• Member Since 2nd Aug, 2014
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AJ Aficionado


The Guy who wrote "Dibs on My Sister". Editor for Clopficsinthecomments and Prereader for Firesight. I love Bat Ponies. Eeee!

Comments ( 80 )

A sexy Eeveelution team without Vaporeon? Especially in an MLP crossover where the egg group part of the meme is actually valid (there's a "humanoid" egg group)? Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit!

11190832

Ahh yes. I'm familiar with this joke. Here's a repost of this meme for the non-Pokémon inclined reading this story:

Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.

11190849
That meme always confused me, because the phrase 'acid armor' just doesn't sound appealing for something I'm putting my dick in to cover itself with.

Besides, everyone knows that Flareon is the most fuckable Eeveelution.

11191019
I'm a glaceon man myself but flareon is highly fuckable. Respect!

The vaporeon meme is widely hated and almost no one actually agrees with the logic. It's still fuckable, as all eeveelutions are.

11191041
Your help was very much appreciated, Strong Man!

11191043
Of course, everyone knows that the true thing that makes the eeveelutions great choices is that they're a natural harem when you have a Russian assortment¹.

1: That's Oneovich.

Does anyone agree with me that the eeveeolutions are well established characters within the 1st 2 chapters?

11191099
That's very kind of you to say, Sleepy. Thank you. :rainbowkiss:

11191019
To be fair, the move has a very misleading name; it consists of liquifying the user's body in order to better absorb physical strikes. If she's using it properly, lining up with an actual hole becomes optional.

My own issue with the pasta is that the egg group for humanoids is mostly separate from Vaporeon's (a given Pokémon can have two egg groups; the overlap includes fandom husbando Lucario and the Vegas showgirl rabbit which I put in hyperlink form so that I can prove I'm not joking)

11190849
A true Vaporeon afficionado knows the male vappy copypasta too! Even though I am more a Sylveon main myself~

And here is the copypasta in question!

The male Vappy is the real star of the show.

Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control with like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone with that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy.

And hat's only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond.

There's still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Me-owth, that's fucking right!

But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail, at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck!

Well, guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. F*cking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing.

Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (passed where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type. But, who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past!

I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Sylveons may be my favorite. But, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.

11191195
Sylveon is legendary fap fuel. Arguably the best-designed pokémon of them all.

I'm still Team Glaceon though. Just something about its face that speaks to me.

11190832
There's also a distinct lack of Jolteon

11191722
Again, I was referencing a copypasta.

11191722

11191821

Guys, guys! How about a Jolteon copypasta?

Actually, I dunno how that would work. It's covered in spines that would make sex without a suit of armor pretty much impossible. Then there are the accidental current discharges... :fluttershyouch:

The pleasant white noise of rushing water greeted the umbreon’s ears as his eyes stirred open.

You're supposed to capitalize the Pokemon species names.

Do I need to have any knowledge of the Pokemon mystery dungeon series in order to know what's going on here?

11192074
I don't think it's covered in spines I'm pretty sure it's just hair, but it's all like spiked out like it got static'd

11192188
I did not for reasons explained in the chapter 1 author's notes.

11192192
Headcannon accepted. This is the way.

11192192
Jolteon's spiked fur is so sharp and needle-like he can fire off his hairs to damage enemies in Pokémon Mystery Dungeon.

Jolteon is a quadrupedal, mammalian Pokémon. It is covered in yellow fur with a spiky fringe around its tail and a white ruff around its neck. Its ears are large and pointed with black interiors, and its eyes and small nose are black. It has slender legs and small paws, each with three toes and a pink paw-pad.

Jolteon's prickly fur is made of electrically charged needles and generates negatively charged ions, which create a sparking noise as it moves. It also has an electricity-generating organ in its lungs, and crackles of electricity can often be heard when Jolteon exhales. The static electricity in its fur amplifies the low-level electricity generated by its cells and allow it to discharge 10,000-volt lightning bolts. This Pokémon is most often found in cities and towns under the ownership of Trainers. However, its high-strung nature and tendency toward mood swings can make it difficult to train.

Source: Bulbapedia.

That's no reason you can't imagine otherwise, though! It's like the whole 87.5% male thing with Eeveelutions. It doesn't really matter. Have your fantasy lady eeveelution dream girl if that's what you want.

11192282
well it says it right there. it's prickly fur, which is way different from SPIKES.

11192345
The larger objective in bringing that up has nothing to do with nomenclature, but the fact the fur itself would likely be very sharp and thus dangerous.

11192345
I'm pretty sure nobody who was ever stabbed in the dick cared what the thing they were stabbed with was called.

11192348
I personally dont think of the fur being spiny or spikey all the time, only when the jolts electrify their bodies does it become spikey/spiney. Like ya cant tell me in the pokemon world that if you got a pet jolteon that you gotta fear always petting it for you might hurt yourself.

Like if we took the Pokedex literally, theres alot of shit on there that would make it that having a pet pokemon is a super bad idea.

Umbreon - When they sweat they will sweat poison https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Umbreon_(Pok%C3%A9mon)

Right in the last few posts of the biology, meaning if you and yer umbreon pet are running around and working up a sweat, you could easily get yerself killed as you would get poisoned by the very vapors of a sweaty umbreon as its literally poisonous.

Glaceon also is a bad choice too, as its an ice mon its internal temperatures are super cold, and if it licks you, you will get frost bite from it. Which is also very bad, same to Flareons, getting burns from its tongue.

Like alot of mons are super dangerous IF you take the pokedex as factual everything and not think of other things.

Like Glaceons would obviously be able to control its body temperature, so that it wouldnt harm the ones it loves, especially if its mating a Leafeon its deeply in love with, Ice kills Grass remember, and same to Flareons too, controlling their inner temperatures to ensure no harm comes to the others they care about.

And now with jolteon, an pet jolteon is gonna want pets, ear scratches and butt scratches, it wont get that if we take the dex literal, after all Jolteons are just foxes/dogs, and we all know dogs love those kinda things. So it would make major sense if its fur was actually soft, and would only become spiney OR spike like when its using eletricity to fight.

Im only just putting logic into this whole discussion, like thinking outside the box and not taking what info we got as face value facts.

Ah, perfect. A PMD crossover, finally! I played most of them, with your quality this should be good

11192385
I suppose it's worth mentioning the "pet your Pokémon" modes that were added starting in X&Y. Where only Slugma and Regice are rendered functionally unpettable. (Presumably Jolteon is like sharks, where you have to be careful to pet along the grain. Or in the case of this kind of petting, make sure she shaved down there)

11192745
Ahh, I never played that. I'd think if you can pet it, you can have sex with it.

11192745
Ive played those games, and its super limited on where you can pet. After all its a 3ds game.

11192771
But I've heard there's always somewhere that won't either injure you or make your 'mon react poorly, except for the two I mentioned. The corollary is that there's somewhere that you can pet Jolteon without stabbing yourself.

Wow, this has gotten off to a roaring start! There's just one thing it needs, and that's some actual comments on the content! Seriously, folks, I've been enjoying the back-and-forth in replies, but how about some commentary on the story itself?

AJA has left longpost after longpost on my works over the years, giving running feedback on my chapters, and they're some of my favorite comments just for how involved and funny they can be. In some small way, I'll return the favor here.

Ebon, Sorry for leaving you in the dark (literally).

That's okay, Umbreon. You're already a dark-type anyway!

I’m hoping someone’s discovered a new continent or something so we can have a change of scenery for once.

Sadly, all recently discovered portals only go to places like Narnia or Middle Earth. And those are too boring for words.

So why not just quit? I admit the thought has occurred to me more than once. But then I think about how much Glassie would hate not having violence to dish out and how awkward it would be to tell Sike we’re retiring just after recruiting her. And that’s not even considering how hard you’d take it. Oh, just listen to me ranting onto the paper. I’m sorry to dump my frustrations like that onto you, love.

No you're not, Leafy.

To get back on topic, we’re also hanging with the old guildies to try to get Sike to come out of her shell.

