2. Where am I?
Celestia opened her eyes just enough to see without fully opening them as she groggily brought herself up off the ground. She slowly opened her eyes more, only to realize she couldn’t see anything but unending blackness. Fearing she was blind, she looked down at herself. Relieved that she could at least see her own body took a small weight off her unsteady shoulders.
Something piqued her curiosity after inspecting herself. Celestia could not make out any noise whatsoever from her environment. Shifting her eyes back and forth, she found herself in an endless area unknown to her. A black, empty abyss with only her white coat to stand out as a beacon. The alicorn felt something she hadn’t felt in centuries; fear. She felt vulnerable, out in the open as bright as something could possibly be in that wretched place.
She tentatively put her hoof down on the hard obsidian ground. Not too long after, she heard the faintest echo reply her.
“Well, this is quite the oddity.” The sun goddess thought aloud. She ruffled her wings as she brought a hoof to her chin in thought, before a sly smile appeared on her lips.
“Luna, if this is one of your pranks, I am not amused in the slightest.” Celestia sighed shaking her head.
Nothing.
“Release me from your Dream Control spell right now, this is not funny, Luna.” Celestia demanded as she slammed a royal hoof down.
Only an echo, slightly louder this time, answered her.
By now, the princess of the night would have said something; she always did whenever she meddled with her sister’s dreams. This was different; Celestia reached out with her magic and felt something gently pushing her back. The magical signature was faintly familiar, but one thing was clear; this was not Luna’s doing.
The white alicorn’s ears laid back ever so slightly as she tried to unravel the mystery before her.
“All right Celestia, you’re in some massive room, with nothing in it except black, and you don’t know how you got here.” Celestia started, as she slowly paced back and forth. “First step is to-“She stopped as something occurred to her. She didn’t even know how she got here. This was most unusual seeing as most ponies could remember something as trivial as how they got somewhere.
“Let’s start with retracing our steps.” Celestia huffed, she never liked doing this. “The last thing I remember was discussing the amendments to the taxes. I dismissed everypony, and then…and then I…” She rubbed her horn in frustration, her eyes shut in anger with the situation.
“Why can’t I remember what happene-!” A pulse shot through her body, going from her horn to her hooves, effectively stopping the alicorn’s complaints. As the wave of agony cascaded through her body, she could’ve sworn she heard something moving in the darkness.
The pains decided to retreat for that moment. As soon as the last wave of discomfort left her, she remembered everything. The sensation her horn felt when it tossed her from her own throne, how it dragged her out in the hallways, and when she called to Luna for help.
“Luna…” Celestia whispered.
Why hadn’t Luna helped her big sister? It was impossible to sleep through each other’s call for help. Unless, no, Luna wouldn’t do this, Right? Luna loves Celestia, and would never attempt something like dethroning her, much less attempting to assassinate her. Unless she still harbored ill feelings towards her for 1000 years of banishment…
All of these thoughts raced through Celestia’s mind. After awhile she concluded that Luna could not... no, would not... ever kill her.
“Wait.” The princess’ thoughts hit something, a question she should’ve asked a long time ago. “Am I dead? Is this the afterlife?” She bowed her head in a defeated sigh. Whatever it was that caused her horn to act so strangely must’ve been too much for her. Celestia collapsed into a miserable heap of despair only rivaled by her sister during her time on the moon.
For the first time in as long as she could remember, she started crying tears of sadness. Each and every drop that poured brought forth a memory of regret. Her sister’s imprisonment, all the ponies she was forced to kill to get to Discord, each and every griffin she slayed in the War of Feathers all those centuries ago. The largest regret was too much for tears. Have you ever been so depressed you couldn’t cry? This is what Celestia was feeling at this very moment.
All she could do was curl up as tight as possible on the black granite and sit through the ride as her mind screamed its anguish at never finding true love. In her thousands of years of life, she’d never married, never truly loved; she would never have the children she always wanted, never become a queen. Only Luna would continue the legacy of the royal sisters now, she thought.
