• Published 3rd Feb 2022
  • 14,079 Views, 910 Comments

A Flurry of Problems - MelodyMori



Human wakes up as Flurry Heart and tries to figure out how to either get home or adapt to Equestria

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Ch 3 - Hay Is For Horses

“Huh, she looks really peaceful when she’s sleeping.” I heard the first male voice the entire time I’ve been stuck in this stupid world as I started to wake back up. “It’s a bit....odd that she's so big tho.”

“You heard Twilight’s explanation!” I heard a more....brash female voice from wayyyy above me, as well as the sound of....flapping? “Something something Harmony something egghead.”

As much as I wanted to stay still and pretend that I was still asleep, I felt a cough slowly start building up in my throat. I tried to swallow it down but it did not help, forcing me to cough for a good ten seconds. My cover blown, I groaned and opened my eyes to see myself in a sickenly sweet pose. At some point during my ‘nap’, someone put a blue teddy bear next to me which I apparently cuddled up with.

Sitting up again I noticed that the previous ponies who were watching over me were gone, instead, there was a blue pegasus with a rainbow tail and mane flying above me and a purple dragon standing on the bed looking down on me with his green eyes. I noticed that the pegasus was buck naked like the rest of the ponies I’ve seen, bar the nurse but unlike the others, I could see her....well, I could see bits that most people would rather not like others to see.

Wait, back the fuck up. There are dragons here too!?

“D-dragon?” I stuttered without thinking before I bit my lip. “Uh, hello.” I tried to put a smile on and look friendly and hoped that it wasn’t a guard dragon or something.

“Mornin’ Flurry Heart!” the dragon said, smiling a bit too wide for something with fangs. “I heard you have amn...amne...memory problems from Twilight so you might not remember me, but I’m your Uncle Spike!”

“And I’m Rainbow Dash, the fastest mare in all of Equestria!” the pegasus proudly announced, flying over the bed.

I tilted my head at Dash, reflexively feeling my own wings twitch a bit at her flying. Frowning I sat up a bit more and let them flare out, causing Dash to wince. They looked fine enough for me apparently being in a coma for a week, but actually flexing the muscles controlling them felt....weird.

“If you’re the fastest mare, would you mind showing me how to fly?” I asked, giving her the best puppy dog eyes I could. “I can’t remember if someone showed me before and don’t want to get hurt.”

Spike raised an eyebrow at the ‘someone’ but Dash grinned as she flew down to eye-level with me. “Of course! I already have a student, but I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t help out their niece with some tricks!” She flew to the other side of the bed, rubbing her chin on the way. “Besides, not sure if I remember the last time somepony got to train an Alicorn on how to fly.”

“An alicorn?” I blinked, rubbing my chin. “What’s an alicorn?”

Rainbow tilted her head, raising an eyebrow at my question. “Uh....you. You’re an alicorn. Horn, wings, earth pony toughness.....”

I carefully reached up and touched my head, feeling my hair/mane have a part in it from a horn sticking out unicorn style. I poked it once or twice to see if it was real before finally throwing the blanket back and checking out my wings, pink coat, and tail.

Oh god, I have a tail too. At least I can fly and use magic if my ‘Aunt’ was anything to go off of. Means I can have some fun while I try to figure out how to get back home. Somehow....

“Ms. Dash, I have one more question.” I chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of my head. “Where is the bathroom?”


Walking to the bathroom had to be the strangest experience, as balancing on four legs is very different than balancing on two legs. I had to take a minute or two to get used to it, but thankfully Spike worked as a makeshift crutch to help me balance until I left the room. Dash led the way, standing nearly twice my height which made me....unhappy. The hallway was mostly empty, bar one doctor that raised his eyebrow as we passed.

“Say, Ms. Dash.” I looked up at the pegasus, catching the end of her wincing at the formality. “What exactly happened? Aunt Twilight was acting odd when I saw her, especially when I didn’t remember her.”