And she's not even a turtle-type Pokemon!

The espeons I’ve met have all tended to be deep and introverted like her, particularly the ones raised by non-espeons. I guess that’s the cost of being as highly specialized as we eevees are — we’re also highly confusing, even to our own family. I’d probably feel awkward around others too, honestly.

For as much as I love Umbreon, I think it's the Espeon I most relate to. Given her ability to power up from sunlight, I wonder if she and Celly would get along?

Wherever you decide to send us, please don’t forget to grab an escape orb at the bank in case things go to heck!

Or Equestria. Whichever.

Ebon just thought she was impossibly cute with her forked tail and amazing flanks. If she weren’t so shy and he wasn’t her boss, he might forgo taking Sike to mystery dungeons and just train her in bed.

So name her the team's chief morale officer!

Glassie the glaceon had come from humble beginnings, serving as an artificial snow maker for a ski-resort in Kanto — a fate that she’d confided had been such torment for her, she had recurring nightmares of somehow ending up being forced to do it again if for some reason she couldn’t go exploring anymore.

I'm sure Luna will find the dreams of Pokemon interesting, if she hasn't already. "Princess Cadance! By our starry mane, why dost thou insist on contacting these strange creatures? Their dreams are filled with nothing but food, fighting, and rutting each other senseless!"

"And this is different from the average pegasus, how...?"

The village also had a completely justified reputation for being tolerant of inbreeding and incestuous pairings.

Ebon? Edelweiss? I invite you to visit the realm of Thestralslovakia...

If these outsider pokémon knew Ebon had been ‘slipping his sister the bone’ and ‘tying her in knots’ from time to time, he could expect to find his own face on a wanted poster.

WANTED: Bred and alive.

If his teammates were normally some of the most beautiful pokémon to ever live, they looked even better with wet fur.

What about you, big boi?

Next on Ebon’s to-do list was the overflowing trash can next to the ice stone-powered freezer he put Edelweiss’s letter into. No use leaving evidence of their less-than-platonic relationship for the others.

That's an easy fix. But when her love juices drip to the ground and cause plants to sprout, that's a little harder to hide.

Glassie had apparently finished off the last of her Hoggin’ Pawz half-gallon carton of ice cream

Nice! :rainbowlaugh: That definitely wasn't there when I first preread the story.

“Arceus, darn it, Glassie!”

Never use His Name in vain, or he might descent and smite you. Or at least cause something embarrassing to happen, like being discovered having sex with your sister.

“I really need to get laid. I really, really, really need to get laid.” Ebon whimpered to himself

You and me both, Umbie. You and me both. :ajsleepy:

“Weird. The post doesn’t even run today.” A strange excitement gripped him as he pondered the implications. “Could it be… Wonder Mail? No way…”

Well, since I'm pretty sure the Gryphon Express Courier Service doesn't yet run out that way...

House rules stated that everyone washes their dishes immediately after using one and as leader of Team Allure, he had to live by example.

That's my rule too, but since I live alone, motivation is lacking to do it. I let my dishes pile up way too often.

“This is incredible! I thought the secret rank thing was a joke!” He gave a whooping cheer and he leapt into the air on all fours.

I would too, given it came with a plastic decoder ring that looked like it came out of a crackerjack box.

His team had once rescued a scizor from a lovestruck froslass, and it’d granted him and his team the ‘secret rank’ which would allow for missions to be sent for his eyes only

His eyes scanned over the letter. It was an invitation to explore a mystery dungeon he’d never heard of called ‘Ponyta Passage’

Oh, come on, Umbie--I'm sure you've I've wanted to explore a Ponyta's passage yourself over the years. :ajsmug:

“The bag's a little heavier than when I picked it up at the hideout. Kek the Kecleon’s Shop had a great deal on reviver seeds today so I bought them all!”

You'd better have! All his stuff is Top Kek.

silently cursing his luck and backing away as Glassie strutted up to the two of them like the mayor of Treasure Town.

*boss music plays*

“No, I’m not okay!” Sike sat down huffily, slashing her tail angrily behind her. “Glassie tried talking some bidoof into asking me out and he did!”

Ebon knew this particular bidoof, a rodent-like pokémon with large buck teeth. A nice guy if rather unsophisticated in his mannerisms.

Hey, I wouldn't want to be asked out by some total doof, either. Especially not by the Pokemon version of Hayseed Turnip Truck
static.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/5/55/Hayseed_Turnip_Truck_cleaning_windows_S2E9.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/1000?cb=20140114033559

“Glassie, I know you mean well, but you need to consult with your teammate before trying to pass her off like an unwanted hold item you pulled out of a nicket’s hoard,” Ebon said sarcastically. “I mean, do you even know if she likes guys?”

A dimension away, Roseluck didn't understand why she felt suddenly mortified and a terrible urge to faint.

Arceus, I am a stupid idiot. Ebon thought to himself. He didn’t know what he hated himself for more at that moment — that he was an unwitting participant in Glassie’s bullying or that he still hoped deep down he’d have a chance to rut the beautiful espeon senseless someday, especially given she was genuinely curious about her sexuality.

You know perfectly well that all she needs is a big, powerful, well-endowed Umbreon to sweep her off her paws, Ebon. :rainbowwild:

He blinked and shook his head at the thought. Check that — a stupid, horny idiot who still needs to get laid, badly.

That's me two weeks after getting fresh testosterone pellets implanted. :facehoof:

“Yeah, I’m sorry… I guess.” Glassie grated practically through her teeth. “But speaking of scoring some action, where are we going today, boss? Hopefully somewhere with a lot of grass and ground types for those sweet, sweet type-advantage criticals. I wanna wreck some faces!”

Is this our lovely Glassie or my version of Limestone Pie? :raritywink:

Ebon imagined an entire brood of Glassie’s brown-and-tan striped eggs surrounding them in a candle-lit circle, each resting in their own nest of straw. The glaceon begging for just one more eevee as his erection sank deep inside her again and again — the whole room soon overflowing with eggs. He knew he’d have to stop eventually but his hardness never faltered as he seed instantly replenished with each climax.

“EBON!”

"Yes, scream my name, Glassie..."

"WHAT?"

"Huh? Oh, Nothing..."

“But enough of that. Actually, I have some fantastic news to deliver to you all. Give me your maps. I need to update them.”

“Update them? What do you mean, Ebon?” Edelweiss asked, before she pawed over the map she’d stowed in her leafy green chest fluff.

Just wait until Pinkpie starts pulling stuff out there Edelweiss doesn't even remember being put in! :pinkiecrazy:

I'm greatly enjoying all the added detail so far, and all the sexual tension in this group. I foresee absolutely no indulgences taking place on this most platonic of Eevee teams. Nope, nothing at all... :moustache:

Well then so far so good, it is consistent with pmd time, i liked more pmd sky but thats just more quality of life things that it has, besides being able to pick riolu and eevee as playable characters. Hope to see more of this.

11192972

AJA has left longpost after longpost on my works over the years, giving running feedback on my chapters, and they're some of my favorite comments just for how involved and funny they can be. In some small way, I'll return the favor here.

It was my pleasure!

Sadly, all recently discovered portals only go to places like Narnia or Middle Earth. And those are too boring for words.

Cadance noped the fuck out once she was obligated to deal with Tom Bombadil's bullshit.

No you're not, Leafy.

It's not fair to deny her the cross-eyed bear that you gave to her. You-You-You- oughta know. :trollestia:

And she's not even a turtle-type Pokemon!

There's going to be something snapping on her, though!

For as much as I love Umbreon, I think it's the Espeon I most relate to. Given her ability to power up from sunlight, I wonder if she and Celly would get along?

I imagine that if Sike were a shiny form Espeon, she really would be a green new deal. :raritywink:

Or Equestria. Whichever.

Po-tay-to, po-taw-to. Horse pussy, canid knots. Variety is the spice of life.

