Twilight Sparkle burst into the Ponyville police station, her friends and the other two Crusaders behind her. She instantly spotted Featherweight sitting on a bench and staring at the floor.
"Featherweight, what happened?! Where are they?!" asked the frantic unicorn.
Featherweight sadly looked up at the seven ponies and one dragon and shook his head. "She killed them," he muttered. "She killed Fire Ruby and Golden Necklace."
"Who killed them?" asked Applejack.
"That's the thing: we don't know yet," said Featherweight. "Either Sweetie Belle or her foal but we're not sure which."
"Oh my Celestia," whispered Apple Bloom.
"I need to see them," commanded Twilight.
"You can't," said Featherweight. "Investigations are still going on and the Princesses still--"
That was all Twilight needed to hear. Without another word she rushed towards the restricted area of the police station. She was vaguely aware of Featherweight making a half-hearted attempt to stop her, but she passed through largely unopposed.
Remembering the layout of the station, Twilight guessed that the princesses would be inside one of the interrogation rooms and she headed there first. She burst through the first door she found and sure enough, Celestia and Luna were in the room. Also in the room was another pony whom Twilight didn't recognize and worst of all, she saw Blossom sitting on a table, shivering like it was ten below in the room and still covered in blood.
The Princesses looked at Twilight as she entered the room and Luna frowned. "Thou should not be in here, Twilight Sparkle. You have no business here."
"I do have business here," growled Twilight. "I need to know what happened!"
"We all do, Twilight," said Celestia. "That is why Blossom is here. We are trying to discern the truth of the matter."
"Where is Sweetie Belle?" asked Twilight.
"She is being held in one of the cells," said Luna. "We have already questioned her."
"And?"
Celestia and Luna shared an uncomfortable look. "And... she confessed to the crime," said Luna. "We are asking this officer here about forensic matters."
Twilight's jaw quivered and she let out a whimper. Her hind legs gave out and she sat on her haunches. "Why?” she whispered, more to herself than anypony else.
"Twilight Sparkle, we must ask you to leave right now. You cannot be here for this," said Luna.
Twilight looked back up at the night princess, a flash of defiance in her eyes. "I may not have business here, but somepony needs to be here for Blossom, somepony who isn't just interested in whether or not she killed two ponies who were tormenting her!" Twilight quickly got up and materialized a blanket. She rushed over to the filly and draped it over her shoulders. "Whether she did it or not, she's still just a filly who's scared and wants her mommy. Princesses or not, you need to treat her better than some common criminal!"
Luna glanced over at Celestia who closed her eyes and sighed. "You are correct, Twilight," she said. "Forgive us. We have not had to deal in matters like this involving a filly in many centuries. You may stay, but only for the foal."
Twilight nodded and jumped up on the table next to Blossom and wrapped her forelegs around her in a hug. "Can I get something to wash the blood off?" she asked.
"I'm afraid not," said the stallion. "We need that as evidence to see if the splatter is consistent with somepony who was merely close to the event, or perpetrated it."
"She's just a foal!!" screeched Twilight. "She doesn't need to be covered in blood and treated like a piece of evidence!"
"Twilight, you forget yourself," said Luna. "We will remove the blood the second we have gathered all we can from it."
"Please believe us, Twilight," said Celestia. "This hurts us to do just as much as it does you. We do not gain any enjoyment out of this and we wish we didn't have to do it. But we must if the truth is to be determined."
Twilight slowly nodded and began stroking Blossom's mane. The other pony in the room looked uncomfortably at Celestia and cleared his throat. "Er, if I may, I would like to finish up my analysis," he said.
"Of course," said Celestia. She turned to Twilight. "Twilight, I'm afraid that we need to take Blossom's blanket off. I promise you we'll be quick." The princess fired up her horn and the blanket fell from around Blossom's shoulders. Immediately the filly started shaking again.
"Shhh," said Twilight soothingly. "It's okay. You're okay."
Blossom flinched as the flash of a camera went off. She whimpered and tried to cling to Twilight, but Luna's magic ensured that she stayed still. The camera flashed again and Blossom began quietly sobbing.
"Surely you have what you need," said Celestia. "No more pictures are required?"
"I suppose not," said the stallion.
Celestia nodded and fired up her horn. Instantly the blood faded away and the blanket wrapped itself around Blossom once more. The frightened filly clung to Twilight and sobbed into her shoulder.
"Thank you, princesses, that will be all from me," said the stallion who instantly departed from the room, closing the door behind him.
Twilight continued stroking Blossom's mane and looked up at her ex-mentor. "Princess Celestia, if you're done with her I'd like to go get her something to eat, or at least something to calm her down a bit so she can think straight."
"Soon, Twilight, very soon," said Celestia. "I'm afraid that we must ask her some questions."
"Hasn't she been through enough already?!" Twilight snarled. "How can you be so insensitive to this poor filly?"
"Twilight, do you think that we want to do this?" asked Celestia. "I say again, do you think that we get even the slightest moment of enjoyment out of this? I must remind you, Twilight, she is a suspect in a brutal double-homicide of two fillies like herself. We know this hurts, we know that nopony in this room is enjoying this process but we need answers, I'm sorry."
