys were punished, those that deserved the pain and horror a place like that could bring. On the battlefield, everyone was punished. There was no rhyme or reason to it, just that horrible things would happen to you, and, in most cases, you would never see it coming.

ooh, like that speech from M*A*S*H, love it

To my left, a Storm Guard beheaded a unicorn with a swing of its ax. To my right, an earth pony crushed the skull of an allied pegasus who had accidentally fallen into their path. Down the field, a pony so soaked in gore so as to be unidentifiable, screamed incoherently as they smashed a rock into an already dead Storm Guard’s face repeatedly.

oof that is definitely horrifying

It seemed to convey that our greatest watcher, Princess Celestia, could not even bear to witness such a sight. Such vulgar, graphic death could do nothing but bring tears to her eyes.
Worthless poetry amidst pointless slaughter.

beautiful

Flash Sentry paused a moment to inspect his appearance in a dingy storefront window close by. He looked slick in his jacket with sunglasses perched just below his maneline and shield shaped studs embedded in his right ear. He looked like a frat pony who slept around with anyone that had a working sex organ, which was exactly what he was going for.

hell yeah that is what he looks like

Feeling cheeky, he gave the onlookers a small show by walking with his tail hiked up and his flanks swaying in an exaggerated manner. Each sway of his hips gave the onlookers a peek at what lay underneath. I was more than enough to fuel any fantasies they might have if they ended up alone that night and with a need to fuilfill their sexual desires.

hoowee

It was a rather uninspired choice for an ex-military type, but Flash wasn’t there to critique his taste in drinks.

ehehe feel like this Flash would get along well with Rarity

Covering up his snort of amusement with a pattering of flirtatious giggles, Flash turned away and hiked his tail up, granting Steel a full view of his package.

ah what a world in which the default for ponies is to wear nothing

“Are you ready to get a taste of some grade A stalk?” He showed what Flash presumed was supposed to be a charming grin, but just came off as an ugly sneer.

oof unlike Flash this guy is not good at this!

“Get sucking,” Steel commanded.

well that escalated quickly

As asked, Flash shucked off his clothes, leaving them in a crumpled heap nearby. Even in the dim lighting, bright red punctures shone brightly like neon lights along his neck, and healed over scars menacingly glowed along the front of his chest.

it’s a good thing this Steel guy is not at all genre savvy. for Flash, that is

Inch after inch of cock flesh slid down his gullet until he was bobbing just past the medial ring.

dang Flash is good at this

“F-fuck, why am I… ?” Flash’s mark slurred, “I’ve never been… so sleepy…”

ahaha all that for a soporific! i gotta say this is the first time i’ve seen or even thought of it being applied this way

He had swallowed a powder that had knocked out the aforementioned pony, but, he felt, at worst, a light tingling on his teeth.

case in point! it would somehow have to affect the, uh, target more than the applier for it to work, which seems difficult biologically

It all should have bothered him, but he found all his focus was on getting back home to his Captain. A thought that caused his tail to wag behind him as he walked.

aww!

“Glad to see you too, Scales,” Flash answered, “we’ll get you fed soon, just after I get this guy prepped for the Captain.”

starting to wonder how related those two events are

“No, you should just be proud of how great I am.” Flash teasingly kissed Shining on the side of his muzzle who snorted at the statement. Flash frowned. “Are you having nightmares again?”
“Yeah, they’re…” Shining frowned as he trailed off before smiling as he opened his eyes. “It doesn’t really matter since you’re back.”

aww they hold each other together, if barely!

“No, getting the taste of that other stallion’s cock off your mouth.” Shining grinned lecherously. “We’ll need to disinfect it with my own.”

nice

“The bleach didn’t get out the colour from the last one even after I spent hours cleaning it this morning.” Flash hung his head, his ears pinned down. “Sorry, Captain.”

aww love the ear movements

“Why do they always devolve into screaming obscenities? Just once couldn’t they scream, I don’t know,” Shining waved a hoof, “drink recipes or something?”
“I think it’s fairly reasonable for a pony to swear when you pull out one of their teeth with a set of pliers.”
A roar of agreement came from the crate.

ahaha love how jaded they have become to this

Flash glanced meaningfully at the pink six pointed star sewn into Shining’s lab coat before refocusing on keeping Steel’s foreleg pinned to the gurney.

ooh what could this mean??