So name her the team's chief morale officer!

cdn-img.fimfiction.net/story/gj0m-1629062033-501263-full

I'm sure Luna will find the dreams of Pokemon interesting, if she hasn't already. "Princess Cadance! By our starry mane, why dost thou insist on contacting these strange creatures? Their dreams are filled with nothing but food, fighting, and rutting each other senseless!"

"And this is different from the average pegasus, how...?"

I can totally hear this conversation!

Ebon? Edelweiss? I invite you to visit the realm of Thestralslovakia...

We've been spending most our lives, livin' in an incest paradise...

WANTED: Bred and alive.

Eyyyyy! :rainbowlaugh:

That's an easy fix. But when her love juices drip to the ground and cause plants to sprout, that's a little harder to hide.

I'm getting FRI flashbacks. Maybe I should add that later...

Glassie had apparently finished off the last of her Hoggin’ Pawz half-gallon carton of ice cream

Nice! :rainbowlaugh: That definitely wasn't there when I first preread the story.

I borrowed that reference from Snow Cave.

Well, since I'm pretty sure the Gryphon Express Courier Service doesn't yet run out that way...

It must be Hogwart's School of WItchcraft and Wizardry! You're a wizard, Ebon!

I would too, given it came with a plastic decoder ring that looked like it came out of a crackerjack box.

You'll shoot your eye out, kid!

Oh, come on, Umbie--I'm sure you've I've wanted to explore a Ponyta's passage yourself over the years.

Alas, he never has. If he did, he'd find he can take them all the way to the hilt.

You'd better have! All his stuff is Top Kek.

Feels good, man!

silently cursing his luck and backing away as Glassie strutted up to the two of them like the mayor of Treasure Town.

*boss music plays*

An obvious choice coming from me, but in my mind, the best boss music anyone could ever have.

Hey, I wouldn't want to be asked out by some total doof, either. Especially not by the Pokemon version of Hayseed Turnip Truck

Oh god, I remember him! I wonder if there's clopfic of him? No, I'm not looking for it.

A dimension away, Roseluck didn't understand why she felt suddenly mortified and a terrible urge to faint.

I may have had a couple of old characters of mine in my head when I wrote Sike and Glassie...

You know perfectly well that all she needs is a big, powerful, well-endowed Umbreon to sweep her off her paws, Ebon. :rainbowwild:

static1.e621.net/data/sample/6c/6b/6c6b7477cef8328e0e961a7ac33ad077.jpg

Come get some, ladies. There's enough of me to go around! Mrrrooowr.

Is this our lovely Glassie or my version of Limestone Pie? :raritywink:

Yes.

Yes, scream my name, Glassie..."

"WHAT?"

"Huh? Oh, Nothing..."

It would be funny if that scene kept going!

I'm greatly enjoying all the added detail so far, and all the sexual tension in this group. I foresee absolutely no indulgences taking place on this most platonic of Eevee teams. Nope, nothing at all... :moustache:

It's just four young, fit, eeveelutions with ungodly massive ears going on adventures in an AJ Aficionado story...

What could possibly happen!?

“‘Ponyta Passage’?” Sike replied slowly, repeating back the words as if they were spoken in some foreign language. “It’s filled with ponyta, I presume?”

Or it gets filled by other Eevees, Sike.

“Completely understandable, bruh… I mean boss,” Edelweiss quickly added as Ebon cringed slightly.

Can a girl have a bruh moment? I say yes.

“Just my luck they’d have a type-advantage over me. Not that it’ll save them from my blizzard!” A breeze wicked past them, sending a plume of powdery snow from off of Glassie’s back and into the air.

Rainbow Dash would like this girl. I could see her challenging Glassie to a weather control contest.

“I don’t know what lives there, Sike. The message didn’t say and it sorta… caught fire and burned up after my map updated,” Ebon replied delicately.

"It's my fault, though. I'm just too hot an Umbreon."

<gets promptly frozen by an eyerolling Glassie>

“I find the only real item you can truly rely on to save your hide in all situations is the escape orb,” Sike opined. “Retreat is sometimes the best strategy.”

Glassie turned to look at Ebon, clearly upset that she’d had to swap out ‘hail’ for ‘water spout’.

“Stupid, water-type move…” Glassie grumbled, walking away from the Electrivire Link shop. “I feel like such a sell-out…”

Glassie's a class-traitor! :pinkiegasp: And you know what that means!

They wouldn’t have to worry about food and shelter during the six-month-long journey it’d take to get there, but he knew he and his party were going to be really sore before it was all over.

If you know what I mean... :ajsmug:

Six and a half months later, their destination came within sight of Team Allure’s caravan.

They were two weeks late because Ebon and Edelweiss kept sleeping in each morning for reasons they weren't at liberty to disclose.

Previous experience had taught Ebon and his team that once you got a glimpse of the kangaskhan statue — a magical access portal to the bank account back in Treasure Town — you’d found the entrance to your mystery dungeon. This particular statue was set in front of a wide-open cave mouth that let up into the mountain; not for the first time he wondered how statues had been transported out there in the first place.

Enslaved house elves from Harry Potter. :ajbemused:

“Oh, what is it now, Glassie?” Sike said irritably. “What is your counterpoint to this? Do you think he should be sleeping with all of us? Maybe we can all be evaluated on how well we can suck his…his…”

“His what?” Glassie replied with all the false sweetness of a smiling mawile.

Perfect image. :rainbowlaugh:

“Sike, I know you don’t like reading other pokémon’s minds because you prefer not to know what they’re thinking so I’m going to spell it out for you: You’re breathtakingly gorgeous and Ebon has noticed.”

Thank God girls can't read guys' minds. If they could and were in charge, we'd all be locked up for life.

Glassie continued speaking as if she’d heard nothing. “He’s noticed all of us are beautiful, sexual creatures and in his mind, he’s imagined having sex with all three of us. Am I wrong? Tell me, Ebon. Just answer me this one question. Am I wrong?”

Yes. I want to have sex with all three of you at once! he just caught himself from saying out loud, only to remember that Sike could read minds. He looked up to see her cheeks go pale, then bright red as she took several involuntary steps back from him...

I jest. Ebon's trying so hard to be honorable here, but it only makes him all the more desirable.

As she spoke, Glassie’s voice became higher and higher pitched as if she were genuinely in fear. “And to top it all off, their ribbons are all swaying at once! Like they could just jam every one of them inside of you at any moment and no one will even hear you scream!”

Glassie’s head whipped around and looked outside at the growing darkness behind them as if half-expecting an assault of amorous sylveons at any moment.

So Glassie has a weakness other than fire types! Well, you don't have to worry, Glassie. They'd go right past your shaking form and make a beeline for Ebon as an Umbreon anyway, ravaging him with tongue and tendril mercilessly.

Admittedly, the idea of being cornered by a sex-crazed sylveon and taken advantage of did give the weaker-typed umbreon a bit of a thrill which he quickly squelched. That was just a silly obsession and no one else had to know about it.

That and being photographed while it's happening with his helplessness displayed for all to see.

“That was… a most unusual turn of events, I must say,” Edelweiss said in surprise understatement as Ebon could only stare. “But not entirely unwelcome!”

“I take it that you’re thanking me, then,” Glassie replied, frowning back at her.

Edelweiss sighed. “Yes, I suppose I am. Just be gentle with her, okay? This is progress for her, but it can all be ruined in an instant if you push her too far.”

Ebon nodded his agreement, finally finding his voice again. “You’re also going to tell her that this… encounter of yours is a one-time thing so she doesn’t expect wedding bells to come out of all of this.”

Glassie winced. “Yeah, I know how this looks. Just have a little faith in me, okay? You two are the ones who need to go slow and take it easy.”

Thanks for including this sequence. It defines the characters and grounds the story in at least a little more realism to start.

"Ebon looks thick enough to breed a zoroark!"

Or maybe an Alicorn Princess several times his size... :moustache:

“Brother?”

“Yes, Edelweiss?”

“My tent, now!” she lashed a pair of tendrils around his belly and began dragging him towards her own tent.

