• Member Since 30th Jun, 2019
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

AtomicClop


Because "fantasy erotica" sounds better than "cartoon horse porn."

Comments ( 23 )

Then she made it worse.

Or, as some royal families would say, better.

11154020
Hapsburgs: "Hold my lager."

Fantastic story! While I could assume roughly how it would go based on the description, the captivating writing left me hooked on every word anyway. You squeezed quite a lot of drama out of just over 5000 words

11154078
Oh, thank you!

I've had the idea in my head for two years, it was almost fully baked before I saw the contest announcement and actually wrote it down.

Glad you enjoyed.

Unable to keep reading, I threw the newspaper in the bucket. Terramar and I had given up covering our eyes for the bucket weeks ago, so he just sort of looked at the ceiling while I peed onto the newspaper, to ensure I wouldn't be tempted to finish reading the article later.

Do you happen to write more of this?

11154088
I considered having one of them pee in the shower, but that would have been a little too distracting.

11154089
Well, it'd definitely distract me.

I feel like this needs a sad tag.

Darn. For all that happens, it's the ending which seals this as a tragedy, and just makes me want to see Silverstream bang their heads together or something. (Course, she likely has her own issues here - survivor's guilt, responsibility etc. - but she at least has friends to support her.)

I do wonder some about the kidnappers - how such an eclectic group formed, if they really thought such demands could work - but they're ultimately just a means to an end, really.

Oh, and I was thrown off a little by the use of the word "arm" - wondered if I'd missed an Anthro tag. I suppose there's no reason hippogriffs can't call their forelimbs that, though.

11154079
Guess there's no such thing as a "dead" idea, just sleeping...

11154369
[Tragedy] would be the appropriate tag, but 95% of Fimfic misunderstands [Tragedy] as "Sad++," not as "Character suffers due to their own fatal flaw," so it's dangerous to actually use that tag.

11154538
I understand why you feel that way... but, if the fic is suppose to be tragedy, I would likely have reevaluated my tag interpretation. Feeding the masses using the wrong tags will only keep the cycle going ad infinitum.

Right now, I am considering my view on the tragedy tag because death is way too synonymous with the tragedy tag. This ending has the right tragedy feel I would be looking for.

I am sorry if I came out aggressive. On the other hand, this is a really good read. Keep it up, wordsmith!

Very tense and emotional fic! And a bit different from your usual fare of happy-go-lucky porn.

I’ll always upvote hippogriff fics on general principle (we need more stories of them in every genre available. Us horsebird lovers are under served!). Skystar’s slight birdbrainess and euphemisms were true to her character, even in the dismal setting. She can be hard to do right.

Admittedly though, the ending was a downer. And while I don’t expect a YOLO traumatic sex in a dungeon to grow out into happy-cousin-couple, it does hurt a bit that they become distant from each other when it’s all over. They leaned on each other to get through a harrowing trial and both end up crumbled by it? Skystar whose main trait is a bubbly happy girl left a wounded, bitter thing? Ouch. Their family should get their tuition back if the 'just fucking talk' hasn't been drilled into them by the friendship school.

I don’t say this to criticize and say “Well you should have written some other way.” But if that was the direction you were going in, you really should add either ‘Dark’ or ‘Sad’ or ‘Tragedy’ tags or all three. I know you argue that people misinterpet tags in a different comment, but this is still a Dark, Sad story with a Tragic end (as defined by the Tagging guide / literary-sense). Tagging correctly is just polite, you know? Some of us do use them correctly as readers to moderate what mood we are in and the stuff we want to read.

Eh, I can't say I like how unambiguously this ended. Bad enough that neither got any closure or talked or anything by the end of the story, but then it just takes away any anticipation or questions about "When will they actually talk? What will happen?" ever possibly happening by straight up going "And they never ever got anywhere near each other ever again the end."

11154726
11154878

Tagging is difficult, and I definitely wavered back and forth for a week on how to tag this one.

Man, that's a grim tale.

The finality of the ending is really rough. I would've thought given their positions they would've been able to get serious counselling in confidence and be helped over their trauma; there would've been strong suspicions as to what had actually happened and there's no shame in it.

Also, interestingly the chances of defects from cousins as a one off event is very low- the problems occur if the same thing happens over several generations.

I had to go read A Very Long Courtship as a palette cleanser for this one.

Then she made it worse.

Oh no. I thought you meant worse but kinda better, but you meant worse but actually even worse.
I'm in agreement with previous commenters suggesting the 'tragedy' tag. Other people misusing it is their problem; in order to see it used correctly, you must be the change you want to see in the world.

Damn. Well written, not over the top. And realistic to boot.

Good work

...but I lost my closest friend in that damn dungeon.

You can't just leave it there! These poor horsebirbs!

I definitely agree the sad tag is warranted, unlike others, I actually respect the sad ending. This was not incest born of love. This was sex, brought out by two hippogriffs plunged into a terrifying, traumatic, and stressful situation seeking closeness and comfort. I can definitely see how the ending could be what it was.

Initially, I only gave this fic a thumb up. I liked it, but it surprised me with its rawness. But all day at work today, I couldn't get this fic out of my head. I kept replaying it over and over again. It was well written, and well executed. Great fic!

11170621
Thanks! That's what I was going for.

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