Ch 14 - ...Even the ashes.
Five hundred faces flashed through my head, each twisted into an ugly expression of fear or rage.
A dark blue pegasus, a grinning orange unicorn, a screaming green earthpony, they were all living beings, living beings that I melted down like candle wax and withered away without a care in the world.
I remembered ripping wings off of their backs, I remembered boiling their blood, I remembered reducing them to nothing.
Why?
Even in my head my voice croaked and rasped.
My mental landscape was a desert of cracks that spiderwebbed across the ground.
A dried riverbed ran through the center of the landscape and disappeared between the ashy gray mountains in the distance.
Even the sky was infected with gray smoke that swirled like an angry whirlpool.
I thirsted for happiness, for comfort, for blood.
No.
My teeth ached as I remembered the satisfying give of flesh that I tore from their hides.
No!
I salivated at the thought of the crunch of snapped bones.
“I am not a monster!”
My words yanked me from the empty wasteland of my mind and threw me back into reality, on a mountain of corpses.
My snout felt sticky and I could see that my fur was matted.
New lines of wetness began to streak down my cheek as I whispered.
“I’m not a monster.”
Every muscle in my back blazed with a searing pain that seeped all the way through my body to stab at the inside of my chest.
My legs clenched and unclenched in spams that made the muscles shiver. My skull was stung by five hundred different tiny pinpricks while a frosty chill froze my brain solid.
But who laughs at slaughter?
My breathing quickened and I screwed my eyes shut.
What kind of person smiles at the butchering of people?
I clenched my fists as I jammed my head into what I thought was the ground.
Why would anyone consider this good?
My nostrils were invaded by the salty sweetness of blood and I recoiled.
Only monsters want this.
I glanced around the pile that I sat in.
Only monsters seek this out.
I saw the glassy eyes of my victims and felt a friendly warmth that tried to grow in my mind, to tell me that this killing was right, that this was fine, that this was good.
Only monsters enjoy this.
My thoughts were interrupted by a gasp from above me.
I could sense their shock turn to fear as the tension in the air shifted.
Then they screamed.
I sighed as I heaved myself into the air with a burst of magic.
I saw a pegasus dashing away from me at speeds that reduced her to a blur to my eyes.
I landed at the bottom of the pile and began to cast the illusion again, to don the mask of Pathfinder once more.
I’m tired.
As I worked, my shoulders loosened, my legs stopped aching, and my back stopped burning.
However, the weighted blanket covering my mind remained.
My eyes drooped as I began my descent from the top of the mountain of skeletal corpses.
Who to confront first, the angry town, or the children?
I began walking towards the town gate. It was far, far enough to make the ponies around it look like ants, far enough that the copious amounts of red were barely noticeable, far enough for the scene to appear peaceful were it not for the distant wails that rode the wind.
I saw the edges of my vision fade to an angry orange as I smelled imaginary fire and heard the screams of pain turn to shouts of anger.
Do I face the pitchfork?
I stopped for a moment to jam my eyes closed in a desperate attempt to get rid of a new image, an image of cowering children.
Or the eyes?
I continued my trek with my eyes closed for several moments, but when I neared the town I let them slide open again to see the carnage around me.
There was no red, no blood, no gore, just the green of grass and the white of bones.
Skeletons littered the grassy field and I had to tread carefully to avoid stepping on one corpse or another.
I felt the mental blanket and the false warmth of madness return.
‘You should feel pride.’ It whispered
‘Is it not right to defend one’s home?’ It reasoned.
‘And defend it you did, you are a hero.’ It lied
However, I knew that those thoughts were false.
Pride is a double-edged sword, it can lead to people striving to do amazing, wonderful things, or it can lead to them doing monumentally stupid and horrible things.
It is fine to defend one’s home but this wasn’t defense, this wasn’t me shielding the populace from violence, this was butchery plain and simple.
I did not defend, I was not a hero.
I was in front of the gate now, staring past the broken doors, past the blood-splattered walls, and up into the tired eyes of a guard.
She stared back with blank gray eyes, eyes with lines that probably weren’t there yesterday, eyes that just wanted to close.
I spoke.
“May I enter?”
Suddenly her pupils gained a new spark and she scanned me with a sudden burst of consciousness.
“Who are you?”
“Pathfinder.”
She squinted at me.
“I don’t remember seeing you round town.”
“How in Tartarus haven’t you? I’ve been exterminating the plundervines for months!”
She cocked an eyebrow.
“Doesn’t change the fact that I-”
The guard was cut off by one of her colleagues.
“Shut it, Rose, I know em.”
Wait, is that…?
Hotshot’s head popped out from over the wall’s top.
“How’s it goin?”
I forced a smile.
“Terribly, but better than what I assume you had to deal with.”
He smiled back at me but I could see the lines of strain that ran from the corners of his mouth.
“Yeah, the whole lot of us would be dead if some damnable force o’ nature hadn’t come through and chewed through the enemy faster than Dirk chewed through…”
Hotshot’s smile dropped.
“Ya know what I mean. Here, I’ll let ya in.”
So they didn’t notice… Should I try to keep the lie going?
He turned around.