“Y-yes, dear!” he said as he made only a half-hearted show of resisting, letting his toeclaws dig into the ground as if he was being dragged there against his will. Which was anything but the case, but they did enjoy a little roleplay now and again.

And Glassie thought sylveons could be assertive! That was the last thought he had before he disappeared inside the tent.

Sexy even without showing anything directly. Enough detail that I could visualize that scene easily.

Excellent opening chapter! It's the attention to detail that really sells this along with taking pains to establish the characters and their personalities as something more than total horndogs. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course...

Really looking forward to more! I'll hit the second chapter tonight.

11193037
I wish I owned PMD Sky. That game is the clear best of the series.

Comment posted by AJ Aficionado deleted March 27th

11193048

Or it gets filled by other Eevees, Sike.

They will all get filled eventually. "E-boi!"

Can a girl have a bruh moment? I say yes.

Initially, I had it in my head that was just Edel interrupting herself while saying "brother" but prereaders pointed out, it could also be construed as Edel responding to an actual Bruh Moment.

"It's my fault, though. I'm just too hot an Umbreon."

<gets promptly frozen by an eyerolling Glassie>

I'm too sexy for my map. Too sexy for my map. So sexy, gotta take a nap.

Glassie's a class-traitor! :pinkiegasp: And you know what that means!

Medieval Europe uses Stake Burning. It's highly effective!

They were two weeks late because Ebon and Edelweiss kept sleeping in each morning for reasons they weren't at liberty to disclose.

In that space of time, I'm betting Ebon had to deal with her heat cycles and had to abstain. Poor, poor Ebon.

Enslaved house elves from Harry Potter. :ajbemused:

The way JK Rowling handled that entire subplot is one of the most baffling failures of Harry Potter as a whole. The slavery of the House Elves doesn't make any sense and is on its face appalling but Hermione is made to look like an honest-to-god fool over it. The hell was that woman doing? Why did we never get an explanation for where they came from or how they became enslaved? Why is JKR so bad at worldbuilding? Fulfilling Pinkie's Dream was explained better!

Thank God girls can't read guys' minds. If they could and were in charge, we'd all be locked up for life.

Especially if the girls looked like Espeons. :rainbowwild:

I jest. Ebon's trying so hard to be honorable here, but it only makes him all the more desirable.

Indeed it does. Mark my words, he'll claim all three of them and more by the time we're through.

So Glassie has a weakness other than fire types! Well, you don't have to worry, Glassie. They'd go right past your shaking form and make a beeline for Ebon as an Umbreon anyway, ravaging him with tongue and tendril mercilessly.

The sheer number of things Sylveon can prod you with are overwhelming to consider. And if it's a male, oh dear.

That and being photographed while it's happening with his helplessness displayed for all to see.

Sum is a huge inspiration to this story. I really wanted to capture his version of Umbreon to apply to this story. And that video is amazing. My favorite by far.

Thanks for including this sequence. It defines the characters and grounds the story in at least a little more realism to start.

As much as I'd love for this to be endless fucking, it may as well be porn at that point. There is plenty of Pokémon crossover porn on this site and plenty of inoffensive stories about ponies and Pokémon going on adventures. I wanted story with sex here because this site doesn't really have a "Gentleman For Mares" for the Pokémon crowd.

Or maybe an Alicorn Princess several times his size... :moustache:

I can envision how that'd go several different ways.

Sexy even without showing anything directly. Enough detail that I could visualize that scene easily.

Excellent opening chapter! It's the attention to detail that really sells this along with taking pains to establish the characters and their personalities as something more than total horndogs. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course...

Really looking forward to more! I'll hit the second chapter tonight.

Thanks! I look forward to hearing from you then and taking a peek at what you're working on...

Sorry to not get to this last night as promised, but I’ll do my longpost on chapter 2 now. :ajsleepy:

The sun was high in the sky before they’d climbed out of their sleeping bag — and only after Ebon had unknotted himself from Edelweiss’s inviting pokénest

My greatest contribution to fanfiction may yet be the term 'nest' to describe female reproductive equipment. And it works doubly good with pokemon, since 'pokenest' is a double-entendre in its own right.

...pumping a week's worth of pent-up sexual frustration into his sister’s willing womb.

Go, Ebon! :rainbowwild: This doesn't even need a scene description to visualize it.

“You slept well!” Glassie winked at Ebon and Edelweiss

"Actually, we didn't sleep at--"

"Ebon!"

"Er, uh, I mean... oh, hey, want some miltank sausage?"

The purr motor in her throat was going full bore; wetness along the surface of Glassie’s neck showed evidence of recent intimate grooming between the two eevees.

Love it. And there's no nicer a sound than a purring cat.

“We haven’t spotted any outlaws since arriving here weeks ago and there haven’t been any aggressive moves from the denizens of Ponyta Pass itself. I can’t remember the last time I’ve visited such a peaceful place.”

"Too peaceful. I was at least hoping there'd be some aliens or something."

"Aliens, Glassie? Really? How likely is that, really?"

"No less likely that Sike jumping into bed with me last night or you being Ebon's sister, Edelweiss... oh, sorry, am I not supposed to say that out loud?"

Glassie shook her head. “Combat makes all pokémon stronger, Ebon. It elevates the civilized and the savage alike! It’s an insult to the savages we’ve brought out of the darkness to suggest a good beating wasn’t exactly what they had coming.”

The more I learn about Glassie, the more I like her. Can't wait to see her butt heads with Rainbow Dash, probably literally.

semi-organized bands of wild pokémon who would sometimes surrender after being fought to submission in honorable combat in close-quarters. Most would be allowed to flee after being defeated, depending on the circumstances.

Be glad they're not coming to Tellus during the pony/griffon war, and the first things they meet are gryphon raider groups or harpie pirate clans. :unsuresweetie:

If they attack us, we use the escape orb back to camp, equip ourselves suitably for battle and you all know the rest.”

“For glory, for money, and for eevee!” Glassie saluted Ebon with one paw over her eyes.

What else is there? Aside from bat-ponies, maybe... please tell me they'll appear in this!

“D’awww!” Edelweiss exclaimed. “You two are adorable together. Don’t ruin a good thing, Glassie!”

Glassie gave a sort of resigned chuckle. “You know me, Edelweiss, Ebon. I always do.”

Please don't hurt her, Glassie. I've only known her for a little over a chapte, and yet, I already know Sike's too precious for words. Which goes to show how well you've already developed these four. Well done, Sempai!

The four teammates stood in a single file line at the kangaskhan statue, withdrawing everything from their bank back in Treasure Town they’d need.

Unfortunately, they quickly discovered that the bank had learned of old social media posts of theirs and froze their funds after an outcry.

Ebon looked back at Sike. “This isn’t the time for doubting yourself either! You’ve got ability but you lack confidence and patience. Let the enemy see nothing but your smile; this is what the guild master taught me. So show them your smile as you smite them!”

"Smite them?"

"Sure, it's easy! Just use this:"

hosting.photobucket.com/albums/af336/EastOfNowhere_photos/Image%20macros%20created%20by%20East%20of%20Nowhere/Smite_Button_3D.png

Go away, boner! Ebon mentally chastised his illicit erection.

Now I resent that! My boi Ebon's erection is never illicit! It's a force of nature and always a beautiful sight to behold.

But I can feel your thoughts, Ebon! Even still you’re becoming more aroused at the thought of me. This is so cool! Sike continued her mental dialog.

She gets some for the first time and now she's insatiable. Not counting any odd influences that might be having an untoward effect on her, of course. :moustache:

Sike gave a pout and broke the psychic connection. Ebon thanked Arceus for that one small favor. Though somehow, he felt more distracted than ever, navigating the dungeon ruminating on the fact that one of his subordinates not only knew how badly he wanted to stud his nubile, young recruit, but that his erection would possibly never go down at this rate.

"Crystal Heart Meth is not for everyone. Seek help if you have an erection lasting more than four hours..."

Some real action and the promise of much more to come! Sike came around quickly. Now if we could see her overcome her fears and learn to fight... or maybe the pony she'll most identify with is Fluttershy...? Look forward to finding out either way!

