Heckled Holiday

by Necrogen Lord

It's such a lovely day

Author's Note:

Written for Kikio3000 for Jinglemas! Hope you enjoy it!

Regal Door stood proudly at the back of his lot. Gazing upon the dozens of firs, the fine Hearth's Warming tree, he couldn't help but feel proud. These trees would be gathered around, shared by a family through the most precious of times. These trees would be part of so many families, pony and others alike, brightening the hearts of every creature that looked upon them. They would be the magnificent centerpiece to the greatest holiday of the year, and-

CRASH

-would be assaulted non-stop from Changelings all month long.

"HEY! NO! GET DOWN FROM THERE!" the massive yellow stallion shouted, brandishing a broom.

A pale pink mare flew up to the Changeling and grabbed him by the barrel, grunting as she tried to pry him off of the sticky branches.

"Thorax, you can at least wait until we've brought it home!" the mare said.

"But there's just so much love in them!" he cried, clutching onto the branch as if it were his only lifeline. "Generations upon generations of ponies poured their love and care into these trees, and the saplings grew fat off of all this love! They're practically dripping with hundreds of years of sweet, sweet emotions!"

"I know, and that's why we agreed to get one that you can chew on later," she reassured. "Now, let's get off the nice stallion's trees so we can take one home, alright?"

The Changeling's blue eyes gazed into hers, and he smiled back, unclenching the branches. As she put him down, she brought out a bag of bits.

"Sorry about that, sir. We'd like to take one of your trees now, if we can."

He eyed the Changeling and then took the bag, weighing it in his hoof. A nod later, he pointed to the one Thorax had assaulted.

"Just go ahead and take that one your coltfriend got friendly with. Happy Hearth's Warming."

The mare smiled as she and the Changeling picked up the tree and flew off. With the customers gone, Regal Door turned to admire the rest of his trees.

Which were being accosted by a dozen more Changelings.

"Princesses dang it!" he cursed. "Rosemary! Get the spray bottle!"

\\\\\\//////

Flurry Heart stepped back to admire the work she'd put into decorating the tree. Dozens of crystalline strings hung from the branches, decorative orbs of glass reflecting the dim light in the cabin, and a makeshift Crystal Heart sat atop the tree’s highest tip. She was proud to have assembled such a wonderful centerpiece, and pulled out a camera to capture the moment.

“Sweetie bug, can you come in here for a second?” she called.

Thorax made his way in from the kitchen, two steaming mugs in his grasp. The bright red and white sweater he had on depicted a Windigo frowning as a choir of foals sang a carol atop its head, a few loose threads sticking to his black carapace.

“I’m here, love!” he said. “Ugh, it’s still so weird calling somepony ‘love’.”

“Yeah, it’d be like if ponies called each other ‘Spaghetti’ or ‘hayburger’ as pet names. But it’s cute when you call me Butter Ball!”

“It’s what your mom told me to call you,” he blushed, levitating the mug over to her.

She gladly took the mug and sipped at the warm eggnog. Nudging back his ear, she pulled off a branch and threw it into the fireplace. The alicorn pulled the Changeling close and hovered the camera in front of them.

“Say, ‘cheeselegs’!”

Thorax crossed his eyes and blepped his forked tongue while Flurry puffed up her cheeks and rolled her eyes back. After the camera flashed, they shared a laugh.

“So, want to go find something for dinner tonight?” Flurry said.

“Sure, let’s see if we can get some noodles!”

As the two left the cabin, a strong breeze blew open one of their windows. The chilling fog that followed took form quickly in the center of the house, sprouting four legs, a tail, and a long neck with an elongated head.

“FINALLY!” the Windigo shrieked. “AT LONG LAST, I’VE FOUND IT! THE HOME OF OUR GREATEST ENEMIES! PRINCESS FLURRY HEART AND THORAX THE INTERLOPER SHALL KNOW THE WRATH OF THE FIRST SONS OF EQUIS, THE RIGHTFUL RULERS OF THE- AH, OPEN FLAME!”

