• Published 23rd Dec 2011
  • 3,900 Views, 266 Comments

Three Equestrians and an Engineer - Greasebrony



A man who copes with the loss of his family befriends 3 strangers after saving them from thugs.

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A/N: I'd like to give a shout out to my main bronies Royal Guard Tactic, WinterTwister, and Azzazel. Check their pages, yo. (lol I'm so white.)


Eduardo woke from his deep sleep and rubbed his hairy forearm on his face to wipe away the sleep in his eyes. ‘Hmmm that’s strange, my arm feels hairier than usual. Meh oh well.’ He looks around the room and sees his clock on the bedside. ‘Jesus 12:30 P.M? Well Ali did do a number on me. Wait, why am I not sore? Guess one of the girls knew a healing spell.’ He got up from his bed and made his way to the bathroom to take care of his morning wood problem. He stood up feeling a little out of balance. 'Probably got up too fast.' When he got to the toilet as expected the seat was already up and all he had to do was aim and fire, never a problem for him. He went to unbuckle his jeans and found he was having some difficulty. He couldn’t feel his fingers. He looked down to see his hooves didn’t have any. In a panic he jumped in front of the mirror and flicked the lights on. What Eduardo saw from there put him into shock, unable to speak for a moment.


Jericho and Joseph showed up early that morning which was a bit unusual for them even more so when they couldn’t stop smiling. They were with Spike in the office area watching some of his videos. In the kitchen breakfast was already prepared for the 8 women and they all sat around the table discussing the movies they watched the night before.

Rarity was first to speak. “Oh my word that movie was just so so romantic and tragic.”

“I have to admit, it was very long but so well written and executed.” Said Luna.

“Hehe Hey Pinkie, draw me like one of your French girls.” Rainbow and Pinkie laughed as Rainbow struck a seductive pose.

Fluttershy was speechless and just twiddled her fork around with her breakfast salad lost in thought.

“Ferget that what about Pulp Fiction? Ah didn’t see a single fruit in there. There was just a bunch of shootin’ and folks dyin’ and whatnot.”

“It was pretty gory.” Twilight admitted. “But that was also pretty well written as well and had its funny moments.”

“That part with the, oh what was he called?” Celestia began.

“The Gimp?” Pinkie answered.

“Yes, that part was very VERY strange.”

Fluttershy dropped her fork and twitched a little.

“Yeah why was he locked in that trunk anyway?” Luna asked.

“Now that is something I can live without knowing.” Twilight giggled.

At that moment Alison walked in winded and famished.

“Alison darling what in Equestria happened to you?” Rarity asked with concern.

“Oh you wouldn’t believe the night we had.” Alison began. “Apparently there was a small riot in downtown yesterday in one of the clubs and a lot of people got hurt. Luckily it wasn’t anything serious for most of them but it was nonstop the whole night. A couple of people did get trampled on and nearly died. Thankfully we got them in time and we were able to stabilize them.”

“Wow Stiletto I think you can teach the doctors in Ponyville a little something.” Rainbow said with enthusiasm.

“I’m going to pretent I didn't hear what I thought I heard and accept the compliment.”

The girls laughed.

“I take it none of you have gone to check on Eduardo?” Alison asked.

“I did a couple of spells to help him heal faster.” Twilight said.

“Though he might be feeling a little, hoarse when he wakes up.” Rainbow laughed along with Pinkie and Twilight.

Alison looked at the three quizzically. “What did you do?”

Applejack chuckled. “Oh you’ll see.”

“AJ you too?”

“I will tell you now that Fluttershy, the princesses, Spike and myself are innocent in all this.” Rarity quickly responded.

“Wait, are-”

“They sure are sugercube.”

“Spike too?”

“Nope.”

“Um girls…” Pinkie began. “My knee is pinchy.”

At that moment everyone heard a noise followed by a loud crash up stairs in Eduardo's room and soon hearing a door slam open afterwards.

“TWIIIIILIIIIIGHT!”

