Nothing But the Tooth
Granny Smith was an old, old mare.
This went without saying, in the sense that if you did say it, you’d get clipped around the ear. But every year it grew harder to ignore that Granny had outlived all of her siblings, many of her cousins, and a good number of her children. (Anypony who believed Bright Macintosh was her only foal was welcome to browse some of the fine offers at Flimflam Brothers Realty.) And even among the Apples, who saw a hundredth birthday as a sign to think about limiting one’s workday to a mere fourteen hours, she seemed awfully spry for a mare her age.
Some said it was the zap apples, the infamously demanding fruit preserving the one mare who knew how to properly preserve them. Some suspected Celestia, Granny’s longevity being but one part of an unfathomably intricate plot to restore Luna that only looked like coincidence and providence. Some just shrugged; Granny wasn’t the only gracefully aging never-you-mind-year-old in Equestria, even if she was in an increasingly rare cohort.
Whatever their thoughts on the matter, everypony agreed that it definitely wasn’t because Granny was a witch.
That was not to say that witchcraft was frowned upon in Equestria in and of itself. Certain big city unicorns might sniff disdainfully at more down-home forms of applied magic, but hedge mages, storm shamans, seed whisperers, and other ancient mystical traditions thrived throughout the land. They just did it far from academia, which was largely dominated by formally educated unicorns whose unicorn-provided formal education taught them that anypony who wasn’t a formally educated unicorn was superstitious at best and a charlatan at worst. And many had unfortunate reactions to any inconvenient parts of reality that might put that education into question.
As such, Granny Smith definitely wasn’t a witch. Though if she were a witch, she’d be a damn good one. And definitely smart enough not to do anything obvious when Twilight Sparkle or her student were watching.
Granted, every pony has her blind spots, and an Apple’s is as obvious as the central theme of her cutie mark.
“You’ve never heard of the Tooth Breezie?” If the Crusaders' clubhouse had glass in the windows, Sweetie Belle's cry would've shattered them
As it was, Apple Bloom just shook her head as she waited for the ringing in her ears to fade. “Nope.”
“Weird," said Scootaloo. "I thought your family had at least five folksy legends about everything.”
Apple Bloom scrunched her muzzle, opened her mouth, and after a few moments of thought, gave a grudging nod. “Okay, yeah, it does feel like that some days. But I ain’t never heard o’ no Tooth Breezie." She gestured towards Ponyville. "Y’all saw ‘em back when they were goin’ through town. I ain’t sure how a breezie’d even lift that thing.”
“That thing” was Scootaloo’s last foal tooth, a chunk of enamel that barely fit in her frog. (Even with magic accelerating evolution, pony teeth had yet to catch up to ponies’ modern, less abrasive diet.) “It’s just Auntie Lofty giving me a bit, but it makes her and Aunt Holiday happy." Her fond, loving smile went off-kilter. "Besides, it’s a free bit.”
Sweetie scowled. “Way to ruin the magic of foalhood.”
“We’ve been through foalhood," Scootaloo shot back. "What magic?”
That got a roll of the eyes before Sweetie turned back to Apple Bloom. “So what do you do with your foal teeth if you don't put them under your pillow?”
“Give ‘em t’ Granny," she said matter-of-factly. "She always says she’ll do what needs doin’ with ‘em.”
The other Crusaders shared an uncertain look. After an uncomfortable pause, Scootaloo grimaced and said, “What needs doing?”
Apple Bloom shrugged. “That’s for Granny t’ worry about.”
Granny pushed a few foal teeth across the kitchen table. “That’s the last o’ Bloomie’s, I’m afraid.”
“Ah. Shame." The minotauroid creature, crown of fangs nearly touching the ceiling even while seated, picked one up with surprising delicacy for a being with so many sharp points. It rolled the tooth in a palm tiled with incisors. Beneath the constant clacking and absence of lips, its voice was a smooth, unaccented baritone. "You’ve had wonderful ones to offer since that new dentist came into town.”
Granny nodded. “Fine work. ‘Course, I ain’t made many appointments for m’self.” She grinned, letting her false teeth rattle just a touch in her mouth.
