Diary of a Young Griff

by Isuvyw

XII: Entries 43 to 46

26^th of Eastermonth

Today was great Eabha. Just great, yeah.

First of all, I regret being nice to Gravel. He has one of the most nwil attitudes I’ve ever seen. He woke up late today, which would have been fine, since its his first day in this hell of a boiler room – but he complained about it like a fledgeling! For the whole day! All the work he did today was complain, and complain, and complain.

Secondly, miss Hawkrose was in a bad mood and scolded I and Sven for absolutely nothing. As if we are her stress toys. If she gets her bad moods, she will scold anything just to let it out. She has scolded the workers, scolded Miss Penny, and even scolded her chair one time. Goodness, is she turning mad or what?

Thirdly, I’m in a horrible mood. I’m sorry Eabha, I don’t feel like talking normal things to you, at least not now. I need to rest. Goodnight.

***

27^th of Eastermonth

Hej Eva. I will try to skrif as fast as I am able, because I don’t want Gravel to sneak behind me.

I believed he was a nice griffon when he was put in here. But nei, I was wrong. He is mean griffon. He doesn’t like to copera cooperate with Matilda or me, and he likes to make fun of me. He likes to sit in the corner and talk about how he doesn’t like boiler work, or how unlucky he is.

His luck can kiss my flank. I dare say, “In mitit pig.” I believe you can understand what that means, because it would look very foul if I skrif it. I think Matilda likes to say something like it in her tongue as well.

Gravel likes to sulk and whine like a lazy sheep. I should like to shear off all his feathers, and expose his bare flesh, so that he would be ashamed of himself. He appears of similar age to Matilda, so he should know how to take care of himself and his lifan. If Matilda is able then he is able as well. He truly is gravel if he continues like he is.

I’m worried for Matilda. She looks ok now, I’m glad she is not sick anymore. But I know she is not fine. She likes to say, “I am fine,” but that is not true, I know. How can one who cries in her sleep and wakes with haunting dreams say she is fine? I am awake sometimes, and I see her suddenly wake up with a silent scream of fear. Something has happened to her, and I begin to fear much that it is something deep and dark. Maybe that is why she is not willing to tell me.

I want to help. I want to comfort her, and tell her it is alright. Her burden is too heavy to bear alone. I want to bear it together, with her, if only she will let me.

Eva, make sure she sees this skrifan when she opens you again. She needs to know that I’m her little brother who will help her with anything she needs.

Goodnight.

***

29^th of Eastermonth

Hej Eva.

Yesterday was rough. Miss Hawkrose came down because the wasteponies complained about Gravel. She scolded him for being lazy, which he deserves, but then she scolded Matilda because she should be watching over him. Matilda cried a lot yesterday. She has been injured too much with miss Hawkrose’s words.

But you know what’s worse? Gravel called her a weakling. I want to stick up a burning cinder up his pig, till his dung gets fried within.

Matilda became furious, so furious that she cried more tears. She was very thirsty for water today because she cried so much of it through her eyes. What can get worse?

I wish there would be somepony who would watch over us.

I feel so weak. So tired. And I hate this life. Gravel makes it worse. All he does is complain, be rude, and get angry. He’s very proud. He thinks that he should be higher than us, that he is better than us. I know because he talks like that when he complains. Matilda once told me that griffons were greedy and proud. Well, Gravel is certainly one of them. He takes most of the food. If we have six potatoes, he will try to take three or four. If we have eight slices of bread, he will try to take one or two more from us. He does not ask nicely. He just sticks out his claws and waves. Matilda always says no, but he will then snatch it out of her claws.

We are both sick of him. He thinks he is a prince, and we are his serv slaves. One day, I am going to put his pig back in its right place.

Goodnight, Eva.

***

5^th of Blossommonth

I have not skrifedd for some days. Much has happened Eva, so much that I don’t know how to skrif this. I don’t want to tell you things that drive deep the nails in my heart, and things that kill a pony’s spirit. But alas, such has happened. And it happened to Matilda.