“Why am I stuck here!?” The alicorn screamed to the imaginary heavens above her. An echoed “why” was the only reply to the depressed princess.
“Why, you aren’t stuck here, Celestia.” A cheery voice interrupted her gloomy thoughts.
The keeper of the sun wheeled around at the sudden noise. In her shock, she couldn’t pinpoint its owner’s position. It sounded like it came from everywhere.
A slow stepping of hooves on her left, the sound of large wings beating overhead. The noise of the wing’s owner ceased as the sound of it landing on her right. She was surrounded. The unknown figures were stepping towards her. She found herself rooted to the ground in fear of what would happen. She could only imagine what horrors these figures would bring upon her in this evil, desolate place. All the alicorn could do was huddle herself on the ground, and await whatever fate befell her from these dark spirits.
“Celestia, why are you hiding from us?” A curious voice asked her in a non-threatening tone.
Celestia buried her face deeper her hooves like a foal hiding from closet monsters. She felt something, a hoof; It was slowly rubbing her shoulder as she cringed, then relaxed at the gentle touch. The distressed alicorn slowly gazed from between her hooves. She could see a deep crimson hoof adorned with a beautiful silver shoe resting on her shoulder.
She followed the foreleg up to its shoulder, her eyes flickered to the wings at the side, and each was a beautiful deep red to match the coat. Her gaze continued upwards, pausing to admire a shimmering midnight-blue mane dotted with stars that flowed in an invisible breeze. Her inspecting gaze eventually met with the most beautiful copper eyes Celestia had ever seen; her mother’s.
“M…m...mom?” the daughter’s shaky voice inquired in disbelief. She hadn’t seen her mother since-
“Yes, daughter of mine.” The ancient red alicorn confirmed with a smile that threatened to reach her mane. Celestia stared, dumbfounded at the situation. Before she could think, she jolted up and hugged her mother in an embrace that would have crippled a normal pony. She let out a cry of joy after seeing her royal mother after such a long time.
She didn’t hear the hoof steps behind her as she nuzzled her mother’s neck.
“Hey there, Celly” A deep booming, yet gentle voice greeted “You haven’t forgotten about your dear old-“
“Father!” Celestia leaped towards the dark blue alicorn she hadn’t seen in eons, hugging him tightly. “Dad…” She contently sighed as she nuzzled into the tall alicorn’s coat. It smelled of summer rain, just like she remembered.
Her mother walked over and together the three alicorns embraced each other in silence.
If this isn’t death, then what is this?
After what felt like too short a time to the royal daughter, the family embrace ended. Celestia looked with tear-filled eyes up to her parents who still stood a full foot taller than her. They both smiled back warmly as her father laid a wing over her mother, bringing them closer.
This was how Celestia wanted to remember her parents, as the strong, loving king and queen who gave their children everything they wanted, and more. The alicorn of the sun looked back at her cutie mark, and then to her parents; both their flanks were blank after relinquishing power of the sun and moon to their daughters. The lack of cutie marks made no negative impression upon Luna or Celestia; they loved their parents even more after their gift.
“Mom? Dad?” Celestia asked to get their attention. They both replied with warm smiles, ready for anything.
“If I’m not dead like you say I am, then why am I here?”
The reply the princess of the sun received started with her parents giving each other the look every child knew; the look that they were silently deciding who should go first. Her father took a step forward towards the curious alicorn before him. He cleared his throat to begin, the deep and wise tone she remembered all too well came forth.
“Listen close, Celly, this may be hard to explain.”
Celestia dropped to her haunches and nodded, confirming she was ready.
She wanted to know everything.
“I don’t know about this, Twilight.”
“Why not Spike?”
“You remember what happened last time we agreed to let the Cutie Mark Crusaders help us?”
“Of course I do, but I have forgiven them. They deserve a second chance.”
“Even after what they did to your book?”