The creature chuckled, bits of its yellow-white exterior smacking together like so many rattling dice. “Oh, by all means, do so. It would be wonderful to know a fellow professional got to see my handiwork.”
“Bah. I ain’t spent this long just to show off t’ some unicorn an’ her fancy Canterlot degree." Granny rubbed her forehooves together. "Now we doin’ business or what?”
If it were possible for a being made of teeth to smile wider, it did so. “Of course.”
There really is a Tooth Breezie. Her reasons are her own, as inscrutable as those of any fae creature, but she visits each foal only once and leaves nothing tangible in return.
The Tooth Devil, however, not only accepts teeth for money, but also the opposite, and many other exchanges besides.
You don’t have to be a witch to deal with him, but it helps.
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So, if other exchanges are possible, then Granny's deals might not end here... Hmm...
Flipping myths and stuff, and then expanding on them! Cool!
She could handle it After Pinkie Pie.
...Imagine if Twilight tried to study Granny Weatherwax. Nanny Ogg would probably mess with her too...
Personally, I have Granny Smith penciled in as too old to still be alive, successfully fending off the Pale Mare basically whenever nopony else is looking... then said Pale Mare loses her job to Rainbow Dash. There's a chapter break between the latter happening and the reveal of the former, right after this teaser that's an obtuse reference to RWBY:
So he's the Tooth Child's dad?
Hmm... assuming that Aunt Orange and Uncle Orange's titles are not figurative or honorary, and assuming that Buttercup was cut off from her entire family when she married Bright Mac, then one of those two ponies with orange-themed cutie marks is Granny Smith's child. Is that considered teenage rebellion in the Apple family?
11226407
At that point we were speaking more about aristocracy is general than specific to your story. The MLP universe is in general, a kinder, gentler place than our own world and it's hard to see how even the worst of Canterlot nobility could hold a candle to pue own. I've been adverse to the idea of Twilight having nobility connections because I generally dislike the concept of nobility and find it rather antithetical to the notions of friendship, communication, cooperation and harmony in principle. But that's not to say it can't be written well or that a sufficiently well written story that involves that particular canon can't be good. Or even that everyone need share that disquiet.
That conversation does go back and forth a little.
Personally, I rather like the idea that Cadance was her foalsitter because as an Alicorn, she had the magical reserves to contain Twilight in the event she lost control of her magic. As much as for everyone elses safety as anything. And that Shining armour was raised from the ranks Sharpe style rather than being commissioned and officer.
Plus, I can imagine the newly ascended Cadance as being the kind of teenager who'd ask Celestia for something to *do* to feel like she wasnt a figurehead.
11226412
It's worth mentioning that Twilight didn't start embracing friendship until she was sent away from the primary seat of nobility. That sure sounds like a clear message of her being a good pony despite her peerage rather than because of it...
11226290
They could be children of Granny's sisters or brothers: that would technically be Applejack's cousins once removed, but they're often referred to aunts and uncles if they are old enough.
Well. That's not unsettling at all.
"getting flashbacks from that one show that brought Creepypastas to life, the one with the tooth golem and the television show that didn't exist; I think it was Season 1"
11225723
Yeah, this was definitely one of the more intriguing prompts out of the bunch.
11225734
As we discussed in Estee's Discord sever, one can do a lot between Lancrastian witches and Apple elders. And any curious purple mares who want to study witchcraft.
11225737
Huh. I wonder what kind of oppression and resulting uprising made noun phrases so important to the populous.
11226105
It's certainly possible! I'd never seen the Tooth Child before and hope to never do so again.
11226290
It may be the orchard clan equivalent of rumspringa; young ponies are allowed to explore other crops and see what, if anything, speaks to them on a mark-deep level. (That may even be why Applejack went to Manehattan.) Presumably most ponies stay with the crop they grew up with... or there's enough cross-pollination that juice is thicker than blood.
11226671
(Pinkie also definitely isn't a witch. Pinkie definitely isn't a lot of things, really.)
11226895
Whoops. Sorry. I'm poorly versed in creepypastas, so any resemblance or flashbacks to them are purely coincidental.
For what it's worth, I was exclusively referring to Ozpin and various spoilers thereof.