“Open what’s left of the gates, it’s a friend on the other side.”
Wait, where’s Dirk?
I called up to Hotshot.
“You looked… off when you mentioned Dirk, did something happen?”
Hotshot turned towards me again.
“Oh something happened alright, the traitorous low-life went turncoat on us! Damn near cost us the fight. I’m glad that somepony thought it a good idea to take his head off his shoulders… Though I admit carrying the thing all the way outta town was a bit strange.”
He shook his head before turning back to the inside of the town
“What’s taking so long?”
A squealing grinding sound emitted from something behind the wall but the doors didn’t budge.
A voice called from inside.
“Sorry Hotshot, Gate’s done.”
My friend sighed.
“Go get a rope then we’ll-”
“There’s no need, I can just teleport in. I just come in through the gate because it’s polite.”
When I finished speaking, I disappeared in a flash of light before reappearing on the other side of the wall.
The guard that was standing by the opening mechanism stumbled back at my sudden appearance before eyeing me.
“Hey, you look familiar…”
I forced another smile.
“W-well I’ve been getting around recently, I’m the local plundervine exterminator.”
The guard just squinted at me before I decided to move on.
I trotted through the surprisingly clean streets, there was still some blood that stained the cobblestones but the bodies were gone.
A few ponies traveled the wide cobbled road while casting glances in every direction.
Some trotted, some stalked, some flitted from shadow to shadow.
However, no pegasi flew through the skies.
While I traversed the streets I began to hear the echoes of laughter, the faint drone of a crowd, the happy conversation of friends.
I looked around and saw only memories, the ghosts of ponies that used to walk through the streets with confidence.
I saw the false images of carts selling wares, of vendors advertising their stock, of ponies rushing to anything they deemed a good price.
I found myself in front of the transparent visage of Carrot Top, the local mare for anything carrot-related.
I went to touch the cart, to see if it was real in a vain hope for normalcy, and my delusions blew away in a passing gust.
Every little ghost blinked out of existence, their essence smeared into the background of reality by a spectral wind.
I let my eyes droop before continuing.
A draft of air wafted the smell of old blood into my nose and I began to salivate.
No, I’m not a monster!
The thought of eating a sapient being made my gut clench and almost drove me to vomit.
I’m not a monster!
I’m not a monster.
I’m not a monster.
I kept repeating that mantra in my head as my eyes watered from the stinging reminders that bored through my skull. Faces, memories, and regrets, all flashed through my head as the recent horrifying events replayed over and over in my head.
I’m not a monster!
They melted so easily.
Unwanted thoughts pierced through my shielding mantra and warred with my assertions.
I’m not a monster.
Their flesh was so easy to tear.
My headache worsened as I could almost feel my brain split in two.
I’m not a monster.
Too easy.
However, I managed to banish the madness with a final mental shout as I arrived at the orphanage.
I killed the monsters, there’s none left!
I took a moment to slow my heart rate and catch my breath before I assessed the damage.
The windows were shattered, the door flattened, and the insides were no doubt a mess. I sighed as I stepped in.
The floor was the only thing that was left alone.
There were numerous holes punched through the hallway walls, making them resemble a corridor of a changeling hive.
In every room that I passed through the furniture was shattered or torn apart before being spread around the room like butter.
The kitchen’s cabinets were ripped out of their holdings, the utensils were bent, and the sink was missing.
I stopped to admire the dedication.
Holy hell that pegasus was angry.
Then I walked upstairs, or I would have if they weren’t reduced to a vaguely wedge-shaped pile of splinters.
I was forced to teleport up before continuing.
The hallway was much the same as the one below except the odd scrap of paper could be found, the only reminder of the art the children had made.
The communal colt’s bunkroom had a floor covered in scrap wood, nails, and glass from the window.
The filly’s room was a mirror of the colt’s but with pink walls instead of blue.
Lastly, I found both the kitchen and bathroom sink stuck inside the toilet which now lay on its side.
At least it was a purely magical thing so I didn’t have to worry about water damage or the like.
Why would he do this? I can understand being angry, but this is ridiculous.
I stood still for a time.
The laughter of children rang through the hall until I turned to see the wreckage that remained.
I burst into laughter with tears running down the sides of my face.
This can’t be real!
But it is.
It’s just too different, too out of the blue.
But it happened.
I’m Typhon, I’m Pathfinder and I’m no monster
Lies.
I laughed as long as I could, only stopping when my lungs felt like lead and my throat felt raw.
I dropped to the floor as I panted.
With a maddened grin, I let chaos flow through the air.
The toilet was righted, the kitchen sink unmade, and the bathroom sink returned.
Smashed glass floated back into place before fusing into the mirror that hung over the recently repaired sink.
I trotted through the hall and let a tidal wave of magic sweep through, fixing holes, uncrumpling paper, and removing stray splinters.
The children’s rooms were fixed when clouds of wood, fabric, and nails came together to form furniture.
The planks of the stairs reformed before jamming themselves into place once more. The pieces of the railing flew back to where they belonged and were fused to the stairs.
The second hallway’s walls had their holes filled in as I passed through.
