🧁🐴💥😕
Author's Note:
I'm putting this into the body of the chapter to pad out the wordcount, as Fimfic does not count emojis as words when they clearly are. Especially when you basically use them to invent your own pictographic language on the fly. It's still the spirit of the contest, I'm sure. Given the extra time and effort readers will have to expend just trying to translate what exactly I'm trying to say here, this will most likely end up as the 'longest' story in the contest regardless. I'm curious to see how well you guys will be able to understand what each string of emojis means. Theoretically, even somebody not fluent in English could feasibly 'read' a good chunk of this. Be sure to comment with any questions and share your interpretations of the madness!
~ 🖋💭🌈👨
It was an ordinary morning in Ponyville. So ordinary as to be cliché. The sun hung ripe in the cloudless sky, and the residents were going about their lives amidst a pleasant lull devoid of monster attacks or wildly escalating friendship problems. One such resident, among the most well-known of ponies in town, was full of energy even at this early hour: Pinkie Pie. Ever exuberant, she went about her work with a grin from ear to ear, optimistic as always about the day ahead.
However, a shiver unlike any she'd ever felt before crept down her spine. A dread warning from her Pinkie Sense, moments before disaster struck.
For that was when, all of a sudden, 🙂🥡🦄🌎🔚
🧁🐴🛑🚆🔚🧁🐴😮🔚🧁🐴🍃⬇🎂🔚🧁🐴👀🎡🔚🚫🧁🐴🎁😄🔚🧁🐴💬Am I the only one seeing this... what do I even call this? A Doozy of the Medium?
👩⚕️💓🐴⏸👄☕🔚👩⚕️💓🐴💬💩🔮❓👩⚕️💓🐴💬🎁🌄💯🔚
🧁🐴🤔🔚🧁🐴🧁🐴💬Okay, something very, very fishy is going on here. I should probably get to the bottom of it! 🧁🐴🙆🕵️♀🧢🔚🧁🐴🎭☝🔚 Twilight will know how to fix this! At least, I hope she does.
🧁🐴😤🔚🧁🐴🐰📤⬜📐🔚🧁🐴🏃👑📚🦄👭🏰🔚🧁🐴💪🚪🔊🔚Twilight! Twilight, it's an emergency! The author of this story has gone mad!
🕒💜🐲🚶🧁🐴🔚💜🐲💬🧁🐴😨❓💜🐲💬🧁🐴💭👑📚🦄👨🔧❓
🧁🐴💬Yes! Where is she? This is urgent, I need to see her like RIGHT THIS SECOND!
💜🐲💬🧁🐴🥅😐🔚💜🐲💬👑📚🦄✅📜❌🛌🔚💜🐲💬👑📚🦄🔜😠🔚
🧁🐴💬Don't worry, I won't tell her you let me in. Thanks!
🧁🐴👋💜🐲🔚🧁🐴🏃❌🛌🔚🧁🐴😕⏫🔚🧁🐴💪🚪🔊🔁🔚🧁🐴👀👑📚🦄🔚🧁🐴💬You're still here, thank goodness! Wait, what am I saying, of course you are. But seriously, Twilight, I am low-key freaking the heck out right now.
👑📚🦄😟🔚👑📚🦄💧✅📜🔚👑📚🦄💬🧁🐴⛔❓
🧁🐴💬What's wrong? The world is broken! Cast into a depth of lunacy even Discord would not dare fathom! And nopony else seems to notice!
👑📚🦄🐢💬🧁🐴⛔❓
🧁🐴💬All the words in this story except my dialogue have been replaced with EMOJIS!
👑📚🦄😒🔚👑📚🦄💬🧁🐴🥅😐🔚
🧁🐴💬Ugh, that's what Spike said! But it's true! And if it continues for much longer, both me and the readers will go crazy. Or go do something else. But I don't have that luxury! The only luxury I have is this giant portable snow cone machine. 🧁🐴💈💁🍧📟🔚
👑📚🦄💬👑📚🦄🚫👨🔧🔚👑📚🦄💬💡🧁🐴🚶❌🦋🐤🐴🔚
🧁🐴💬Oh, good call. Even if she's also clueless, at least she'll probably also have some nice chamomile tea. I could really use a cup right about now. Bye, Twilight, enjoy your scheduling and blissful ignorance!
🧁🐴📤👭🏰🔚🧁🐴🌌🦋🐤🐴🏡🚽🔚🦋🐤🐴🎁🛁🔚🦋🐤🐴😱🔚
🧁🐴🐑💬Sorry! I was aiming for the flowerpot!
🦋🐤🐴🤦🔚🦋🐤🐴💬👌🔚🦋🐤🐴💬❓
🧁🐴💬I'm guessing you haven't noticed the emojis either?