After some hemming and hawing, Shining said, “eh, probably. Honestly, Spike probably isn’t going to care either way.” He whistled. “Come on, buddy, time for dinner.”

oh ho ho i did not catch that that was supposed to be Spike! truly a Dark and Twisted AU you are brewing up here >:)

Before Shining could reply, the moment was ruined by the unfortunate timing of the rope around Steel’s muzzle coming undone. “Let me go, you monsters!” he screamed, throat raspy from overuse.
“He’s really ruining the moment,” Shining growled angrily.
“Yes, but it’s our fault for not finishing the job,” Flash said with a bright smile, “come on, let’s get this guy cut up and sent off to… huh, I didn’t actually ask where we’re sending him this time.”

honestly just love how this juxtaposes such fluffy slice of life with everything else that is happening. an amazing intro! really does feel like a pilot for a really cool TV series

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #12 · Dec 25th, 2023 · · · 2 And We'll Never be Royals ·

Unstrapping the bow from her back, she had pulled the string taut. A single arrow of pure magic had formed.
The arrow soared through the air on release until it burst into a cloud of arcane bolts. An entire battalion of enemy soldiers fell to the mare once known as Nightmare Moon as each pierced through the enemy’s armour and punctured directly through their hearts.

a feat definitely worthy of Luna’s mythical status, love it

She appeared closer to her old self. A hardened warrior that had existed some thousand years prior, before the Nightmare. A Princess that had ruled not during relatively peaceful modern times, but in the tumultuous past.

so true! this is something of Luna’s character that a lot of stories make nods to but few really follow through on thematically

“Always,” Flash answered with a spattering of giggles.
With a smile still affixed to his face, Shining grabbed the detached foreleg from the mare he had just finished cutting up with a hacksaw and tossed it to Spike who was lying down in his shipping crate.

again, the juxtaposition!

“They can’t all be the most monstrous ponies in existence. Eventually, the well runs dry and you’re just left with the dregs.” Shining took out the heart with his magic and placed it gently on a nearby table. He then began work on the lower intestines, clipping obstructing bones and tissue. “It’s not like there’s an infinite supply of war criminals.”

oof, definitely a bad direction this whole enterprise could head in

“No, I’m not,” Flash said, “I’m just worried because you never talk about the future.”
“Because we don’t have to! We’ll just keep going and… I don’t know, we’ll still be together, right?”

oof, reflecting the last lines of the flashback portion of this chapter about only thinking of the present

With a mischievous grin on his face, Shining rubbed Flash at the base of his dick with a hoof, who yelped in response. “Yeah, we were. You don’t mind two stallions getting it on do you?”
The guard looked to the dissected mare nearby then the massive undead dragon who had buried his head in his claws. “Comparatively, no.”

wonderful comedic beat

“Well, you’re boring,” Shining said with a peeved frown.
“Shining!” Flash pushed him off and glared angrily at Shining.
Confused, Shining looked to Flash blankly before self awareness seeped in. “Shit, sorry, that was… fuck, I shouldn’t have done that. I…” he glanced at the guard then back to Flash, “... didn’t want to be seen as weak.”

and augh, Flash is definitely seeing something bad brewing within Shining. he is very right to be worried

“The Night Guard found Garble, and, consequently, we have new vocal cords for Spike.”

aww what did Garble do to deserve this?

They arrived at the palace shortly after leaving the guard behind to handle the packaging of the mare’s organs. Shining had been concerned when the guard had offered to do it until he’d witnessed him cut out the lungs with a precision greater than Shining, which had convinced him that the guard could handle it.

ok it feels like there’s an entire story behind this guard guy!