The living room's furniture was restored as I glanced inside. I unbent the kitchen utensils as chaos reinstalled the cabinets and sink.
There, nothing changed, nothing changed at all.
Everything’s fine.
I’m fine!
The voice that hated me, my voice, hadn’t chimed in. The warmth had spread from my chest to my head. Everything was so warm, so fuzzy, so perfect.
I was alive, the important people were alive, the rebels were dead!
Everything's perfect, nothing’s wrong at all!
But Helga’s dead.
My voice had returned, my logic, my reason, my enemy.
Yes, but she wasn’t important.
Really, then why are you crying?
I am not!
Then what is that running down our cheeks?
I popped a mirror into existence and looked myself in the face.
It’s water, water I tell you!
That’s a lie.
No, no it’s not!
Stop shouting, I can hear you just fine.
Get out of my head!
My madness froze before slowly sliding from my head. The warmth sunk through my throat and settled in my gut.
I gasped while I sat down for a moment.
The hardwood of the kitchen floor was a solid sensation, something tangible that I could rest my sanity on.
I focused on the grainy feeling of the wood and let the rest of my surroundings fade away.
This is real.
I am sane.
I’m…
I paused before giving up on the thought.
I shook my head before trotting back to the living room and stared into empty space for a time.
Do I want to face them yet?
A few seconds of contemplation later and I ripped open a portal to the safe house.
Another few seconds passed before a tiny hoof poked out from the portal followed by a foal tumbling through.
I smiled while I picked up the giggling miniature pony.
The little colt smiled as I let him float through the air in circles around my head.
A few moments later another came, but before anymore crossed the portal Ms. Heart stepped through.
Her hair had strands sticking out in every direction, bloodshot eyes, and several new nervous tics that made her twitch in various places.
She scanned the room for a moment before her gaze snapped onto me. Her eyes went wide before she lunged.
“You’re safe, you’re safe, you're safe! Thank Celestia, you're safe!”
Her bone-crushing hug was cutting off my oxygen but I managed to respond.
“Yes, I’m fine, but please stop crushing my windpipe.”
She gave me one last squeeze that actually cracked a rib before backing off while tears ran down her face.
“I was so worried!”
She glanced around before she frowned.
“Where’s Helga? You said that you’d find her.”
I sat down and my shoulders sagged. I felt my eyes start to tingle again.
“Sugarplum didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me, tell me what?”
I sighed.
“She’s…”
I trailed off.
“She’s what?”
Ms. Hearts' worry was bleeding into her voice.
“She’s d-”
The words caught in my throat and Ms. Heart screamed at me.
“She’s what?”
I managed to force the message out in a quiet croak.
“Dead.”
“What?”
“Dead, she’s dead, Helga’s dead because some stupid fucking unicorn purist killed her!.”
My shout sent Ms. Heart stumbling back and the children all froze to stare at me.
“W-what, dead? No, she can’t be dead, she can’t be!”
I looked at the ground as I began to cry again.
“Yet she is.”
Ms. Heart snarled while fresh tears ran down her face as well.
“What. Happened.”
“A damned unicorn purist. You know the type, they don’t care about anybody but other ponies. Griffons? Evil. Dragons? Monsters. Kirins? Horrid abominations that shouldn’t have ever existed.”
Venom dripped from my voice as I ranted.
Ms. Heart growled.
“Where is that bucker! I’m going to rip his throat out, I’m going to tear his horn from his head, I’ll-”
I clamped her mouth shut with my magic while pointing at the children around us before addressing them.
I saw several children, including Sugar Plum staring at us with wide eyes and gaping mouths.
“Please ignore what she just said, she is very angry right now. Now, I want all of you to go to your rooms, and try to find something to do while Ms. Heart and I have a nice chat.”
My smile was faker than the illusion that I wore and even the children could see through it.
My gaze followed them out the door as even the most curious of the bunch streamed towards the familiarity of their rooms.
I cast a series of privacy spells just to be sure.
“Who killed Helga?”
Ms. Heart’s face was twisted into a murderous scowl.
“Do you believe in an afterlife, Ms. Heart?”
She tilted her head.
“What the buck does that have to do with my question?”
I looked down.
“Just answer it please.”
Her scowl deepened.
“Yes, the Elysium fields. Helga’s probably flying around there already and so is the monster that killed her. Everyone is forgiven, everyone is allowed in.”
She snarled again.
“No matter how evil the pony was while alive.”
I stared into her eyes.
“What if one were denied that?”
“What, did he do that to Helga? I’ll-”
“Never have to make good on that threat.”
Ms. Heart froze.
“What?”
“I didn’t kill the one who murdered her…”
She glared at me.
“I unmade him.”
“What?”
I took a deep breath before continuing.
“I destroyed him, annihilated him, unmade him. His body, mind, and soul are all nothing now. He once existed, now he doesn’t.”
Her eyes were wide now.
“In short, that monster is not in any afterlife, is not in the clutches of some necromancer, or even a ghost. He’s gone, completely, forever.”
A moment of dead silence passed before Ms. Heart pounced on me to deliver another hug.
She clung to me, or rather, she clung to Pathfinder, a disguise, a mask, a lie.
