Getting Help
"What am I doing here?" Sweetie Belle asked herself as she walked up to the front desk of the psychiatric office. "I don't technically have to be doing this, the receptionist hasn't seen me here, and I can just turn around and walk away. I should do that now, right now."
However, despite her brain telling her that it was the best option, her legs continued to move forward. It was if they wanted her to get therapy for what had happened, not just that night but for the past twelve years. It was frustrating for Sweetie Belle to not have control over her own limbs.
Within a few moments she was standing in front of the front desk where a familiar looking mare was sitting at a chair, idly flipping through a fashion magazine. It still wasn't too--
Sweetie Belle cleared her throat and the receptionist looked up. Well, it was too late now.
The receptionist looked at Sweetie Belle for a few seconds before a wide smile split her face. "Sweetie Belle, is that you?" she asked.
Sweetie Belle managed a grin of her own as she nodded. "Hello June Star," she said. "Yes it's me."
The mare who had once protected Sweetie Belle from an angry mob stood up and walked from around the counter to see Sweetie Belle and wrap her in a hug. "It's been too long," she said happily after she let go of Sweetie Belle.
Sweetie Belle nodded. "Yeah, I guess I've always been wary of this place and that's why we've never run into each other. You live around here don't you?"
June Star nodded. "Yeah, I guess that's why." A small frown crept across June Star's face. "What are you doing here?" she asked. Sweetie Belle sighed and sat down on a nearby chair.
"Did you hear about last night?" she asked. June Star nodded.
"Yeah. I imagine the whole town knows by now, although I have yet to run into anypony around here who hates you for it."
"Yeah, well, that's why I'm here. After Featherweight let me out of the station he asked me to come here just in case...just in case some stuff was up," she finished lamely. June star nodded.
"I get that and we'll do our best to make sure that you feel as safe as possible."
"Thanks," said Sweetie Belle.
"I mean it Sweetie Belle, we aren't going to make you feel uncomfortable here, we just want to help."
"And what would you say if I told you that ponies have been saying that to me for ten years now?"
"Oh come on Sweetie Belle don't be ridiculous. We're professionals here, we don't want to hurt you."
"I know," she said.
"So do you want to see somepony or not?" asked June Star. Sweetie Belle sighed and looked at the wall.
"I guess that if I came in here I might as well see somepony just once," said Sweetie Belle. June Star nodded and looked down at a schedule.
"Dr. Working Mind should be available if you wish to speak to somepony right now."
"Working Mind," repeated Sweetie Belle.
"Shall I set up the appointment?" asked June Star.
Sweetie Belle sighed and nodded. "It's what I came here for."
June Star nodded and wrote a few things down on a piece of parchment before she stood up.
"I'll just be a moment." Sweetie Belle nodded and took a seat on one of the chairs, hoping that it wouldn't be long before she was seen. In truth she only wanted to be here for one session, just enough to placate Featherweight so that he wouldn't see cause to order more sessions. Ideally this 'Working Mind' pony would check her out and say that she was perfectly mentally fit. She would not kill anypony if she could help it. She had never even hurt another pony aside from that one day with Diamond Tiara when she went back to school and last night with Barley Brewer.
It was only a few more moments before June Star returned to tell Sweetie Belle that Dr. Mind would see her now. Sweetie Belle thanked her and walked down the hall where she was directed. Three doors down she was at an office with a placard on the door that read 'Dr. Working Mind PhD’. With nothing else to lose she slowly raised a hoof and knocked.
"Come in," said a warm male voice from inside. Sweetie Belle sighed and pushed the door open to reveal a brown unicorn stallion with a light gray mane. The stallion briefly raised his eyebrow when he saw who had entered, but he quickly smiled at her.
"Hello there," he said. "You must be Sweetie Belle. How are you today?"
Sweetie Belle frowned at him. "Have you heard what happened to me last night?" she asked. Working Mind's smile faded slightly and it was replaced by one of sympathy instead.
"Yes I did, and I want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened to you. if I heard right, he attacked you in your home, yes?" Sweetie Belle nodded. Working Mind's eyes went to the couch on the other side of the desk and he motioned for Sweetie Belle to sit down. Sweetie Belle sighed and walked over to the couch and sat down. It was surprisingly comfortable. After she had sat down, she looked back up at Working Mind who continued to give her the same warm smile.
"So..." began Sweetie Belle. "What now?"
"Well, what do you want to talk about?" asked Working Mind. Sweetie Belle merely shrugged.
"To be honest, I'm not really even sure why I'm here. I only came because a friend of mine suggested that I come here after what happened last night."
"And you're not sure why you came?" questioned Working Mind who had begun taking notes on a notepad. Noticing his writing, Sweetie Belle looked uneasily at the moving quill. Working Mind picked up on this and gave a slight chuckle. "Don't worry; I'm not going to exploit whatever you tell me. I promise that you and what you say are quite safe here. I won't even tell my co-workers unless you decide to see one of them."