Twilight sighed and Celestia saw tears dripping onto the blanket. "What's going to happen to them?" she whispered.
"That largely depends on who did it," said Celestia. "But questions such as that can wait." Celestia turned her attention to Blossom. "Blossom, can you hear me?" Twilight was relieved to hear a hint of gentleness in the ruler's voice. "I need to ask you some questions and I especially need you to answer them truthfully."
"Okay," Blossom whispered shakily.
"Blossom, I need to know what happened. Why were you in the woods with those two foals?"
Blossom took a few deep breaths and tightened her grip on Twilight. "I...I was at recess with a few other foals. We were playing hoofball and one of the colts in my class, Punter, accidentally kicked it too hard. He asked me if I could go get it, and so I did. G-G-G-Golden N-N-Necklace and F-F-Fire Ruby were waiting for me in the forest. I don't know how they knew I'd be there, but they were there. They began teasing me and saying bad things to me."
"Why did they do that?" asked Celestia.
"They did bad things to me," whimpered the filly. "I didn't know about my Aunt Rarity and how she was a bad pony, but they showed me what she did when they put a newspaper article on my desk on my first day of school. Miss Cheerilee and Mommy found out about it, and Miss Cheerilee said that they couldn't go to school there anymore. I think that's why."
Celestia nodded. "You said they said bad things to you, did they ever threaten to hurt you?"
Blossom's sobs became more pronounced, but she slowly managed to gain enough control to shake her head.
"I see," said Celestia. "What did they say to you?"
"Th-th-they called me names and said I was a freak. They said I'd turn out to be a bad pony like Aunt Rarity, that I'd have those sad feelings too and I'd do the bad things that she did because their mommies told them so. They said that my Mommy did those bad things and that I was a b-b-bastard foal of an evil mommy and an inbred daddy."
"What then?" asked Celestia.
"Princess Celestia, that's enough! Just look at her!"
"Twilight, we have to have answers! I promise you that this isn't any easier for me than you or Blossom," said Celestia, the hint of softness used when talking to Blossom replaced with a sharpness that unnerved Twilight. "Blossom, what happened then?"
Blossom sniffled for a few seconds. "Th-they said that I'd be a bad pony like my Aunt Rarity. Th-they said it so much that I..." Blossom suddenly let out a piercing wail. "I believed them! I wanted to get away, to go back to school or Mommy but they wouldn't let me go! I... I wanted to hurt them because they wouldn't let me go! W-w-w-when I thought that I wanted to hurt them; I believed them that I was going to be a bad pony. I am a bad pony!"
"Celestia, that's enough!" growled Twilight.
"Blossom, did you hurt them?" questioned Celestia.
"I...I...I don't know!" wailed Blossom. "I thought I did, but Mommy told me that she did it. I didn't want to hurt them, if I did then I didn't mean to, but they just wouldn't let me go!"
Celestia opened her mouth to respond, but a blue hoof was placed on her shoulder. "Tia, we can get no more from this poor dear right now."
Celestia closed her mouth and eyes and the room was filled with Blossom's heaving sobs for a few moments.
"You're right, sister," said Celestia. "Forgive me if I pressed too much." She looked up at Twilight. "The room next to this one, it should be empty and fairly comfortable. If you could arrange for Blossom to be taken there, I will have food and drink sent there at once."
Twilight nodded with more than a hint of a glare in her eyes. She used her magic to wrap the blanket tighter over Blossom and then levitated the distraught filly onto her back. She quickly left the room, slamming the door behind her with, admittedly, a little more force than was required. She quickly walked over to the next room which seemed to be a break room of sorts. Twilight gently put Blossom onto one of the more comfortable chairs and then glanced over towards the wall dividing the room that the two were in with the one the royal sisters occupied.
Sighing, Twilight turned around and saw a water cooler and she quickly filled up a paper cup and placed it in front of Blossom. The filly taken care of for the moment, Twilight turned back to the wall and fired up her horn. Instantly the wall before her seemed to melt and she was given a view into the room.
She gasped when she saw the scene in front of her and nearly broke the spell. Luna had her forelegs wrapped around Celestia who was sobbing into her sister's shoulder. Twilight had never seen the royal alicorn cry like this. In fact, she hadn't ever seen her cry at all. The sight was more than a little unsettling.
"I thought this was over, Luna," whispered Celestia. "I thought that we wouldn't have to do this anymore."
"Tia, while I might have been gone for a long time, I do know that our ponies are not perfect. Somewhere one would spring up capable and willing to do this most heinous of crimes."
"I know that," said Celestia. "I meant Sweetie Belle and her family. I...I thought that their record would not be blemished with any more death for whatever reason. You know how it tore me apart to see Rarity put to death."
"I do," said Luna. "You wept privately for days. We both did, both for the tragedy of the killer and the horror of her victims."
"And now this. We have to do this again!"
"Mayhaps," said Luna. "I fear this is more complex than we see. As horrible as it was, the case of Rarity was simple. She was guilty and that was the end of that. But this... whomever the killer may be, nothing about this sits right with Us."
