The Quiet Kid: Day by Day

by aegishailstorm

An Unexpected Adventure

The sun set once again on Equestria, and as usual, William was up, strolling the empty streets of Ponyville, rifle in hand. Enjoying the peace and quiet. However, this time around, things where a tad bit...different, as he strolled through town, he couldn't help but notice a faint glow coming from one of the towns many restaurants. He could hear laughter and commotion.

"Seriously? I'm trying to enjoy the night in peace, the hells wrong with them?" He pulled the door aside, and peaked in. It was a setup he easily recodnized. An asortment of tables, with a small stage on the far side.

"Standup comedy, eh? I'll give it a try.I'm still curious as to what Equestrian hummor is like." He stepped inside, as soon as he did, everypony in the room turned to look at him, he could hear the crowd murmuring. Finally, he cleared his throat, and spoke.

"Well? Continue." There where no empty seats around, so he just took a seat by a grey earth pony. Who eyed him with suspicion

"So, hows your night been, enjoyed disturbing the quiet?" The pony swallowed hard, but then the head anouncer began talking.

"Put your hooves together for, Maud Pie!" William scowled.

"Pinkie's sister, or was it cousin? Eh, I can never keep these things straight." He listened as the pony began talking.

"What do you call an alicorn with no wings, and no horn?"Maud said in a monotone voice.

"Earth pony." He heard laughing from a few tables over, laughter he knew all to well.

"Pinkie." He snarled, "She's up all night doing stand up comedy, go figure."

"But seriously, being an earth pony isn't so bad. We have magic powers too, like walking around, and picking things up with our teeth." William let out a low growl of disappointment.

"With all do respect ma'am, go watch yourself a few episodes of Seinfeld before ya go up there next time." He whispered.

"That was sarcasm by the way." Pinkie let out yet another obnoxious laugh.

"My favorite thing to listen to is clastic rock. The accumulation of sediments over millennia forming to create sandstone, shale, and bracia." William chuckled.

"That was actually decent, I'll make a mental note of that one."

"It sounds something like this." She leaned in close to the mic, causing it to pulse with feedback.

"And that's my time." Pinkie rushed in from the side.

"Isn't my sister Maud the most most hilarious, entertaining, amazing comedian ever!?"The crowd burst into laugher, William, slowly stood up from his seat.

"Get off the damn stage, I'm leaving!" He called out, he made for the exit, slamming the door behind him. He heading back home, threw his front door open, bolted inside, locked it behind him, and hopped on the couch, he was asleep in a moment.

William awoke the next day, rested and grumpy as usual. He headed to his kitchen, poured himself a glass of water, grabbed a slice of cake and an apple from the fridge, sat back down on his couch, and slowly ate his meal, thinking only about his food.

"Somethings missing..." He looked down at his watch, and it hit him.

"Joey should have knocked on my door by now, oh well, I'm sure its nothing. Well, it probably is something, but if he didn't go knocking on my door, it likely isn't. He finished his meal, and threw his plate on his coffee table, swallowing the rest of his water, he peered back at his kitchen, there lay a stack of dirty dishes, dry and sticky from days of neglect.

"Well, duty calls I suppose." In a flash of light his pajamas were replaced by a CBRN hazmat suit, and a pair of black gloves, sealed airtight to the suit.

"Much better." He sliped a painting mask over his face, opened up the faucet. One by one, he washed the plates and bowls, soon falling back into a rhythm, one he hadn't felt since collage, back before he went back to Equestria, he had taken a temporary job as a dishwasher in the cafeteria, oh how he hated that job. But it had it's benefits, namely, it gave him an excuse to blast his music, usually to the enjoyment of both the kitchen staff, and the customers that passed through. That was it, that was what he had been missing all this time. It had been quite a while since he had any real music.

"I've been stuck singing parody songs to keep up with the rest of this world, I figure I more than disserve some music of my own! Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do today, I'm going back to Earth, I'm gonna gather up a collection of my favorite songs, put 'em on an mp3, hook it up to a few speakers, maybe get an extra copy for some headphones." He finished scrubbing the last dish, he rinsed it off, and headed for Twilight's castle to plead his case. He changed back into his 'casual wear' and headed out.

"Twilight, hey, Twilight, open up!" He banged on the door of her castle. It was Spike who answered.

"Hey William, what's up?"

"I really need to talk to Twilight, there's something important I need to do, and I need an alicorn's help."

"Why not just ask Joey?"