🦋🐤🐴🙇🔚🦋🐤🐴🏜🦋🐤🐴🔚
🧁🐴😞🔚🧁🐴💬Figures. Still, could I maybe, possibly, impose for a bit longer? Like, help me get used to this?
😵🎲😈🚀🌌📥🦋🐤🐴❌🚽🔚😵🎲😈💬😵🎲😈👨🔬🙂🥡🦄🌎🔚
🦋🐤🐴😩🙄🔚🦋🐤🐴🙋😵🎲😈🔚
🧁🐴🚫👀🦋🐤🐴🔚🧁🐴😲🔚🧁🐴💬Wait, you do? This isn't a prank, is it? Because if it is, it's a pretty bad one by your standards. Like, I'm the only pony who's even noticed!
😵🎲😈💬🤞🚫😵🎲😈🔚😇🚀⬆😵🎲😈🗣🔚😵🎲😈💬➕😵🎲😈💭🙂🤣🔚
🧁🐴😩🔚🧁🐴💬Well, it was kinda funny at first. But I deem the joke to have officially run its course. And I'm also an authority on jokes. So, could you make it go away, please?
😵🎲😈🤝🗣🙅🔚😵🎲😈💎📯☢💲🤶🦐👾🤸🥓👠🔚😵🎲😈🤣🔚😵🎲😈🌌📤🔚
🧁🐴⏸🕒🕒🔚🧁🐴💬I'm not going to be able to unsee that, am I?
🦋🐤🐴🤢🔚
🕒🕒🧁🐴➕🦋🐤🐴👄🍵🔚🧁🐴😐🔚🧁🐴✅👭👌🔚🧁🐴📥❌🍎🌳🔚🧁🐴👀🍎🥃🐴🔚🍎🥃🐴😣🔚
🧁🐴🙋🔚🧁🐴💬Hey, AJ. I was just about to ask how you were doing, but that face you're making kinda tells me everything already.
🍎🥃🐴💬I reckon it would. I'm trying very hard not to lose my marbles after wakin' up to a right ridiculous situation.
🚀🧁🐴➕🍎🥃🐴😲🔚🍎🥃🐴💬Hold up, y'all ain't talking in nightmare runes! I thought I was the only one!
🧁🐴💬Woah, no way! Me too! Until Discord popped in, at least, but still. I didn't know you could also see past the fourth wall!
🍎🥃🐴💨🥇🎵🔚🍎🥃🐴💬Normally I can't, but our author pal decided I should be able to for this story. You know, since I'd taken that part over for you in that one spinoff show.
🧁🐴🤝👍🔚🧁🐴💬Right, right. Not gonna have an existential crisis? 'Cause if so I am prepared to console you with snow cones.
🍎🥃🐴💬Nah, I went through that already when we ended up in Thought Prism's Archer crossover some years back.
🧁🐴💬Oh, he gave you your memories too! That's like the cherry on top of the sundae! 🧁🐴😁🔚🧁🐴💬I never get to talk to anypony about this meta stuff. Well, besides Sangria and Ripcord that one time. Wanna chat about fanfics until the story hits precisely a thousand words and becomes eligible for the contest? 🧁🐴😉🖋🚲👩🔚🧁🐴💬It'll be fun!
🍎🥃🐴💬Sure thing. Do we wanna stand around out here in the orchard or go take a load off in the farmhouse? Because if we move it'll just make more emojis. And it's a beautiful day. Small mercy, that.
🧁🐴💬Yeppers, here is fine. So, how about these My Little Pony enjoyers, eh?🧁🐴😏🔚
🍎🥃🐴💬Less of 'em around lately, that's for sure. Most of the new kids brought in by our equally marketable successors probably aren't going to find this site. I, for one, don't mind being out of the spotlight after over a decade. Back to the simple life. Or as simple as it can get, at least.
🧁🐴💬Also, Fimfic's userbase shrinking might be a good thing, given what some of these authors like to write about foals...
🍎🥃🐴😡🔚🍎🥃🐴💬No kidding. Still, there are enough honest holdouts left kicking around to keep the new content coming for a while.
🧁🐴💬Our man TP here is one of the good ones, if I do say so myself!
🖋💭🌈👨💬Wow, Pinkie, that nickname is terrible. Between that and the wordcount, I'm calling it here.
📖🛑
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Only Pinkie would get into a bizarre situation
Happy noodle/meal horse world? My Little Pony?
An enjoyably creative idea.
Re: your authorial comment about icons and words: (after testing-->) the icons may be system-counted as separate words if you put spaces in-between them. I am mentioning this in case it will be useful rather than as a criticism--indeed, one of the contest rules (as I recall) was that humor and experimental stories can break the word counts.
