• Member Since 19th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen Yesterday

SPark


I dabble in nearly everything. Sometimes that means I write pony stories.


T
Source
This story is a sequel to In the Eye of the Storm

A half-remembered dream leads Twilight Sparkle to test a new "window" spell by looking at an alternate Equestria. What she sees there will lead her and her friend Princess Luna into adventures they had never imagined possible. A season one fic.
As featured on Equestria Daily.

This is technically a sequel to In the Eye of the Storm as it's using the same versions of Twilight and Luna, but you can absolutely read this story without having read that first.

I began writing this story during season 1. I've updated some things to reflect canon changes in season 2, however at that point I decided that having to constantly go back and change things every time something new happened on the show just wasn't going to work, so the story ignores most of season 2, and everything from season 3 onward.

This story owes much of its quality to Jordanis, who is practically the co-author at this point.

Chapters (14)
Comments ( 128 )

:rainbowderp::twilightoops: My reaction

These what-if-Nightmare-Moon-had-won AU fics are like crack to me, and I enjoy this one very much. I'm very happy that you brought Luna along for the ride, as I'm interested to see her reactions to the world she would have created, as well as NMM's reaction to seeing and possibly battling her alt. It's a good thing Dale hung around from the previous story, because I imagine things will get emotionally taxing for our version of the night princess.

Also, call it a nitpick if you like, but you might wanna go over Chapter 3 and standardize Pinkie Pie's "black snooty / black snootie" lines, cos it's spelled both ways.

In the style of the guy above me, this was my reaction:
:applejackunsure::pinkiehappy::raritystarry:

I have no clue what that means, but interpret it how you will.

2485

Thanks for pointing out the snooty/snootie thing! I hadn't even noticed. And I'm glad you're liking it so far. :)

The scientific world owes you a thanks! I will now be inventing time travel in order to read the rest of the story.

I wasn't expecting much out of this one, but boy was I wrong. I read through all four chapters as if spellbound, excellent work.
I love all the little extra details that help to flesh out both the environment and the characters: like the descriptions of a place, the discussion about the world being heated by the sun underneath, and the Origin of the Royals. Absolutely engrossing! Oh, and the subtle nudges towards a potential TwiLuna have me firmly riveted to seeing this through to the end.

But please do not rush anything! A story like this could easily span 15 chapters or more, if done properly. You have a great start on the important trick of keeping the reader involved in the environment as well as the characters, which is what helps make a truly great story. Keep it up, and thank you for doing this! :heart:

I :heart: you. Too much to be real. Hell, i've seen quite a few adventures, and i stopped what i was reading to rush to this chapter. Don't worry about keeping us(Well, at elast myself) waiting. It makes me happy this is still going, despite the delays. :twilightsmile:

Many thanks to you and your husband! This is a great story. I make sure to check in at least twice a week to see if it has been updated, but please take your time, this is far too good to rush!
:heart:

Chapter 6 was well worth the wait, if you ask me, so take as much time as you need for Chapter 7. This fic is awesome sauce.

Update this, please?!

33063

I'm working on it. :) But I'm also moving and working, so it's taking a while.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy... did it take so long for this to get on EQD? I didn't even know EotS had a follow up:fluttercry:

126471
Heh. It's not like I hid this, it's been posted right here all along! You just have to click my name to see all the various fics I've written. :) EqD isn't the only way to find new fic, after all.

126658

I blame no one but myself. I am heavily biased toward only reading fics featured on EqD (Other than gore, clop, and obscenely stupid comedy trollfics because they do not host those... usually). Mainly because they tend to be the higher quality fics, also because there are already so many there that I am reading, looking elsewhere for more is redundant.

Ah, so this is still S1 Luna with the small frame and blue mane?

127645
Yeah, this story more or less ignores Season 2. I started writing it before Season 2 began and I don't think it would benefit from my going back and frantically re-writing it every time a new episode changes something.

127653

Understandable. Luna's new look pretty much caught EVERYONE by surprise.
I don't mind really, I like both versions and I'd guess the S1 version is easy to write for.
S2 Luna looks badass but CANTER-LOCK is annoying...

I guess I'll just chalk it up to another alternate dimension.

127653 I like season 1's 'Little Wuna' better than I do season 2's 'Big Luna' now.^_^

Oh, and because I love to share...
I think anyone enjoying both this fic and a taste for "epic" music will appreciate this: http://youtu.be/4XopsFtdaLw

that's awesome. I love this story.

I especially like the explanation of prince blueblood. Makes for good background information. Just one of those details you kind of skip over, but that makes perfect sense. Gives a certain level of depth to a story.