"Okay," said Sweetie Belle uneasily.
"Now that we've gotten that out of the way, why did your friend want you to come here?" asked Working Mind. At this question, Sweetie Belle's eyes filled with tears but she managed to avoid shedding them.
"He... he was worried that I might turn out like my sister," she responded after a few moments.
"How so?" asked Working Mind. Sweetie Belle sighed and began mindlessly playing with a loose stitch on a nearby pillow.
"Do you know the story of her first kills?" whispered Sweetie Belle. Immediately Sweetie Belle sensed Working Mind tense up slightly at the question but he did his best to maintain his friendly attitude.
"Uh, yes I believe I heard the story."
"What have you heard?" asked Sweetie Belle. Working Mind cleared his throat slightly before answering. He clearly did not want to talk about what he knew.
"Uh...I heard that she first killed three foals when she was a filly herself during her first months of school but it was merely self-defense on her part." Sweetie Belle nodded.
"But she got a taste for it," she said. "She killed on accident but she still got a taste for murder."
"That's right."
"Well, that's why Featherweight wanted me to come here. I was attacked by Barley Brewer last night, but I cut him with a knife to defend myself. Featherweight was... was worried that I might..."
"That you might get addicted to the feeling you get when you hurt another pony if you didn't get help?" guessed Working Mind. Sweetie Belle's eyes moved to the floor and she glumly nodded. "I see."
"I'm not crazy," said Sweetie Belle.
"Why do you say that?" asked Working Mind. Sweetie Belle's eyes snapped up and she looked at Working Mind with a look of horror on her face. Working Mind sensed that the question came out wrong and adjusted his track. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that. What I mean is, why do you think that you are not crazy? Why do you think that you don't have the urge to kill? I merely ask because if we can pinpoint the truth of the matter then we can work from there."
"Do you think that I'm crazy? That I'll turn out like my sister?" Working Mind sighed and rubbed his forehead with his hoof.
"No, I don't," he responded.
"Even though I lived most of my life with Rarity up until she died?"
"Sweetie Belle, if I recall correctly, there have been forty-seven pony serial killers throughout the entire history of Equestria. each and every one of those forty-seven ponies had families, friends, ponies who cared about them very much. Many of them had children, none of whom turned out to be killers themselves. I don't think the odds of you turning out like your sister are very high at all to be honest."
"Why not?" asked Sweetie Belle.
"Do you want to hurt other ponies? Did you like the idea of attacking Barley Brewer last night?" asked Working Mind. Sweetie Belle immediately shook her head.
"No, I didn't want to hurt him. I only did it because he looked like he was going to attack me again."
"There you have it," replied Working Mind. "I see no reason to believe that what you did was malicious, especially if you don't. Self-defense is not a crime in any corner of Equestria."
"I still spent the night in jail, though," said Sweetie Belle.
"If I understand the rumors from the ponies that support you right, that was for your protection, yes?" Sweetie Belle nodded and the room was silent for a few moments.
"I still felt hurt, though," said Sweetie Belle after a few moments.
"Why is that?" asked Working Mind. Sweetie Belle sighed and continued staring at the ground.
"I just...I just can't shake the feeling that everypony is worried that I'm going to turn out just like my sister did. If you know the events of last night then you know that half the town was out for my blood. Me. They wanted to hurt me for defending myself."
"Well I won't sugarcoat it, Sweetie Belle; there are indeed ponies who are worried about that."
"But I've never wanted to hurt anypony in my life!" said Sweetie Belle.
"Forgive me for asking this, but...have you hurt anypony in your life?" Sweetie Belle's eyes filled with tears once more at the question and it took her every ounce of willpower to not begin crying at the question. Working Mind picked up on her sadness and gave a sad sigh of his own. "I take it that you have then." he said. Sweetie Belle slowly nodded.
"It...it was my first day back at school after Rarity died. There were two bullies that I went to school with back then named Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara. They immediately began verbally abusing me when I got back, even though my teacher tried to get them to stop."
"I assume they didn't even though your teacher told them to?" said Working Mind. Sweetie Belle nodded.
"I was sitting in a corner of the schoolyard with a friend during recess when the two came up to me again and started their verbal assaults. My friend tried to stop them, but...but they just wouldn't stop! Then diamond Tiara said that she was glad that Rarity was dead and that if I had any sense I would be too."
"Oh...oh my," said Working Mind. "What did you do then?" Tears began falling from Sweetie Belle's eyes now, despite her best efforts at holding them back.
"I...I couldn't help myself," she said. "I just felt so angry at her for what she said that I...I attacked her and began beating her up."
"Oh dear," said Working Mind.
