• Published 14th Sep 2012
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The Perfect Little Village of Ponyville - McPoodle



Vinyl Scratch is forced to take Twilight's place facing off against Nightmare Moon

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Chapter 2: Just One Perfect Village

The Perfect Little Village of Ponyville

Chapter 2: Just One Perfect Village


Vinyl Scratch carefully poked her head up over the edge of the basket and looked around.

The balloon had landed in a square in the center of town. Off to one side was a fountain with a statue of a frolicking earth pony. Standing around, staring politely at her, were a multitude of earth ponies and unicorns, many of them carrying baskets, as if the landing was a brief interruption for them. This was then proved when many of them turned their heads away after a moment and proceeded to walk down the street and into and out of the shops that lined it. Not a single pegasus was to be seen.

There was something off about this, but Vinyl couldn’t put a hoof on it. The buildings showed signs of meticulous cleaning and all the windows sparkled in the sunlight, but the ponies appeared to have atrocious grooming habits, as all of them were covered with a fine white dust or dirt, which was kicked up and circulated among them as they walked past each other. The ponies walked with perfectly even spacing between them, entering and exiting the shops at regularly spaced intervals. They always waited their turn when talking to each other, instead of trying to yell over each other as was common in the shops of Canterlot’s town square. When it seemed like two ponies carrying groceries were certain to crash into each other, they suddenly pirouetted around each other.


It’s like the entire square is some sort of clockwork toy, thought Vinyl. Dancing to a waltz that nopony but they can hear.

In response to this suggestion, the “cool” voice in Vinyl’s head began to sing precisely in beat to the movements of the ponies, accompanied by a Techno/Trance ensemble:

Dancing bears, painted wings,
Things I almost remember.
And a song someone sings,
Once upon a December.

Just as with the rock song earlier, this was a song that Vinyl knew, but didn’t know how she knew.

Someone holds me safe and warm.
Horses prance though a silver storm.
Figures dancing gracefully across my memory...

Who are you? Vinyl asked the voice.

How should I know? it answered with a smirk. I’m in your head, remember?


One of the buildings stood out from the others because of its height: the city hall. Standing in front of the hall was a small group of ponies in formal attire, led by a tan earth pony with a gray mane and wearing spectacles. There was an odd sort of grayness in their eyes, like they had let the dust settle even there.

The always-awkward Vinyl held back and waited for Spike to make the first...wait, no, she actually jumped out of the basket and approached the group by herself. A startled Spike quickly scrambled out of the basket and in front of her to introduce her: “Announcing the Princess’ representative for the Millennial Summer Sun Celebration: Vinyl Scratch.” He gave Vinyl a brief surprised glance before turning back to face the others.

The group all bowed their heads for a few seconds, all but a white unicorn in the back, who glared at her for the briefest of moments before joining the others. This motion also displaced a cloud of dust, revealing the dignitaries to be just as slovenly as the others.

The tan pony stepped forward. “Welcome to Ponyville,” she addressed Vinyl in a grand voice, sweeping a foreleg to encompass everything around them. “I am the mayor of this village, and all of our resources are dedicated to the service of the Princess.”

“The representative requests the opportunity to review the arrangements that have been made for tomorrow morning’s activities,” said Spike.

The mayor’s eyes had been on Vinyl, so she had to search around for a few seconds before finding the diminutive figure who had just spoken. “Oh! Yes, that is quite acceptable. You will need a liaison to show you around, and as I’m personally supervising the work in the Town Hall, I will not be able to perform that honor myself.”

“That’s alright,” said Vinyl. “We’ll be happy with whoever you are able to spare.”

“I do believe that I am available, your honor,” said the white unicorn from before. The crowd parted to let her pass. She seemed by far to be the dirtiest of the ponies, but as the dust was the same color as her coat, this was only apparent when she walked. Her mane and tail were two elaborately arranged geometrical arrays of purple, and her cutie mark, which was hard to make out, appeared to be a cloud of tiny sparkles.

Spike fell in love with her at first sight.