I’m tired of lying.
I coughed as I shut my eyes again.
So very tired.
I opened them to look into Ms. Heart’s
Besides
I opened my mouth, ready to speak the truth.
How much longer can this last?
“Ms. Heart I-”
My voice caught.
“I…”
Ms. Heart stepped forward.
“Are you alright? Maybe you should go to bed, Pathfinder.”
I cringed at the mention of my false name.
Here goes nothing.
“My name isn’t really Pathfinder.”
Ms. Heart froze for a moment before giggling behind a hoof.
“Oh how silly of you Pathfinder, so funny, so funny, now stop joking around, you need to go to bed Path-”
I cut her off.
“No, my name isn't Pathfinder.”
I felt confidence build in my voice as the truth gained momentum.
“My name isn’t Pathfinder, it’s Typhon.”
My old name slid off my tongue like a stick of butter and I chuckled before continuing.
“I’m not even a pony.”
Ms. Heart took a few jittery breaths before stepping closer with a shaking hoof.
“What have you done with Pathfinder then?”
“Pathfinder never existed, only me.”
She glared at me.
“This isn’t funny Pathfinder, stop trying to make this stupid joke work!”
I frowned at her for a moment.
Then I dispelled my disguise before standing on my hind legs. I had to hunch over so that my horns didn’t gouge at the ceiling.
Yellow eyes, sharp teeth, and mismatched body.
Ms. Heart cringed away from me before speaking.
“No, you’re not Pathfinder, you’re just a bad dream. He-”
“The day we met, I had to drag Sugar Plum back here because I caught her stealing bread from a bakery.”
I smiled as I felt comfort radiate from my core.
“The next day I came over to visit and I stayed for a meal, can’t remember which.”
I closed my eyes as I let the happier memories flow, flashes of smiling children, faint echoes of innocent laughter, numerous times where how I perceived this world changed.
This colorful world was still full of vibrance but the cartoony lines disappeared, the one-note colors faded into far more complex blends, and my misconceptions had been torn from me one by one.
And it all started with that night that Sugar Plum and I...
“I ended up ripping out the plundervine and fixing pretty much everything in the building.”
Ms. Heart was crying again.
“So you lied to me, to the children, to everypony since you got here? How much did you lie about? Did you really care about the kids? Did you just let Helga die because you-”
“I did not let her die, she was murdered before I could save her! So, please, don’t blame me for that.”
My shouting pushed Ms. Heart closer to the floor. I stared at her for a moment before sitting.
“Look, I’m sorry for yelling, but I really di-”
A high-pitched squeal rang through the room and before I could stop her, the little filly that saw me had already disappeared, leaving behind a cloud of dust in her wake.
I rushed up the stairs to try to catch her before panic could set in.
I failed.
It took Ms. Heart and I a few minutes to corral over a dozen foals back into one room.
Though, Ms. Heart kept throwing nervous glances in my direction. Almost as if I was…
No, stop it, no time for those thoughts right now.
Eventually, the two of us managed to get all of the children in the living room and into a sitting position.
Tension filled the air, making the whole ordeal feel like a hostage situation.
I took a deep breath, then another, then another, and finally stepped in front of the crowd of kids.
“Hello, little ones.”
They all cringed and I sagged.
“You have all known me as Pathfinder for as long as I’ve been here. My real name is Typhon and, as you can see, I’m not really a pony.”
Some cast glances at their friends, some appeared curious, some of the younger ones cowered, and some stared at me with mixed expressions.
“My name and body are the only lies I’ve worn, I’m still me, I’m still the fun-loving, friendly, and helpful guy you knew before. I just don’t look exactly like you.”
One of them called out in a shrill voice.
“Do you eat ponies?”
The question made me flinch but I turned to the colt anyhow.
“No, Cloud Kicker, I do not eat ponies. Stars, I don’t even eat meat! You have no reason to fear me.”
“Why do you have two horns?”
“Why are you so tall?”
“Can you look like anything? Can you look like a princess?”
The tension drained the air as I answered question after harmless question. My smile grew to be more and more genuine the longer we went.
My heart soared when I spotted Sugar Plum strolling up to me.
Ms. Heart had a hoof to her muzzle but I just leaned towards Sugar Plum.
“It’s good to see you again, Sugar Plum.”
She stood perfectly still in front of me and I got down to her eye level.
“Is there something you need Sugar-”
My sentence was interrupted by a swift buck to the face. Sugar Plum spun back around to face me.
“Why did you leave me? You promised you cared! You promised to not leave us- me behind! Why?!”
Her voice was rising in pitch and volume by the moment.
“But, But I…”
“You lied, that’s what you did!”
Some of the kids were jabbering at each other, and a couple of the foals began to cry.
“I was afraid that you wouldn’t accept me. Every other pony town rejected me on sight, some screamed, some ran, some attacked.
The crying had gotten louder, more frantic, but I pushed on anyway.
“The only time I didn't get immediately chased off was when some mage tower wanted me as a lab rat!”
“You still threw me away when things got tough, you, you stupid monster!”
I straightened while my eyes shot wide open.
“I’m not a monster!”