"She was hurt pretty bad," said Sweetie Belle glumly. "It was a month before all of the bruises went away and from what I heard I even knocked a tooth out. Zecora healed that up, though." Working Mind jotted down a few more notes silently before looking back up at Sweetie Belle.
"Forgive me once more for asking such a stereotypical question, but...how did that make you feel?" Sweetie Belle took a deep breath and wiped her eyes with the back of her hoof.
"The same way that I felt after I attacked Barley Brewer: like a monster. I...I felt that everything that they were all saying to me was true, that I was going to turn out just like my sister."
"But you don't want that, do you?" Sweetie Belle shook her head.
"Dr. Mind, I loved my sister more than anypony in my life, even after I found out what she was doing. But...no, I don't want to hurt other ponies."
"You never want to kill even the ponies that hurt you or your friends like Rarity did?" Sweetie Belle vigorously shook her head.
"No, I don't."
"Why is that?" asked Working Mind. Sweetie Belle looked up at him with a confused look and he managed a small smirk. "Once again, that isn't me questioning what is right or wrong with you, I just want to know why you believe that, even if I feel that I already know the answer." Sweetie Belle took a deep breath and nodded.
"I remember the memorial we had for Rarity's victims," she began. "I remember just how torn up everypony was that their loved ones had died. Even if their loved ones did objectively horrible things to Rarity of her friends, that still doesn't justify killing them. When they died in that horrible way, it tore entire families apart. Rarity orphaned one of my best friends just because her father tried to extort her! Yes her father was wrong to extort my sister, but because she murdered him and his wife, my friend had to grow up in an orphanage. Nothing that he did was worth that."
To Sweetie Belle's surprise, Working Mind's face broke out into a wide smile.
"And there you have it," he said.
"Have what?" asked Sweetie Belle.
"There is the reason that I believe that you will not turn out like your sister. You know right from wrong, you know what committing that most heinous of sins can do to other ponies and it horrifies you. I do not think that you would ever kill, because you would never see it as okay, you would never find the reason in your mind to justify cold-blooded murder." Sweetie Belle merely stared at Working Mind.
"So what you're saying is..."
"I'm saying that mentally you are a perfectly normal mare, Sweetie Belle. The only two times that you have ever hurt another pony are both completely understandable. You did one out of self-defense and the other was out of anger that came out of a tragic situation combined with a frankly evil comment. You aren't some psychopath because you lost your temper because of some nasty remarks during the worst time of your life, even if you did really hurt her. Did you feel good about what you had done right after the attack?" Sweetie Belle shook her head. "Exactly. You are a normal mare who has had to cope with an event that few ponies in history have ever had to cope with before. There is no textbook advice that anypony could give you to make the pain go away, no magic words to make it all better. The mind has to deal with events like these as well as it can and, all things considered, I think you did alright for yourself."
For the first time since she had entered his office, Sweetie Belle managed a small smile.
"Thanks," she mumbled. Working Mind widened his own smile.
"Don't thank me," he said. "I'm just pointing out what any pony with half a brain could see." With that, Working Mind glanced at a nearby clock and took a deep breath. "Well, that is time for today. I thank you for coming in."
"Time already?" asked Sweetie Belle. Working Mind nodded.
"I'm afraid so," he said. "But...same time next week?" Sweetie Belle frowned. Technically she had done her duty to Featherweight, but to be honest, hearing from a professional that she wasn't completely insane...she kind of liked it. As far as she knew, Working Mind wasn't just making speculations, he was giving an unbiased, professional opinion of her. She wasn't insane.
Slowly, Sweetie Belle nodded.
"Same time next week," she confirmed.
Working Mind may not have thought that she was a psycho, but there were certainly other scars that needed healing.
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I'm really sorry that this took so long to get out. i have another story that I've been working on that really, really took off so I've been giving that my focus. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope you like some of the things I have planned going forward. without giving too much away, I'm really planning on putting that 'Tragedy' tag to good use. Bwahahahaha!
I'm glad this finally updated.
For some reason, I have the urge to read The Secret Life of Rarity again...
Wait, I know why. Its one of my all time favorites here!
1642849 Well, I just spent the past week doing some edits to make it flow easier and I really tightened up the grammar so...cool.
yarp>>1642189
1642863 lol Your NOT making things easy for me.
I have three stories in the works right now...
A Berry Punch x Mayor Mare shipping challenge story.
Twist's Loss for a challenge for Twist Appreciation Month.
And my own story that I have started on top of those two lol
Yeah... just tempt me away from my writing lol
1642953 Bitch please. I have 13.
3.bp.blogspot.com/-eg8ZL9xM3aY/T0iW-hdmL_I/AAAAAAAAAMk/M08r_DtRakw/s1600/Pinkie+Pie+Haters+Gonna+Hate.gif
1647199 little boy, I don't care if you have 130...