Fighting off the roiling rage that had flared up at her appearance, Flash answered, “No, we weren’t, but we have to get going.”

ooh what is the story there i wonder!

“Must you call me, Cadance?” Cadance scoffed, “couldn’t you try to call me Cady instead? Like the old times? I really miss you, Shiny,” she whispered the last words, voice thick with sweetened poison.

love the sinister vibes here. guessing there’s far more going on here than them simply being exes

“No, you’re right, you did worse. You ran away when all he needed was you to be there.” Flash snorted angrily, the puff of hot air blowing into Cadance’s eyes. “So, go bother someone else, Cady. His partner is already here to help him and unlike you, is always there for him.”
They glared at each other, anger clear on their faces, before Cadance turned away, her nose upturned. “Fine, I’ll leave.” She began to trot away before turning to look over her shoulder. “Come find me when you’re ready to be around ponies who will actually take care of you.”

the very horse-y snorting adds a great touch to this moment of drama, love it

On a pedestal, situated at the other end of the room just before two thrones made of gold and silver, was the petrified form of Princess Celestia. She stood braced, facing down the hall, an expression of open defiance on her face.

ooh that definitely adds a certain air to the backstory of this world. honestly just love how you’re sketching out this AU

“Hah!” Luna barked, “if she wanted that maybe she should have been less of a damned coward.” She stomped her hoof onto the ground causing a spider web of cracks to appear. She took a deep breath to settle herself and released a burst of magic that repaired the damage. “Keep calm, Luna,” she muttered to herself.

love how they’re all on the same page here, and how much this Luna and this Shining Armor overlap

“You dare imply that We would break under a measly few days of missed sleep?! We do not need the opinions of some knave to tell us—!” She took another deep breath to calm down. “Apologies, Shining. You may be correct in that I could use some sleep.”

they overlap a lot!

“It has occurred to me at this moment, that unlike my subjects, I do not have someone to blame nor swear in the name of, for there is no one who is above me in station.” She laughed, a note of desperation in it. “And to think that at one point in the past I had wanted this.”

thus is the irony of Luna, love it!

Luna gave a rueful smile. “I do not believe an unstable ex-captain of the guard, an undead dragon, or whatever Flash is would make for good leaders.”

aww im glad Flash is in this

“For what? Being a good friend? No need to apologize for that. I appreciate that there is even anyone whom I can claim as such, especially since…” Luna trailed off. “Well, since.” She grabbed the watering can once more in her magic and returned to tending to the flowers around her sister. “To be frank, this is mostly self-inflicted. I could have found more allies, made more friends, but alas that was more my sister’s thing.”

love Luna’s self-awareness here, and the parallels between Shining Armor and Celestia

“Ah, yes, hope,” Luna said bitterly. “A rather disgusting emotion, promising things it cannot keep. Regardless, I believe I had requested something from you?”

she is so perfectly emo i love her

“Of course.” Using her magic once more, Luna removed a fleshy mass from another of her bags. “Feel free to perform the necessary surgery here since I know it needs to be done as soon as possible for it to take,” she then muttered under her breath, “not like these floors could ever be cleaned again with how much blood has been spilled on them.”

also love how there’s not like a cooler of ice or any kind of specialized storage, just a fleshy mass inside a bag lol

Once satisfied with his hoofwork, Shining released a burst of magic that caused the seams to disappear and the new patch to change colour to match Spike’s underbelly.

love how Shining goes far enough with this little touch after all this rotting flesh and spilling bile

“Eh, good enough. Thanks, big brother.”
He nuzzled Shining, who returned the gesture.
“Anytime, little brother,” Shining replied.

aww, so heartwarming!

“Whatever do you mean, Flash? I’m here to deliver the updated star charts to Princess Luna as I do every month. Though, I did not expect to see you here. What a coincidence!”
“Stupid random chance,” Spike and Shining grumbled together under their breath.

that is indeed amazing random chance. also love that this was the “he” that the pair were so worried about encountering!