Sugar Plum screamed her last accusation before sprinting behind Ms. Heart while my eyes tracked her.
“Then why didn’t you care like you said you would?!”
Every single muscle in my face contracted at once, both of my legs locked up, and my chest tightened.
Monster.
No, no, no!
A couple fillies pushed out of the crowd and got in Sugar Plum’s face to sling insults, but she gave as good as she got.
Well, until Ms. Heart broke it up a moment later.
Even she’s saying it now, you’re a monster.
No!
My breathing quickened as my vision narrowed, the edges fading to black. Ms. Heart stepped forward to wrap me in a hug.
“You won’t hurt her!”
I cringed again as I felt a fire burn through my chest at Ms. Heart’s words.
A familiar voice echoed up from the depths of my mind, a thousand whispers surrounding it with unwanted knowledge.
However two words cut through the static.
Monster.
No!
I learned a hundred new things ranging from the proper time to change seasons to earth pony pike formations.
Though I forgot all of it except one tidbit, one tiny piece of information that got through the whirlpool of words.
However, I rejected it. I rejected its truth.
You’re a monster, me.
Accept it already and move on.
A couple little pegasi ran up to me. One of them was Feather Duster.
I remember her from the bakery.
She was a cute little shy thing.
Now however, she stared into my eyes without an ounce of fear, just… hope?
I’m not a monster, I never was and never will be!
Five hundred faces, five hundred lives, five hundred ponies, all withered away in the span of an hour. It was so easy, so satisfying, so right.
Ms. Heart had to shout over the wails of weeping children
“Go away monster, can’t you see that you’re not wanted?”
Now she was staring up at me too, tears in her eyes, and her hooves were still around me, maintaining an iron grip.
Her mouth was moving but I didn’t hear anything more from her.
More kids had bundled up next to us, Sweetie Drop, Banana Peel, Applesauce, and Feather Duster had actually stretched her little wings to fly up to my face level.
Monster.
The fire climbed my throat.
“You only make things worse!”
I turned back to Heart to find that she wasn’t saying that. It looked like she was saying ‘Please stay,’ but no matter how much my eyes refuted the message, my ears rang with the truth.
“But I fixed the-”
“The what, the building? How about you fix Helga, or the town!”
The world was blurring and everything began to take on a slight tinge of red.
Or even fix the lives you took?
“Just go, stop making everything worse!”
Hope filled her eyes when she looked into mine, not fear, not determination, hope.
Why did she feel hope if I was a monster?
Why was she hugging me?
Feather Duster was crying as well, her body heaved with every sob.
It seemed like she was trying to squeeze my snout in a hug, but kept slipping off.
It didn’t make sense, nothing made sense!
The imagined flames reached my head as I saw white cracks pierce the black void at the edges of my vision.
A second passed before everything disappeared in a blinding white flash.
But what fun is there in making sense?
Ms. Heart fell to the floor as her anchor blinked off to stars know where. She stared at the empty space in front of her, hyperventilating as she brought her hooves to the side of her head.
Pathfinder, no, Typhon was gone!
She asked, begged even, for him to stay.
Why did he leave?
Did Sugarplum really shake him up that bad?
She just called him a name!
Granted, It was different this time but he took every other insult in stride!
Where did he go?
Was he alright?
Did he need help?
How could she help?
Was he angry?
Was he sad?
What did she do?
What happened?
No matter how many questions Heart asked, no answers came.
Eventually, the cries of children, her children, pulled her from the panic, but one thought stuck in her head, rattling around like a set of dice.
What now?
Heart shook her head before forcing a smile to try to calm the children.
Though, she wished that she weren't the only one here to do so.
Maybe if she did something different, maybe if she squeezed tighter, maybe if she smiled wider, maybe… maybe he’d have stayed.
Whatever the case, she had work to do.
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They are being jerks! after everything he done for them they want to blame him for everything that happened!
11219769
after the time they have all had things will be said and things done in a time of great emotion and confusion. they will regret this but they might not be able to fix it
Their reactions make no sense, its too unbelievable
11219783
I know they were his friends and they rejected him when he told the truth about who was I don't think he will ever willing trust anyone again. You get burned too many times and you stop trusting that it won't happen again. After losing friendship so much he probably won't want to trust anyone.
What did 0fficerZ0mbie#0569 do?
11219803
he's a prereader.
11219784
ok.
Me after reading this
11219864
mood
Will he stop caring about saving ponies?
Apathy is the greatest protection in this situation.
Good chapter
Nooooo!!!
That actually made me cry!
I hope they will realize how wrong they were.
Like example maybe in the future when they get older the guilt keeps growing everyday trying to find him to apologize for the terrible things they said as a Filly/Colt
I think the ponies are all still reeling from the nightmare they just experienced, looking for someone to blame. When things calm down and cooler heads prevail, they'll probably apologise to Typhon.
But he is a moron. And he could have saved more lives but he is a bad person to be in this role,it could have been someone else and they could have used the powers better.
Even normal classic Discord would be like,"hey I will just teleport there and start sabotaging this very orderly attack plan by toyig with every pegasus in my own chaotic way ,way before the damm cloud arrives."