1) it was not between me and you, it was between me and the author.
2) apparently, you have no ability what-so-ever to distinguish between mild joking with him, and hating on him, leaving you with the idea that posting a meme will make you look "all that" or something.
If I was actually upset with him, I am certain he would have known. I cannot see any reason why I would be though. He is a writer, and he will post. I enjoy his stories, and I will read.
So, unless you have something that requires more than an IQ of 13, just take a chill and shut the craphole under your nose.
1647270 You didn't get the joke? I didn't say you were HATING I just said 'don't hate on me for having 13 stories'.
I just wanted to start an argument; something I do often when I'm bored.
Sorry for the confusion.
1647286 sorry for the confusion on my end as well.
I have a stressful day, and I end up thinking people are lashing out at me, when they were not. For that, I do apologize.
1647441 It's okay. I'm used to it.
I just read Rarity and this in one day. A very long day.
I feel scarred, but dang, were they good reads. This had a few mistakes, I think I saw two typos between all eight chapters. /shudders. At least I don't get nightmares much.
1677362 I'm really glad you enjoyed them and that you weren't totally turned off by the gore in the first one. Yeah, I make typos and such but I'm going through a major editing round for Rarity right now and I will probably do that for this one as well. Thanks for reading!
as the last one that i commented,this story is gorgeously written.
good luck for the other chapters.
... That seems really awkwardly phrased.
2252163 Fixed.
The edited first chapter of SLoR has the first death at months after her first day.
Can you edit this story to match that? You have it as the first day of school.
Rarity wasn't insane either though was she? She was just addicted to the rush. She didn't kill ponies because she was insane, she killed ponies because she was addicted. Unfortunately for Sweetie Belle getting a clean bill of mental health really means nothing in context.
Am i crazy for wnjoying this story and its prequil?
Oh well, guess i am. This is gonna be fun, heh heh he.
Welp tel the doc that my sescion will need to be m8ved up. Bye!
3601514 Depends on how you define insanity. If you define it by the actions the pony takes. Then I think Rarity was insane but I also think from a objective point of view all emotion or sentimentality is insane while sentimentality can consider any mind sane.
few she is not going to prison.
This is the reason I like reading completed or old stories
you don't have to wait for a new chapter to come which is hard especially if it is a really good story.
But why would she go to ANOTHER appointment
4202400 think of it like a chocolate chip cookie: it isn't a chocolate chip cookie without any chips. If you put only one chip, that's not a good chocolate chip cookie. You need more chips. Same goes for therapy: usually, the person ends up going more than once because they may feel okay when they leave, but give them some time and it will come back. To help heal the person they have to come often.
4541200 It's often far easier to see things as they are from the outside looking in.
You know, I was reading the bit where Sweetie first starts talking to Working Mind, and I started thinking. Ponies are worried that Sweetie's going to be a serial killer herself, right? But Sweetie doesn't want to hurt anyone. She didn't even want to hurt Barley Brewer. He wanted to hurt, maybe even kill her, but she didn't want to cause him any real harm. She's probably the least likely pony to be a serial killer - at least, right now. I'd actually say Barley is more likely to be dangerous, because he wants to hurt/kill an innocent pony for what a relative of hers did. If he does, who's to say he won't get a taste for hurting others for perceived slights? Granted, he doesn't seem like the type to be any good at it, but that's the second thing: I think that some ponies - maybe even most - aren't so much scared Sweetie will be a serial killer. You need only look at how she acts to see how unlikely that is. I think they're scared that, should she be pushed to the breaking point, she'll be more capable than most of killing someone and getting away with it. I think they're more scared of her potential skill than her potential actions.
Which leads to part three: that's all a load of drek. Every single person - pony or otherwise - in Ponyville could easily be a serial killer. Hell, everyone in Equestria has the potential for it. But looking at personalities and actions, Sweetie Belle is (at present) about as likely to be a killer as Dash or Applejack. Barley Brewer, though... I'd be a lot more suspicious of him. Willfully attacking an innocent pony, probable intent to kill, certain intent to cause severe injury... Who would you be more suspicious of? And more importantly, why?
I hope the ponies of Ponyville realize at some point that if they keep abusing her like this, Sweetie Belle has a more increased chance of confirming their fears. This is how these things happen. Idiots.
I hope the ponies of Ponyville realize at some point that if they keep abusing her like this, Sweetie Belle has a more increased chance of confirming their fears. This is how these things happen. Idiots.
4540886
Im having therapy myself, and I can say that the first five appointments were paperwork and faulty computers. After that, though? I like Binnie, she’s paid to be nice to me, which means she can’t turn her back on me.
obligatory I KNOW HE SWAPPED THOSE NUMBERS!
Damn. They got free therapy there or something? I know Sweetie Belle got a ton of money from Rarity and all, but there was no mention of copays or anything.