“Oh, come on now, son. What father would I be if I didn’t check in to make sure your coltfriend is giving you the best blow jobs possible? You deserve it after all.”

that is, uh, well,

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #13 · Dec 25th, 2023 · · · 3 Say it to My Face ·

She was Twilight Sparkle. Success was an inevitability, we had all thought.

hoowee that ain’t good

We had all watched perplexed as a wooden crate was dragged into the room. It was roughly 5 feet long by 4 feet wide with a strange blue sap leaking out from the bottom. It stained the floor wherever it fell and emitted a sickly sweet scent that choked the air all around us. It had been tied by several bundles of twine tied into a bow with a tag attached reading “TO: SHINING ARMOUR” in a thick blocky font.

Flash’s incredulity at the guards not having checked the box beforehand is more than understandable because oof

At that moment, I felt nothing but heartache for the stallion who had lost everything.

and oof, a horrifying mental image in a story that has been full of them. and at last that scene i saw on Discord so very long ago has its proper context!

Flash and Shining trotted alongside Night Light down the brightly lit street lined with two story stone houses. Night jabbered about some minor disputes from the observatory he worked at, while Flash and Shining tried not to dwell on their impending doom.
Dinner at the Sparkle household always broke down into three broad categories.

love that after all that they’ve been through and done together, dinner at the Sparkle household is causing them so much angst

The house feeling taller than it should be, the glare off the windows seeming for a moment like the gleam of a guillotine blade held up by frayed rope.

ooh, amazing imagery! i hope that i remember this subconsciously to unknowingly use later because it is so good

Night stopped just short of the door and turned to face Shining with a companionable grin on his face. “You go first, bucko. I’m sure your mother will be ecstatic to see you.”

Night Light really is living up to his characterization here!

Before Shining could even speak, Velvet wound her hoof back and punched him in the face. Knowing better than to dodge, Shining rolled his head back with the punch.
“Hey, mom,” Shining greeted as he rubbed the red welt on his cheek with a hoof, “good to see you.”

well that is something!

“The abomination is not my sweet youngest boy; just a monster wearing his face,” Velvet said as she trotted into the common room, four plates of veggie casserole following in her wake. “I can’t believe you are even entertaining this delusion.”

the combination of Twilight Velvet feeling all the way she is and still cooking and serving a family meal really is quite something. an over-the-top level of sustained tension that i feel i have seen before in your works, it really works to make characters memorable

“How rude,” Twilight scoffed, “who even taught you manners?”
“You did,” Shining hissed as he leaned across the table.
“Clearly not, as you would know not to backtalk.”
“Well, if I didn’t learn manners I at least learned how to be a massive—”
“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence, young stallion,” Velvet cut in.

ahaha the pettiness! it just feels like it’s straight from good television, love it

Velvet laughed harshly. “Really? Because to me it seems he just follows you around to take orders and suck you off.”

i mean i can see this being a pretty good deal! nothing wrong with that!

“Well, I was just thinking that I might be a monster, but at least I don’t have a daughter who hated being around me so much that she moved out at the first opportunity to get away from me.”

gottem

Staring off at him in concern, Flash’s ears perked as he heard a subtle cough. Looking in Night’s direction, Flash was met by a bittersweet smile and tired eyes.
“Would you be willing to go for a walk with me?” Night asked.

Night Light really doing his utmost to do normal dad things around all this

Using his magic, Night took out a small package from his vest pocket. He popped open the lid to reveal a row of purple sticks. He put one in his mouth and offered one to Flash. “Want one?” he asked.
“Are those… manasticks?” Flash asked as he narrowed his eyes at the strange objects.

aww the pony version of deathsticks i presume?

“They are,” Night answered, “a coworker gave them to me after…” he trailed off, staring into the distance, “well, he gave them to me.”

wonder what this trailing off is hiding!

