Say What?!
Rainbow Dash never really got too excited by Hearth’s Warming Eve as a filly. Not that she hated it or anything. After all, who wouldn’t enjoy getting free stuff, eating until you couldn't move, and washing it all down with the best cider ever to come out of Sweet Apple Acres? No, it was mainly due to the fact that showering her with gifts, attention, and praise wasn't all that different from how her parents treated her every other day of the year. Same stuff, just with a red and green bow on it.
She developed a new appreciation for the holiday once she got a bit older and started actually talking to ponies instead of just bragging to them about how awesome she was. Which she was. Still is, in fact. As the years went on, the lesson drilled into her head by every Hearth’s Warming Eve play ever finally took root: the holiday was more about spending time with family and friends than gifts and food. Hence why she sat in the Apple family’s living room all these years later, hoping that friends might become family by the end of the night.
Rainbow let out a contented sigh after taking a light sip from her tankard of cider. A “light sip” instead of her usual “massive chug” because she had been explicitly told that there wasn’t much to go around this far into the year. With nothing else to do and a lot of time to do it, she fidgeted a little, settling into the weathered couch that sat along the wall. Between the squeaky springs, multiple lumps, and being about two years older than dirt, it wasn’t the most comfortable seat in the world. When she felt Applejack subtly flick her tail against her hip, Rainbow shot her a tiny grin. The slight blush on the farmgirl’s cheeks reminded her why she didn’t mind the lumpy couch all that much.
For a mare who prided herself on being the fastest thing in the sky, Rainbow had been pretty slow to acknowledge her feelings for Applejack. She always respected her as a peer, as anypony who could pose an athletic challenge to Rainbow Dash was obviously worthy of note. Ever since that fateful day nine years ago when the moon refused to set, she considered Applejack to be one of her closest friends. Right after Twilight's coronation, she finally admitted to herself what she had kind of known for years. After the dozenth or so time the world almost ended, the time for nerves had passed.
They told their friends about their relationship during their last trip to visit Twilight in Canterlot. Unsurprisingly, they were thrilled for the two of them, though it did somewhat annoy Dash that none of them acted the least bit shocked. Had they been spying on her and AJ? Pinkie had bombarded them with questions about the inevitable party once they revealed it to everypony else. Rarity nearly assaulted them with design options for wedding dresses, which were far too premature for Applejack’s taste and far too frilly for Rainbow’s. Fluttershy alternated between tears of joy over her oldest friend finding love and fits of giggles over imagining Zephyr Breeze’s reaction to the news. Twilight had simply hugged them both and wished them happiness. The only reaction that could be considered "negative" came from Spike, who snarked that he gave them five months of living together before they killed each other. Unfortunately for Spike, he had mouthed off while standing in front of one of the throne room’s many large windows.
Fortunately for Spike, he was an adept flier by then. It also helped that dragons have steel hard scales immune to both shod hooves and shards of glass.
The only remaining “hurdle” was their families. Dash elected not to tell her parents until the rest of their friends and family knew. After all, once Bow and Windy knew, the entire world knew. As for the rest of the Apple clan, AJ asked that she be the one to tell them when she felt the time was right, which she assured Dash would not be long. Why the hesitance, though? After all, she couldn’t imagine any of the Apples having any sort of negative reaction. However, when Applejack told her that Dash would be the first mare she ever “brought home,” it made a tad more sense. Dash let out a tiny snort, remembering the somewhat awkward way Applejack had explained that she didn’t consider herself to be bisexual, more... Rainbow-sexual. Dash completely understood, telling her that everypony was at least a little Rainbow-sexual. She had then learned exactly how much a cowboy hat could hurt when thrown with sufficient force.
And so, due to the “secret” nature of their relationship, they sat on the lumpy couch with a respectable distance between them, Dash having used an excuse of her parents being in Vanhoover for the holidays as cover for her presence. After a fittingly massive Apple family Hearth’s Warming dinner, which left Dash feeling the need to loosen a belt she wasn’t even wearing, the group retreated to the living room, where a companionable silence had reigned for—a quick look to the clock above the fireplace—nearly twenty minutes. It honestly didn’t surprise Dash all that much. When one of your family members was famous for being silent as a bump on a log, a lack of small talk was expected.
