• Member Since 27th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

BronyWriter


I write pony words. Millions of them. Some people actually think they might be worth reading. I am very thankful for that. Also, I have a Patreon now?

Sequels1

T
Source

This story is a sequel to The Secret Life of Rarity


After the events of The Secret Life of Rarity, Sweetie Belle must find a way to cope in a world that she does not understand anymore.

There is a threequel too.

Now with a TVTropes page!!!

Cover art by the wonderful Viofriedsebe

Chapters (18)
Comments ( 955 )

Instafave! Poor Sweetie...

SEQUEL!!!
YAY!
I'm curious to see what will unfold.

You never disappoint!:pinkiehappy:
Sequel... yay:yay:
Also, I hope Celestia's actions come back to bite her... maybe discord escapes and nopony will wield the elements of harmony because the element bearers are either dead(Rarity) or refuse to(The rest)

There ya go! Good work with the feels, you definitely made it full of sorrow, and all round rather morose. Just what I expected! Can't wait to see what you have in store for us in this story, although that Tragedy tag makes me excited for what you have up your sleeve!

No dark tag on this one eh? I take it that means Sweetie Belle won't be Rarity 2.0.

1266874 You never know. I don't 100% know either. If I learned anything from writing The Secret Life of Rarity it's that the story leads you. I do have stuff planned (including a pretty awesome ending if I do say so myself) but one never truly does know...

You know, you never did get around to addressing why the elemnts of harmony chose Rarity. That would be an interesting story all in itself.

just a thought for the future...






:raritycry:

"Absolutely terribly," said Scootaloo dryly.

*double face-hoof*


Again, I must say that HOW DO YOU UPLOAD SO FAST?! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Sweetie_happy.png

Poor Sweetie, that's the last thing she needs right now.

__-

"I'm only eight years old! What in Equestria could I do to any of you!?"
Isn't she around 11 now? As I recall, at least three years passed in the first story

1275226 you're right...Let's fix that

1275375

"WHERE IN YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION DID IT SAY THAT YOU HAVE TO MAKE AN EMOTIONALLY FRAGILE EIGHT YEAR OLD CRY!?"

You'll need to fix this one too. :twilightsmile: Interesting series, curious to see where you're going with it. I just hope it doesn't end in cupcakes... :pinkiecrazy:

Sweetie Belle talks an awful lot like an adult. Just a thought. Good story, I want to see more.

I really hope you don't make Sweetie Belle into another serial killer. :(

Aww. I like that Derpy was there to protect her. Though I hoped that the filly was Scootaloo, not some random. Still, good update!

1298970 I dunno, I just thought it would be more tragic, yet beautiful in its own way, if the filly was the sister of the one pony that Sweetie Belle DID have something to do with.

1298987 Oh, yeah, I liked that bit. I just meant that's who I imagined when you first said the filly was pushing through the crowd. I am surprised that Twi didn't say anything to the crowd harassing Sweetie too, but I like the way you wrote this chapter. I did like that you added in the sister of the pony she did kill. I didn't mean to make it seem like I didn't.

The sister of the one pony whose murder Sweetie was involved in, and is responsible for, even if she can't remember, defends her...:rainbowlaugh:

As always, a great chapter, though one problem.
I noticed that it would probably be simpler if Sweetie Belle's parents had names, rather than being "Sweetie Belle's father/mother."
Keep it up!

1307298 Yeah, there are a few things with that: 1. I have no idea what to call them and 2. They're only important to the story as her parents (much in the same way that Calvin's parents from Calvin and Hobbes never had names)

Good point.
It took a while, but I found their names on the wiki. It doesn't matter whether you include their names, but their names are Pearl and Magnum.

Bravo good chap! I wish I could give you more praise for these two great stories, but it would start to lose meaning after a while. I would also run out of adjectives for the praise I would like to give anyway. Don't get me wrong, still a great chapter, I just don't want to overuse the "amazing"s and the "spectacular"s, so, I'll just say what I normally do, keep on writing!

Scootaloo looked up from her hug with her new big sister and looked directly at Scootaloo

I think that should be Sweetie Belle.

But awesome story thus far!

1347253 Oh yeah, good point. Did you read the original?

1347267 Yup, a fantastically brutal, yet sad story!

1347299 No problem, it's really hard to blend those two things together well, and I won't even attempt it, as I'd fail, since I'm more of the romantic, adventurous type anyways. See what I did there?

1358328 Well if you recall, the 'forget' spell completely backfired. I wanted to show that there were no easy solutions for getting out of what she did, even if she thought that they were. Was it a tad DEM? Maybe, but it didn't work in the end.

Eqd didn't want to take TSLOR because of the heavy gore, but I haven't tried with Sweetie Belle. I don't know if they take sequels if they won't take the original but I haven't tried. I'd want to run it by a few editors first before I would try to submit it.

All that to say, I'm so glad that you loved this story! I know that the gore of the original (particularly chapters 6, 7, and 8) turns some people off (I've had a few people stop reading after 7) but if you liked that it was merely a part of the story rather than the reason behind it, then thanks! I hope you like what I have planned for Sweetie Belle.

1360480 It's because of Cupcakes that they have a no heavy gore rule. Still though, I agree that it is a bit ridiculous (although some chapters of mine do have some serious gore in them).

This really isn't an EqD sort of story, IMO, either of them. It's the kind of thing people should find when browsing the Grimdark tag at 3am, or searching the site for "serial killer." A hidden gem, as it were. Now, if it were to hit the Featured box, that would be another thing.

This story is too intimately tied to TSLOR to be worth reading without having read the first, and that's what will keep it off EqD. That doesn't negate the fact that it's a gut-wrenchingly real-feel story that is well worth reading, for those that have the stomach. Sorta like watching Dexter, or lately, The Mentalist.

So it begins... Again

Sweetie has a case for self-defence, but I think that nopony is going to listen.

A good choice to jump ahead.

i really hope the story doesnt end with sweetie doing the same thing, for me it will be so cliche

She asked him to leave multiple times, then he attacked her.
She can get out on self defence, and it doesn't help his case that he was drunk.
First thing I thought, just thought I would put it here.

1299428

Correct me if I'm wrong, but....

That's the definition of irony right there.

1372556
Pretty sure that's right on the button.

Granted, I believe I just summoned a Grammar Nazi to lecture us all on the textbook definition of "irony," but that gives us a golden opportunoity to intentionally use the wrong your/you're to torment them, that's always fun.

Hopefully this will turn out better than that time Rarity saw a therapist.

1392603 One would hope so

1415008

YAY! :o
can I request something to happen in the story, too?

1416285

The friends can't handle the grieving, so they go to therapy too. But that made them worse, and they turned to be like Rarity.
like

Rainbowslash
Butchershy
Pinkamena etc

I dunno. This randomly occured

You might want to change the wording around 'She had seen what that life was like; she had been in Rarity's basement when she had killed Scarlet Tomato.' because it could be confused between if Rarity killed her or Sweetie remembers killing her. Just sayin'.

Found an error that kinda stuck out at me...

usaders out of the barn. The three knew better than to argue and they rushed out of the barn leaving five very frightened mares with one pony out for blood.

Think the actual number is four, unless there was a mare I didn't know about hiding in the rafters lol
(Please forgive the extra text before the error in the quot. Copying text on a droid ain't all that accurate) :twilightblush:

Login or register to comment