“Oh will you look at the time.” Twilight said soon teleporting out of sight followed by Rainbow Dash bursting through the open skylight window Applejack running outside at full speed and Pinkie Pie leaving a puff of smoke in the seat she once sat on.

At within moments a crimson pegasus stallion landed on the warehouse floor on its hind legs and his wings flared open with a look of anger on his face checking for any signs of Twilight pointing an accusing hoof at any which direction. “WHERE IS SHE? WHERES THAT LITTLE JOKER THAT MADE ME UNABLE TO HANDLE MY OWN ZIPPER! I’LL WRING THE ANSWER OUT OF ALL OF YOU IF I HAVE TO!”

Jericho Spike and Joseph were on the floor laughing their heads off save for Alison that was chuckling to herself at the silliness that she was witness to. However Rarity, Fluttershy, Luna and Celestia stood by in the kitchen with not so subtle blushes on their faces.

“My, what a HUNK of a stallion.”

“Oooo he’s cute when he’s mad.”

“Oh…my…” *pomf*

“He does have a nice flank.”

“Hey! Get your own man!”

Eduardo looked into the direction of the office area. “OH YOU THINK THIS SHIT IS FUNNY HUH? HERES A CAN OF WHOOP ASS FOR YOU JACKASSES!”

Eduardo dove behind the desk as the men took part in a dog pile beating each other up while the women watched from across the warehouse giggling at their rough housing.


Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Twilight were hiding in a tree in a random well covered area in the woodland in the property hiding from Eduardo’s rage and laughing themselves silly.

“Oh man that was AWSOME! That was the best possible reaction we could have gotten.” Rainbow said.

“Ah’ll say that boy’s got some lungs on him that’s for sure. Ah can hear him all the way out here.” Said Applejack.

“Oh poor Joseph and Jericho.” Twilight laughed.

“Ah wouldn’t worry about them, those three seem to give each other lumps all the time.” Said Applejack.

“You think he’s going to be mad when he find out it was us?” Pinkie asked.

“PIIIIIINKIIIIIEEEE! RAINBOOOOOOW! TWILIIIIIIIGHT! APPLEJAAAACK! I RECOMMEND PISSING YOURSELF FOLLOWED BY PRAYING TO YOU IMPIDENT GOD CAUSE WHEN I GET MY HOOVES ON YOU THERE WILL BE TROUBLE!”

“Uh oh.” The four said in unison.


After Jericho and Joseph took their lumps with Spike caught in the crossfire and a very awkward moment to the restroom later. Eduardo’s cousins explained the story of how the prank came to be and who was truly involved.

“I swear Celly I never took your student for a prankster. Pinks and Dash yeah cause Spike warned me but Twilight? A bookworm like her? Never. And Applejack? She didn’t even cross my mind.”

Luna giggled. “I have to agree Tia, when did Twilight become a joker?”

“I can honestly say that this is new for her, Luna and I thought something was up but I wouldn’t have expected this.”

“I can promise you Eduardo they meant no harm by it, they just wanted to have a little fun.” Rarity said with pleading eyes.

“Yes, Rarity tried to talk them out of it but-” Fluttershy began.

“But they were too curious as to how I look in these jeans or rather WITHOUT them. Actually looking around you four were checking my out too.”

*eep*

Eduardo sighed facehoofing. “I’m sorry Fluttershy, just that it kinda chaps my hide when I need to use the head but I can’t because I can’t undo my pants. Thanks for the assist Ali.”

“Lets not talk about that okay?” Alison quickly responded.

“Aye aye, but sweetness, we gotta talk. And I mean grown up stuff too.”

“Would you like for us to give you both some privacy?” Luna suggested.

“That would be grand but I think its better if we went into my room but for now can you change me back into human?” Luna obliged and changed Eduardo back. “Thanks, now I want to sweat them a little more so when they come back find me so I can screw with them.”

“Oh of course.” Luna replied.

As they walked away and Eduardo’s cousins took their leave seeing all they came to see and Spike went to the living area to nurse his lumps and left the four women to talk amongst themselves.