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My greatest contribution to fanfiction may yet be the term 'nest' to describe female reproductive equipment. And it works doubly good with pokemon, since 'pokenest' is a double-entendre in its own right.

This is so true. Retrofitting my pony tools to work with Pokémon has been one of the more vexing challenges this sort of fiction and you my other fur-aligned prereaders have been instrumental in allowing me to branch out.

"Actually, we didn't sleep at--"

"Ebon!"

"Er, uh, I mean... oh, hey, want some miltank sausage?"

Smooth as butter! But his sense of decency and large penis allows him to overcome the occasional awkward moment with his beloved sister.

Love it. And there's no nicer a sound than a purring cat.

I understand well from long experience. I still miss my old cat I had to put down last year. My house is much easier to clean and far more sanitary but it's never been lonelier. I don't think it's a coincidence that I was drawn to Pokémon the same year I had to say goodbye to my old friend of fifteen years.

"Too peaceful. I was at least hoping there'd be some aliens or something."

"Aliens, Glassie? Really? How likely is that, really?"

"No less likely that Sike jumping into bed with me last night or you being Ebon's sister, Edelweiss... oh, sorry, am I not supposed to say that out loud?"

:rainbowlaugh: Now, now. Sike is the one most likely to have a Biden Moment like that. Though, Glassie is enough of a shit-stirrer she might also say something like that.

The more I learn about Glassie, the more I like her. Can't wait to see her butt heads with Rainbow Dash, probably literally.

Glassie is based and Darwin-pilled.

static1.e621.net/data/sample/02/b8/02b81ce5a70ac0abeb9d28d36327f299.jpg

[Shoot them all video]

I have a little-known Flower Trio art piece that sums up Team Allure's policy towards unprovoked attack. I believe neocons call it "peace through superior firepower".

derpicdn.net/img/2014/11/23/770052/large.png

What else is there? Aside from bat-ponies, maybe... please tell me they'll appear in this!

The Pokémon will be ecstatic to learn that there are sexy bat creatures on Tellus because there sure aren't any where they're from. Yeech!

Please don't hurt her, Glassie. I've only known her for a little over a chapter, and yet, I already know Sike's too precious for words. Which goes to show how well you've already developed these four. Well done, Sempai!

I can't be senpai. You are senpai! Or Sempai. Whichever. At any rate, I have to say this is easily the best job I've ever done developing such a large team of characters in so little time. Sleeping Cobrox down below certainly agrees with your assessment!

Unfortunately, they quickly discovered that the bank and learned of old social media posts of theirs and froze their funds after an outcry.

Based and canceled! :fluttershyouch:

"Smite them?"

"Sure, it's easy! Just use this:"

Consider yourself... admonished! :rainbowlaugh:

Now I resent that! My boi Ebon's erection is never illicit! It's a force of nature and always a beautiful sight to behold.

You got that right!

She gets some for the first time and now she's insatiable. Not counting any odd influences that might be having an untoward effect on her, of course.

Too much pink energy is dangerous!

"Crystal Heart Meth is not for everyone. Seek help if you have an erection lasting more than four hours..."

I feel like Equestria Mystery Dungeon is the completion of a time loop that started in 2014 when you wrote Five Star Service. It's as if the technology you were using then is something I've finally developed for my own use. Perhaps in ten years, I'll be where you are today!

Some real action and the promise of much more to come! Sike came around quickly. Now if we could see her overcome her fears and learn to fight... or maybe the pony she'll most identify with is Fluttershy...? Look forward to finding out either way!

Thanks for the longpost. I'm glad I could entertain you and look forward to your next entry!

And yet, there wasn’t a guard in sight, as if the treasure held no value at all.

Would Pokemon food or items hold any appeal to ponies? It's an open question. I suppose the berries would, at least, but things like elixirs or other hold items might not. Or maybe they would when ponies discover they can instantly recharge their magic?

The small room they were standing in was lined with wooden beams on the ceiling and floor that must have taken great care to hammer into place by either a pokémon with hands or a psychic-type.

I look forward to seeing their reaction to earth ponies grasping things with hooves and building structures without any digits or psychic abilities.

“That sounds reasonable. But we’ve already climbed fifteen floors and we still haven’t encountered anyone.” Sike pointed out towards the hall. “We should find something to sleep on and have something to eat.”

Or someone to sleep on... :ajsmug:

The look Glassie gave Sike was as if the espeon had sprouted antlers.

Well, maybe the Ibex have an interest in this odd world as well!

His recently subdued erection began to creep back up again.

Creep back up to it's normal state again! Edelweiss will vouch for the fact that it's abnormal when he's not aroused!

“You’re all pretty tired and it will be dark soon,” Ebon started to pace the hallway slowly. “I’m sure it will be okay to sleep in your own rooms. I can take the first watch. If I need you, I’ll signal distress.”

"But if I don't, stay in your rooms and don't check up on us!"

Across from him, Sike put on the least-convincing smile Pokémon World had ever borne witness to.

Nice sentence. No description necessary; just let the reader imagine it.

“You bet your eleven inches you have, boss!”

Ebon uses Massive Cock.

It's super-effective.

“Don’t let it stop there if you’re willing. We trust you, Ebon. Now trust yourself and do what’s right.”

Said no human woman, ever. Thank god for Pokemon.

“You saw… everything, Sike.” Ebon’s eyes remained closed.

“More than you know, Ebon. I saw into the minds of Edelweiss and Glassie too.” His sensitive ears could just make out the gentle pattering of dainty paws as she crept closer. “I think… if we could all read each other’s thoughts, this would all be so much easier to talk about.”

“I’m afraid to ask but I have no choice,” Ebon was trembling slightly now. “Do you know about me and Edelweiss?”

That's cat out of the bag, Ebon! And worse, she's now sitting in front of you wanting very much to pounce your bones. And boner!

Sike pressed her body against his and for the first time he felt it. Softer than the finest silk and warm to the touch. The touch of an espeon.

I love this.

He opened his eyes and looked at her face. The orb on her forehead glowed softly with solar energy — the source of her great power.

She and Celly have something in common.

“Ebon, none of us has any idea whether you’ll end up with your sister or not, but she is genuine in her love for you. If you… do the, uh, thing… with me…” Sike groaned and smacked herself on the forehead. “That sounded so ridiculous, I might just die.”

No problem. Just pretend you're Joe Biden. He actually said that line.

“I think I know what you’re saying, Sike.” Ebon draped a leg over her shoulder and kissed the back of her ear at its base. “I believe you, Sike. I trust you. I trust all of you with my life.” He kissed it again, trailing his tongue across its considerable length.

It wouldn't be an AJA story without earplay! :yay:

A little harder. Make it hurt but just a little! Sike quickly fired back into his thoughts.

How much is a little? Your ears are super sensitive! Ebon thought back in some worry to her.

Enough to make me a little scared. Just try something! Sike was sounding really impatient now.

And now I just like Sike all the more. Adorable and needy and wanting to feel like she's being hunted.

That’s how it is, eh? I’m not letting you off that easily, Sike. Ebon got up and sat back down in front of her, stroking one of her ears in his paw. “You want me to work for it, don’t you? Don’t feel ashamed to ask better of me, Sike. I must do my best as your leader to take care of all of you.”

A good leader puts the needs of his subordinates before his own and wants to do right by then. You're not just a good Umbreon, but a good guy, Ebon. I'm really going to have to work some of this version of you into Feathered Hearts.

“I hope you’re ready for more. By the time I’m done with you, we’ll both need elixirs!” Ebon punctuated his words with another strong nip to her ear.

Hope there's a few in the room stores! They're going to need more than one by the time they're through...

But he wasn’t in any mood to mount her just yet.

Delayed gratification is also a strong sign of good character.

I had to train and get better so I could be my best for you, Sike. Ebon replied in a like manner.

An experienced lover makes all the difference, especially with a first-timer. They can make that all-important first time good.