“Well Flurry, that’s an interesting question.” she scratched the back of her head, looking away from me before quickly running forward a bit before pointing at the door. It had what looked like a generic pony on the top, I couldn't tell the difference but I assumed it was a mare. “I think you should wait for Twilight to answer that question. I’ll wait out here while you do your business.”

I frowned at her response but shouldered the door open with my haunch, revealing a surprisingly normal single-person bathroom. The only real difference that I could tell was a toilet built to handle a quadruped instead of a biped. I grit my teeth and did my business, which was....an interesting experience for a man. Especially having to wipe, thankfully I remembered hearing that girls had to do that from Health Class. After one or two tries I figured out which one of the three buttons actually flushed the toilet before making my way to the sink.

I had to balance on my back two hooves to actually reach up to the sink, which thankfully had a mirror so I could actually see my (hopefully temporary) face. Compared to others like Dash or Fluttershy I could see I had a bit more of a babyface, and did in fact have a decently sized horn. My mane (hair?) was purple with a single light blue streak running through it, albeit it was a bit messed up thanks to my bed head. I also had slightly bigger than normal bright blue eyes, which was a bit trippy to see compared to my usual dirt brown eyes.

“Okay, so what is my plan?” I muttered to myself as I washed my hooves. “They seem to think I have amnesia and I could make that work to my advantage. But that means I have to pretend to actually be a pony, which is less than ideal...”

“You okay in there Flurry? You’ve been in there for a while.” Dash yelled through the door, slightly muffled through the surprisingly decent wood for a hospital.

“Yeah, Ms. Dash! One more minute.” I yelled back before facing my reflection again. I sighed and splashed some water on my face before hopping back down from the sink.

“Alright, time to act as Flurry-like as possible Storm. You got this. Work with them until you can figure out whose ass you have to kick to get home.” I took a deep breath and let it out before stopping before the door. I smiled to myself before leaning down, pointing my horn before me, and trying to open the door with ‘magic’ like Twilight pulled up my blanket.

The door started to glow with a faint light yellow aura as I focused my brain on opening the door. I felt a rune float by my awareness, softly glowing with the same yellow aura. I raised an eyebrow before focusing as hard as I could on the rune, causing it and the aura around the door to flare for a second, resulting in Dash yelping from outside.

BAM

The door blew off its hinges and hit the wall opposite instead of simply opening. Thankfully Dash had seen it coming and stepped out of the way so no one got hurt. Instead, she and a nurse were looking into the room, the former out of concern and the latter out of irritation. Since you know, breaking hospital property is always a good way to buddy up with the hospital staff.

“Shit!” I covered my mouth with a hoof before chuckling and rubbing the back of my head. “I, uh, may have underestimated my magic.” I smiled sheepishly at the nurse, who simply narrowed her eyes at me before turning to Dash.

“Uh...put it on Princess Twilight’s tab,” Dash told the nurse as she started to push me back to my room with one of her wings, ignoring my protests. After we got a few feet away she looked down at me and gave a very fake grin. “Nice job Squirt, but next time try to limit breaking doors to when you leave, not while you’re still there.”

Fuck me, I am too old to get ‘I am not mad at you, just disappointed’ grins. AHHHHHHHHHHH


Thankfully Dash and I returned to my room without any other craziness, other than a dirty look from the nurse as she passed by to probably return to her desk. Walking in we saw Spike reading a comic book while Nurse Redheart was setting up a tray with what smelled like food on it. Just....planty?

I really hope it's not just a salad and I can get some turkey or chicken or something. Wait, can I even eat meat?

“Oh, good you two are back.” Nurse Redheart smiled at me, waving towards the bed. “Although you shouldn’t be getting out of bed like that, Princess.”

“I give no promises, ma’am. Gotta stretch my legs and all that!” I frowned at the nickname but grit my teeth and smiled at Redheart.