“Honestly Celly were you really checking out his flank?” Luna asked

“Oh come on Luna you know I have a thing for stallion’s flanks.” Celestia giggled.

“I see why you would Princess, he is quite charming as a man. But as a stallion, oh my word.” Said Rarity.

“And handsome too.” Fluttershy added blushing slightly.


As Eduardo and Alison entered the room and closed the door behind them Eduardo was first to speak.

“Now, I’m not gonna ask a stupid question but I will lay down the facts.”

“Okay.”

“I fancy you and you fancy me.”

“Sounds about right.”

“You don’t fancy me as a horse I hope.”

Alison chuckled. “If we were both horses sure.”

“Good counter. So how about on one of your days off you and I go on a date dinner movie that bullshit deal then we have some real fun?”

“What kind of fun?” She gave him a flirtatious look as she rubbed her hands on his exposed chest.

He put his hands on her lower waist and gently puller her close. “The kind where we go for a drive and leave trails of smoldering rubber on the streets.”

“Sounds good to me, but first I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“How well insulated is this room?”

“We can hear them but they can’t hear us.”

“Good.”

With one hand she grabbed him by the belt and yanked his neck in with the other for an aggressive kiss leading him to the bed and turning out the lights.


“You think its safe to go back in?” Twilight asked.

“Ah don’t know. What do you think Pinkie?”

Pinkie was blushing holding a pair of binoculars she somehow got ahold of. “I think we should give them a few more minutes.”

“Huh? Why?” Rainbow asked.

“What do you think he's doing?” Twilight asked.

“Trust me on this.” Pinkie giggled.


When Eduardo and Alison were done having their conversation they got presentable and joined the princesses in the living area. Fluttershy was playing with the pooches and Rarity was drawing up fashion designs.

“Are they back yet?” Eduardo asked.

“Negative.” Replied Celestia.

Alison chuckled a bit. “Eddy I think that yell from earlier worked a little too well.”

“I’ll say that almost sounded like the Royal Canterlot Voice.” Celestia said.

“Royal Canterlot Voice?” Eduardo replied. “The hell is that?”

“It’s the voice we used to use to address our subjects way back when.” Luna began. “Celly here forgot to tell me we didn’t use the voice anymore and I made a foal of myself on my first Nightmare Night in Ponyville.”

“Yeah Twi told us about that. Celestia you were with your sister for a whole year and you never told her?”

“Well even royalty needs their fun.”

Luna gasped at hearing her sister say that while Eduardo and Alison chucked again at Luna’s expense. To which Eduardo and Alison were turned into ponies and Celestia was turned pink with bluish/green wings. Much to Eduardo’s surprise though, Alison looked pretty good as a pony, Navy Blue coat, blonde mane and tail, two bulges on her sides from possibly wings and deep brown eyes like pools of the purest honey.

“You’re forgiven dear sister and friends.” Luna smiled smugly.

“Damn Alison even as a mare you have a nice ass.”

“I will end you.”

“Remember when you asked if I get off on you kicking my ass?”

“I’ll make sure that happens again later tonight, only this time, one of us is getting a happy ending.”

“So that’s what you two were doing in there. Ha Luna you have to wear the bunny suit for a day.” Celestia said.

“The zap apples are worth it.” Was all Luna said.

Alison blushed a bit and smiled sheepishly while Eduardo put his sunglasses on and smiled a classic ‘deal with it’ grin.

“Hmm gotta say Ali you don’t look half bad though, really.”

“Oh just shut up you greased up speed demon.”

He looked toward Celestia and Luna. “Don't you just feel the love?”

In response Alison whipped Eduardo’s flank with her tail.

“Damn girl! Only been a pony for a few seconds and already you’re making your extra limbs as weapons.”

“Oh baby I can get used to this.”

“HEY. Not in front of royalty. My apologies your highness.”

That earned him a very precise shot at his flank with the princesses giggling at his expense. It was then Eduardo got an excellent idea for payback. He grinned mischievously as he called Fluttershy, Spike and Rarity to join them. He would need all the help he could get if this was going to pan out like he hoped.