“Well…” Twilight winced at the memory of the three fillies ‘helping’ her organize.
Twilight levitated herself down the stairs, pausing to identify the smell that reached her nostrils. Somepony was burning a book. One of Twilight’s books was on fire in the main room. She could only stare in horror at the blasphemous act.
“We’ll be fine Spike, I promise” The unicorn smiled. Before Spike could begin another protest, a familiar knock was at the door.
“I’ll get it…as usual.” Spike grumbled as he reached for the handle. “Oh hey Sweetie Belle, where are Scootaloo and Applebloom?“
“They both had things come up” The filly’s voice squeaking slightly. “Applebloom’s taking care of Granny Smith and Scootaloo’s grounded for not doing her homework. So it’s just me today.” Sweetie Belle beamed a friendly smile at the purple dragon. She couldn’t complain, she liked Spike and wouldn’t mind spending time with him this autumn afternoon.
“Well come on in and make yourself comfy, it’s really chilly today.” Spike was such a gentlepony, er dragon Sweetie Belle thought. Everypony knew the purple maned filly was crushing hard on Spike, except for the dragon himself. How ironic, it’s like the way he likes Rarity without her really knowing. She thought to herself as she entered the welcoming warmth of one of her favorite places in Ponyville.
“Hey Spike?” Sweetie Belle started, turning her head to see him staring right back at her. She certainly wasn’t expecting that. “Uhm…I need to ask Twilight something before we try organizing again, you mind?”
“Go ahead, she’s in the kitchen.” The dragon flicked a thumb towards the aforementioned room.
Without another word she set off to find the purple unicorn she wanted to talk to. This was going to be important. She entered the kitchen and spied Twilight simply staring out the window, lost in her thoughts as she stared off towards the mountains.
“Twilight?”
The purple mare did a double take before realizing somepony was talking to her. “Oh, hi Sweetie Belle!” Twilight tried greeting nonchalantly. Sweetie Belle shrugged it off as nothing; Twilight did weird things like that a lot.
“Hello, Twilight.” Sweetie Belle returned with her sing-song voice. “Can I ask you something? If you’re not busy right now that is.” Twilight slowly squinted then raised an eyebrow in suspicion.
“It’s not about Spike, is it?” She sighed as these words left her mouth. “I’ve told you before, I can’t help you with him, you’ll just have to get the courage to-“
Sweetie Belle frantically rushed forward to silence the mare by placing her hooves over Twilight’s muzzle. “He’s right in there!” She whispered to the now hushed unicorn. She removed her hooves as Twilight’s face showed her understanding of the situation.
“Well then, what did you want to know?” The older unicorn brimmed with excitement; she loved being asked questions, mostly because she always had a correct answer.
“I had a question about Cutie Marks…” The filly started, pausing to find the right words. “Where do they come from?”
“They’re connected to the magic all pony tribes have access to. The earth ponies and their connection to nature, pegasi and their weather-“
“That’s not what I meant” Sweetie Belle interrupted, piquing the unicorn’s interest all the more. “I meant are our cutie marks decided for us before we’re born? Like, some sort of god-like entity that decides everypony’s fates and what our marks look like?”
“Oh, that’s easy! You see-“The purple pony’s voice stopped. She knew the answer to this, right? She knew everything! Twilight sent a mental probe through her brain, stopping and analyzing everything she knew about cutie marks. Nothing she’d ever read explained their origins, and this blank return of an answer rewarded Twilight with a thousand yard stare as her brain froze.
Oh great, I broke Twilight… Sweetie Belle mused as the unicorn opposite her stood there for the better part of a minute before moving.
The baffled unicorn shook her head back and forth before adopting a serious look on her face. “This requires research, now.” Her tone was flat and quick. This day was going to prove more interesting than previously thought.
An hour of frantic research through every tome on magic yielded nothing close to what they were looking for. Books lay strewn over almost every surface. It surprised Sweetie Belle that the library could even hold such a massive throng of tomes.