I also love the ship you've thrown in. twilight/luna shipping is rare, but the way you've done it here is interesting. I like it, especially the reluctance on Luna's part and confusion on Twilight's. It pushes this above most shippings(which I normally don't like) in my mind, because you're actually explaining how the relationship came about, not just what happens afterwards.

Well, an amazing piece deserves an attempt at such a response, or frankly, an impromptu rhyme.

So I've read to chapter six
And I can tell you this
It's better than most fanfics
No I'm not taking the piss
Rhyming is just the way I show appreciation
To every creature
And every nation
I cannot wait for the next feature
Of a story told so well and strong
Now please head my call
Please make it enjoyable and long
I promise you, I'll read it all

5/5 and the amount of tension after finishing this is unbearable

I had a huge problem with the 2nd chapter... we already know that the universe they are going to has its own version of twilight, but why would twilight, luna or dale not even consider for a moment to see what twilight was doing it that world? it felt really odd... it felt like the author had forgotten about it or he left it out on purpose for some reason but if thats the case then it just made the characters feel odd (like they ain't to clever), if they could recall to see everyone even luna (nightmare moon) then why would they never want to check up on twilight? so yeah... that REALLY bugged me.

also the whole time travel paradox thing... i would assume (but maybe i have misunderstood) that in therms of multiverse are still at the same plane of existence, meaning that the timezone would be the same and the only difference between all of them are the actions that are taking that change the outcome of said world, so even mentioning the idea of a time travel paradox just felt like filling and pointless babble (at least to me it did).

229632

If you're just here for the ship, you should probably not bother. This *technically* ships them together, and it will be somewhat relevant towards the end, but that's really not what the story is about.

229664 thanks for the warning and for mentioning the other issues ;)

(POSSIBLE) SPOILERS AHEAD!

229664 I just saw this comment, and it poked me right in the part of my brain that speculates wildly about the endings of good stories.

<speculation>

I can see how things could get really hairy for Twilight if Nightmare Alt discovers that Luna's in love with her. I'd imagine it would cut quite badly to know that she killed somepony who could have been her friend, if only she'd rolled over and let herself be defeated like a good little filly. Especially since she's so bitter and isolated that she's making ice sculpture servants. I mean, here she is, the victor in the battle, reigning queen with all the power she ever wanted, but impotent to make other ponies love her. Along comes another version of her who's living proof that if she'd lost, she could have been happy. That's awfully ironic, in every possible sense of the phrase. She'd want to twist that around, to exploit it as a weakness in her alter ego's resolve, to make Luna pay for failing and getting everything that she ever wanted, but now can't possibly have. And that means hurting Twilight Sparkle at any cost.

</speculation>

I'm going to have to reread the first six chapters to see how well my wild guesses line up with what you've told already. In any case, all predictions aside, I'm excited to see what path the story takes. As I've said before, this fic is awesome sauce.

Comment posted by VinylDash deleted Dec 12th, 2016

312259

::quietly passes a stress ball over to VinylDash, puts on some relaxing music::

312701 if my stress ball contains the next few chapters and the ending , i will stop my rage fit
:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

229632 They did, but the focusing spell didn't work. This is explained by Luna - the equivalents of Spike and Twilight are both dead, it's the only way the spell could not work on them.

365034 I can hardly recall this fanfic as I don't read it anymore but I'm fairly sure it was never said that Twilight in that world was dead...

365044

From chapter 2:


Twilight shook her head. "I tried. Just now, I willed it to show me, but it didn't change."

Luna felt a chill. Knowing what she had once intended towards Twilight Sparkle, she had a horrible suspicion. "Try somepony else."




One more, thought Twilight. She sent the spell seeking Spike. But once again it stayed focused on Fluttershy. She swallowed. "What... what does it mean if the spell can't find the person you're sending it after?"

Luna said softly, her voice thick with tears, "It means that they are surrounded by powerful magics or... that they are dead."



Not quite said, but they certainly tried, and the implication is certainly there. That's why I was so surprised when I saw your comment.

229664

I've noticed you haven't been online for nearly three weeks now. I hope that you'll come back soon and let us know if and how the story writing has been progressing. I'd hate to see a "Luna+Twilight in alternate universe" story die, and one with such interesting characterizations of the alternate versions of the Mane 6. This fanfic was what got me reading on this website in the first place, so I eagerly await news on it!

377948
It's not dead, I just can't really force me editor to work when he's busy, so... it's on hold until he has time to finish the latest chapter. Sorry!

378285

Thanks for the quick reply! I was worried for a while that you'd disappeared off the face of the planet. Good to see you're still around, though, and that the story is still under works and not abandoned. No need to feel bad about the delay, I'll gladly wait patiently until the next chapter is released!