It was nearly sun down when AJ, RD, Twi and Pinks finally started making their way into the warehouse. Throughout the day they walked the 1.8 mile track and quarter mile drag strip several times coupled with silly idle chatter and guesses on how upset Eduardo still is. As they walked to the warehouse with the exception of Rainbow Dash that opted to hover over them they noticed that inside it was dark and there wasn’t a peep. Not even the over affectionate dogs were in sight. This was a bit unnerving for the four as they walked in. The only light that could be seen was from the overhead skylights and considering the angle of the sun it didn’t provide much. They entered the warehouse with caution taking special care not to disturb the peace within. The deeper they got they noticed that nothing was out of place. The cars were parked perfectly. The truck took its place in front of the machine shop yet not a soul was found and not a sound was made that didn’t come from the girl’s footsteps.

Without warning the garage door that let them in slammed shut with the lock engaging and red lights shone from the ceiling focusing on the four women. They backed into each other properly surprised.

Rainbow Dash was first to speak. “Hehe yeah good one Eduardo you got us.”

The only response they got in return was the engines of all the cars and the truck roaring to life and driving forward all at once and casting their highbeams on the woman. The sounds of wings can be heard fluttering back and fourth throughout the warehouse soon after a song began to play, its melody was dark and combined with the ambiance they were feeling was beginning to really frighten them. They heard four loud and regal feminine voices echoing though the warehouse.

“CAST IN THE NAME OF GOD.”

“YE GUILTY.”

At that moment a hooded figure approached them slowly from behind only being noticed when he was laughing in a dark menacing fashion. At first glance they can see a scythe and the figure has sharp teeth. He began to speak in a dark and low tone as he moved his sleeve up to raise his hood.

“ASK NOT FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS.” He pulled his hood off to reveal nothing but a skull of a pony. “THE BELL TOLLS FOR THEE.” He snapped his wings open and took to the air the girls holding each other screaming terrified. He descended upon them whaling his laughter as he was about rain down upon them but when the moment came the lights went back to normal and the music changed. They looked up to see Eduardo wearing skull make up rolling on the floor laughing and pointing a hoof at them while Fluttershy, Alison, Luna and Celestia were up stairs laughing just as hard and Rarity and Spike laughing in the living area recording their reations from different angles on the laptop.

“WHAT THE HAY!?!? YOU PLANNED THIS?!?!” Twilight asked no one in particular clearly not amused.

“Sorry guys but after that stunt you pulled this morning there was no way I was letting you off the hook easily.”

“How did you set this up?” Rainbow asked.

“Well the makeup and this nifty cloak was done by Rarity and Alison, Spike was the DJ, I used to work as an electrician when I got out of high school so you can thank me for the lights and the cars were actually done by your leaders. They were already in neutral so all they had to do was start them up flick the high beams on and push them forward facing you. Which they did a seriously kick ass job.”

“Thank you thank you.” Luna and Celestia said while striking a pose and started fanning their faces.

“My mentor and her sister are in fact trolls.” Twilight said facepalming.

Applejack, Pinkie and Rainbow just chucked to themselves. “Wow that was a great prank, you really scared the hay out of us.” Rainbow said.

“Yeah Ah guess we did go a little too far with that.” AJ added.

“Okay no more pranks then.” Pinkie said.

“Meh, for now.” Eduardo chuckled. “Now Twilight can you be a pal?”

She smiled and pointed her hands at Eduardo and Alison. They began to glow in a violet aura and a moment later they were both human again.

“Alright, now that we got that settled I’ve been thinking.”

“I bet that must have hurt.” Celestia chuckled.

“Oh Princess got jokes?” Eduardo and the others laughed. “But seriously I’ve been thinking a bit about this warehouse.”

“Whats on your mind?” Spike asked.

“I think its about time we liven this place up a bit. Give it a breath of fresh air. Keep it practical yeah but just its just lacking oh how do you say…a homey feel to it.”

“You don’t mean-”

“Yes Rarity, I say its about time to start making some changes. Starting with my warehouse.”