Well, “lack of speaking of any kind” would be a better term, though there were plenty of sounds to be heard. The fireplace along the wall cracked gently, taking the chill out of the cold winter air. To Dash’s left, Granny Smith’s ancient rocking chair creaked as the matriarch gently swayed in time with her tuneless humming, her eyes making slow passes between everypony in the room and a content smile on her face.
From Dash’s right came the occasional giggle from the foals in the room. Next to the fireplace, Apple Bloom and her kinda-sorta-boyfriend Tender Taps were reading over a script on the floor between them, a paper plate covered in the remains of fritters and cookies beside. Apparently, they were rehearsing backstage hoof signals for Tender’s recital next month, where Apple Bloom volunteered to help out behind the curtain. Every now and then, Tender would make some odd gesture with his hooves. Apple Bloom would think for a moment, then point to a place on the script, usually earning a beaming smile from the colt. Good thing she was learning. Hearing her twangy voice yelling behind the curtain would probably spoil the playgoing experience.
Directly next to the couch was Scootaloo, whose aunts really were out of town, so of course she was spending the holiday with her honorary big sister. She sat next to Featherweight, her totally-not-boyfriend-so-please-stop-calling-him-that-what-do-you-mean-I’m-blushing-I’m-not-blushing-you’re-blushing. Both sat on their haunches having a silent if somewhat halting conversation. In the two years since they started dat... hanging out together, Scoots had made pretty good progress learning the pegasus variant of Equestrian Sign Language. She watched as Feathers fluttered his wings, flicked his ears, twitched his eyebrows, and gestured with his hooves. She would then think for a moment before responding in kind, usually earning a beaming smile of her own, though judging by the amount of embarrassed giggles, she still had a lot to learn.
Finally, seated on the floor directly opposite Applejack and Rainbow Dash were the newlyweds. Sugar Belle held a pair of knitting needles in her magic, but she obviously didn’t have a very good eye for it. The sweater—at least it looked like a sweater—was far too small for her to wear. It wouldn't even fit Apple Bloom! Her head nestled in the crook of Big Macintosh’s beefy neck, he would occasionally lean down and give her a peck on the cheek, earning a blushing giggle and a nuzzle. Not too long ago, Dash would have gagged at the sappy display. Now, however, seeing it made her long to do the same with Applejack. Though it would have to be reversed for them, as AJ was a bit larger than Dash’s petite frame, a fact that to this day she used to tease her. Dash always shrugged it off, saying she'd rather be aerodynamic than a tank. She really was becoming more familiar with how much pain a ten-gallon hat could inflict.
All in all, the scene in the farmhouse was humble, wholesome... and gradually getting on Rainbow’s nerves.
There were precious few times when Rainbow Dash felt okay slowing down, and while a happy moment with her friends and possibly someday family was one of them, the lack of dialogue was making the fur on the back of her neck itch. Not to mention being unable to cuddle with her marefriend, an activity she’d grown quite fond of over the past few weeks. Right as the clock showed that thirty minutes had passed without a single word, Dash decided enough was enough. She would never break her promise to Applejack, but if she started a conversation about relationships, maybe the topic could be breached naturally. She could ask Mac if he and Sugar Belle had considered moving into their own home, or ask Apple Bloom how Tender Taps’ last performance was, or in any way insinuate that Scootaloo enjoyed Featherweight’s company. She opened her mouth...
Big Macintosh cleared his throat first, the sudden baritone nearly making Dash fall off the couch. It wasn’t the dry, sputtering sound of some cider gone down the wrong pipe, but a purposeful noise, declarative. The kind of meaningful, attention-getting sound that preceded a big announcement of some kind. Dash was immediately curious, and after a shared look with Applejack, it appeared she wasn’t the only one. Indeed, a quick glance around the room showed that everypony had ceased whatever they were doing, and all eyes fell on Big Mac and Sugar Belle.