On the day after my last skrifan to you, Gravel was complaining as usual. He was being rude actually. He had been rude for the past few days since he came to this boiler room.

That day, he spoke rude and foul things to the two of us, but we didn’t care. Gravel began to use more dirtier words, and it was becoming unbearable to us. However, he didn’t care and continued talking with that foul mouth of his.

Then he called Matilda a griffon worth only whoredom. He said how her body was fit only for the bed. And how her charms are useful only for seduksion seduction. He talked about how female griffons are always demanding for this and that, and how they thrust all their responsibilities onto the male griffs.

I have never seen Matilda turn to fire before. I have seen her become angry, furious. But this time, I saw her turn into a fire that was fueled by the things she must have kept inside her heart. I think that she didn’t care about anything, not even me, when she heard those words. She just turned into a beast.

She slashed her claws at him. Ripped out some of his feathers and scarred his flesh. She bit on him in various places. She released all her torment into this scum. She flared her wings and screamed and cried. I don’t know what the monster has been tormenting her with, but it was very horrible.

She cried out loud. So loud that miss Hawkrose had to come. She asked what had happened, but Matilda couldn’t answer because she was crying so much. Gravel took his chance and blamed her. He lied. He lied, that bastard! The scum dared to lie.

Miss Hawkrose took out her whip, but Matilda didn’t move. I think she did not care. Whatever that tormented her must have made her like this. She didn’t answer miss Hawkrose anything, but just kept crying.

Miss Hawkrose whipped harder this time. Matilda’s back feathers were not only the ones ripped out by the harsh whip. Her flesh became scarred. Then ripped. Her wings also. But she didn’t care. All that pain in her heart must have been greater than the pain of this whip. When miss Hawkrose finished, and she was angry and tired. She called Matilda an untamable beast, and said there was no hope for her. She screamed at her for all the trouble she caused her. She then told me to stay away from her, and not to care for her. I said no. I wont leave my sister alone. Miss Hawkrose whipped me as well, hard enough for blood to stain my back and her whip. She seems to enjoy hitting with her whip.

My heart aches, more so for Matilda. Miss Hawkrose left of course, and I don’t think she would come again because she hates us now. It's better then. I don’t have to see that drekka, that monster again. I should start calling her that.

Gravel didn’t say anything. I didn’t see him after that. I think he went to a corner to hide from us. I didn’t care.

The night before yesterday, I saw him crying. I actually didn’t want to turn and look at him, but I heard him sucking his nose in and covering himself in his wings. I thought he was being sorry for himself, because of his injuries that Matilda gave. He deserves it anyway.

He said very quietly that he was horrible. I shouted at him because he now only wanted to say sorry. What scum says sorry after?

He tried to say sorry. I looked at his eyes. Not a lot of pride in them. And they seemed to be dark and hurt. I asked him why he would say sorry, especially since he was scum and nothing more.

He said that he “suddenly” felt disgusting when he saw miss Hawkrose "the monster" whip us until we had blood coming out from us. I guess he had never seen blood before. I wonder whether he even is truthful, since he lied to miss Hawkrose. Well, let me see if scum can turn into gold after a few days.

But this is not the worst that Matilda has been put through. No, Eva, she suffered more. She suffered something so horrible that my hoof is shaking. My heart is so painful, like as if a knife is turning inside my heart.

I sat with Matilda and hugged her as hard as I could. She is so broken. As broken as wood is when it is burned. Her spirit since then was like ash. No life nor warmth.

***

She said sorry to me a lot. I said she didn’t need to, but she said that she had to. Because she didn’t tell me something. I knew it is the thing that has been disturbing her for the past month.

It is so painful to hear, and even more so to write. How can I write such a cursed thing?

Matilda said that she went to the toilet one night, almost a month ago. I was sleeping. She said it was dark, but she knew the place well, so she was not worried. But then, somepony came up to her. She couldn’t see who he was. She said it was a he, because what he did to her after that was something only a male pony would. One that was empty of morals, that is.