“On a surface level, Shining seems to take after his mother, and Twilight after me,” Night interrupted, “but when you look past that, Twilight took Velvet’s worst traits, and Shining mine.” He looked at Flash with a look of understanding that made Flash uncomfortable. “I can’t imagine you are oblivious to it.”

augh love this. you do characterization so well

“I’m divorcing Velvet,” Night said with the same tone one would describe the weather.
Flash stayed quiet.

this is not doing any wonders for Flash’s abandonment anxiety let me tell ya

“Another trait he took from me, but thankfully he has someone to keep him stable.” Night gave Flash a wide smile. “I’m glad you’re there for him.”
Flash returned the smile. “I’m glad too.”

aww love it!

With a nod, Flash trotted away back towards the house. He turned back once to see Night glare at the remaining manasticks in his magic before he tossed them into a garbage can.
He smiled to himself as he continued to walk away.

ok maybe i’m dumb but what i’m getting out of this is that the coworker gave Night Light the sticks after Night Light talked about Flash and Spike, to ward them off or destroy them, due to the assumption of anti-magical construct prejudice? i feel like i’m missing something really good and subtle here

“I hate me.”
“I don’t.”
“Why?” Shining asked as tears flowed down his face.
“Because I love you,” Flash answered in a tone that suggested it was obvious.
Finally having reached his emotional limit, Shining buried himself in the fluff of Flash’s chest and cried.

and augh, love this. like Night Light, i am very glad Flash is there for Shining. and i have to say even among the character work you’ve done that i’ve praised so much, this chapter might be some of the best i’ve seen. just sublime

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #14 · Dec 25th, 2023 · · · Interlude: She Leaves Me Lonely ·

In my half aware pain-addled state, I’d thought I’d been blessed to have one final moment with my brother before passing on. I told him that I loved him because he needed to know that before I died and then resolved that I wouldn’t see him again.

augh, heartbreaking! what a final moment for Spike that would have been

I am Spike the dragon.
I am the brother of Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armour.
I will never bend to those who would harm me or my family.
I will live.
And, at the end of the day, those are the most important things to me.

badass, love it! and this is from someone who’s reaction to Spike being mentioned is “who’s Spike?”

He made mental notes of a few unexplainable injuries on some of the inmates to report back to Luna about. They could be carryover from before their imprisonment, or self-inflicted from their time in the cell, but Spike was almost certain the guards had caused them and he knew Luna would never tolerate that kind of behaviour from her wardens.

given what we’ve seen of the trio’s activities so far, that is an interesting standard that Luna adheres to

“Yeah, I deserve that one, but seriously, are they feeding you properly? None of that fake meat they tried to get me on when I was younger?”

ahaha that makes all too much sense, augh. (though wait doesn’t he eat gems? does he need both?)

No, they’re ponies. Who fucking cares?
“I dunno, knowing the truth behind something can be—” Spike adjusted the muscles around his vocal cords to revert to the scratchy cadence he knew Garble would recognize “—pretty infuriating, dweeb.”
Widening his eyes in recognition, Garble slammed himself against the bars, foaming at the mouth. Spike stared at him in indifference as he reached his arms through the bars and clawed at the air between them.

oh yeah that would def get to him

No one died, Garble wrote and punctuated with a growl.
“Not at the time, but it provoked a follow up attack from the ponies who at that point were used to war.” Spike tilted his head, coldly regarding Garble. “How many casualties were there amongst the dragons?”

that is… certainly some sort of logic for who to blame for what happened…

“Killing,” Spike answered in a dull monotone, “I did my part in the war and that meant leaving a trail of corpses in my wake.” He felt his mind wander as memories of the battlefield came to the forefront. “I feel like I should be more bothered by it, but all I can think is how disgusted I am by how much I enjoyed it.”

oof, Spike the extremely desensitized child soldier

A look of respect crossed Garble’s face. Guess you are a dragon.

coming from a guy that didn’t kill any ponies when burning a town?

