• Published 14th Sep 2012
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The Perfect Little Village of Ponyville - McPoodle



Vinyl Scratch is forced to take Twilight's place facing off against Nightmare Moon

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Chapter 6: The Room

The Perfect Little Village of Ponyville

Chapter 6: The Room


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Vinyl Scratch was back in the world of darkness. Specifically, she was crammed into a very small room with the Elements of Harmony and Princess Celestia. The air inside was very stale; it appeared that the room only had a narrow door and no windows. The illumination for the others to see by was provided by magical burning torches, as her ears and nose informed her.

“Now I’d like to introduce you to Cecil, who will be performing the teleportation spell,” said the Princess with a very uncharacteristic note of shyness in her voice. “Say hello, Cecil.”

“Good morning, my little ponies,” a strange little voice said. Vinyl, who had developed the ability to distinguish between many different kinds of creatures based on the tone of their voice, was completely unable to classify it.

“Oh it’s the blue rock, isn’t it?” Twilight Sparkle said at last. The voice had appeared to have come from part of the circular wall of the room, so Vinyl supposed that it had been embedded there.

“That’s right,” said Celestia fondly. “Cecil was the first inanimate object I ever brought to life. He was my sounding board at the very beginning of our reign, for ideas I thought my sister would reject as too silly. Such games we played together! Leapfrog...hide and seek...”

The other ponies were torn between awe and laughter at considering the mental image of the Princess as a filly playing with a magic rock.

“...Cash register...” the voice of Cecil added.

“‘Cash register’?” asked Rainbow Dash. “What kind of silly game is that?”

Applejack and Rarity both started to object, and after a moment Applejack allowed Rarity to speak for both of them. “It’s a very fun game,” Rarity said simply, “and quite educational for a future tradespony.”

The Princess waited to hear if anypony else had anything to say before continuing. “Cecil had a room like this in the...um, old castle.” Vinyl suspected the momentary slip came from memories of how her time in that castle came to an end. “And I made a complete replica for Canterlot. You see, there are some forms of magic that are best performed in a simple constrained space like this, and that is the type of magic Cecil is best at. Today he will be performing a group teleportation spell for my friends. Here are the coordinates...”

“Um, Twilight...” said the quiet voice of Fluttershy while the Princess was busy. “I hope you’re not mad that we’re not having you teleport us.”

“Oh that’s all right,” Twilight said, only mostly enthusiastically. “This is the most rational course under the circumstances. You see, I’ve worked through the possible scenarios if I sent a few of us at a time, in all possible permutations, and the difference in safety vs. the ‘everypony together’ scenario is just too great. It has to be all of us at once. And if I was the one doing it, sending all of us at once would leave my magical reserves far too weak when we arrive.”

Nobody mentioned the real reason, of course. Or more precisely, reasons. Vinyl was rather amazed that the group had actually agreed to attempt a group teleport spell again, after the mind-swapping fiasco that had happened before. Of course it had been an accident. Both times. As usual with the group’s wilder adventures, Vinyl never learned precisely what had happened to them on either occasion (Rarity was quite fond of a phrase she called The Number 11: “We shall never speak of this again!”). That being said, there was probably a reason why they were all fluent in Camel now.

“I don’t suppose there’s any way you can see the destination you’re gonna send us to...uh, Cecil?” asked Applejack once the Princess was finished telling the coordinates to the rock.

“That location is in the far north, near the traditional border with Draconia...and Castle by the Sea.”

This was not good news. Castle by the Sea was Celestia and Luna’s ancestral home, and as Miss Terror had confided to Vinyl, it was also the source of the power which had transformed the two into almighty immortal beings. A lowly dragon had once stumbled upon the castle...and emerged as the Dragon Emperor.

“The location is enchanted to allow magic in, but not out.”

Which meant, of course, that it was a trap.

“It’s a good thing we didn’t have a bet against Applejack, huh?” joked Pinkie Pie. “That reminds me: just to be extra-sneaky, I’m giving my Gift of the Ancients to Vinyl here to hold. That way I can fit more pies in my saddlebags!”


The Elements of Harmony were not just equipped with their fancy jewels with rainbow powers. In a trip to a very strange place over a year ago, they had met a representative of the race of Ancients that had left Equestria long before it had even been called Equestria. This representative gave the ponies gifts, seemingly ordinary items in the Ancient’s world that assumed strange and wondrous powers in Equestria. Rainbow Dash had received a javelin capable of saving the world...or destroying it. Applejack received a lasso of truth. Twilight Sparkle got several books describing the history of the Ancients and their knowledge—these had no magical properties, but the truths they revealed were devastating enough all by themselves. Rarity’s gem was the most powerful source of electrical energy in the world, but only under the right circumstances. And Fluttershy’s gift, a small creature that resembled a cross between a bunny and a kitten, didn’t seem to have any special abilities...except for an appetite that was literally endless.