The Windigo panicked and tripped, knocking itself face-first into the arm of the couch.

\\\\\\//////

“You think he’s alright?” Flurry Heart asked.

When the two arrived at their cabin, they were shocked to find an unconscious pony in the middle of the living room. Being the well intentioned creatures that they are, Thorax quickly wrapped the intruder in a webbing of green goo against the wall while Flurry provided them with a pillow.

“I’m sure that he’s fine,” Thorax said. “Windigos are hard to truly hurt. I mean, unless they’re exposed to intensive positive emotions.”

“Windigos? Weren’t those things defeated a long time ago?”

“Yeah, back when you and I were only two or three years old.”

“Right. Man, mom and dad were so weirded out to learn that you were basically a baby when you first came up North.” Flurry gave the Windigo a poke with her hoof, nudging its nose. “Think he’ll wake up soon?”

“Not sure, maybe a nice hot cup of eggnog will help.”

Thorax levitated a third mug over and wafted the steam towards the spiritual being.

“GAAAAAH! HOT LIQUID! IT BUUUUURNS!” he screamed, thrashing in the cocoon. The thrashing ended up hitting Thorax, who spilled the nog all over the bound being. “WHY!? THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE! WHO EVEN HEATS UP EGGNOG IN THE FIRST PLACE!?”

“I’m so sorry, Mister Windigo!” Flurry said, taking out a fluffy blue towel. “Let me clean you up!”

As she rubbed his face with the towel, he screamed in even more agony.

“NOOOO! NOT GOOD INTENTIONS! THIS BURNS WORSE THAN THE SPILLED LIQUIDS!”

“What’s the matter?”

“Flurry, he’s a Windigo. Positive emotions and good hearted actions are explicitly hurtful to them.”

“Oh. But, I don’t want to be mean to any creature…”

“STOP BEING NICE, IT HURTS!”

“Here, let me try,” Thorax said, stepping between Flurry and their guest.

He reared back a hoof, twirled it in the air and smacked the Windigo in the face.

“Stop your useless crying, you disgusting little freak!” he hissed. “You and your kind aren’t deserving of the love and friendship that the rest of the world thrives off of! You should have stayed in the obscure reaches of the lost world and suffered in misery like you deserve!”

The Windigo giggled and neighed, licking its lips.

“Oh, oh yeah, that’s the stuff!” he said. “Ah, thanks for that.”

“Woah, where’d you learn to be mean like that?” Flurry asked.

“Eh, bit of my mom, bit of my brother, mostly a lot of pent up rage building over the entirety of my life,” Thorax chuckled. “So, what are you doing here, mister…”

“Right, my entrance didn’t go according to plan,” he muttered. “Ahem! Well, I am the vengeance of the Windigos! I am a voice crying out in objection to the peace of the world! I am Jingle, the End of Hearth’s Warming!”

The pod wiggled as Jingle tried to strike a pose, but ultimately ended up not doing much.

“So why do you want to end the holiday?”

“Really?” he asked, giving her a deadpan glare. “Why would I, a Windigo, want to end a holiday that centers around the defeat of Windigos?”

“Hmm… well, when you put it like that, I guess I can see why. Sorry we never thought about your feelings, Mr. Jingle.”

“Aaaaah, stop that! It’s like a thousand flaming needles piercing my bones!”

“Shut up!” Thorax shouted. “No one cares about how much you’re suffering! Just power through it or perish with the rest of the weak!”

“Alright that’s better,” Jingle said, snuggling into the cocoon. “So, will you help me stop the holiday season?”

“Absolutely not,” Thorax said.

“Oh come on, I know Changelings don’t celebrate it!”

“We do when our special somebuggies do,” he said, hugging Flurry.

“Bleugh! I thought you Changelings were cool!”