“Well, if there’s anypony who knows this, it’s going to be the princess” Twilight confidently strode over to her desk, levitating its makeshift blanket of books away into a corner.
“You’re writing the princess?” Sweetie Belle cheerfully asked.
“Yes.” Twilight confirmed, her parchment and inkwell being brought of a drawer as a quill floated from somewhere Sweetie Belle couldn’t see. “I just hope she isn’t too busy right now.”
In a land far away, a dark alicorn was sprinting through corridors in a severe panic. Luna had received her sister’s magical cry for help only moments ago. The lunar princess now followed the white beam of light as it wound around corners to show where Celestia was. Her tracking spell was having trouble; it would occasionally take a wrong turn, which brought a few curses from Luna. Something about Celestia was interfering with the tracking spell. It eventually led her outside and into-
“The labyrinth?” Luna stood at the entrance of the colossal maze. “What in the name of Tartarus is she doing in there?” She didn’t wait around before taking to the sky in search of her distressed sister. The princess’s dark wings beat rapidly to propel the alicorn forwards. Time was of the essence, Celestia could be dying for all Luna knew.
The alicorn’s tracking spell was still in front of her, leading her through the air directly into the center of the labyrinth. Without warning it turned straight towards the ground and stopped. What Luna saw when she landed paralyzed her with fear; Celestia lay on the ground, unmoving as her horn shot forth a slow but constant stream of sparks onto the grass a few meters away.
“Tia!” Luna took no time in trying to wake her unconscious sister. She was gently prodding Celestia’s sides and nuzzling her, a broken look adorned on her face. “Tia? Tia, you have to wake up, please.”
Celestia did not respond. The only movement was the rogue horn, still firing small sparks for a reason Luna did not care to know.
“Tia!” Luna yelled into the alicorn’s ears, she did not respond. The lunar princess ran her horn over the unconscious mare’s body, hoping to find the problem. As she tried to get a picture of what was happening with her sister, she felt a block to her magic. Luna reeled back in shock; there were only two reasons her spell wouldn’t work, either Celestia was actively blocking her somehow, or she was really…
“No...no…no no no you wouldn’t leave me like this! You can’t do this to me…” Luna couldn’t believe what was happening. She slowly sat down to rest her head on her big sister’s side, like when they were younger. They were best friends then, before Luna turned into Nightmare Moon. She openly wept into Celestia’s pristine coat; her heart ached from regret at all the time she could have spent with her. Instead she was alone for those thousand years, so horribly alone it nearly killed her. The only thing that kept even the smallest part of Luna’s mind sane was the knowledge that one day she would see her beloved sister again. But now, she feared she was gone forever, leaving Luna alone once again.
Unknown to the heartbroken princess, a letter had arrived and silently rolled under Celestia’s mane. In a last ditched effort, mostly through desperateness she pulled her sister’s wing over her body as a makeshift blanket. It made her feel safe, it made her feel loved. Luna looked down at her sister’s face.
She reminds me so much of mother and father, always there to comfort me when I feel scared. Always there to help me if I needed it, always there to teach me when I am wrong…
“Please wake up Tia, I need you” Luna pleaded, using her face to nudge Celestia’s head. “Come on, wake up. You can’t leave me like this…please just get up. I’m sorry for everything! Just please wake up!” A new waterfall of tears rolled their way down her coat. Please, just wake up Tia, I love you.
“So, this place is some kind of halfway point between life and the afterlife?” Celestia asked, after hearing her parents explain the unusual setting.
“In a nutshell, yes.” Her mother nodded. She was under her husband’s wing again.
“But you still haven’t told me why I am here.” Celestia pouted. The air was cold, and Luna was probably worried sick.
“Well, you see…” Her mother looked to her father, he always was the better one with words. He nodded and began where his wife left off.