The pair still sat on the floor, and judging solely by their posture, whatever they were about to say was big. Mac seemed to freeze under the sudden scrutiny, though a brief nuzzle from Sugar Belle appeared to steel his nerves. Taking a few moments to collect himself, Mac opened his mouth only to pause. His lips pantomimed words for several seconds, though eventually he let out a tiny sigh and settled on smiling. He scanned across the room, making eye contact with everypony in turn, then took another breath. Both he and his wife blushed as he briefly cast his eyes up at the second floor which held each of their respective bedrooms.
A breathy cackle came from Granny Smith, who seemed to be looking at Mac and Sugar Belle even more intently, which caused Sugar Belle to blush right along with her husband while setting down her knitting needles on top of the obviously undersized sweater with a faint click. Dash’s brow creased when Applejack made an exaggerated shuddering sound, her shivering body offset by her wide grin, which earned a tiny snort and an eye roll from Big Mac.
Dash’s confusion grew when she heard a childish giggle. Apple Bloom was blushing slightly while staring at Mac, which for some reason only enhanced the flames on his own cheeks. Beside Apple Bloom, Tender Taps looked just as confused as Rainbow felt, though when Apple Bloom leaned over and whispered in his ear, he too began blushing and giggling. What was going on? Why was everypony acting like some kind of secret had been revealed? Rainbow had spent a decent amount of time around the Apple homestead, but she couldn’t recall something like this ever happening before. Maybe she had just missed it? Or it had been too boring to notice.
Once the giggling and/or shuddering had subsided, everypony focused back on Big Mac. This time, however, he didn’t seem nervous at all. In fact, Dash noticed his cropped tail twitching, and though his blush had dimmed a bit, his entire body seemed to perk up, almost giving the appearance that he was floating. He turned to Sugar Belle, and when she gave him a warm smile and nodded ever so slightly, Mac let out a sharp breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them back up, they shimmered from unshed tears, though his smile was so wide it threatened to break off his face, and the warmth radiating from it could have melted all the snow on Sweet Apple Acres. He reached over and placed his hoof on Sugar Belle’s, who covered it with her other as a warm tear snaked down her cheek.
The room felt still as death for a moment. Just as Rainbow opened her mouth to ask what was happening, Applejack’s tankard of cider hit the ground with a thud, accompanied by a very loud gasp. Whipping her head around, Dash saw Applejack covering her mouth with both hooves and a growing wetness in her eyes. She gave a quick, shaky nod of her head, and Mac responded with a slow and confident one of his own. Applejack let out a choked sob and lunged forward, leaping off the couch with such force it swayed back on its hind legs for a moment. She crossed the room in less than a blink and slammed into Mac and Sugar Belle, wrapping them in a fierce hug as Mac let out a half-groan, half-chuckle.
Looking to her left, Rainbow saw Granny Smith also had tears running down her grinning face. She didn’t move from her rocking chair, but Dash noticed that she wasn’t looking at Mac anymore. She followed her gaze to the largest picture on the mantle above the fireplace: Bright Mac and Pear Butter standing on the farmhouse porch with a teenage Big Macintosh, a preteen Applejack, and an infant Apple Bloom.
Rainbow Dash was beginning to get a little pissed off. What the hell was happening right now?! She knew Big Mac could communicate a lot with just his expression and body, but this felt like some big, deep conversation had just taken place. She got the distinct feeling that the Apples’ entire world had just changed in some way, and she was left sitting there with a wing up her tail. She heard a tiny gasp to her right and turned to look.
A wide, almost dopey smile was spreading across Apple Bloom’s face as she watched her older siblings embrace and weep. She wavered on her hooves, like whatever the hell was going on was overwhelming her, then fell roughly to her haunches, body still rocking a bit. Beside her, Tender Taps let out a loud gasp of his own and leapt to his hooves as Apple Bloom fell from hers. His wide, panicked eyes raced back and forth across the room looking for... something. He snatched the paper plate that had been between them and used it to fan Apple Bloom. This had the side effect of spraying crumbs and leftover bits of frosting all over her face and mane. Sputtering under the crumbly assault, she frantically batted the plate out of his hooves and stood. She glared at him as he weakly smiled, then reached over and gently boxed his ear, causing him to wince.
