• Published 12th Sep 2012
  • 13,376 Views, 979 Comments

The Public Life of Sweetie Belle - BronyWriter



The story of how Sweetie Belle copes with the events of The Secret Life of Rarity

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The sequel hath arrived!

As TV Tropes would say: what it says on the tin.

Broken Blossom

Comments ( 162 )

This is going to be so awesome. :rainbowkiss:

2150247 I'm beyond honored that you think so and I hope you get the same feeling from Broken Blossom which is filled with even more of that.

Having said that, if you do 'bind it as a book and p-ass it out to your friends', wait for me to tighten it up a lot first. I'm going through a deep editing right now to make it flow nicer and just remove typos here and there. That kind of thing.

Seriously, though, I'm so glad that you liked it this much. It makes me feel beyond honored that you like it this much.

*reads comments*:raritystarry: *ending gets spoiled*:raritydespair: WHY DID I DO THAT?!?!?!

2167697 You know, I was wondering if somebody would...

Nothing... never mind. That line isn't a reference at all. I never said that it was!

2202500 Are you talking in terms of the EoH?

2202830 If the princesses aren't willing to just do the same thing with magic, they wouldn't be willing to use Twilight's machine.

2168234 Ha, I got that too and that image came to my head the second I heard it =P

But damnit, I was fearing this. Sweetie didn't kill anyone and I was so happy, now her foal has done what her mother most feared.

2207764 Well you read this one too and posted an analytical comment so I shall post a reply.

1. yeah the theme of this story and the next is that the actions of one can have effects for years to come. Rarity murdered over 100 beings so the repercussions of that will last generations, particularly for the ponies closest to her.
2. Yeah but to be fair I do have it be half and half but yes, those that hate Sweetie Belle for what her sister did REALLY hate her or at the very least distrust her a lot.
3. Yes they had to. It was too big of a character moment for them to not come into play. It would have been stereotypical and not as interesting if she had turned into a serial killer like Rarity. But even if she killed in the original that doesn't make her capable of being a serial killer as shown in the scene with Twilight. She can't make that disconnect that allowed Rarity to kill so easily.
4. *strokes cat like Bond villain* Would it really be that easy? But yes, she didn't really understand death. On top of that, she was so scared that she would turn out like her Aunt Rarity that when she was cornered and wanted to hurt them then she believed that she was like her aunt and thus became capable of murder, even if she didn't completely understand what she was doing.
5. Yes there is always two sides the murder coin in this one and the last. DT is partially at fault for raising her daughter to bully Sweetie Belle, but at the same time that doesn't mean she deserved to go through the emotional turmoil that comes from losing a child.

Overall I'm glad that you liked this one even thought it was just as, if not more, heart wrenching than the first one. I hope you like what I have in store for you in Broken Blossom!

2222294 Her alternative was what exactly? How does one sweep the murder of over 100 beings and the execution of a national hero and the arrest of five more under the rug?

2223587 They've only used it for flat out murder, something that's only happened 47 times in the history of Equestria. Did Rarity not deserve the death penalty for what she did? In Equestrian society, do you think a pony who murdered two children (and Rarity murdered seven I think) deserve the needle?

In terms of Twilight's machine, the princesses obviously don't see the machine (that she kept secret from the princesses) as ethical at all. If it just recalled dreams that's one thing, but it delves into a pony's mind and if the princesses aren't willing to do that with their magic (despite the fact that they're completely capable of it) then the wouldn't be willing to use Twilight's machine.

Slow motion plane crash. I like that. :twilightsmile:

2223869 At least nopony was executed.

2250286 Okay seriously, I need more than that if I'm going to fix it!

2251540 The show says forelegs. Not sure how they're forearms.

2252070 Not sure where you're from but in the states (or at the very least where I'm from) that's a perfectly acceptable spelling.

2252207 1. yep.

2. I never said he was world class so yeah, no reason it's unrealistic, particularly for a case like this.

2254455 Hoofball is just their football. I know here we don't capitalize football or baseball or soccer, or hockey so I don't see why they would capitalize hoofball.

With the kids, again, I'm working on it. Speaking of which, I made a TON of changes to Sweetie Belle's dialogue in the first five chapters if you wouldn't mind taking a look to see how I did.

2254525 Again, the show uses foreleg and, while I know forearm is more anatomically correct, it's harder for readers to make that connection and it doesn't make sense to 99% of readers. I have to pick my battles a bit.

2266003 Hmm. I'll look for those. Thanks!

2270314
That is literally what is referred to when one says 'generally'.

2255170
The show isn't exactly consistent, they even had Apple bloom refer to her hooves as feet at one point. :facehoof:

2271738 True, but like I said, it's more familiar with the readers and I have to pick my battles a bit. They know what I mean and its less irksome. I've seen a lot of writers get flak for saying arms.