“This place is where souls wait to have their final destination given to them. You either ascend, or you are bound to Tartarus for the rest of eternity.” Celestia cringed, being captive in Tartarus would not be pleasant, and there were many souls there who would want revenge on the royal alicorn whom sent them there. Her father could see the hint of fear in his daughter’s eyes. “Don’t worry Celly, that is not your destination.”
“Then what happens to me?” Her mother decided to answer this one.
“Why, you go back to Equestria of course. You were sent here as a safety measure while your physical body recovers.”
“What actually happened to me? All I can remember is my horn hurting terribly, and calling out to Luna for help.” Her parents gave each other a look, the look that something unpleasant was about to be brought up.
“Before we discuss why you are here, let’s discuss Luna.” Her mother started.
“Yes, we know you imprisoned her to the moon for one thousand years.” Her father continued. Celestia bit her lip as she felt her heart stop. Her parents being disappointed in her was the only thing she was afraid of in their time.
Oh no, are they mad? Of course they’re mad you foal! You banished your own sister, their daughter, for one thousand years! Effectively scarring her most likely for the rest of her days!
“Mother, father, I know what I did is unforgivable, but she was going to-“Her mother held up a hoof. This was it she thought, they were going to send her Tartarus, or keep her here for eternity!
“What you did was keep the kingdom your father and I worked so hard for safe.” The crimson alicorn’s voice was comforting, sincere. “We both understand it was difficult, but Luna was going through a difficult time and you had to do something.” The dark blue alicorn opened his mouth to continue where his wife left off.
“We’re sorry for what you both went through.” Her father started, placing a hoof onto Celestia’s sitting form. This gesture did little to comfort his next words. “We’re proud of you, of what you did”
“What!?” Celestia stood up, shocked at her parent’s feelings. “You’re proud of me for banishing my only sister? You’re proud of me for all those lonely centuries I spent without my best friend? I can’t believe you-!” She was stopped by her mother, who placed a wing over her. She began crying into her mother again, embracing her for a reason she didn’t know. She should be mad at me, I don’t understand!
“What your father means is that when you used The Element of Harmony on your sister, you could have used them to kill Luna and be the sole ruler of Equestria.” Her mother’s tone was comforting as she smiled proudly at her daughter.
“I…I never even thought of that. All I wanted was for the kingdom to be safe, I thought sending her away was the right answer.”
“And it was.” The blue alicorn nodded. “If you had killed Luna with the Elements, Nightmare Moon would have taken complete control and been too strong, even for you.” Celestia seemed to recover at the wisdom of her father. Eventually she released her grip on her mother and stood on her own. She closed her eyes for a moment to collect herself.
“Let’s go back to my other concern, why I’m here at all.”
“Ah yes, well it would seem that a spell was going through your body, a very old spell that you set in motion a long time ago.” Her father was certainly wise, but also quite vague at times.
“I don’t understand, a spell I did?” Her parents nodded. “What was its purpose?”
“It was made to make you remember something, a time capsule spell. Only, you cast it so long ago it built up and released an extraordinary amount of magic.” The red alicorn looked with worry at her daughter. “It’s a miracle it didn’t kill you. But, it did do the job you set it to do.”
“I don’t remember, but I guess that’s the point of a time capsule spell.” Celestia deadpanned, not amused at her actions that brought her here. “What did I design the spell to do?”
“It was created to take you to a place where a memory is kept.” Her father replied
“A memory? Of what?” The sun goddess tilted her head in confusion
“That, you will have to discover for yourself.” Her mother’s tone was cheery. “But to do that, you have to wake up, dear”
“If I wake up, I won’t see you again.” Celestia frowned as she felt a tear begin to form. She was going to object before she remembered her duty as the bearer of the sun. Her people needed her. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few She thought to herself, it was part of the royal code. It meant duty came before desires.