Pinkie Pie’s gift was a music collection, stored on objects known as “compact discs”. Vinyl Scratch’s first real encounter with the Elements of Harmony was when they asked her to create a device for reading these CDs. This had led to the creation of Equestria Acoustics, and an entirely new career for the DJ, selling music instead of just playing it. She had eventually manufactured many hundreds of new CDs, containing all sorts of pony-penned songs. But none of these CDs possessed the unique ability of the Ancient-made ones: the power to induce in the listener exactly the mood the performers possessed when they had recorded it.


“I believe in all of you,” Princess Celestia told the others as she prepared to leave the tiny room.

“And we’ll be back in two shakes of a lamb’s tail,” replied Applejack. “So don’t you worry about us none.”

Vinyl thought she heard two ponies nuzzling, and something whispered between the two.

“Farewell!” proclaimed the Princess, and then the door was closed.

“Well then,” said Cecil, breaking through the uncomfortable silence that followed, “if everyone will give me their undivided attention, we may begin.”

The ponies shuffled about to face the rock.

Nothing happened for several seconds.

“What happens...?” Rainbow Dash started saying. She never got to the word “next”.

“Surprise!” cried Cecil, accompanied by a faint crackling sound.

Vinyl Scratch realized that she was now the only pony in the room.

“Wait, what are you still doing here?” the magic rock asked her.

Vinyl walked right up to him. “You tell me,” she said darkly, having a very good suspicion of why this particular spell didn’t work on her.

“You blinked, didn’t you?”

Vinyl said nothing, letting the attitude of resentment that she radiated speak for her.

“I got this! It’s just a matter of...ha! Or...hoo! Or...hee!” This was accompanied by three more crackling sounds, each one sounding like a flashbulb going off.

Vinyl Scratch was still there.

“You’re still there,” said Cecil. “This is very disconcerting. This spell is supposed to be foolproof, just so long as the light completely illuminates the optic...oh. Oooohhhhh...”


Cecil wasn’t sure, but it appeared that the blind pony was growling at him.

“Explain how the spell works,” she said finally in a disgusted tone, “and maybe we can find a workaround.”

“Well, the point is to completely knock out the conscious mind for a brief instant,” he explained. “It’s absolutely essential that you remain in an unthinking but conscious state while passing through the astral plane, or you’ll lose your mind.”

“Maybe I could go to sleep?” Vinyl suggested.

“No, that wouldn’t do,” Cecil mused. “Your dreams could interact with the plane. That’s much worse than insanity. I could knock you out, but that would make you prone to possession by the Hounds...”


“Perfect...” groaned Vinyl, having no desire to learn about these “Hounds”. Then she remembered the CDs in her saddlebag. She levitated them out with her horn and pressed each case up to her lips to read the system of bumps painted on each one that Pinkie and she had devised as a means for her to distinguish them. She removed one of the shiny disks from its case and presented it to Cecil.

After teaching the blue rock the spell she used to play CDs, she instructed it in which track it should memorize, so she could reclaim the disk.

“So I know how to play a song now,” Cecil said hesitantly. “How does that help?”

“You’ll see.” She walked out into the middle of the room. “Start playing the song, as loud as I taught you. Say nothing. And as soon as you can tell that my mind is completely blank, send me to join the others.”

“Wait, what does the title even mean?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. Play!”


Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap!
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap!
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap!
Tap-tap-tap-tap, tap-tap-tap-tap...

The rhythm began first in the bass, and then moved to the drums, backed by a brass section worthy of a big band ensemble. The walls and floor shook in sympathy. After standing still for a few moments to absorb the rhythm, Vinyl started slowly pacing around the room, one hooffall for every four beats of music.

Waiting for the break of day!
Searching for something to say!
Flashing lights against the sky...
Giving up, I close my eyes.
Sitting cross-legged on the floor.
25 or 6 to 4!

Gradually, Vinyl developed the walk into a dance, making quick turns and changes of direction.

Staring blindly into space!
Getting up to splash my face!
Wanting just to stay awake...
Wondering how much I can take.
Should I try to do some more?
25 or 6 to 4!

The singer was replaced by a raucous electric guitar solo, and that’s when Vinyl went all out: accelerating to one hooffall every other beat, then one hooffall per beat. The unicorn panted, her coat saturated with perspiration, as she flipped and bucked the air again and again, but her expression was completely blank, and she never once bumped into a wall. As the song went completely insane, Vinyl reached an impossible two hooffalls per beat.


Cecil cast his spell at the terrifying blur, and the strange pony finally went away. He allowed the song to finish then played it again from beginning to end.

Feeling like I ought to sleep.
Spinning wheel is spinning deep.
Searching for something to say...
Waiting for the break of day.
25 or 6 to 4?
25 or 6 to 4!

“Wow...” he said at last. “I think I’m in love.”


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