Under the Mistletoe

Starlight has a craving for bacon, and Sunset is looking rather good at the moment. With Mistletoe as her weapon of choice, she tries, and fails spectacularly to get her extra crispy kiss.

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.”

J.P. Morgan

Pre-readers: Sunlightrays, ScarletRibbons, Short-Tale, Sleepless Beholder

Editor: LysandersD.

Written for CosmicBlues for Jinglemas 2021

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 13 )

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Greatazuredragon

Greatazuredragon #1 · Dec 25th, 2021 · 2 · ·

"I'm sorry, Starlight. I'm working on a super-duper secret Hearth's Warming gift, and I needed a real-life looking Sunset," Pinkie explained quickly. "I sure hope you weren't confessing a super-duper important secret. That would just be the worst!"

Pinkie, you shouldn''t leave your life-sized replicas of your friends around!

Nice story, good work.

Gelatino

Gelatino #2 · Dec 25th, 2021 · 1 · ·

This is very cute and wholesome

The Sleepless Beholder

The Sleepless Beholder #3 · Dec 25th, 2021 · 1 · ·

Good to see this one finally released.

The Cloptimist

The Cloptimist #4 · Dec 25th, 2021 · 1 · ·

Well, that was cute and silly and really rather sweet! I'm somehow not in the least bit surprised that Pinkie Pie would have a full size fake Sunset, that both came out of nowhere but also seems perfectly in character! Nice work.

SwordTune

SwordTune #5 · Dec 25th, 2021 · 1 · ·

With Mistletoe as her weapon of choice

Loki: Yes... Goooood.
Baldur: I'm in danger.

applezombi

applezombi #6 · Dec 26th, 2021 · 2 · ·

What a fun little comedy of errors! AND WITH SMOOCHINGS!

ThePinkedWonder

ThePinkedWonder #7 · Dec 26th, 2021 · 1 · ·

D'aww, this story was adorable, especially Starlight. This story has shades of a story of mine that I asked you to review, which made me sympathize with poor Starlight that much more. There don't be too many stories with EQG Starlight, so I think it was a nice touch using her over a more common choice like Princess Twilight, another human mane 7 member, or Wallflower.

I did notice some small grammar errors while I was reading. Hope you don't mind me pointing some out.

"Phew, that was a close call,” he said once he’d gotten a firm grip on the ladder again Hey there, Starlight. Are you enjoying the decorations? I always love this time of year. Isn’t it beautiful?"

There wasn't an apostrophe or comma/period at the start of the second line.

Finally, the school pulled into view. Starlight kept watching out the window, and to her surprise, she saw thatSunset was waving to her from the sidewalk. Starlight smiled and hurried off the bus, walking over to meet her friend.
She was an angel, and Starlight, well, Starlightwas not even close to angelic. Starlight was considered a bad girl by some; not that she really cared what anyone thought of her

Both of those paragraphs had two words together as one word.

Those little errors aside, I enjoyed this story. Good work!

CosmicBlues

CosmicBlues #8 · Dec 26th, 2021 · 1 · ·

👌 Thanks for the fic!

Voidwalker

Voidwalker #9 · Dec 26th, 2021 · 1 · ·

Goodness gracious, does she have a one-track-mind - I'm totally on Cheerilee's side here. Get your mind out of the gutter, girl.
Funny story, anyway.

Thank you.

Ninjadeadbeard

Ninjadeadbeard #10 · Dec 26th, 2021 · · ·

Cute.

SigmasonicX

SigmasonicX #11 · Mar 3rd, 2022 · · ·

This was pretty cute, especially when Pinkie's replica showed up. Interesting that you went with a Starlight that was native to this world. I will say though that Starlight didn't feel super Starlight-like, and it did feel a bit repetitive.

Sunset Shimmer The Great

Sunset Shimmer The Great #12 · Jun 12th, 2022 · · ·

Interesting.

ScisetShimmerEvan

ScisetShimmerEvan #13 · Dec 18th, 2022 · · ·

Starlight sighed a breath of relief.On her way to her first class of the day, however, she couldn't help but notice Flash Sentry in the hallway atop a ladder, putting up some mistletoe.

A space is needed following the first sentence in the paragraph.
Also, is this story an au where Starlight is a human?

"Phew, that was a close call,” he said once he’d gotten a firm grip on the ladder again Hey there, Starlight. Are you enjoying the decorations? I always love this time of year. Isn’t it beautiful?"

again. "Hey there, Starlight.*

"Yeah, she really is beautiful," Starlight immediately replied, then shook her head ..

head.*

"Like I'd tell you! A lady doesn’t kiss and tell, you know?”" she said, sticking her head up, crossing her arms and walking away from Flash. She didn't need Sunset’s ex-boyfriend getting involved. She was going to kiss Sunset, and no one was gonna stop her.

know?"*

The class bell rang, and, without really meaning to, Starlight shouted out loud."I want to kiss her!"

Good thinking Starlight.

“I’m really, really sorry, Sunset. I just don't know what went wrong," Derpy tried to explain while the back ofhead and staring down at the stone pathway.

The second half doesn't make sense?

Starlight had to come up with a new plan of action. Sitting there with Sunset was the perfect time to do so; she allowed her mind to wander. All she had to do was get Sunset under some mistletoe. There was nothing saying she couldn’t just get a piece of holly and plan for the perfect moment, and this time there’d be no “accidents”.

"accidents."*

“Yeah? What about her?” Trixie asked Without really waiting for a response, she turned her head and blatantly staring at the chalkboard. “Trixie really dislikes this class, but at least Trixie is in good company.”

without*

Sunset began leaning forward, putting a hand on her cheek.Starlight felt the world stand still for a few seconds, and then, just when everything felt perfect, something had to interrupt them again.

A space is needed after the first sentence.

Starlight sighed, still looking at what was left of the prop she had borrowed from Trixie. “She’s not gonna like this,” Starlight told herself as she carefully tried to pick up the broken prop and put it in a ziplock bag. She didn’t want to just throw it away, but there was no way she could use it now, not after that trampling..

A space is needed after the first sentence.
trampling.*

The sunlight was shining down, and Starlight quickly covered her eyes with her arm, walking over towards the bus stop. The other students all huddled around the dirt pathway, waiting. Starlight joined up with them, givingTrixie a pout.

giving Trixie*

Finally, the school pulled into view. Starlight kept watching out the window, and to her surprise, she saw thatSunset was waving to her from the sidewalk. Starlight smiled and hurried off the bus, walking over to meet her friend.

that Sunset*

“Oh no, it’s not your fault at all. I’m the one with poor timing.” Starlight waved both of her hands in the air idly. She didn’t want Sunset to blame herself. She was an angel, and Starlight, well, Starlightwas not even close to angelic. Starlight was considered a bad girl by some; not that she really cared what anyone thought of her.

Starlight was*

The bell rang for lunch, and Starlight hurried to her locker, hoping to catch Sunset by hers. Sure enough,standing there in the center of the hallway was Sunset. She looked so magical, like she herself was her own illuminating light. Starlight felt her heart racing.

enough, standing*

"You weren't exactly subtle, sweetie~" Sunset replied, and before Starlight could reply with her own snarky retort, Sunset kissed her again.

Looks like she got her wish afterall!
This story was great and all but my only complaint is the bug amount of mistakes. Those aside, I enjoyed the story.

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