• Member Since 24th Jan, 2022
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Miro MM

I see it all, I see it all, I see it all, I see it all, I see it all, I see it all, I see it all, I see it all, I see it all, I see it all, I see it all

Comments ( 3 )

This was great, but you've got a few mistakes.

"Im gonna go to work, so... You mind if I burrow some of the bits to get some more water? were kinda low in water at the moment, Mare-time bay had a plumbing pipe burst open yesterday" The other Sprout says

1. It should be borrow

2. It should be I'm

3. It should be Maretime Bay

"Hey, uh.. Im gonna go pick up some more food, I forget to bring them yesterday, you want anything in specific?" The other Sprout asks standing at the foot of the bed again.

4. I'm

5. forgot

6. In isn't needed

"Hey, um, Hitch and Sunny just texted me about the new movie, Its out so.. i'm gonna go watch it with them, I'll be back in 2 hours okay? See ya then!" As the other Sprout says that, His phone on the nightstand alerts him with a notification, saying the same thing the other Sprout described but he doesn't pick it up.

7. It's

8. I'm

"You know i'm probably gonna finally call that plumber, So.. do you care if the get the phone for a second ?" The other Sprout asks pointing at the phone for a second.

9. I'm

Sprout in bed reaches his hoof out grabs the phone, but another of the same phone as his, stays there in the same position like it never left, The other Sprout grabs the phone.

10. You should put 'The Sprout'

The other sprout walks into the room closing the door behind him and walking up the foot of the bed again looking concerned.

11. Sprout

"Sunny has been worried... so, I'm gonna go spend some time with her, so she wont get more stressed.." The other sprout says but Sprout in bed doesn't move and lays in bed.

12. Won't

13. More isn't needed here

14. Sprout

15. 'The Sprout'

"Hey" The other sprout asks.

16. Sprout

"I know that its been very hard, very difficult.. after what happened.. I understand, You understand... And, you should take it slow.." The other sprout says

17. Sprout

Sprout nods in bed to himself. He looks up and gets his head off the pillow, He looks at the door then to the window. He Exhales a large breath and pulls the blankets down. He sits up straight and gets out of bed. He's a little sweaty, But he grabs his phone and theres no other phone , he holds his phone and walks over to the door to his room opened He responds to Sunny And Hitch on his phone with a text , He then calls them and walks over to the window, he opens the blinds and the curtains letting sunlight in, He does the same with the other window smiling for a second before talking to Sunny and Hitch over the phone.

18. exhales

19. A large breath isn't needed here

20. there's

21. Instead of a comma it should be a full stop.

22. Remember to put 'He'

23. It should be 'the door to his room which is opened'

24. And shouldn't start with a capital letter.

25. It should be a full stop instead of a comma.

"Hi yes, I called because I've been having some problems with my shower, Like every-time I try and turn it on it like makes a weird screeching noise and doesn't turn on , no water comes out of the shower-head" He says to the Stallion on the phone

26. It should be every time instead of every-time

27. There should be a full stop instead of a comma

28. Remember to put 'No'

29. shower head instead of shower-head

30. stallion instead of Stallion

"Now I don't now exactly like what the problem is, I just know it wont turn on when I try to. I looked at it like a week ago couldn't figure it out.." Sprout says

31. know instead of now

32. Like is not needed here

33. won't instead of wont

And one last thing. You forgot to mark this as complete.

Thank you for writing all the mistakes!

I have fixed them all now :twilightsmile:

You're welcome. I'm happy to help :)

Login or register to comment