“By Arceus himself, you’re a great fit!” Ebon said huskily. Most eeveelutions had a tough time handling his stature in the past to the point he’d actually been turned down a lot for sex.

Then you're going to love ponies, Ebon! You'll fit all of them; especially the alicorns! :rainbowwild:

“Who knows. Maybe she did!” Ebon replied. “It’s different for every female. I can lie and say you did if you want…”

“Ooooh yes! I like that idea!” Sike gushed gleefully, a contented silence falling between them as Ebon began thrusting his hips.

I'm not sure why she'd like that idea, but hey, Ebon's willing to lie for her! That's true friendship right there.

Sike’s will throbbed into his head, her thoughts urging him to nip and bite at the ruddy fringes of her immense ears, to sate her desire to taste but a small manageable pain to season the waves of pure pleasure like a dusting of hot powdered oran berries on a sausage. Sparks of fear triggered by primordial eevee instincts to flee hungry predators were followed paradoxically by sudden attachment to the source of her very fear.

Again, excellent description that gives a purpose to pain in a way readers can instantly understand. Pain can indeed accent pleasure. Hell, the two are very closely related. And the feeling of being stalked is often a strong-turn on, whether or not certain people would ever admit it.

I'll skip the rest in the comment only becuase it's explicit and I don't want to spoil it. You've got superb sexplay here and equally good detail on the scene. I enjoyed it immensely, and this story is off to a roaring start. Hey, Princess Cadance! What problem will you get thrown at this time?

11194208

Would Pokemon food or items hold any appeal to ponies? It's an open question. I suppose the berries would, at least, but things like elixirs or other hold items might not. Or maybe they would when ponies discover they can instantly recharge their magic?

It's valuable for the later stated purpose of feeding the Pokémon they hope to civilize but you bring up an interesting question that needs to be answered down the line. Might the ponies end up importing these resources to Equestria for their own use? Seems like a reasonable assumption, no?

We'll get more on that next chapter.

I look forward to seeing their reaction to earth ponies grasping things with hooves and building buildings with any digits or psychic abilities.

Don't underestimate normal-types! But yeah. They're in for huge shocks when they see how put-together pony society actually is.

Or someone to sleep on... :ajsmug:

Ebon truly is the luckiest guy on Pokémon World. You ever wish I'd just go with a tragic backstory for once? I mean I come from Fallout Equestrian roots but I'm all sunshine on rainbows on paper.

Well, maybe the Ibex has an interest in this odd world as well!

"Is this an alien creature I summoned into my house or am I just profoundly drunk? And why do I want to have sex with it?"

Creep back up to it's normal state again! Edelweiss will vouch for the fact that it's abnormal when he's not aroused!

I have it in my head that Eeveelutions like him have basically zero refraction time until after a ridiculous number of rounds, owing to the adaptable nature of Eevee and his dark-typing.

"But if I don't, stay in your rooms and don't check up on us!"

Now that's stating the quiet part out loud. Biden would be proud!

Ebon uses Massive Cock.

It's super-effective.

And it can be used up to twenty times before needing to recharge!

Said no human woman, ever. Thank god for Pokemon.

If we didn't have fantasy females we'd be stuck with the real thing. And that would be a tragedy.

Sike pressed her body against his and for the first time he felt it. Softer than the finest silk and warm to the touch. The touch of an espeon.

I love this.

I love Espeon! They're everything Mew could have been.

“Ebon, none of us has any idea whether you’ll end up with your sister or not, but she is genuine in her love for you. If you… do the, uh, thing… with me…” Sike groaned and smacked herself on the forehead. “That sounded so ridiculous, I might just die.”

No problem. Just pretend you're Joe Biden. He actually said that line.

I swear this was not intentional! That doesn't mean it isn't hilarious in hindsight.

It wouldn't be an AJA story without earplay! :yay:

i.imgflip.com/32c650.png

A good leader puts the needs of his subordinates before his own and wants to do right by then. You're not just a good Umbreon, but a good guy, Ebon. I'm really going to have to work some of this version of you into Feathered Hearts.

And by a wild coincidence, that story already has an "Ebon Umbreon!"

Then you're going to love ponies, Ebon! You'll fit all of them; especially the alicorns! :rainbowwild:

Sex tourism is best tourism!

I'm not sure why she'd like that idea, but hey, Ebon's willing to lie for her! That's true friendship right there.

I really should add another line to that.

I'll skip the rest in the comment only becuase it's explicit and I don't want to spoil it. You've got superb sexplay here and equally good detail on the scene. I enjoyed it immensely, and this story is off to a roaring start.

Thanks, Sensei! My sex has come a very long way since 2014. Hell, it's come a long way since 2020.

Time to finish off my promised longposts.

When the ponyta walked into the center of the room and lit its horn, the torches lining the walls and ceiling burst to life, filling the room with warm, orange light.

Unfortunately, the Pokemon had a less than favorable reaction.

The ponyta giggled into one of her gold-capped horseshoes. “Now what kind of host would I be if I attacked my guests on sight?”

True. Even if you're evil, you'd be violating the supervillain code of conduct by doing that. You're required to wine and dine your victims first, boast of your plans, launch into a long monologue detailing every aspect of them and how brilliant you are, and then put them into some elaborate trap and walk off to give them a chance to escape it.

“No, umbreon, but I commissioned the messenger who sent it to you on my behalf. Or is that the same thing as me sending it? My stationery doesn’t spontaneously combust after being opened.” The royal-looking ponyta shrugged its equine shoulders. “I’ll leave you to decide that detail.”

She's right. It only induces you to have sex with the nearest individual you have favorable feelings for, even if it's your mother.

“Riiight,” Ebon replied slowly. This was surely the daftest encounter with a ponyta he’d ever had, though thankfully not the most threatening given his vulnerable position.

Be grateful it wasn't Luna. "When thou art finished rutting thy intended, if thou wouldst be so kind as to sheath thy stallionhood in our presence! Only our beloved may show himself to me! Him, and the occassional teenage colt in dreams..."

“Hold up!” Edelweiss butted in. “Sike, that stone you found is pink like this ponyta’s fur. You were right about it not being poison. It’s actually love!” Edelweiss pressed against her paws against her furry cheeks. “Awwwwwwwwhhhh!”

Ebon shut his eyes again. Will the embarrassment ever end?

Not until you appear in endless art galleries in all your naked and knotted glory on earth, Ebon. Oh, wait...

“Oh, don’t think that, Miss Sike,” Cadance said consolingly. “It didn’t make anything happen you didn’t otherwise want. It merely amplified the love each of you feel for each other so you could more easily express it.

Which is basically how zap apples work to me.

It’s also proof positive that your kind are harmonious beings!”

“Harmonious beings?” Glassie chimed in with a glance at Edelweiss. “You’ve clearly never faced us in battle!”

"Actually, we were hoping to hire you as mercenaries against the gryphons and Storm King. What are your rates? Will you work for Oran berries?"

“Violence is the one true law in Pokémon World, Princess Cadance,” Glassie said gruffly. “It makes us all equal under our God, Arceus.”

Just so long as it's not equitable, which is an evil word at this point.

No one’s seen Arceus in ages. Keeps to himself; lets pokémon do the work of managing the universe he created while he presumably creates more.”

Actually, he's in retirement without ever telling anyone, lounging on the surface of a sun somewhere and sipping tea with Celly.

Even though they all blushed, Cadance merely smiled. “Ah, yes. Perhaps a bath is in order for you two before we discuss why I’ve asked for you to come.

If you know what I mean...

They’d spent nearly the entire climb talking and even now Ebon still had questions, least of all was how they were speaking the same language, albeit with vastly different dialects.

Plot convenience. It's the same with stories everywhere, including the G4Mverse.

While no one in Pokémon World had any interest in dominating life on the entire planet — or even possessed the means to do so — huge wars followed by lengthy periods of peace saw the races of “Tellus”, the planet Ponies came from, decide it was a good idea to seek out new races through interdimensional travel.

So they could spread their warlike ways to all!

And like any good diplomat, he was sizing up this pony as a potential rival, carrying on a constant conversation with Sike through telepathy.