2271871
Oh, I know, don't mind me. I just like to complain. :twilightsmile:

... Forearms! :trixieshiftleft:

First I would like to say, sorry I can't offer any fixes on the typing errors. I'm fairly new to the site and didn't know it was common to do so in the comments section. I promise I'll try in the next story. Im much more in to review anyways. As for the story I would have to say I was suprised to see how well executed this sequel was. It may not have been as lengthy as the first one, but obviously it didn't need to be. It really shows how Rarity's murders deeply affected everyones live. It seemed that everyone's emotional response at the beginning was well suited, as well as the social hardships later in Sweetie Belles life and how it affected even her daughter(despite it having happened 20 years ago).
But, I didn't empathize as much as I did the first story. In matter of fact, I became less embursed in the story as it went on, most likely due to the multiple time leaps. Also, I would almost have preffered the execution ending over the life imprisonment one, as it would have provided a final(and ironic) angst blow to a generally angst story, but then again I havent read the threequel yet so I don't know where that will eventually go. Nevertheless this story has ganered a thumbs up from me and I look forward to the next one.

2375626 Well the ending I think makes the ending I have planned for Broken Blossom better. I do regret the multiple time leaps but I didn't see a way around them unless I wanted to make this story longer then Fallout: Equestria. I went where the important things happened. I do admit that this one isn't as good as the original but few sequels are. I hope you like Broken Blossom!

2421729 Yeah I did, the Nightmare Night chapter. A bell and eight note

2434540 When Sweetie confronts Twi and breaks down in the basement after Twi says "Make it quick".

2464800 For goodness sakes, dude, you clearly have nothing but pure contempt for this series so just stop reading. And ' Random characters doing random things just for the gore of it.'? Puh-leeze. Don't insult my writing skills while at the same time proving that you really aren't reading deeply into it. The original had gore because Rarity was a serial killer. How many ponies die in this one? Two. Off screen. Quickly.

Seriously, just. Stop. Reading if you hate it so much and you clearly do.

2464817 Hey, instead of spouting off stuff like that and giving me a hit-and-run thumbs down, how about you actually give me your points and maybe let me defend myself? Be a man about this or just stop reading.

2464817 I have no idea what the hell you're saying but I personally don't have a problem with this story, I actually enjoyed it up to a point simply because of how it was written. Sadly this isn't my cup of tea, so I stopped following the 3rd in this series after it became too obvious when bad things were going to happen.

2464860 And I completely respect that and you and applaud you for knowing your limits on stuff like this. :pinkiehappy: (No, I am not being sarcastic).

2464871 No worries, I really liked the first part because it was more about the psychological aspect of the killings rather than simple blood and gore, not another Cupcakes remake, but something close enough to still be horrifying. :twilightsmile:

2510457 I'm... glad? Well, I'm glad you liked it so much at any rate.

I just finished this, and I have to say: you did it again, you amazing bastard. You have captured my mind with this story. Good job, you have made me laugh, cry, smile, and go D'awwwww. good work!

I liked The Secret Life Of Rarity! :unsuresweetie::raritycry:

2615552 Nope. Not at all. If you can back up the logic that Rarity went straight to hell, that's a perfectly valid interpretation.

This story, while not as much of an emotional rollercoaster as The Secret Life of Rarity was to me, was quite intense. Read it in 90 mins, minus a few bathroom breaks over the course of 2 hours.

2632966 Well, I hope you enjoy the other three stories in the series. :pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy:

2632972
Thanks, beginning Broken Blossom now.

I powered throught this one as well and I can say that I'm disappointed. Not in you, not by a long shot, but at the same time I am disappointed in you. I.....I don't know. It just tears me up inside that nobody can catch a break. First it was Sweetie Belle then it was Sweetie Belle again and now it's Blossom. Damn it man I know it woldn't have been a happy ending but why didn't you just end it here? Did you already have the whole trilogy thought out or have you been making it up as you go along? I just don't know how to feel about this whole situation. I feel everything is terrible and no one can escape it......I'm sad..........

2818281 I think the ending of Broken Blossom will be more your speed, then. I can't promise singing and roses, nor would you want that, but it doesn't end with Celestia lopping Blossom's head off as Sweetie Belle gets burned alive.

2818723 Of course not. Celestia would be lopping off Sweetie's head while Blossom is burned alive. You right though. I wouldn't want singing and roses but I just wanted something better than this.

After the events of The Secret Life of Rarity, Sweetie Belle must find a way to cope in a wold that she does not understand anymore.

I haven`t read the story yet, but this just stuck out for me. I`m about to read this.

2833635 Wow. How did I not notice that for that long?

2838928 1. Rarity killed by that age, something they're taking into account.

2. Blossom had more opportunity than Sweetie Belle.

3. When questioned about it, Blossom says that she thought that she was the killer, meaning that at some point Blossom truly believed that she killed them making Sweetie Belle covering up her daughter's involvement a possible option.

2861011

G-necklace and fire ruby had undeniable intent to harm blossom

But they didn't. They never said they were going to. PC and PL flat out said that if that was the case, then it would be self-defense.

This is the second time I have read through this threequel, and I still love it! SO SAD! You are an excellent writer and very creative.

2868833 So you didn't cry, but almost kinda maybe did.

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