Well, this fic has certainly been a rollercoaster of emotions. I came here for the Valdemar Companions, but stayed for the Nightmare Moon AU. Awesome to hear you haven't given up on us, and I can only see more awesomeness to come!:pinkiehappy:

Also, I was stunned by the end of last chapter, but on further thought, I'm glad she acted that way. She's the Element of Loyalty, after all, so it's good to see she hasn't lost her touch.

378285
This chapter was released in January.
It is May.
Could you possibly put up another chapter. :fluttercry:
Well, that is, if you wouldn't mind; I wouldn't want to force you or anything.

Still; best "what if NM won." EVER!

631509
I'll post it when it's done. No I don't know when that is. No, asking me will not make it happen any faster.

631521 Yay! You're not dead yet!

I understand that asking you when the next chapter will come out won't make it happen any sooner. However, in the last status update you gave us, you told us that the next chapter had been sent off for editing and would be released once the two of you had finished working on it. Surely, something unexpected must have happened to keep you and/or your partner busy during this time. Could you fill us in on what's been keeping you busy for the past few months? I don't know about everyone else, but I'd feel less impatient about the "when" if you filled us in about the "why".

654622

There is no "why." There is no life emergency and no special excuse and nothing except me editor hasn't done it. This is a hobby. We do it for fun. I'm not going to force him to do it when he doesn't feel like it, that would negate the "fun" part. :) So it's just going to happen when it happens.

If you're really all that bothered by this particular one not updating, you can go bug the editor, he's on the site as Jordanis. :scootangel: Bugging me accomplishes nothing at all, I have the next two chapters written, I've sort of done all I can do about!

654703 Well...at least you're honest, and I appreciate that. Just so long as you don't forget about us, and keep being honest with us, I'll be happy.

i have a question regarding how things work in your story. as you may be able to see; I've only reached the end of chapter 2, so the answers may be further ahead, but i'll ask anyway:
in your world, does any mortal stand a chance against an immortal, like NMM for example. i mean; could twi (as an example and being the strongest mortal magician), in theory, fight against celestia, NMM or luna on equal ground? and follow up question on this; is twi 'really' capable of fighting anything at all, meaning; does she have both the knowledge and mentality to even be able to?

672099
Twi stood up to NMM in the canon cartoon, so of course she has the mentality to do so in this story too. :) As far as capabilities, under normal circumstances a normal unicorn isn't as powerful as an alicorn, so Twi alone would lose against any of them, but there are always abnormal circumstances to take into consideration. See again the canon cartoon, right there in episode 2 of season 1 where Twi wins against NMM. :)

read up to date now, definitely love this story, cant wait for more!:pinkiehappy:

672816
okay thx for the info!:pinkiehappy: im a bit of a twi-fanatic, especially when there is potential magic combat involved; then im always interested how much of chance twi stands against the alicorns. to be perfectly honest i prefer it when she is a huge exception to normal ponies and can actually mostly stand up to alicorns in combat thanks to her ingenuity and her own incredible magic potential (not just of the bat of course, but with experience and training), i don't enjoy a story less if that's not the case though, it's more like a definite plus; especially when it's a combat heavy fic (which im not claiming your story is). what can really demolish a story for me is if she's cowardly or pathetic (hence the question of mentality).

dont really know why i decided to write that down, but there it is anyways! :twilightblush:

*Fluttershy sad face* Update please

This was the first fanfic I got into. I hope you find the time to finish some day.

Just for the record, this is a stupid plan. If they brought the other Element Bearers, they could just pop in, maybe sneak past or knock out some guards, blast NMM, and proceed to cleanup. This way, they get to spend a while sneaking all over Equestria, freeing ponies from under NMM's iron hoof while desperately hoping not to get noticed before they're ready and praying that a year of living in an environment of constant soul-crushing despair hasn't impaired their ability to represent their Elements or bond with a complete stranger. And we're doing things the hard way because Twilight is afraid that her friends will hate her because thee exists an alternate universe where she made a mistake? If I didn't know better, I'd say Twilight, Luna, and Dale are all suicidal and Celestia is happy to help, with them all agreeing to this plan.

I maintain that this is a bad plan. Even the allies who don't make Pinkie swear are not going to be genre-savvy (or perhaps I should just say fiction-savvy) and will probably not rediscover their Elements so easily.

And while I agree with Pinkie that you do not go from grim-dark to happy-fluffy in just one page, nevertheless I saw it happen once and it was awesome. Granted, it reverted later, but never all the way. I highly recommend The Immortal Game; it was a very rare truly perfect moment when . . . you'll know the bit I mean when you read it.

Comment posted by Nightgazer deleted May 21st, 2013
Comment posted by SPark deleted May 21st, 2013

let me just say this before I read, you just don't fuck with another universe it could create horrible side effects in not just your universe or the one your visiting, but almost every universe.

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