“Will I remember this when I wake up? Will I remember being here?” Her voice was hoarse and full of worry. Her parents only nodded in unison. She leaped towards the alicorns in front of her, hugging them with all her strength as a single tear slowly cascaded down her face. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll all see each other again someday.” Her mother comforted as she embraced her daughter back. Her father squeezed her tight with his mighty wings before releasing her and looking off towards something in the distance. A golden archway materialized not far from the trio. It caught Celestia’s attention, now seeing what her father looked at.
“Go to her, she needs you.” The former king of Equestria pointed towards the archway. Muffled cries belonging to Luna began to come from the other side. Celestia turned her body towards the source of the noise and took a tentative step forward. She took another step, if she turned around now, she wouldn’t ever leave. She unfurled her wings and with a single mighty beat of her wings she flew into the archway, hearing a final echo from her mother as she passed from the world of darkness.
“We love you very much Celestia, do us proud once more.”
Celestia could feel herself falling through blackness for what seemed minutes. She was not afraid however; she knew she would be alright. Her parents would never lie to her. She could feel herself slowing down as something appeared below her. It was a small dot of light that quickly grew into recognizable forms.
Surrounded by the darkness was Luna, huddled next to her body, pleading with the unconscious alicorn to wake up as her heart was beginning to shatter. Celestia pointed herself downwards to gain speed, headed directly towards her body.
I’m coming Luna, don’t be afraid.
Reality was brought back to the alicorn slowly as she felt herself being melded with her physical body. It felt strange as her senses slowly returned to her. First was her sense of smell, it smelt of freshly cut grass and midnight air as Luna’s mane blew nearby. Her next sense to return was touch; she began to feel her sister’s weight against her body.
She tried to move but her sluggish body wouldn’t respond. She tried opening her eyes but they wouldn’t budge. The unconscious alicorn began to hear a ringing sound as her hearing slowly came back.
“-ust wake up Tia, I love you.”
That was Luna’s voice. The sound of her younger sister’s heartbroken tone brought her out of her subconscious state. She had to comfort her sister, let her know it was all going to be okay.
The first thing Luna noticed was Celestia’s horn; it stopped firing its unending volley of sparks. The lunar princess’s eye opened in horror, believing her sister was truly gone now. That is, if she didn’t feel Celestia’s chest suddenly fill her with air and lift her off the ground. Luna now stood, cradling a hoof under her older sister’s face as her eyes opened agonizingly slow.
“Tia? Tia!” Her voice returned full of surprise and relief at the small sight. Celestia’s voice was strained and barely understandable as she regained control of her vocal chords.
“It’s all right Luna…I’m back, I’m okay.” Luna’s reply was quick as her eyes filled with tears of relief at her sister’s words. She craned a neck down to her weakened sibling.
“Don’t ever scare me like that again.”
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Author's notes, (Please read)
Phew, this chapter was a monster to put together. Easily my longest one yet. And still only half as long as I'm hoping to make some others
As some of my close followers may already be aware of, there's a lot of things I purposefully did in this chapter to hopefully grab your attention. This includes foreshadowing, "past-shadowing" and selective word choice that hints at something with a hidden meaning.
I've taken the liberty to Pinkie Promise a cookie to anypony who can point to one specific spot and go "Why did you say it like that? Does it really imply this? In a nutshell, find one specific spot where my word choice will likely go unnoticed, find something that stands out to you, if you're correct I will give you a cookie. Literally, I will go to the store, make cookies and mail one to you. If you've read my latest blog+comments, you're already up to speed. Send me a personal message, not a public comment and if you're correct then you win one of my famous cookies
I'm eager to see what speculation people have out of this and can't wait for the comments
I know I've been ignoring the romance tag for this story, but before you hit that unfavorite button know this; the next chapter will have serious romantic development between main characters. The Spike-Sweetie Belle thing isn't a major romance, it's more of a signature thing I add into all my stories. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Sweetie_happy.png
I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, and if you haven't yet and you're going through the comments first then shame on you, go readdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
Thanks again to my editor, Darastrix.