“I do since—” Spike saw the memories flash before his eyes. His sister begging to let them go. Fluttershy smiling through tears as she bled out over him. “—they’re important to me.”

love this, very cinematic

Pressing his head up against the bars, his eyes narrowing, he said in a deeper tone, “eliminate my enemies so they can’t get revenge on me?”
Starting to nod his head in agreement, Garble paused as he caught Spike’s tone.

ahaha love it

Not waiting to see if Garble ate his prize, Spike turned away and began to leave the dungeons feeling even more unsure of himself then when he’d began.

again another amazing character-driven chapter. really love the depth that you bring out in this Spike. all he needed was a few years of unimaginably horrific trauma and loss and murder to really burnish a shine on his canon issues of being a dragon raised by ponies!

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #15 · Dec 25th, 2023 · · · 4 You Bring Out the Worst in Me ·

Spike, by request of the Guard Captain, used his new power to burn through the enemies and watch Luna’s back. A trusted ally while her right hoof was preoccupied with the Storm King himself.

love that this is a dark reconstruction of Spike being used as a flamethrower in the canon movie scene, haha

Admiration and respect had truly morphed to something beyond that. I knew it was wrong. He was grieving, unstable, and not ready to commit to another after his prior beau had so callously left him. I was greedy, I wanted him for myself and I took advantage of the situation to forge a relationship wrought from grief and desperate need.

yes, not an ideal time to begin a relationship, but given everything going on at the time, it’s quite understandable the question of whether or not it’s a good time for one wouldn’t really factor in

Shining was hosting a lecture in the surgical amphitheater located in the Canterlot Main Hospital.

love this connection in the story between the awful splatter gore of one context and the lifesaving medical intervention of the other. which itself is the same duality that is had by the necromancy magic that brought Spike back to life! dang you are good

“when two different necrotic energies interact with each other, the weaker energy gets shorted out. As arcane cores are stronger, they would cause any biofuel run object to falter when in close proximity.”

oh that explains the lights in the family dinner chapter! also, love the use of a classroom setting to get some good, meaty diegetic worldbuilding in

“Tempest Shadow.” Flash, Spike, and Shining collectively tensed at the mention of the name.

hoowee, where will this go from here! and of course the chapter opening with Shining Armor decapitating the Storm King really informs the atmosphere here, love it

“Or kill her, or talk to her, or insult her. Quite frankly, I am indifferent. Whatever you may do, I will look the other way within reason, since the only worth she has is what peace of mind you may acquire from her.”

that is definitely what the Luna as depicted in this story would say here, love it

“Just to be clear, if you do not kill her, I will. Her actions make her life forfeit as a key instigator in the war. I only wish for you to do what is good for you rather than what you think is.”

those words from Luna at the end are sure to come back later

“You need to lay off, Shining,” Spike said, his voice soft and reassuring. “Remember what Luna said. Do what’s good for you, not what you think is good for you.”

that was quick!

“I hardly see the relevance, but,” she scrunched up her muzzle in annoyance as she growled out, “I was born in Ponyville, now… what are those looks?”

extremely understandable looks

“Team Beta or whatever they called themselves have also been forcibly disbanded. Rather easily since they all hung up those flags in plain sight,” Flash said.

that does sound about right

“I—” Tempest gulped. “I had been playing with some other ponies back in Ponyville when our ball rolled into a nearby cave. I’d gone in alone to get it back, but it had been home to an Ursa Minor. It attacked me, cracked my horn in half. My friends—” she spat, pure venom in her voice, “—abandoned me. Left me alone since I was a cripple,” a bubble of emotion caused her voice to hitch.

this motivation made sense in the context of the canon movie, but in this grimdark world it sure does feel very, very silly!

“I made them.” A prideful grin spread across her face. “My special talent is fireworks and that encompasses bombs. I used the organs harvested from the cockatrice of the Everfree Forest then mixed them up with several other ingredients to create the petrification bombs. Had them magically charged and ready to throw when we landed in Canterlot. We could only build a few, but we only ever needed to take out one of the Princesses.”

huh, for some reason i never sat down to wonder just where that petrification technology came from and just why we never saw it again. this makes a lot of sense! stealing it