That's emotions for you. They make you dumb and blind to reason. The worse possible results almost always happen because of emotions destroying ones ability to reason. Panic, fear, sorrow, rage. It's why people are tought from a young age to control and not BE controlled by their emotions. Yet to live without emotion is not living... such is the chaos of life I suppose.
11220092
It'll probably be too late by then. His mind has been frayed and on the verge of shattering. The next chapter will likely be his uprising and destruction of the status quo.
You get burned and your friendship throw in your face time and time again and in the end you are willing to do anything to not get hurt again.
I don’t understand why they reacted so violently? I can understand them being nervous, scared, even a bit hurt but this? I just don’t understand it. How much of it is actually happening and how much is in Typhons head? Hopefully the next chapter will clear things up, I’ve been enjoying this fic up to now. I’m probably missing something, it’s really well written regardless.
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Honestly, I see why people are bit mixed on the receptions here, but I have my reasons for the way they acted. However, I apparently didn't show those reasons well enough in the story for it to be reasonable. If anyone has any tips on how to do better in the future I'll gladly take a look.
These are the reasons I have for the chapter to go this way.
The way I saw it was that it's a high stress situation. Essentially Ms. Heart just got back from a safe house to find that the orphanage was fine and Pathfinder was home so all seemed well. This was after a couple hours maybe even a day of waiting, she wasn't in the greatest of mental states. The worst part is that she got Sugar Plum who got tossed through the portal like a sac of potatoes was probably almost catatonic cause she just witnessed someone murdering a baby griffon that she knew. So there's all that stress and now the person you thought you knew turns out to be a horrendous monster that stands around four times your height, has glowing eyes, and sharp teeth. Obviously she doesnt exactly believe this, but Typhon tries to prove himself as Pathfinder. I kind of see it as her only barely accepting the truth and thought she leaned towards him still being a fake, because why would a close friend lie about something so important? Lastly, Sugar Plum made the most sense I thought
Typhon promised that he'd be different, that he'd be good, that he'd protect Sugar Plum, that he'd be there for her. What does he do? First, he lies to her about his form showing that he's been lying to her like every other adult that she trusted (except Ms. Heart). Second, he kills right in front of her. Yes there's a good reason for it and yes she's pretty mature for her age, but she's still a kid, that kind of thing has an effect. Lastly, he left her behind he didn't stay by her side when she needed it, he abandoned her, or at least, that's how she saw it when he tossed her through the portal. I specify tossed because it meant he was careless, it showed how little importance she held to him in the moment. He lied, he murdered, and he abandoned, three things he promised to not do. So she got angry, and being the violent little squirt she is, she showed it. The rest of the kids were more shocked, curious or scared, the only two characters I actually had lash out at him were characters that trusted him.
However, given the number of these sorts of comments, I probably didn't show that enough, any tips for improvement?
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Before I explain, the confrontation of understanding that he had killed someone shoud have begun as soon as she got back. Everyone would understand the state the city was in (trashed because of invaders) and should understand what actually happened. Sugar plum is aggressive, not stupid. She also wouldn't be mad at what you call abandoning her, because he was obvioudly rescuing her. Again, she isn't stupid.
Anyways, to the main point.
The only one whose reactions kinda makes sense in this are Sugar Plum's. I doubt she would be calling the person who killed the murderer in front of her a monster after having such a tender heart to heart with her. After they helped out so much. After he proved he cared about her. I can understand why you might go that route, though. Kid just saw her friend get murdered.
Everyone else is just too unbelievable. Why in the world would Ms Heart or the other kids have this reaction? Everyone heard what was going on outside before he ferried them through the portal. They should know what is going on is true aside from that because sugar plum should have told them how bad things are anyways. She wouldn't have stayed silent. Even excluding that, they'd have known. Ms Heart isn't allowed to act like he's a monster, especially. She is an adult, and can understand, for the completely reasonable explanation that he is giving, that he is telling the truth. If it makes no sense, she is the dumbest person in existence. Full stop, a complete dumbass. You can't justify immediately turning on someone who you might see as potential for a lifelong friend for all the help and care they've given as a monster just because she's stressed and he's some crazy fuzzy noodle looking thing. It just... it makes no sense. Same reason for the kids. This kind person who fixed the orphanage and stopped by to help them daily turns out to look really, really funky. So what? Deal with it. They were rejects or left adrift from their parents, can't they deal with him being a weird ass alien looking thing? Couldn't they understand they were throwing him away as much as they were? Stress happens to affect your decisions in the moment for some, but not all (Also they'd only be mildly stressed unless Sugar Plum told them the severity of the situation, but I digress). You could potentially use this as a tool to justify their rediculously out of scale immediate rejection. It feels fantastically cheap, though, considering how much he helped and cared for them, and for how long. He's obviously helping them for the raid, they aren't dumb, they heard what happened. They should be crying in joy that nothing looks as trashed as it should be. The insane turn around to this, actually yelling at the person who helped you that they're a monster because they look like it, is so sour and unfulfilling that it actually made me stop reading and try to rationalize their incredibly out of character reactions that they were having. I couldn't. They just make no sense. Try looking at it from the other orphans' points of view, where a trusted and caring person (he'd basically be a member of the family at this point) has told everyone that there's gonna be a raid and they need to get to safety through a portal.