P.S. The Discord and Griffin mentions there are hints to a mini-story I have in the works.
It's essentially a short telling of events prior to stopping Discord, and what happens with Celestia and the griffins after Luna is banished.
1322946
!?!
There's going to be bigger chapters
Well, better get my mental capacity upgraded.
1331991
I have faith in your editing abilities. I know you won't let me down.
fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/185/3/c/patriotic_celestia_by_sirponylancelot-d55znw5.gif
1331999
!
I'll do my best
Aww. Luna's concern was adorkable. :P
Today, my opinion shalt be in the form of Princess Luna.
i.neoseeker.com/mgv/574321-Liege/321/127/85521_cool_story_bro_caption_joseph_ducreux_luna_luna_ducreux_macro_meme_display.png
And that challenge, dear sir?
fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/305/c/e/princess_luna_meme_generated_by_infamous_spartan-d4ep98w.jpg
Now, I'm going to be reading this constantly instead of writing. CURSE YOU.
1333337
Good luck finding the one word out of the 4500
1333490
Time to send you a pm with every word then.
1333565
Don't make me laughcdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-celulz.png
1333580
Make you laugh? You think I'm kidding.
fim.413chan.net/art/src/130985008778-Trollestia_Mugshot_2.png
1333598
Thou shall fail at thine quest.
ts2.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=4894549735571933&id=317c80dac73dc35eaeabc7ae616dce42
1333623
Oh, my friend... You do not want to challenge me more. In fact. I think I may go insane if you do. Wait... I already am. EHEHEHEHHEHE
1332412
Not quite what I was going for, glad you seemed to enjoy it though
Okay, I noticed a lot of things in this chapter.
Incoming novel PM!
1334977
Since you asked me to comment on my thoughts of this story, on my userpage, and i totally forgot to post one here, i figure i would post it here, where it would keep some relevance.
Warning: This comment is pretty much going to go randomly all-over the place, jumping from topic to topic or idea to idea as my mind comes up with them. I find it best to just let it happen. I'm already on revision/draft
twothree, andstilllooking less horrible to me.While this might sound weird here, a minor detail in my headcannon is that Celestia and Luna don't actually have parents, and are the avatars for their respective celestial bodies. I'm not saying that them having parents is a bad thing, it just goes against my headcannon. (heh heh, i like that word, headcannon) It won't keep me from reading the story, and it honestly isn't that big of a deal to me. If you want them to have parents, then they have parents, even if said parents are deceased. You're the writer here, not me. I just like the way you write.
I absolutely adore how you seem to make the characters pop out of the 'page' for lack of a better term (though technically it is correct). They seem more lifelike than most of the stories i've read so far. Luna's reaction to finding Celestia was powerful. Not manly-tears powerful, but nearly had me tearing up. I honestly believe i would've behaved the same in Luna's position.
For some reason, while reading this bit, for the rest of the chapter, Ponyphonic's Lullaby for a Princess started playing in my head. It seemed fitting so, i thought i'd post it.
And finally, this might just be me whoring myself out here, i am up for proof-reading and/or editing if you need another set of eyes. From, well... second hand experience, it never hurts to have another set of eyes looking for those mistakes. Looking closer at the story you wrote so far, i can honestly say there are quite a few 'errors' in it, if you wish to call them that. 99% of said errors involve a missing punctuation mark after speaking or thought.
And... that's it. My brain's rambling has ceased. Take what i said with a grain of salt and a brain that jumps topics like pinkie bounces. It took me half an hour to do this one post. Just remember: write for yourself, not for others, and you'll do just fine. If anyone else picks up anything, at all from your writing, then that's icing on the cake.
Huh, it never really struck me till now how perfectly the cover image goes with the 2nd chapter.
1322946 *assumes adorkable Twilight voice* hurray! sweetie-Spike!
Also, Celestia's moments with her parents were beautiful, even if I do like my slightly less friendly idea of her upbringing quite a bit