He's not wrong. That is the definition of a good diplomat, of which we have very few remaining at this point. They're all toadies or sychophants now and usually get ambassadorial or foreign embassy postings as rewards for loyalty, not ability.

I’m more interested in her wings, to be truthful with you. She’s not registering as a flying type while she’s grounded but that could be because she’s also typed as fairy.

And you can’t be more than two types at once, I get it.

Maybe she has the Pokemon Type equivalent of Cutie Pox!

“You are too kind, Princess.” Edelweiss bowed respectfully. “Now I think about it, I’ve never seen you take a warm bath, Glassie. That won’t hurt you, will it?”

“Seriously? I’ve been blasted in the face with more flamethrower attacks than I can count. No bathtub could ever hope to vanquish ‘The Glass Cannon!’”

Sounds like a circus act! Hey, Glassie, mind bringing your show to the dragon realms? I'd love to see Garble's reaction to a small blue creature shaking off his full strength fire blast like it was nothing, then freezing his fire in turn.

Ebon exchanged a look with his teammates. This isn’t just some random human-turned pokémon intrusion. It sounds to me like an alien invasion! I better keep my eyes on these ponies. “How many of you are here? Are there more of you coming?”

“Not unless you ask!” Cadance said cheerfully. “That’s why you’re here. So we can finally speak to each other as equals. Forgive our intrusion on your lands. Our secrecy was an attempt to not disrupt life on your world.”

The Pony Prime Directive. I can't wait to see these guys meet Q--er, Discord.

Glassie nodded, apparently enjoying the show by the look on her face. “She’s got a point, you know. Ebon Umbreon: Career Diplomat. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

I prefer Ebon Umbreon: Raven Assassin and future lover of human eevees. You know of whom I speak... :ajsmug:

Ebon blinked. “You… evolved?”

She smiled again, closing her eyes at what seemed to Ebon a pleasant memory. “It’s very rare in ponies but it’s true. When it happened, I gained the ability to fly as well as channel the power of love. Before then, I was just an emotionally confused teenager who kept being force-fed the feelings and emotions of everypony I came into contact with.”

"So I threw a tantrum, told my mother that nobody understood me, said I wished I was dead, then went off to cry in my room for a week. But that stopped as soon as she told me she'd take my smartphone away and I could no longer text with my friends."

Cadance smiled as Ebon’s eyes went wide–had she been reading his earlier thoughts, both when he’d been ogling her and trying to categorize her type? “My abilities are more empathic than telepathic.

So in other words, she's Troi from TNG, not Professor Xavier from X-Men.

Especially if they were going to ride the train in first-class again. And pay for all the alcohol the four were going to drink after this.

I've gotten to ride in business class twice class for short flights when they had seats opened up and offered a discounted upgrade for them. It was heavenly--wide seats, quick service, better food and wine.

“But there’s a treasure more valuable than I can possibly offer waiting for each of you in Equestria. This I promise you!” The Princess of Love winked at Ebon.

There are two ways I could interpret that! :rainbowlaugh:

Look, Sike. Steel-type ponytas! Ebon thought to himself.

Don't worry, they're useless, Sike. At least in canon. In my stories? Well, that's another verse entirely.

I really need to hunker down and learn how to open psychic communication between all of us at once. Sure would make this super-secret spy stuff a lot easier.

Sorry to say, the Equestrian Intelligence Service and Council of Crows are already monitoring your social media posts on Pokebook.

The room had no visible lamps, lanterns or fires. The entire room itself seemed to give off its own radiance. A matching tick-tocking wall clock read 10:25 PM.

I like genuine tick-tocking clocks. They're rare nowadays but I find them soothing.

When Ebon opened the door, he was greeted with a green paw clasping a fudge-coated ice cream bar.

Clasping to her mouth, or her...? :pinkiegasp: Yes, I know she's eating it.

let’s hit the showers, everyone!”

Now Ebon sounds like a high school basketball coach!

“The only problem here is you, stinky! You can have fun with us tomorrow after a good night’s rest and thorough cleansing. If you get really lucky, you might even get a shot at studding that pretty, pink pony Princess!”

If ponies really are pokémon, and fit in the field-type egg class like ponytas do, we might be able to cross-breed. But an interdimensional being that’s reproductively compatible with an eevee? There’s no way Arceus would allow it!

Arceus might have something to say about it, except he's currently rutting Celestia on the surface of the sun.

The pieces on one side were mostly white, the other side mostly black. It looked like white was winning because they had more pieces on the board.

Yeah, Luna ragequit at that point.

Ebon chuckled. “So, you think sheer eeveelution sexiness is going to win the day?”

In this story? By definition!

“Because that which seeks to ambush the umbreon will always approach from behind,”

Unless it's a Sylveon, in which case they won't care which direction they approach from because they're going to capture and ravish you no matter what.

Ebon lowered his voice to barely a whisper. “It’s not that I don’t trust our hosts, it’s that I don’t trust anyone right now.

Batman approves.

A superb three-chapter intro to the story, sir. Their reactions here at the end ring true to me as none of this quite makes sense to them, but then again, they're still thinking in terms of their own world and society as opposed to the pony one, which they don't understand yet. But oh, will they!

Very much looking forward to more! And hope you enjoyed the longposts!

11196177

Unfortunately, the Pokemon had a less than favorable reaction.

"No, no, no, Gollum. *Points to Flareon* It burns us. *Points to Glaceon* And it freezes us! You need to get your Eeveelutions straight."

True. Even if you're evil, you'd be violating the supervillain code of conduct by doing that. You're required to wine and dine your victims first, boast of your plans, launch into a long monologue detailing every aspect of them and how brilliant you are, and then put them into some elaborate trap and walk off to give them a chance to escape it.

Imagine if I actually took the "Based AJ" route of making the ponies evil just to take a shot at Seasons 8 and 9. But nah, I'm not going to do that. :rainbowlaugh: That's what we have Dibs on My Sister for.

She's right. It only induces you to have sex with the nearest individual you have favorable feelings for, even if it's your mother.

Knowing who she married, that's not a far stretch for Cadance. 💪

Be grateful it wasn't Luna. "When thou art finished rutting thy intended, if thou wouldst be so kind as to sheath thy stallionhood in our presence! Only our beloved may show himself to me! Him, and the occassional teenage colt in dreams..."

Luna would looooove Ebon! She's all about dark-types. You don't get much darker than a pokémon who's literally named "Blacky" or "Black Lucky" in Japanese and at least in part resembles Bastet.

Not until you appear in endless art galleries in all your naked and knotted glory on earth, Ebon. Oh, wait...

Umbreon is the single most popular Eeveelution on E621 and boasts not only a very sizable block of male models but a formidable female presence as well. Though, face it; Umbreon will always, always be a guy to us two.

Which is basically how zap apples work to me.

And now we know who I shamelessly stole this concept from.

"Actually, we were hoping to hire you as mercenaries against the gryphons and Storm King. What are your rates? Will you work for Oran berries?"

"Next thing you'll be asking us to provide you with MREs. Have you tried just robbing Sombra's supermarkets? Oh, you're already doing that. :fluttershyouch:"

Just so long as it's not equitable, which is an evil word at this point.

Like the communist system, equality has more or less been discredited as a meaningful concept. Whenever it's tried, you get a class of people who are all equally worthless ruled over by a smaller group that's stupidly rich. The only true equality is death and that's the kind of realistic, if somewhat fatalistic, mindset I see the pokémon subscribing to. The strongest reach level 100 and the rest exist at their pleasure. A bleak outlook for a race of competitive magical beings.

Not going to lie, after 7 years of writing pony, it's a breath of fresh air.

Actually, he's in retirement without ever telling anyway, lounging on the surface of a sun somewhere and sipping tea with Celly.

Gamefreak will never let the poor guy retire. Every time Pikachu breathes, The Pokémon company makes another ten-thousand-dollars.

Plot convenience. It's the same with stories everywhere, including the G4Mverse.