You find it difficult to believe but still are a little concerned, until you hear happenings outside. The kids would probably start charging through the portal, but don't. They are put at the safehouse and he is out looking for one of your own missing fellow friends. A bit spooked, you all camp out in the safe house. It's nice, and everyone is cautiously optimistic about what has happened back at the orphanage, but everyone either copes or goes to Ms Heart to work it out or cry. Sugar Plum pops in, distraught, telling people what she saw: her friend had died and the murderer was killed by their caretaker. The town was being sacked. They'd be distraught for a sort, unless this never happened, and then the hours would roll by and it'd turn into a blanketing feeling of sadness and a bit of anger. They'd wonder if everything that they still had in the world that had given them basically nothing would be destroyed, but as they got back, it isn't. They can see the distruction and horror outside the window, but the orphanage is completely untouched. Something to be happy about. A cautious optimism might be fulfilled. The caretaker appears again, a weird monster looking thing. He's kind of freaky looking, but he sounds like the caretaker we know and love. He still sounds and acts like him, too. Everyone is a bit wigged out over his appearance, but get over it pretty quickly at his explanations, because it all makes sense. They might not really get allcof it and could somehow feel betrayed that he had to do this absolutely necessary thing, but would still feel grateful that he escaped him from the hell that had occurred outside, the same that Sugar Plum told them of. They're alive and a bit jarred, but more than all else, they are relieved. They are alive, they are back home, and everything is going to be okay. Sugar Plum might be wigging out, but she always does that. Even if he does look like a monster, he is family, and we'll always be thankful and love him for his help and care.
Align yourself wit these happenings, and try to find the emotional reactions and turns for each situation. It is difficult, but luckily you can do it pretty blanketed. Good luck. I have little to no problem with the rest of the story, and have been excited to read it every time it has showed up in my updated list. I stillclook forward to more, but less than before. You've made a pretty good story. I'd appreciate it if you fixed the major error, but I can understand if you don't. It is your story. Thank you for writing it.
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so, in short, you think that Ms. Heart's reaction's were too emotional and negative towards Typhon and the orphans were too neutral? I can see that, thanks for the advice.
You're sadly correct that I'm not planning on fixing this too much, might do some tune ups to make Ms. Heart seem a bit more reasonable but other than that, this is kinda an important part of the story. After fixing the horrible chapters 1 and two I'll see what I can do to tune this chap up and then probably finish out the fic.
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I think everyone overreacted, and quite a bit.
I understand. Sad to see it go so soon.
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hold on just a moment there buckaroo, I've got to fix chapter two into a full arc (as it always should've been) and then we got another full arc that should be similar in size to this one. That and who said sequels are off the table eh?
I've got plans friend.
many plans.
(just remember to tell me where I'm going wrong when i fuck up like this chapter, it's a learning experience for me!)
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Oh, good. Thank you for your writing, it tends to make me pretty happy :)
Also, thank you for being open to criticism, and for being so positive about it. It makes me feel all giddy inside, every time.
This is a good little story. Able to make us readers feel the feels just right, it’s sad they betrayed him and honestly I hope they see their mistake but yet won’t be able to fix it tell long after make them carry that guilt for several decades and even if they try to fix it probably won’t be able to cause he’ll have finally went off the deep end if he hasn’t already. Yes it’s kinda evil but imma heart will most certainly feel the guilt and the kids they’ll feel something else that ain’t so evil to their psychs unlike the guilt heart will feel, again yes evil but sometimes it must be done to develop a person into someone good.
Maybe they won’t feel it or feel something else but as I said yes evil but also a good hard lesson is learned if they do feel it. Anyways enough bout scaring the whole orphanage with the hard and painful life lesson I find this quite an interesting read and I do hope to see more!
img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aXXQM3b_460s.jpg
...
ok, this poor guy is just cursed. I mean Fate is really using him as a punching bag.
c.tenor.com/bGpVOp3JGHwAAAAC/life-going-down.gif
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I'm starting to think it's a cognitive curse like Silence from Doctor Who
Because the ponies reactions go far beyond speciesism
Also https://images.app.goo.gl/wsqnuGyiU1NA6ktK8
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No one complains when Batman does it
Well, that's hardcore. Infinite punishment is not something one should deal lightly, or as some argue, at all.
Gosh, after all of that and they just reject him? The life of our protagonist really sucks, doesn't it?
What was changed?
However cliche it may sound I believe the overreaction may be explained by magic
. In Equestria it was shown both in canon and fanfiction that emotions have great impact on magic and in return magic can affect emotions of all creatures like when Luna's negative emotions making her magic turn her into a monster (not sure if i'm 100% correct here I haven't watched all episodes). Chaos magic combined with lots of negative emotions and many many deaths might have changed ambient magic around the town and affected extreme emotions of ponies inside it. Though that's just my theory anyway 
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it was rewritten entirely, character given more reactions, the fuzzy memories more evident, the power learning slightly more believable, and the sisters were made more believable (in my opinion) in chapter 1
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Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put tomato in a fruit salad.
