• Published 26th Feb 2022
  • 1,935 Views, 144 Comments

Wish Fulfillment - Boopy Doopy

Rally saw an advertisement for a spellcaster listed, so she decided to have some fun and asked to be turned into a pony in Equestria. She got what she asked for, but not what she wanted.

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(20) Good Time Living

The castle of the Crystal Empire didn’t look the same as it did in the show. It was still made of crystal, but looked more like an incredibly large mansion than it did a castle. I didn’t know how big it was exactly, but it had to be at least as big as a high school campus. It semed as tall as a skyscraper, and was topped off with a little tower and a flag, one with a white cross against a baby blue background. It looked intimidating.

We were stopped before we could get anywhere near it, a couple of pegasi guards making us halt in front of the gate that surrounded the thing.

“The castle grounds are closed to visitors at this time of night,” one of them said, holding a spear in hoof with a gold plated helmet on his face. “It’ll be open again at sunrise.”

“We just need to know where a place we can sleep is at,” Shorey said. We needed a lot more than that, though. I needed a lot more than that.

“Is there a homeless shelter anywhere around here we can stay at?” Moberly had a look on her face like she despised the idea of staying there.

“You three look like Equestrian ponies,” the other pegasus said. “The shelter is only available to citizens of the Crystal Empire.”

I rolled my eyes, not the least bit surprised. Of course it wasn’t available to us. Because nothing could ever be easy. It made sense though, what with Luna being reluctant to help me and Rusty Bucket saying that these people were sticklers for the law. I just wished that they weren’t.

“Besides, it looks like you three need a hospital more than anything,” the first one said. “What happened to you?”

Shorey and Moberly both looked at me, but I stayed silent. I was still too upset to speak.

“We were attacked by timberwolves,” Shorey said after a few seconds of waiting for me to offer something. “I don’t know how many of them, but it was a pack.”

“In the Crystal Forest?” She nodded, and the guard asked, “What were you three doing out there?”

“Our friend got lost, and we were looking for her,” Shorey explained, not really a lie. “If we can, we’d like a place to sleep for the night, but a hospital would be great, too.”

“There’s one a dozen or so blocks from here,” one of the guards said, pointing a hoof in the direction we should go. “It’s off of Sunrise Avenue and Crystal Road. You can’t miss it.”

“You should know though that only citizens of the empire get free hospital services.”

“We understand, thank you.”

It wasn’t very long before we stepped up to the hospital, the place looking more modern than I expected. There wasn’t any electricity, but it was more like a normal US hospital than it was what I remembered Ponyville General being. And just like the US, we were gonna have to pay to be here.

“Can we lie and say we’re from the Crystal Empire so we don’t have to pay?” I asked.

“It’s so self evident that we’re not that it’s ridiculous to even consider, Rally.” I didn’t know why that comment in particular set me off, but it did.

“You don’t need to be fucking rude about it. I was just asking a question.”

“It’s hard to not be rude when you’ve been acting like a jerk and being testy.”

“How am I acting like a jerk?”

“By being argumentative and telling people things I asked you not to tell them.”

“How in the world am I being argumentative?” I asked, completely surprised by the accusation.

“Maybe for starters saying that I asked to be a mare when I said I didn’t,” Moberly jumped in. “That seems argumentative to me.”

“I asked a question. Excuse me for being curious. When you smile when I call you a mare, how do you expect me to take that?”

“Yeah, well, just because I smile, doesn’t mean it’s okay to poke at that and tease me.”

“Oh, yeah, one little bit of teasing means I’m entirely in the wrong. I completely deserve that fucking comment you sent back to me. Fuck me, I guess. I probably deserve to hate myself, too, since I tried to joke with Lord Zulu, don’t I?”

“No one’s saying you deserve what happened, but it’s still not okay to act like a jerk. I don’t have unlimited patience to hear you argue and snap at me when I tell you what the best thing to do is. Over and over again. You’ve been acting like this since we woke up this afternoon.”

“Then don’t keep saying I’m not bothering you when I ask if I am! You said all night and all afternoon that I’m not bothering you, and yet you still act fucking rude!” A couple of ponies walked past us, staring at us the entire time as they made their way in. We were causing a scene.

“And I don’t want to do this in front of the hospital,” I grumbled as I stomped in, resting my flank in the first chair I could find. It felt like I had my bare butt against it, and was uncomfortable against my torn off tail and ripped fur, but I didn’t care. I only crossed my hooves and stared ahead as Shorey sighed and shook her head, she and Moberly heading inside, too.

I let both her and Moberly talk to the receptionist before the former came back with a clipboard in her maw and sat down next to me. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to look at either of them.

“I’m gonna put my name down as Sandy Shores,” she said after a while of me listening to her write slowly. “Do you have a name you want to go by, Rally?”