I had lengthy discussions over Discord with one of my prereaders who was very unhappy with much of chapter three. In a lot of ways, this chapter is fundamentally flawed from a writing perspective. But not every piece of writing necessarily exists to be a perfect example of good writing. The inherent contradiction in story clop like this story is there are a number of story beats EMD must necessarily hit before the next thing can happen.

Like Demon Eyes Laharl, I am left with the conundrum of balancing titillation to keep readers from being bored and solid fundamental writing to keep things from getting too stupid. And just like with DEL, I think removing the language barrier is a no-brainer because it takes us where we need to go at little cost. At the end of the day, while fancy Youtube criticism done by creative writing class graduates regurgitating their professor's lectures for clicks can be useful to a point, they aren't the ones buried elbow deep in horse pussy. Or Poképussy for that matter.

This is a hobby, not a mercenary exercise, and we're here to enjoy ourselves. Of course, you understand that as well as I do but it's worth repeating here.

So they could spread their warlike ways to all!

Pony conquistadors! Nopony expects the Lunar Inquisition!

Maybe she has the Pokemon Type equivalent of Cutie Pox!

It's all fun and games until every single element can deal super-effective damage to you which each attack.

Sounds like a circus act! Hey, Glassie, might bringing your show to the dragon realms? I'd love to see Grumble's reaction to a small blue creature shaking off his full strength fire blast like it was nothing, then freezing his fire in turn.

"Don't think I'll do my work for free! I only accept tubs of ice cream and Pocky sticks as payment!"

static1.e621.net/data/sample/c6/b2/c6b298d63f705582c56e9b4737d26a80.jpg

The Pony Prime Directive. I can't wait to see these guys meet Q--er, Discord.

Discord shows up and flips everyone's strengths and weaknesses. The first inverse battle occurs.

"So I threw a tantrum, told my mother that nobody understood me, said I wished I was dead, then went off to cry in my room for a week. But that stopped as soon as she told me she'd take my smartphone away and I could no longer text with my friends."

Clopficsinthecomments has some really awesome backstory of Cadance in his stories between all the crazed, highly detailed sex that I'm drawing on here.

So in other words, she's Troi from TNG, not Professor Xavier from X-Men.

And just like with Troi, she's made for fucking and not driving the damn ship!

There are two ways I could interpret that! :rainbowlaugh:

And you know which one I was thinking of. :moustache:

Sorry to say, the Equestrian Intelligence Service and Council of Crows are already monitoring your social media posts on Pokebook.

Ukraine would have won the war by now and recaptured all of their lost territories if they just used the Terms of Service agreement against the Russian military. We all know it's the strongest force in the known universe. :duck:

Now Ebon sounds like a high school basketball coach!

Ebon will lead Dominion Academy to victory and fuck the entire faculty, man and woman alike! :pinkiehappy:

Arceus might have something to say about it, except he's currently rutting Celestia on the surface of the sun.

Canonically, he could probably do this, as he's able to change his elemental alignment using a special tool he carries with him.

Yeah, Luna ragequit at that point.

Agreed. I can totally see Celly being the better chess player.

Unless it's a Sylveon, in which case they won't care which direction they approach from because they're going to capture and ravish you no matter what.

That is true on every possible level. I find umbreon to be one of the weakest eeveelutions in the game I'm playing. They're kind of boring and terrible honestly. No ranged attacks except quick attack which strikes enemies 1-2 tiles away. Pretty crap.

A superb three-chapter to the story, sir. Their reactions here at the end ring true to me as none of this quite makes sense to them, but then again, they're still thinking in terms of their own world and society as opposed to the pony one, which they don't understand yet. But oh, will they!

Very much looking forward to more! And hope you enjoyed the longposts!

They were fantastic! You certainly brought the level of discourse on this story up quite a bit. I must say to anyone reading this that Firesight's work on the Gentlemanverse and especially this story strongly influenced this one. Check it out when you're done here!

Note: everything written before reading the comments.

As she spoke, Glassie’s voice became higher and higher pitched as if she were genuinely in fear. “And to top it all off, their ribbons are all swaying at once! Like they could just jam every one of them inside of you at any moment and no one will even hear you scream!”

You sound like you've been thinking a lot about sylveons tying you down and making you scream. :ajsmug:

Are you sure what you're afraid of isn't that it'll be too intense and you can't handle it?
Is that the reason you sleep with barely-legal starters? They're virgins, you're experienced, that puts you in control?

“Yeah… it’s so weird. I’ve never felt so… completely okay in all my life.” Sike replied blissfully. “This sounds crazy but I think this pink stuff is good magic. It feels like I’m somehow closer to all of you since I picked that stone up. Like I want to — Arceus, this sounds creepy — like I want to be somehow closer.”

Wow, that's creepy "I'm being mind-controlled" talk.


I really liked how the sex was built up to. I got a real sense of desire/horniness for each other. This is often neglected, frequently horniness is described like an annoyance.

The breeding aspect was a bit out of nowhere though, like it was just thrown in.


The gist of what he’d gathered from the flying magical pony was that the dimension she’d come from was dominated by a small number of so-called ‘nations’ that governed the affairs of everyone living there. This was vastly different from the heavily decentralized confederated states that pokémon lived under, filled with tribal nations, microstates and vast swathes of wilderness.

This is very weirdly described and I can't imagine someone with the sort of background described would highlight these parts of nationalism was unfamiliar rather than other ones.

Their stated goal was to share their message of cooperation and goodwill with the goal of achieving Harmony for all.

Frankly sounds kind of iffy. There are obviously a lot of good reasons to seek out new peoples, and and once you do you want to be in harmony with them. But if your stated primatry motivation is seeking new people to be in harmony with them, that sounds more like "we want new people to convert to our elightened culture/ideology".

Maybe she was right and this ‘harmony’ ‘peace’ and ‘tolerance’ thing could make things better for the pokémon?

It seems very weird to suggest the pokemon haven't heard of peace, and what is tolerance doing here? It certainly does not sound like the ubiquitous pokemon violence isn't motivated by intolerance at all.

It’s a completely undiscovered type but I can sense it.

Curious to see where you're going with this. Especially since I can't think of anything about Cadence that doesn't fit with Psychic/Fairy, unlike for example Celestia since Sun stuff is partly Fire and partly Grass. Is the other type Magic, Harmony, or Love?

“But we were surviving on assistance from Equestria for years before we could start producing our own food while still remaining inconspicuous. Once we concluded the creatures here couldn’t be tamed, I sent out agents to learn more about the world and discovered civilized towns and cities. We then disguised ourselves and integrated into pokémon society to study it.”

I was about to ask "Changelings, or Twilight's transformation spell?" but then the bigger thing got throught to me. The implication that Cadence and the crystal ponies do not consider themselves Equestrians, and consider Equestria a separate country they need to have food indpenendence from. And that the pokemon world incursion is a specifically the Crystal Empire's project?

“I can’t find anything wrong with what she’s saying,” Ebon replied. “But I never really thought of myself as some heroic explorer. Everything that’s happened to us seems like it should have happened to someone else like Team Raider. And besides, if you’re a Princess of some vast pony kingdom, why not summon the saviors of Time and vanquishers of Darkness instead? Aren’t they more on your level?”

Edelweiss remained silent but continued gently stroking his paw with hers as he continued to rant.

“No one’s ever really heard of us and yet we were invited all this way. Do we truly deserve this honor? Am I capable enough to lead us through Cadance’s challenges, or am I going to be a disaster? We’ve been picking over the leftovers of far greater teams for so long. I guess when I read your note and then Cadance was standing there asking me to be the representative of all life on this world, I lost my nerve.”

This comes off like foreshadowing for Ebon being chosen because he and his team are third-rate and frustrated, and therefore easy to manipulate when presented with an opportunity for becoming world-important.

Yes, I did notice that Cadence already said she tried famous teams and they only want to fight. And the implication that the real reason is this team appeals to Cadence personally, because they fuck and also are ripe to turn into a polycule.

This bit just sounds like that is all.

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