Alternate ending
This is for all you whiny twats that didn't want Discord to be forgiven.
______________________________________________________
Alternate ending
"You would have me skin my friends," Discord asked the smoke creature.
"Of course, remember how much we loved the sssweet sound".
"Sounds like a plan to me Discord cheered", taking his smoke replica by the hand.
Discord woke up, in the distance fire raged, black clouds swirled overhead.Ponies were staring at him in horror,through the protective shield.Discord felt incredible power surge through him, oh how he had missed the feeling of pure chaos magic, running through his veins.He stood up, cracked his neck, and dissolved the shield with a snap of his claw.
Luna immediately charged at him.
"This time I shall finish, you she cried"
Discord knocked her aside with a wave of his hand, sending Luna crashing into a nearby building."You should have learned to trust me", he growled.He noticed that his voice had changed, it now sounded like two voices were speaking at once.
He turned to the six ponies who had been so kind to him, each of them looked terrified.
You have shown me kindness, for that you shall be spared.With a snap of his claw, they vanished.
Discord turned to the crowd of ponies watching him, WELL ISN'T THIS WHAT YOU WERE EXPECTING, he roared.He snapped again, causing the pony nearest to him to burst into flames.The crowd screamed and ran in every direction, in an attempt to escape.
Discord followed casually behind them, picking up pony after pony, using his telekinesis to rip the flesh from their bodies.
As he held another pony in his psychic grasp, Discord felt something hit him in the back.He turned to face his attacker, it was Princess Luna, standing defiantly."This ends now monster", oh I'm afraid its just beginning, he chuckled.She fired a blast of magic, which passed through him harmlessly.With a snap of his claw, her horn disappeared, she backed away in terror.
"Now how long was I trapped in stone, 2000 years I believe it was, so now you're going to spend the next 2000 years in a dimension of pure pain, doesn't that sound fun". "Oh and I'll give your regards to Celestia when I destroy her".With a snap of his claw Luna vanished."Well that was far too easy, maybe I'll finish off Diamond Tiara, he thought excitedly.Buildings burst into flames around his, as he strolled casually in the direction of Ponyville hospital.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- FlutterDash979797 · 21k words · 56 4 · 2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.095 seconds
Total duration
1,043 users online
1,552,619 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Woahw, that was brutal?..
1330539 No I got the point. There can be fighting without dying. There's a fight between Discord and Luna. Discord purely in self defense, and pinkie gets very defensive. You could easily make this ending the same, but with more in it. Luna forgives Discord, The elements forgive Discord, and pinkie pie makes cupcakes with Discord. I don't want any pony to die, and the scenario I just gave you gives same ending with a more dramatic effect. And where was Celestia during this???
1331459 Are you not satisfied with the alternate ending I wrote? Also if your wondering where Celestia is, I could write a second alternate ending, where Discord kills her as well.Is that what you want?
1334168 I didn't want anypony to die...
I feel like you are completely missing my point...I simply stated that you could have gotten the same ending by adding a few more things to juice it up...
1334382 I ended the story the way I wanted to.I wanted Discord to be accepted and become a good guy, and that's exactly how its going to stay. You could write your own ending if you want.
1334444...I have no problem that you ended it with him becoming a good guy. I wanted him to be a good guy too. What I was saying, is that he can still become the good guy, but I feel like it ended too suddenly. It's your story. But if you would like I could show you what I was meaning by it. I would still be using your ending, but it would have more added in there. It just ended too suddenly.
1334473 Yes please show me, and if I like what you write can i add it to the story?
1334574Sure if you like it.
1335986 Just think of Discord, but with dragon claws, and colored like lord monochromicorn from Adventure time.
Before I read this, is it Celestia X Discord or Discord X Derpy?
The picture and the characters are confusing me.
1341465 Discord is not shipped with Celestia or Derpy.But please read it anyway.
1341824
Okay. I will!
jacob this story is pathetic try harder next time
1420609your a whimp
1341824your a pathetic whimp ('
');
1420929 lick me evil-lovieness
1420955?
1420959 Okay question time.... Just how am I a wimp? And what do you mean by like you? What'd I do?
i love lamp
1429632 because you a fag
1464894 Again I ask... What did I do? What could I have possibly have said that causes you to be a hater? Also I'm a girl, so how can I be a "fag"?
Seriously? That made me almost consider a down-vote. I am definitely not okay with the attitude shown by both some comments and the author himself alike. Treat one another with hospitality, kindness and respect - and if you can't do that, just keep your mouth shut and your fingers still.
As for the story itself.
Until "a fork in the road", I felt content with the story so far. It was fast-paced, but didn't feel rushed. There could've been far more, sure, but I enjoyed what was given without complaint about what may was missing. Sadly, the last chapter turned that around. While I do like the scene you tried to convey, that act indeed was rushed. Dialogue, thoughts, feelings, surroundings. Not only could you have shown a lot more - you should've. As it is now, I have to agree that the townsfolk, including the mane six, and Luna are way to forgiving. There should've been a slower, better explained/shown transition towards his redemption.
Two other nitpicks: He paid the Cakes to leave Sugarcube Corner - where did he get the bits from? And Diamond Tiara left Ponyville with his father. So Discord consciously destroyed her friendship with Silver Spoon for no good reason? And to add to that, Filthy Rich is one of the biggest business-partners for Sweet Apple Acres, so he potentially ruined the Apple-family as well?
Last thing. There are still a lot of mistakes scattered throughout the story. Another editing could work wonders.
Until that last chapter, I pondered the idea of putting this story to my favorites. I won't. And until the comment-section of that last chapter, I tried to decide whether I give an up-vote or not. I won't. It's not about the mistakes or the rushed last chapter, sadly. I would've preferred to give my opinion and decision based on my thoughts about the story itself - but I just can't. Those harsh words flying around, thrown from both sides, writer and readers alike, just soured the whole experience for me.
I won't down-vote this ether. But I want to express that even if this story could've been entertaining, I'm just left with a lot of disappointment.