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... where did you get the mastermind idea?
Hey, just caught up with the story and I'm pretty sad about that! Gotta wait now for more chapters.
Love what you've done with the concept so far, it's a more interesting take on the alt history of an established character. Really making it feel like it's their story instead of a power tripping what if.
Keep up the great work and thank you for writing this story.
Wow what a great story! Haha, I'm sad now.
i.pinimg.com/736x/a8/d9/57/a8d957629519414bc38c87e6bd4f0dbb.jpg
Just started reading the story.. and it's already over...
The distrust and aggression towards Typhon on the part of the ponies are understandable - he looks like a bunch of predators in one, big and can do almost anything and in any way...
The fear of the townsponies is also predictable - killing five hundred attackers in a matter of minutes in a variety of ways .. even if it was to 'defend' the city.
Orphanage - he could save Helga, but due to the original plans of non-intervention, he could not do it ..
(it would be more than stupid to expect logic and prudence from children and their nanny .. given the scale of time and events.)
Attack on the city, punitive actions, a bloody mess of attackers and their victims.. and an unknown scary-looking creature..
(the smile of a cartoon predator is different from the smile of a predator in real life...)
*p.s.
And for the destruction of the soul, he could be immediately send him to the hell.
The body and actions are temporary, but the soul is immortal.
I don't know if a comment has brought this up or not, or if one of the chapters properly mention this, but I am having a hard time finding the part where you link and mention who the cover art belongs to aka the artist to the cover art to your story. In case if you were having a hard time finding that when you first published this story, this art belongs to Zlayd-oodles: https://www.deviantart.com/zlayd-oodles
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oh thank god, I thought I had it linked but deviant art is fucky with me, I'll put it into the description right away (I actually thought I had the link in the cover art itself).
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Oh awesome, just saw it^^ Thank you for putting that in, the artist will deeply appreciate it^^ Not sure how links within the cover arts work, but putting the name of the artist is always deeply appreciate as well. I know, links on Fimfiction is always tricky so don't worry:) Thank you for responding to my message and for fixing it:)
This is how the truly monstrous are born. Hatred becomes there shield and violence there sword. No one can be the hero forever.
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True but only an idiot turns down a possible alliance with someone powerful that ask for nothing but friendship from you. She ends up creating an enemy where there wasn't one. She will be lucky if this doesn't come back to bite her.
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Clover since she one the heart-warming heroes I think she would be a friend if she wasn't blind to the way things are.
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Soul's not immortal if you unmake it, at a fundamental level of reality, that pony never existed.
I really hope to God this doesn't end up a reason to shoehorn him into being an evil villian.
Rip, Discord will get better. Hopefully.
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But Celestia actions are stupid considering who in their right mind turns a powerful ally into an enemy. All she had to was obey the golden rule when it came to him and she would had protection from enemies that couldn't easily be beat but she did the opposite.
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Easily said than done. In a perfect world there are definite lines, dotted i's, and clearly defined rules. A dull, drab grey as the backdrop to every color, with predictable and boring outcomes, but no misunderstandings.
However even in our modern world, even in your mind, a true peaceful fantasy is all it is. A fantasy.
An all powerful ally? (What shouldn't you do to not anger them? How many will you silence when people whisper mistrust? How many times have your own allies, friends of even family betrayed you? How much dirt must you taste as you shield your gaze from looking at them? When will your sanity snap? That all impending force that can unmade you? If not you, the void they might leave behind?) Paranoia is a powerful thing, amplified by experience and the unknown. "In ruling, it is better to be feared, than loved." (Though i much prefer the love part, there's so much time and effort...)
In a world such as the one Typhon exists in as it is, its easy to misconstrue everything. Even to children, oh the most cruelest of all. Mouths of babies and all that. Their words are fueled by naievete and lack of experience. They know not of the full range of what they have done, or can do.
The orphanage doesn't know what happened outside. They only know the FEAR of the NOW. Not what happened or what will happen.
There will be those that will praise the rescue. Some will fear him, but still be grateful. Those that hate out of blind stupidity and ignorance. Some will be neutral, and some will hate him for what he is despite the good they've done.
In the end, its just post battle.
True veterans know what Typhon's going through. His inner voice was right. Do the ends justify the means? How many more would have died? How many more given a fate WORSE than death? He's going through shock, and then being treated as a monster by the people he trusted and did this for?
I'd be DISGUSTED. I would've told them to take a walk outside. Ask them if they wanted to experience what their neighbors did. I know their neighbors would be glad tongue them safe, but also harbor intense jealousy. Maybe even hatred. Their family may be broken forever. Their homes (even temporary) were shattered. The sense of their LIVES uprooted.
And "those brats" got special treatment?
Tsk. The mind is a confusing thing. Add in hormones and emotions and you've got a fun chaotic blender of mishmash possibilities, and I'm hoping that someone like Hot can at least get a tiny thanks to Typhon, and at least find some solace that he did do a good thing. Even if it came at a terrible cost.
Edit: On mobile, apologies for typos and weird formatting.
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comments like this one make me wonder if people figured out who the masked pony was in the attack...