Well...I think he fell in love with her. He was supposed to, but...hmm.

The unicorn with the purple mane introduced herself. “My name is...”

“...Rarity!” exclaimed Vinyl Scratch.

What! How?


She had instantly recognized the voice of her fillyhood friend.


The moment she said this, Spike wheeled around and gave her a look of utter confusion. “How do you know...?”

Rarity in contrast drew back as if she had been attacked by a cobra. “I am going to have to echo your dragon friend’s question, Representative Scratch. If I am not mistaken, we have never met before.”

“We...” she began, putting a hoof to her forehead.


Vinyl thought back. Her memories told her that she had been born in Canterlot, and this was the first time she had ever left the capital. And she was certain that she had never seen this unicorn before this meeting. And yet she was equally certain that she did know Rarity.


Spike looked back and forth between the two unicorns with concern before stepping forward. “Obviously, Vinyl was briefed about every pony of importance she would meet in Ponyville. Including you, Miss...uh, Rarity.” It was obvious to anypony that Spike was not a very good liar.

“Oh yes,” said Rarity, recovering herself. “Obviously.” She glanced back at the mayor and nodded her head. In response the gray pony led the others back into the hall.

Rarity turned towards Vinyl and Spike and stepped forward, offering her hoof in greeting. “I am the village’s official clothier, and may I echo my mayor’s wish that you be embraced with open hooves by the citizens of Ponyville.”

Vinyl shook the offered hoof, and immediately sneezed as the ubiquitous dust got into her nose. “Oh dear!” exclaimed Rarity, using her upraised hoof to hide a sinister smile. “I hope you’re not coming down with something.”

“There’s something about this air...” muttered Vinyl. She suddenly felt unsteady on her feet. “Do you mind if I sit down for a bit?” she asked, gesturing towards an unoccupied table and three lounge chairs a few pony-lengths away. “This trip appears to have drained me.”

“Oh, certainly!” said Rarity, guiding Vinyl to a chair. “I must apologize for the climate here. Ponyville is naturally drier than Canterlot, and with the lack of pegasus attention, it has only gotten worse. Now I need to arrange to have your balloon stored somewhere where it will not be in the way. Is that alright?”

Vinyl nodded wearily.

“Excellent. You stay right there and I’ll be back in just a few minutes.”


Vinyl took off her sunglasses and massaged her closed eyes for a minute.


As she did this, she tried to figure out how she could possibly know Rarity. Her mind then wandered over to the rock ‘n’ roll tune she heard just before hearing the Rising Song, and found that she was still completely unable to remember the name or performer of the song, or when in her life she could possibly have heard it before.


Spike climbed up onto the chair next to her and slid a bowl of ice water under her nose. “Drink this,” he told her, then watched her carefully as she did so. “Vinyl...?”

“I have red eyes,” she said in wonder, looking into the small pool of water left in the bowl.

“I’ve always thought that they were very pretty eyes,” he told her.

Vinyl replaced her sunglasses and self-consciously pushed them further up her muzzle as she looked down into the bowl. “Spike, do you remember a song that starts like this...” And she gently tapped the following rhythm on the tabletop as she watched the ripples in the water: tap-tap-tap-tap-tap! tap-tap-tap-tap-tap! tap-tap-tap-tap-tap! tap-tap-tap-tap, tap-tap-tap-tap...

Spike thought for a few seconds. “‘Gimme Some Lovin’? Wait, that would be more like this...” And he tapped out his own rhythm on the table with one claw: tap-tap-tap-tap-tap, bam! tap-tap-tap-tap-tap, bam! tap-tap-tap-tap-tap, bam! tap-tap-tap-tap-tap, bam! “Naw, I’ve got nothin’. Where’d you hear it?”

“That’s the thing,” said Vinyl, “I don’t know where I heard it, but I think it’s really important. And...another thing. I...I think I’m losing my mind,” she said, raising her head to look at him. “I’ve got...it’s like...there’s these voices in my head. My voice, telling me things I should know. But I don’t know, Spike, because they’re not real. Nothing before the moment I woke up in that basket was real. And now everything is wrong. Everything but that song.”