“Can you please stop yelling?” Flurry Heart said. “I think you could give Aunt Luna a run for her bits.”

“No! I will not! I will ensure the suffering of every creature in the world! This accursed holiday will see its end, and you will all beg for the sweet embrace of the Great Chill!”

Thorax hissed as he approached, but before he could say anything, Flurry Heart stopped him with a hoof to his chest. Shaking her head, she took a step forward, eyeing Jingle.

“Alright, so clearly there’s a lot to unpack here. Now normally, as Princess, I’d have to deal with this by taking you back to the Empire and interrogating you. You know, find out if you’re alone in this or try and counter whatever it is you’re doing, typical Princess stuff. However,” she said, narrowing her eyes, “I’m on vacation with my coltfriend. Since you decided to break into our cabin and interrupt us, I think you deserve a bit of punishment. Well, for that and the whole wanting to destroy the holiday but, whatever.”

She grabbed Thorax and kissed him, causing Jingle to scream as he erupted into pink fire. The cocoon fell limp, its occupant reduced to ash that was picked up by the wind. As the regenerating remains of the Windigo flew away, Thorax chuckled and Flurry hummed in content.

“So… think we should tell your parents about that soon?”

“Mmm… eh, they’ve handled worse,” Flurry dismissed. “This Hearth’s Warming, I just want to celebrate the holidays with my husband.”

Thorax blushed and stammered.

“Uh, d-don’t you mean coltfriend?”

She smiled and pulled out a box with two rings in it.

“No, I don’t.”

Comments

[fanreader999999]

Mm

[Kikio3000]

Awwwww! Yes! Ahhhhhh! This is so cute and epic!
Uwu! And I think it's awesome that you used my idea of a reason of chewing the pine leaves! Both when and after I gave that suggestion to you, I was like oh, no, how is this going to be able to be used?

And then you used the love from growing and decorating live Christmas trees! With the changelings all wanting to love on and nom the trees! XD, that's genius!

Thank you for such a hilarious, cute, and entertaining story!
I have more things to fangirl over in the story, but I'll write that later. :)

..

That Windigo Jingle got WRECKED!

[Kikio3000]

I know that Throax hasn't metamorphisized in the story, but I found this kissing pic and the author allowed its use for being the cover art of this story if you credit them! : https://www.deviantart.com/fallenangel5414/art/I-Have-Sinned-660133580

[Yoshifan30]

Ok that was something else but this was also kind of cute as well and funny so looks like hearts warming eve is here once again and thorax really can't help but hang on to a tree because of the emotion and that was pretty funny but when he got home with the tree flurry heart was there as an adult and I'm about to celebrate the holiday but an unexpected guests came in and it turns out it was a windigo trying to ruin the holiday but of course he cannot stop all the love and caring so he made a hasty retreat and it looks like it was just only two of them having the moment this was a pretty cute and funny story keep up the good work

[Kikio3000]

Once again, awesome job with the story, it is so cute! Haha, I read it seven times!
I forgot to add that I like how Thorax calls Flurry "butterball," how did he come up with it? Also, LOL, how did you come up with the idea of heating yummy eggnog? It was funny how Jingle said, "I thought you Changelings were cool!" XD I also like when Thorax told Jingle off, and that he (Jingle) could not compete with the furious love of the two beings. How did you come up with the name Jingle? From the Jinglemas writing event, this was written for? I love that Thorax can still make cocoons and webbing; and that Flurry could have interrogated the ancient spirit, but chose to have a nice day off with her future husband, aw, it was well-written, and nice surprise of marriage at the end there! Brilliant and cute story! I hope to see more great fics! Thank you for the sugary sweetness and great ideas that were in this fic! May I please use your idea for making the changelings nom on put together Christmas trees due to their high love content, as well as the thought of having a Windigo(s) get revenge for the creation of Hearth's Warming? Hope you have a happy new year!