Rainbow turned to look over at Scootaloo, who looked just as lost as Rainbow felt. Featherweight, on the other hoof, was all but bouncing on his hooves, smiling his buck-toothed grin for all the world to see. Scootaloo noticed and arched an eyebrow. Still beaming, Featherweight flapped his left wing three times, while his ears flicked back and forth in a deliberate pattern. The feathers on his right wing ruffled, then he stomped his left forehoof on the ground twice.
Scootaloo’s brow furrowed as she tried to process his words. She gave a slight nod, and Featherweight repeated himself, albeit a bit slower this time. Several moments later, Scootaloo’s face lit up. Wings buzzing so hard she left the ground for a split second, she whirled around to Apple Bloom, giving a hesitant nod. When Apple Bloom returned the gesture, there was a pause before both fillies grinned and raced to join the teary cuddle pile in the middle of the floor.
A good minute passed while Dash stood there dumbfounded. The only sounds in the room were sniffles, sobs, and the crackle of the fireplace. She glanced over at the colts, hoping to find solidarity in ignorance, but both were smiling as widely as their fillyfriends had been, which only confused Dash more. How did Featherweight even tell Tender Taps what was happening?!
Finally, the huggle session ended, and every pony slowly released one another. Applejack looked at Sugar Belle one final time, taking her hoof and giving it a firm squeeze, which earned another heavy sniffle from the unicorn. Big Mac leaned down to nuzzle Apple Bloom, who then raced back to Tender Taps’ side and gave him a hug of his own. As the colt somewhat melted into the embrace with a goofy grin, Applejack stepped back next to Rainbow. She gave her a smile and a firm nod, then faced the rest of the room.
Alright, enough was enough. Dash was sick of this weirdness. She opened her mouth, but Applejack cleared her throat. While it wasn't nearly as baritone as her brother’s had been, it nevertheless carried the same declarative tone, and similarly got everypony’s attention. Rainbow face-hoofed as it began again. Everypony was now standing, and as Applejack’s call for attention set in, Dash suddenly felt a bit nervous. Why, she could not say, as she loved being in the spotlight, though normally because of how awesome she was, not how confused she felt.
In a perfect mirror of Big Mac before her, Applejack stood like Fluttershy in a fashion show for a few seconds before shaking her head and letting out a harsh breath. Applejack’s lovely green eyes scanned across their warm and eager faces, pausing just a hair longer when she locked eyes with Granny Smith. The elder mare cocked her head like a dog, her brow creased and eyes somewhat squinted.
Applejack opened her mouth, only to pause and give Dash one more loving gaze. Despite herself, Dash found herself blushing just a hair. Taking one final steadying breath, she locked eyes with everypony in the room and then nodded towards Big Mac and Sugar Belle. Mac’s eyebrow quirked up when Applejack did so, and his head also tilted to the side. Rainbow could see the base of Applejack’s twitch when she flashed a final warm smile at her family, then took a single sidestep towards Dash, bringing them inches apart. Rainbow wanted to close the distance and feel AJ’s warm body against hers, but she refused to let slip the secret—
Sugar Belle gasped, her face lighting up like the Hearth’s Warming tree in the corner. Beside her, Big Mac let out an extremely loud sigh, dramatically sinking to his haunches and rolling his head to the side, giving Applejack a sideways glance. Applejack tensed up and glared back at him. Deceased cookware couldn’t have deadpanned harder than he did as he rolled his eyes and stared. Applejack raised a hoof and opened her mouth, only to pause, huff, and shoot back a lopsided smirk.
As if on cue, Rainbow once again heard a gasp off to the side, accompanied by an almost angry sounding buzz. Scootaloo was all but vibrating when she turned to meet Apple Bloom’s gaze. The pair of slack-jawed fillies stared at each other, gesturing back and forth between the two with their hooves. At some unseen signal, the two ran towards each other and embraced, laughing and cheering as they twirled around the room. Tender Taps stepped over to Featherweight, nodding his head towards the fillies with a lopsided smirk. Feathers responded in kind and raised a hoof to speak, only for orange and yellow forelegs to yank the colts into the cyclonic hug.