She was crying hard when she told me this. He pushed her against the wall and said, in very plain words, that he wanted to sleep with her. She did not get to answer no, because a few of his friends came up and held her tightly. One of them held her mouth, somehow, in a way that she couldn’t cry for help. They brought her to the storage where we keep tools. They pushed her to the ground, but she tried to fly as quickly as possible. They locked the door and took some of the rope in the room and tied her, so she could not move.

Then they spent the night doing to her all that they wanted. All that thye they wanted. ALL THAT THEY WAT WANTED! THE SCUM AND DIRT, THEY ALL DID TO HER! I WANT TO SEE THEM BURN IN THE FURNC FURNACE!! IN TARTURUS!! I WANT THEM TO DIE! DIE! DIE! I WANT THEM TO GO TO A PLACE DARKER THAN TARTARUS!! I WANT TO

***

Author's Note:

This took some time to write, because I'm not so confident in building up something as mind-blowing and tragic this is. But I tried my best, and here is the chapter.

Also, I am not a health professional or psychologist. I am just a writer trying to convey Matilda's turbulent emotions after being abused.

All is not lost. Stay tuned for the next chapter!

Comments

[Isuvyw]

11178388
Thank you! Glad to see you're enjoying it!

[J-90]

Wow, that certainly took grim turn there... Here's hoping that KARMA will hit those bstards HARD...

[Alaborn]

Are you going to finally add the Dark tag?

[Isuvyw]

11180466
Hmm, not sure about that. It's rated T tho.

[Alaborn]

11180472
T rating can mean many things, but Dark seems appropriate for a story with themes of slavery, torture, and now rape.

[Dashie04]

That escalated quickly.

I’m now wondering if Gravel had anything to do with sexually abusing Matilda. It would explain his comment about her being a whore, though that might also be normal misogyny and bullying in the first place.

[Scyphi]

He thinks that he should be higher than us, that he is better than us.

If that were true, then I'd think Gravel wouldn't be here at all, so either his supposed class stature is greatly exaggerated--which would seem in line with what we know of his character thus far--or he did something to have all that stature be ripped away from him and he's just in denial still.

I'm thinking the former.

Either way, guy needs to get over himself or else he's probably not going to last long. Particularly if he loses Matilda and Sven as his buffer between himself and Hawkrose, because if that happens, guess who's probably going to get all of Hawkrose's wrath then?

He said, very quietly, that he was horrible.

Yeah, this isn't really in debate right now, Gravel.

That said, even horrible people can change to become better. Let's hope Gravel wises up to that sooner before it's too late, and something happens that can't be taken back.

As for Matilda...I wish I could say I was surprised, but given circumstances, I had figured that was the cause of her juvadrekka, as Sven would put it, some chapters back. I hadn't said anything though, hoping I'd be proven wrong......phooey.

11180448
Well there is that ongoing problem with that mystery pipe...I'm pretty sure that's foretelling of a much more critical problem with the boiler brewing, and those can end explosively, so maybe these [insert fitting descriptor of choice here] will happen to be close by when it happens.

11180606
It's certainly why Matilda flew off the handle at least--pushed the one button that shouldn't ever be pushed right now with her.

I sort of doubt it though, on the grounds that the event in question took place well before Gravel's arrival to the boilers, and he didn't seem to be aware of her existence prior to then from what has been conveyed, so most likely, yeah, it was just him stupidly saying it to be hurtful, not knowing it'd hit home quite as much as it did.

In any case, I think there might be hope for Gravel still in the future, but for the moment, I do feel like he kinda had that all coming. He can consider it his hard wake-up call to reality if need be.

11178145
I should stress that I am by no means fluent in it...but I can generally recognize Latin on sight and be able to reverse translate it with the use of a reference much easier than most. I've also used select phrases in my own works too, but that's neither here nor there.

[Truthseeker]

And there it is. Figures. And fucking nobody cares. I have to wonder what kind of cunts Celestia and Luna have to be to allow this shit. Disgusting. If this keeps up I'm going to downvote and abandon the story. This is really starting to feel like torture-porn and it bugs me a LOT.

[Teraunce]

Ooh boy! This went straight to grimdark town.