“Do what’s good for me, right?” Shining said with a bemused smile. “I needed a few good punches and answers to some niggling questions I had. Now that I have them, I can say I sympathize to a point, but ultimately her motivation was as worthless as I knew it would be. It’s time to move on.”
Perking up immensely, Flash bounced to his hooves and nuzzled the side of Shining’s cheek, his tail wagging excitedly behind him. Rolling his eyes in amusement, Shining returned the affection.

aww, that is so heartwarming! i am so glad Flash and Spike are there for Shining Armor, they are such a wonderful family together

“She was conscious through everything. Right up until I stabbed her through the heart. In her final moments, she had changed her tune. It was all ‘Shiny, Shiny!’,” Tempest said in a mockingly high pitched voice, “always calling out for her ‘big brother best friend forever’ to come save her. Well, where were you BBBF?!”

oh boy. surely Tempest can’t think that Shining would give her a better end than Luna will? and augh, yeah. i was happy before but thinking back there was no way this arc would ever end so cleanly for Shining, was there

“Funny. That’s the same sentiment a dragon I talked to recently had.” Spike tapped a claw against his chin. “I’m starting to worry I’ve become abhorrent to speak with. Maybe I should attend one of those conversation workshops that are so popular right now.”

Spike def still has his sarcasm centers intact through all this

“So, I proposed mixing my dragon fire with some necrotic, which would make it last longer, way longer, and could have the heat turned down. Not too hot, but definitely still hot enough that it will hurt.” Bright magenta flames began to spew from his mouth through the gaps in his teeth. “Fun fact, this room happens to be soundproof, so no one will hear anything no matter how loud you are.”

hoowee

Tick. Tock.
It felt morbid, in a way. The ticking. As it was counting down to the end of something.
Something important.

noooooo not the foreshadowing!

“I’m not foalsitting you,” Flash said with the kind of resignation that bespoke of an argument already had.
“You have a shitty way of showing that you aren’t. Speaking of, why Captain? You never call me Shining, or Armour, or anything else.”

oof! honestly i was into their dynamic so much this caught me by surprise

“So, I call you Captain to… draw a line. For myself.” Flash shrink in on himself, bunching up with his wings hitched above his head. “I only want to call you by your name when I feel like we’re… okay. Like we aren’t just holding onto each other because of trauma, but just because…” he trailed off.
They both stared down at the floor. Unsure of what to say. The silence expanded and grew until it encompassed the entire room. Any words either stallion tried to say got stuck in their throats.
In the quiet, against all odds, the broken clock worked just once more.
Tick. Tock.
Before it permanently stopped.

i was wondering how you’d stick the landing here but you definitely have! and the broken clock stopping at the end, ugh, just cinematic and beautiful

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #16 · Dec 25th, 2023 · · · 5 This is Just How We Were Taught to Love ·

Now and forever, I would always be his.

in a word, masterful. like, wow. i could not imagine how good this flashback chapter could be, and i can’t imagine now how it could be any better. how it builds on the reveals of the previous chapters, retroactively explains so much about their dynamic, and expresses the true heart of that dynamic, that beautiful devotion that Flash has for Shining Armor…

somehow, in this very gory and messed up AU, you have written the definitive Flash x Shining Armor story. it is one of the best ships i have seen in all my years of reading ponyfic, and i’m not even past this section yet but i know this story will stay with me for a long time, because again, this flashback, wow. it is a crime this story is not read and loved by more people.

The walls and floors were all made of wood paneling with shelves of various momentos and nerd paraphernalia hammered into them. Any shelves with fantasy and tabletop items were Shining’s, anything with horror or weird cursed items were Flash’s. Anything that was some horrific amalgamation of both were Spike’s.

love this classification

One corner of the room had a hammock strung up with a guitar resting inside and sheet music scattered about the base.

hell yeah! love Flash’s guitar! and augh i wish i could characterize using the environment like this

Spike, the coward, had taken note of this earlier and decided he would make a fly-in trip to Ponyville to check in on the animals at Fluttershy’s cottage thus leaving Flash alone to deal with the uncomfortable silence.

love that this mirrors, somehow, Cadence abandoning the war

Because if he did, that would mean Shining could speak too.
And Flash wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what Shining had to say.