" Because, A. I don't know where he is, and, B. I need one that's... how do I put it? One that's competent in magic. I don't have time to go to Canterlot."

"Oh, alright, I'll get her." William stood in the entryway, tapping his foot. Finally, Twilght showed up.

"What is it?"

"Alright, this might be a bit much, but-"

"Let me guess, you want me to shut down the school of friendship? Not a chance."

"No, it's not that..." The tone in Williams voice grew a bit more enthusiastic.

"I was kind of hoping you could send me back to Earth, just for a little bit, not like last time, I want to grab a few of my favorite songs."

"Sure, all the more opportunity to learn about your culture!" William facepalmed.

"So, when can we go?"

"Right now, if you're ready that is..."

"Yes! Let's go!" Twilight stepped outside her castle, and lit her horn.

"Question, should I worry? If memory serves, ya don't exactly have the best record for first time spells."

"Don't worry, Celestia thought me this one herself."

"Alright." Her horn flashed white, he heard her scream as the world around them turned white for a moment, when it faded, they were standing on redwood bark, in a cluster of bushes. To their side, was a white stucco wall, one William recognized with ease. Alongside the cloudy skies, and the faint smell of the ocean blowing through the leaves.

"Welp, we're here. Humbolt university."

"You never said you lived at a university!?" William's gaze shifted back down to Twilight.

"Shhh, do you want to get cought!? Let's just find my old dorm room, grab my laptop, and get out of here." He peaked out of the bush, they appeared to be around the old dorms. Before him lay an atrium, with a white gazebo in the center. There weren't any students walking around, likely due to the fact that at this time of the day, most of them would be in class. But he wasn't taking chances. In a burst of light, his rifle, sidearm, and armor disappeared, replaced by a set of cargo pants and a dark green T shirt.

"Do you have any invisibility spells?" She nodded, and lit her horn. In a flash of purple light, she was gone.

"Good, now, a few rules, and these are very, very, important, so listen closely. 1. No talking, at all. 2. No touching anything, that includes other people, 3. Don't wander off, stay close to me. Do you understand?"

"Yes." He heard her hushed voice whisper to him.

"Good, lets go. "He waved her along. The 2 of them climbed out of the bushes, and strolled though the campus, in search of William's old dorm building. after about 5 minutes, they came to it. William swung the door aside, and walked, making sure Twilight made it though before the door shut behind them, the lobby had a few students, most didn't bat him an eye. He walked down the hallway, up the nearest set of stairs. And back down another corridor.

"Alright, here we go." William shuffled around in his pocket for a moment, and pulled out a key, he inserted it into the lock, and turned, the door swung open, and the 2 of them stepped inside. Twilight lifted her spell.

"I have so many questions." She said.

"Don't care, now, don't touch anything, I'm gonna try and find my laptop, ok?" He looked around the room.

"Ah, so many memories..." He went to his old bunk, and began looking around. He heard a key fumbling in the lock.

"Oh, ####, uh, Twilight, hide!" She jumped under the sheets of his old bed just as the door opened. It was Williams old room mate, Devan.

"What the, what are you doing in here?" He asked. "I thought you went up to Alaska, you just up and left a few weeks ago-" William stopped him.

"Listen, I left my laptop back here, where is it?"

"Oh, it in the dresser, I wasn't quite sure what to do with it, so I just kept it in there."

"Well, thanks for not selling it." He walked over to the dresser, pulled the top cabinet open, and pulled out his laptop, headphones, and a set of spare batteries.

"By the way, I've been meaning to ask you, what have you been doing up there in Alaska?"

"Eh, prospecting... and stuff." He watched as Devan's eyes slowly shifted to the bed, particularly, the vaguely equine form beneath the sheets. William watched his gaze.

"Hey, what's under there-"Without a second thought, William drew a stun gun, and shocked Devan in the neck, knocking him out cold. He heaved his body of the ground onto the nearest bunk.

"Sweet nightmares." He turned to Twilight.

"What just happened?"

"No time, just a nosey room mate, let's go back to Equestria, I got what I came for." He gestured to the laptop. She lit her horn, the world went white for a second, and just like that, they where back in Equestria. He looked up at the skies. Then swiched back to his armor, once more setting his trusty Glock 19 in his holster.

"Ah, this place 'll never get old, see ya Twilight."

"By William, glad I could help!" William walked back off towards his house. Triumphantly carrying his laptop under his arm.