“Rally Up sounds like a pony name,” Moberly offered. “Or Music Rally, since you have a piano as a cutie mark.”

“I’m fine. My name is Rally,” I said. “If you want, you can put down ‘Raleigh Leanne Woods’.”

“Come on, don’t be like that, Rally.”

“Be like what?” I asked, opening my eyes again. My voice cracked and my lip quivered as I said it. I could feel the wetness in my eyes build up, but no tears came. I still couldn’t cry. I was close, but I couldn’t get over the hump. It was frustrating.

“I know I’m bugging you, and I’m sorry, but don’t tell me I’m acting like a jerk when I’m not intentionally trying to annoy you and you tell me over and over that I’m not bothering you. Just say that I’m bugging you and I’ll stop whatever I’m doing.”

I wanted to cry so badly, but after a few seconds of no tears coming, buried my head in my hooves.

I didn’t know if being a stallion was making me anxious about things like this, but I didn’t remember feeling like I was such a bother in a long time. I’d gotten over that stage in my life years ago. Right now though, I felt like I’d done nothing but annoy Shorey the entire time she’d been here and she was just too nice to say so.

I was such a basket case. A melodramatic fool.

I kept my head in my hooves until Shorey tapped my shoulder a while later for the doctor to see us. It was a crystal pony (who’d’ve guessed?) without a horn or wings, one who wore glasses and had a deep brown mane cut in the same style as mine. He had a bright smile on his face until the moment he saw us, switching to a frown in a second.

“Oh. Equestrians. How can I help you?” He rolled his eyes as he said it, sounding like it was the very last thing he wanted to do.

Yup. He was racist. Was I surprised at all? No. I was glad he let us know it up front though. It meant I could be more careful and make sure he didn’t try to stick us with something.

“We were attacked by timberwolves,” Shorey explained, turning to the side to show her cut and pointing at my flank. “We’ve been out there for days and just got to the city now.”

“Huh. Looks bad,” he said, bending closer to take a look, first at Shorey, then at me. I had to take a breath and force myself not to shiver. Even if he was a doctor and I looked like a stallion, I didn’t want men staring at my butt.

“Your tail’s almost completely gone,” he commented. “Can’t say I’m surprised though. With the way you ponies act, I’m surprised I don’t see it more often.”

“Do you have something against Equestrians?” I dared to ask.

“No, of course not,” he replied. “I just find it annoying that you all are the reason why we have to deal with the likes of Discord and the changelings and Tirek.” He went to a drawer to grab something as he muttered, “Unbelievable that an Equestrian Princess is ruling the Crystal Empire after another one caused King Sombra to curse our land for a thousand years. We’re basically a puppet state.”

That was interesting to hear. I could see how ponies might be upset thinking that. It didn’t make it any less annoying to deal with though, or any less racist.

“Anyway,” he continued, getting out a couple of bottles of pills, “your wound’s infected. Both of yours. Take these for a month and come back if you have any problems.”

“You’re not gonna stitch us up or something?” I asked.

“Do you have money for me to stitch you up? No? Then antibiotics are all you get.”

“Come on, can’t you give us a bill we can pay later?” Shorey asked.

“Nope. You’re free to go now.”

I shook my head as we walked out. I was glad we got something, even if it wasn’t much. I wished ponies would help us more though. This was not shaping up to be the Equestria we knew.

“Out that fast?” Moberly asked as she used a hoof to rub her horn. “You both look exactly the same.”

“Turns out those guards weren’t lying when they said we had to pay to get taken care of,” I explained as she got up and joined us. “Seems like we didn’t go to Equestria. What actually happened was the entirety of the United States was transported here.”

Shorey gave me a look that said I should shut up as she added, “We asked him to send us a bill, but he wouldn’t have it. He did give us medicine to take though. Antibiotics.”

“And he was only a little bit racist,” I finished. Shorey gave me another look at that comment, once again silently telling me to be quiet.

“Sorry,” I sighed. “I’ll stop acting like a bitch about all of this.”

“You’re fine, Rally,” she said, sounding a bit exasperated.

“Can you not say that when I’m not fine?” I asked. “Don’t say I’m fine if I’m annoying you, please?”

“You’re not annoying me,” she lied. “Just… let’s not talk about things like that in public?”

“Okay, I won’t,” I assured her. “And please, please just let me know if I’m ever bothering you? I don’t want to make you upset, either of you.”

“I will. Anyway, let’s find somewhere to sleep for the night,” she said. “I don’t know how long you’ve been awake, Moberly, but Rally and I have been up for about two days straight, and I don’t think it’s helped either of our moods.”

“I can stay up all night,” she said. “I actually woke up a few hours ago. But I’ll sleep whenever you two do if it means syncing up our schedules.

“Well then let’s find something.”