Spike rested a clawed hand on Vinyl’s hoof. “I don’t know what’s going on with you,” he said softly, “but I’m here for you, no matter what.”

“Spike, do you think I’m the same pony you knew from before I woke up?” she asked.

“Yes! No...I dunno. I’ll tell you one thing, though: something is very wrong with this town, and that Rarity is in the center of it, I just know it! The moment I set eyes of her, I knew she was like the flaw that ruins an otherwise perfect gem.”

OK, scratch the “falling in love” thing. Wow. You think you know a dragon...

Vinyl’s brief illness was suddenly gone, replaced by outrage. “What are you talking about!” she exclaimed, jumping down from the chair. “This town is the most splendid place I have ever set eyes upon, and Rarity is a paragon of Truth, Justice, and the Equestrian Way!”


“Oh, I am most flattered to hear that,” said Rarity, settling into an available chair with an air of victory. “But of course it is the mayor who deserves the credit. I am merely her devoted assistant.” If she had overheard any of Spike’s opinion of her, she pretended otherwise.

“This is a most perfect little village, isn’t it?” the clothes-mare continued, craning her neck to take in its clockwork inhabitants. “The complete triumph of order over chaos! Every pony with a place, and a place for every pony! Did you know that five years ago Ponyville had the worst Winter Wrap-Up time in all of Equestria? Well those days are gone forever, and last year this town set the Equestrian record for shortest time with no mistakes. All thanks to m...my dear mayor, and her tireless quest to improve conditions for all who live here.”

Vinyl had spent the entire speech nodding rapturously, while Spike paced impatiently back and forth behind her. “A most perfect town indeed!” the musical pony exclaimed. “Although it is a pity about the weather.”

“Yes, well the Revolt has put the weather ponies out of the jurisdiction of the municipal government,” Rarity said sadly.

“‘The Revolt’?”

Rarity pointed upwards in reply.

Vinyl craned her head up to scan the air above them. A few small clouds dotted the sky. In the direction of Cloudsdale, she could see a couple of very high thin clouds, and she could just make out dark round shapes sticking out of them. The heads of pegasi, watching them.

The sky was a very light blue, darkening somewhat towards the horizon. Ringing the horizon at a height of five full moons was a band of rainbow color—the permanent symbol of The Revolt.


Vinyl’s memory dutifully informed her that this ring had been there, day and night, ever since the day the Pegasus Revolt against Equestria began ten years ago. That was the day that Rainbow Dash (now Empress Rainbow Dash) had created the Sonic Rainboom that had broken the sky forever. Since that day the weather ponies had performed their duties only to the bare minimum necessary to prevent the complete fall of pony civilization, and so things would remain, until Celestia agreed to surrender control of Equestria to the Rainbow Empress.

“Would you ever do that?” an anxious Vinyl Scratch had asked her mentor at the time.

“No,” said the Princess. “But neither will I provoke a war of pony against pony. I have never coerced any pony into obeying me, and I never will. As long as the earth ponies and unicorns wish me to be their ruler, then I have no choice but to resist the demands of the pegasi until they become reasonable.”

And so affairs have remained, for the past decade.

It was curious, though, that Vinyl had gained her cutie mark and hatched Spike on the exact same day as Skybreak...


“Vinyl,” said Rarity, looking up into the sky with Vinyl Scratch. “I have a question to ask, if I am not being too bold.”

“No, you can ask...anything,” Vinyl replied, her voice growing increasingly hazy with every word uttered.

“I was wondering why Ponyville was selected for the Summer Sun Celebration this year? Is it possible that word of our improved efficiency has reached the ears of the Princess? Does she harbor certain...suspicions? Because unlike a certain egotistical pegasus, I have...err...I mean the mayor, have no ambitions of extending our program. All we want is Ponyville. Just one perfect village in a world of pain and disappointment, is that so much to ask? Can’t you see how happy everypony is? I have provided for all of them! And in return I have given up my hopes and dreams of becoming a world-class designer. Surely the Princess has no need for one little village?”