Which I think was a great rule exception. 
WTF did I just not read?
It feels like I'm trying to read Egyptian
I understood enough to follow most of what happened, though I didn't get all of it. I'm sorry we didn't get to see 💎🦄 and 🌈⚡️🐤🐴 to see what they thought of the situation. Maybe 👑☀️🦄 or 👑🌙🦄 could have helped?
Wow, I understood a surprisingly large fraction of this. There are way too many little clever things for me to point out, but I especially liked the sheep as 'sheepishly' and 'dice demon' as discord.
And I thought my comments were bad.....
and I still do nothing
Eat cake
Using emoji...
I- Okay.
I love the Pony Life reference!
If as 👩🎓💬🖼🟰Ⅿ🗣, this might be one longest stories I’ve ever read.
I can’t even.
How bad of a person am think that translates to “AJ loosed a prize winning, musical fart”?
11190934
Lol, that second one is supposed to be that she hummed once. The first is intentionally uninterpretaable; it's Discord trolling the reader.
11190982
It’s always 🤸🥓👠 with that guy.
Nice work, 🧻.
Does that mean what I think it does? (Pinkie Pie teleported to Fluttershy's toilet)
If only I could see emoji rather than empty boxes, I might know what the title has in it. :V
11191064
Exactly.
Had to read this one on my phone; a good chunk of the “text” displayed as little squares of Unicode on my laptop.
In any case, certainly interesting and undeniably experimental. Perhaps a bit too meta for its own good, but it still made for an enjoyable puzzle, and the textual dialogue made for a good touchstone to keep things from going completely off the handle. All told, a fun bit of surreality… though there’s an argument for exploiting the “emojis don’t count” principle to provide a longer plot arc that could resolve the crisis.
Eh, you did what you set out to do. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.
i feel like "🦄🌎" stands for "Equestria", but then don't know what verb "🥡" represents. emojis "took out Equestria"?
hehe, that is a cute name for Pinkie
ah, "🎁" as a "present tense" marker?
hehe, hard to know what "💩🔮" would have been exactly in Ponish but the meaning feels clear in emoji form
aww, glad nothing's wrong to other ponies! also, Nurse Redheart, of course!
hehe, talking to herself, as Ponks often does
and of course she would be hamming it up in her little detective costume, classic
guess "🐰" is meant to be "quickly", but the other parts of this sentence elude me. something right angle?
aww, Princess Twilight Sparkle's Friendship Castle! i love her
hehe, i like how this is one of those dialogue tags that ends a full sentence
Spike!
augh, what is "🥅😐"? unsure of her goal?
aww, Twilight's not awake by her schedule yet? or forbid entering her bedroom by her rules? that is what
makes me think
aww, she's busy being hard at work doing important document stuff? that is so her!
hehe, her asking what's wrong again, but slowly?
there's that "🥅😐" again!
hehe, very Pinkie thing to do
hehe, "🐤🐴" for pegasus, cute! and i guess "❌" is a preposition like "to", but then i would think an arrow is more appropriate there
ahaha aww, poor Flutters!
aww, is "🏜" her being quiet? being lost? how is a desert a verb???
yay Discord
ah, so he knows something about "🙂🥡🦄🌎", interesting
hehe, he promises that it wasn't him
ah, he made a halo appear on himself to emphasize his point? or Discord's shadow was doing something separately?
guessing that is something so disturbing that it is somehow only communicable in emojis and not Ponish
aww, poor Fluttershy!
yay Applejack!
haha this took me a second. and i'm not the only judge, you know! also, i don't have long hair!
i certainly hope so!
i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/030/329/cover1.jpg
well that was certainly unexpected and interesting! an experimental fic if i've ever seen one, up to getting if anything much too meta toward the end, making it "experimental" in the metafictional way as well. great job!
I'm glad I discovered this. It reminds me to purchase a copy of Emoji Dick the next time I can snag a 30% off coupon for Lulu (I'd also stock up on horse fiction once I find such a coupon).
I feel sorry for the people who get tons of empty unicode boxes on their screen instead of emojis. What's even worse is when you download a story to read on an e-reader, and have to scroll through pages of random numbers. That happened to me once, as my kindle doesn't support emojis.🙃
I always enjoyed James Corden's "Emoji News," even though I sucked at deciphering the emojis. I'm thankful for the comments explaining "what the fuq I just read," (thank you, 🖋🚲👩!) and will figure the rest of it out some day!
"Emojis are taking out Equestria"?
🦋🐤🐴 🟰 🥇🐴🔚
Cupcake pony quickly left Sugarcube Corner.