Hopping back onto the bed was another matter than jumping down, but I took a deep breath and tried. And failed, since I could only jump about halfway up before scrambling with my two front hooves and falling off. I fumed for a second while Dash laughed, shooting her a dirty look before trying again. I once again couldn’t get the full way up but this time I felt something push me the rest of the way up. As I made the rest of the way up and sat down I noticed that the upwards push was Nurse Redheart’s face.

What the fuck? Did she shove her face into my ass? Gross...

While I was zoned out with my disgust Nurse Redheart took the moment to drop the tray of food in front of me. Unfortunately, there was no meat, but a shake, mashed potatoes, and scrambled eggs with what looked like brown flakes on it.

“Now I know you must be used to more fancy food, but I am sure that some scrambled eggs with hay, some mashed taters, and a hayshake will do you some good.” Nurse Redheart smiled cheerfully before stepping away to speak to Dash.

I frowned at the mush in front of me before poking the fork with my hoof. Looking out of the corner of my eye I saw Spike’s fingers as he flipped the page of his comic book before sighing at my hoof.

How am I supposed to pick this thing up? Magic, maybe? I mean hooves make no sense as hands. Man, Spike is lucky to still have fingers.

I narrowed my eyebrows before taking a breath and trying to pick up the fork with my hoof. The first two times were more of mashing against the tray before I tried to pick it up very slowly with my whole hoof on it. Was awkward and made me feel like I would drop it at any point, but I was somehow able to lift the fork with my hoof.

....hooves make no fucking sense, none of this makes any fucking sense, I want to go home.

Forcing the screaming Stephen Hawking part of me deep down I carefully picked up a bit of this egg and hay stuff and took a bite and discovered....it tasted like egg. With a hint of a vegetable taste from the hay, but nothing too groundbreaking or insane. I shrugged and dug in, now hungry as hell after getting a taste.

About two-thirds of my way through the food I decided to be brave and try the hayshake, carefully moving the straw over with a hoof. While a strange consistency, it almost tasted like a spinach shake, which is a disgusting thought but tasted strangely good. I frowned but continued to drink and eat while the ‘adults’ spoke just out of earshot. Once I was done Nurse Redheart came over and took the tray with her mouth, somehow managing to move it onto her back without breaking her neck or spilling anything.

“Nurse Redheart, when am I going home?” I whined, unfortunately wayyy too easily for my liking.

“Oh, Princess.” Nurse Redheart flicked one ear back before smiling warmly at me. “You are going to stay one more night so we can keep an eye on you to make sure you’re okay. Then your Aunt Twilight should be picking you up in the morning.”

“What about Mom and Dad?” I asked, seeing Spike grimace a bit behind his comic book. “Are they not going to visit or pick me up?”

“Don’t worry Flurry, I am sure somepony told them what happened and they’re super concerned.” Dash pushed into the conversation, waving a hoof to get my focus towards her. “But you’re being foalsat by Twilight, I and the rest of our awesome friends so don’t worry about it. If you need anything you could ask the six of us.”

“Or me!” Spike yelled from where he was sitting, indignantly flipping to the next page of his comic book.

“Er, yeah Spike too.” Dash chuckled. “Anyway, rest up Flurry. Otherwise, you won’t be strong enough for me to teach you how to fly tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay, Ms. Dash.” I smiled at the two before Nurse Redheart left and Dash went over to talk to Spike.

I crawled under the blanket and curled around the blue teddy bear, turning away from the two ponies. Out of the sight of the two of them, I let my manliness take a hit after the long day and shed a single tear, which landed on the bear.

I am going to have to pretend to be ‘Flurry Heart’. I will find a way home. If pretending to be a girly pony is the way to do it, then that is what I need to do.

The beginning of a plan set up, I smiled to myself before I settled into the hospital bed to rest. After all, they were Doctor’s Orders.

Author's Note:

Got to love when the words flow out, eh? Most likely not going to update again for the next few days, but my goal is to update once or twice a week.