“I...um...I’m not sure what exactly the question is,” mumbled Vinyl, still looking up. “The Princess picks the cities several hundred years in advance, but she felt it best to keep that fact a secret, because...because, I don’t think she ever told me the ‘because’...”

“So she is still ignorant of my accomplishments?” asked Rarity. “Interesting...somewhat disappointing, but interesting...”

While Vinyl and Rarity were busy staring at the sky and talking, Spike reached out a claw and plucked one of the numerous bits of dirt off of Vinyl’s hind leg for closer examination; the stuff had sort of spontaneously sprouted out of her coat all of a sudden. He squinted one eye to get a closer look at it, tried in vain to smell anything distinctive about it, and finally, with some reluctance, put it on his tongue. His closed eye sprung open in shock. “Diamond dust!”

Well, to be precise, it was a mixture of the dusts generated by grinding up seventeen different gems and precious stones, including diamonds, but certainly not entirely or even predominantly diamonds. The grinding process neutralized the effects the crystals had on the diffraction of light, resulting in a light-gray substance that one might be misled into thinking was purely the result of pulverizing crystalline carbon. But...for the sake of a more-streamlined narrative, I suppose I could be willing to live with the simplified term.

Rarity glared down at Spike upon hearing his deduction. “I had forgotten about you, reptile!” she hissed. With the sound of a snake-charmer’s flute, Rarity’s horn glowed, causing the fabric of a nearby awning to quickly unravel and bind itself around the body and snout of a very startled Spike. She then turned her attention back to Vinyl’s scan of the sky, changing her hateful expression to one of sweetness. “Oh Vinyl, darling!” she cooed.

“Yes, Mistress?” sighed Vinyl blissfully.

“We must hurry if we are to get through your inspection. Now with me to guide you, surely you won’t have any need for your assistant, correct?”

“Spike?” asked Vinyl weakly looking around. “What’s happened...?”

Rarity quickly stepped up to Vinyl and began speaking directly into her ear. “Why the poor dear has become so exhausted that he’s fallen asleep! That is what you see, is it not?”

Spike tried in vain to struggle against the magically enforced fabric. He attempted a desperate cry for help.

“Um...yes, yes of course that is what I see, my Mistress,” droned Vinyl.

“Excellent! Let me arrange accommodations for your friend here in town, while we continue on our way.”

“OK.”

“Now I believe the first pony you would need to meet would be Applejack, as she will be providing all of the food for tonight’s celebration. You just head down that road, and I’ll catch right up with you!”

“If you say so,” Vinyl said, wandering off.

Spike continued to try to attract attention, but no one in the entire town seemed to notice, except for Rarity.

Rarity tapped the table three times, and a group of police ponies, their uniforms thoroughly saturated in diamond dust, appeared before her. “We have here a spy of...the Dragon Emperor,” she coldly informed them. “Find me the evidence I need to convince the Princess of that fact. Oh, and lock him in the dungeon, first.”

The police saluted silently, then picked up the bound dragon and made their way to the town hall (which sat on top of the Ponyville Dungeon), the other ponies instantly parting way and then acting like nothing unusual had just happened.

Spike didn’t even resist his arrest. Instead he spent his time pondering...um, the injustice of the world? I swear I knew what he was thinking just a second ago! What happened?


Spike spent his time pondering the last words of Mistress Rarity. He was going to be framed for committing treason in the name of the Dragon Emperor. He knew for a fact that there had been no dragon emperor for nearly seven thousand years, and there certainly was no dragon emperor now. And yet his memory told him that he had been hatched as part of a mad plot by the Dragon Emperor’s chief spy, a plot foiled by Vinyl Scratch on the day of her testing before Princess Celestia. Her musical skills alone were enough to reverse his growth spurt and corruption.

The spy had been caught and convicted in the highest court in the land, but the Princess showed mercy. The culprit would be allowed to survive, with a magical brand that forever identified her. From that day forth, the pony behind the plot would be known as “The Traitor, Twilight Sparkle.”