As she watched the fillies shriek and laugh and the colts scream and cry, Rainbow became aware of somepony standing in front of her. She almost cried out when she turned and saw Granny Smith’s face inches from hers. She glared at Rainbow through squinted eyes in a way that made her pinion feathers twitch. Rainbow had of course seen the Apple matriarch angry before, even furious, but the way she was looking at her now was... cold, or detached. It honestly reminded her of Spitfire when she inspected the Wonderbolts’ dress uniforms prior to a public appearance. Regardless of what she labeled it, Rainbow felt as if she stood before some ancient goddess of judgment, her very soul on trial.
Rainbow actually did yelp when Granny reached up, grabbed her face in both hooves, and yanked her down to eye level with the hunched mare. Granny’s meticulous gaze worked up, down, and around Rainbow’s face, scrutinizing her every inch. When she lifted Rainbow’s cheek to inspect her back teeth, Rainbow was too dumbfounded to resist. Granny then roughly shoved Rainbow’s head lower still, and Rainbow could feel her hoof working through her mane as if looking for something. She even took the time to work Rainbow’s ears back and forth.
Granny released her hold on Dash’s face, which she took as a sign it was okay to raise her head. Her tongue poking out the side of her mouth, Granny reached back and grabbed Dash’s left wing, pulling it away from her body just a bit and flexing it up and down. When she released the appendage, Dash fluttered the wing several times while Granny continued to peer into her soul. Nothing happened for a few eternal moments. Finally, Granny Smith smiled at her, a warm and familial smile, then carefully leaned in and took Dash into a hug. Rainbow heard Applejack give another choked sob, then she leaned in and brazenly kissed her on the cheek before joining the hug. Barely a moment later, the hug became crushing as Big Mac’s beefy forelegs wrapped around all three of them, followed closely by Sugar Belle easing her way into the embrace. A pair of loud coos, and all four foals threw themselves right into the mix.
Rainbow found herself in the middle of a massive cuddle, tears of happiness and giggles of delight wafting through the air. And there, in the arms of her beloved and her beloved’s family, Rainbow Dash finally found her voice.
“What the fuck just happened?!”
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Alternate title for overseas release: The Story Inadvertently Designed to Enrage Captain Unstoppable.
Thank you so much for reading! Dreadnought, I truly hope I delivered on your request, and that it put a smile on your face. To you and everyone else who took the time to read this, have a Merry Christmas. God bless!
i.imgur.com/LIsUgGw.png
Art by Edward256
11094236
Reminds me of the compromise I reached with Cap reached on another story.
“Do ya know Rainbow Dash?”
“In this universe, she’s dating Applejack.”
Mac blinked a few times, but then chuckled. “Atta girl.”
11094776
That the Burn Notice story? Good times.
That was a damn good story. I'm almost ashamed to admit that I only realised after all the characters did
Okay, that ending got a laugh out of me.
11094824
Mission accomplished then!
11094807
D'aww, thanks. Yeah, I was a bit worried that I made it too vague what was being "said." In the end, I just decided to trust the reader.
Thank you both so much for reading!
Rainbow! Language!
This must be what it would be like to be married into a deaf family.
But a well written story nonetheless.
11094839
Hey, it's the only line of dialogue in the story. I had to make it punchy!
Thanks again for your help, and the awesome art!
Makes perfect sense...
Dash, being Dash, would take silence as an opportunity to fill the room with...well, more her.
There are many things you can say about Rainbow Dash. The ability to read the room is NOT one of them...
And Granny giving a good look at Dash's teeth was...charming...
Good to see you back, brah...!
11094236
I am much enraged.
11095808
much enrage.
so angry.
wow.
Haha, love this!
11120381
I'm very glad you did!
Just got to this. Pretty damned funny. Excellent little romp through Dash's mind and the new family.
11263157
Aw, thank you so much for reading! I'm truly glad you got a giggle out of it.
Nonverbal communication and Rainbow Dash go together like peanut butter and uranium. Hilarious use of subtext even as the perspective character is trying her best just to read the text Thank you for it, and a belated Merry Jinglemas.
11848450
Thank you so much, my dude! It was a bit of a struggle to both A) get across what was being communicated, and B) maintain legitimate reasons why no one was talking.
Your praise made my day!