and augh, that high tension used so well here

“Do you mean just to go, or as a date?” Flash asked, a hopeful note to his voice.
“As a date,” Shining said, his face flushed.
A smile spread across Flash’s face. “I’d love to!”

yay! (and augh there is a good deal more story to go! just what have you planned here…)

It was a low brow affair. A few simple rides, some food carts selling food with enough grease to stall a heart instantly, and stall games that were little more than flashy grifts. Many would consider this to be a waste of time, too foalish for anyone that weren’t or had foals.
But it was Flash’s first real date with Shining, so it was the best place to be.

and honestly it feels really fitting somehow as a real first date for them! it somehow has to be a place where it’s normal to eat something greasy enough to give you a heart attack

Furrowing his brow in intense concentration, Flash ran through his options and finally settled on his choice. “Mozzarella sticks!” he exclaimed.
“Sure,” Shining conceded, his voice speaking with the resignation of knowing the horrors to be unleashed.

dangit i wish i could eat fried food now! i love fried food… i really am Flash Sentry in this one…

“Seriously?” Shining scrunched up his face in mild disgust. “You couldn’t wipe it off with a napkin or something?”
“Oh, please, that’s hardly the worst thing I’ve had on my mouth.”

nice

He tapped a hoof excitedly against the glass to the annoyance of the vendor as he turned to look at Shining with big eyes filled with foalish glee. “Look, look, look! It’s you!”
It did in fact look like Shining with its white plush fur and blue string mane. “It does. I’m guessing you want it?”
“Yep!” Flash nodded his head enthusiastically.

ahaha that is adorbs

“Colt friend magic.”
“What?”
“It’s the magic of colt friend’s getting their colt friend’s stuff they want!” Flash announced as if it was the most obvious thing in Equestria. “It’s a thing!”

so true that is definitely a thing in Equestria because Equestria is a nice place, even this one where all the horrible things happened :)

In a burst of magic, the darts zoomed forward and punctured through the entire wall of balloons along with the backboard. Splinters exploded from the impact littering the trough and stall.

gottem

Tapping his hooves together nervously, his face flushed, Flash said, “can I have lil’ Captain, please…” his blush intensified, “...Shining?”
Satisfied, Shining hooved over the plush to Flash who quickly wrapped up the prize close to himself with a wing. Taking the opportunity, Shining slid under his other wing and nuzzled in close, wither to wither.
Together, they walked in step to enjoy the rest of the fair, both stallions sporting massive grins on their faces.

aww yay!

“So, we’re actually keeping these in our bedroom?”
Flash opened his eyes and strained his neck to look over Shining’s withers. On the bedside table were the two plushies placed close together. Both were situated in such a way to appear as if they were kissing.
“Absolutely,” Flash answered as he returned to his previous position.

oh hell yeah!

Returning the gesture, both entwined their bodies together in such a way that it was difficult to tell where one of them began and the other ended. They breathed as one, perfectly in tune to each other as the remaining distance melted between them, beginning to mend the unseen broken bridges between them.

auaugh i love this

Until then, there would always be an excuse. Always be something that is happening to put it off. A new problem that had to be solved before Shining could deal with what he needed to.
It could take decades for Shining to be ready. It could never even happen at all. But, Flash would see it through.
He’d already dedicated his life to him.

and oof, that long list preceding this, Flash’s resignation to and acceptance of it anyway, augh…

A few tears fell from Shining’s face. “It sounds wonderful,” he whispered.
“It does,” Flash whispered back.
They continued to hold each other with Shining’s grip loosening as his light snoring signified his journey into the land of dreams.

and Shining asking for this, knowing he would imagine it, knowing he would know that it is the right thing to do and that he would have happiness… augh, the pathos. i love it so much

For Shining always had Flash’s heart.

and a perfect way to end it.

i’m not sure what else i can add here right now. just that this really is one of the best stories i have read on this site. i think i have a new favorite story from you, Otter. thank you so much for this wonderful and amazing work

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