"Nothing is right about it, Luna," said Celestia. "Whatever else happens, two foals are dead guilty of nothing more than the crime of schoolyard taunts."
"There was far more venom to their taunts than mere schoolyard rivalries We think," said Luna. Twilight almost gasped once more when she saw that the night princess's face was also streaked with tears. "We doubt that they truly grasped the gravity of what they were saying. If you recall from the child's testimony, she stated that the fillies referenced the influence of their mothers in the taunting. Our guess is that they heard them talking and decided it would make for hurtful speech."
"Whatever else was the cause, they are dead," said Celestia.
Twilight actually saw her wipe her eyes with a wing. She didn't want to admit it, but there was something... equine about that simple action. She was the goddess of the sun, and to see her do that...
"Indeed, sister," said Luna. "They are dead."
"What will become of them, whoever is guilty?" asked Celestia. "Are we going to stoop to executing a foal who felt helpless? Do we kill her mother for going too far in the protection of her child?"
Luna took a deep breath and Twilight was equally unnerved at the look of helplessness that flashed across Luna's face. "We...We are not sure," she said. "Severe punishment must be given, no matter the perpetrator. If the foal is to blame and Equestria learns that we did not punish her, then how will that affect tormented foals across the land who find themselves in the same position. Thou know as well as We that a painful death is not suitable punishment for verbal torment."
"And if even one foal that does not fully grasp death sees that it was an out for Blossom, then that foal may try to repeat her actions without expecting consequences," finished Celestia.
"The same for Sweetie Belle. If a mother discovers that her child is being bullied and sees that Sweetie Belle was not harshly punished, then she may also try to repeat her actions. If even one does and it was preventable here..."
Celestia slowly nodded and took a deep breath. She rose to her hooves and wiped her eyes once more, an action that Luna copied. "So we have decided that the killer in this scenario must receive a strict punishment. Does that mean death? Rarity was a serial killer. Sweetie Belle and Blossom were merely trying to escape a cruel predicament."
"Murder is not the answer to that predicament, and this was murder," said Luna. The Lunar goddess sighed once more and put a hoof over her eyes. "We do not wish ill fortune upon that foal, but if the deceased had attacked then it would be a simple matter of self-defense and the pair would likely find themselves safe at home."
"But it is as you said, sister, however cruel the taunts were, that does not justify killing them," said Celestia. Luna nodded. "But that doesn't answer my question: should the punishment be the needle?"
"In the case of a successful double murder of largely innocent foals, what alternative would thou suggest?" asked Luna. "Imprisonment? How long do you think a foal murderer would last in there in either case, no matter what we did? House arrest? For a double murder? Once more it harkens to our fear that a light punishment would be encouragement for one overly protective mother to carry out a murder of her own."
"I don't know, Luna, I just don't know," whispered Celestia.
"Imprisonment is a death sentence in either case. Thou knows how ponies sentenced to solitary confinement waste away into nothingness and an extremely early death. They go mad after a tragically short time. The Creator made us for Equine interaction."
"I know," said Celestia. "I--" Before Celestia could continue, a sharp trio of knocks brought them out of their conversation. "Come in."
A diminutive stallion quickly entered, levitating a manila folder behind him. He quickly bowed to the princesses. "Your highnesses, I have completed my examinations of... of the unfortunate foals."
"And?" said Celestia.
The unicorn stumbled over to the wall opposite him and levitated a pair of pictures out. Twilight gasped when she saw them. They were of the bodies of Golden Necklace and Fire Ruby. Holy Celestia, Sweetie Belle or Blossom had done that? Twilight had to admit, were it anypony else, she would have demanded the execution of the murderers.
"As you can see from the pictures, the wounds are fairly large. It is my conclusion that the filly would not have done it. While I understand that she was powerful for her age, the size and strength behind the gashes are more akin to what an adult unicorn would be capable of."
"Could the foal have experienced a surge in her distressed state?" asked Luna.
The stallion shook his head. "I think the wounds would have been deeper and less... precise, if you will," said the stallion. "The strength of the blow from a magical surge would have left chunks of the stone in the wounds and we found none. No, whatever else may have happened, these wounds were caused by the mother."
The room was silent as the two sisters stared at the photos in front of them. The stallion was looking at the floor, clearly unable to look at the pictures for any longer than he had to. Finally, Celestia broke the silence. "Thank you. You may go."
The stallion bowed and put the pictures back in the folder before departing.
"So it was Sweetie Belle, then," said Celestia.
"It would seem that way based on the wounds, but what if she caused them to avert suspicion from her child?"
"What if she covered them up?" Celestia shook her head. "Then Blossom is guilty of murder and Sweetie Belle is guilty of tampering with evidence, mutilating two dead bodies, and aiding a murderer."
The weight of those words hit Twilight like a sack of bricks and she almost didn't want to watch anymore. In fact, she still questioned why she had begun in the first place. She glanced over at Blossom who had thankfully curled up on the chair and fallen asleep. Good. She needed her rest if she was going to face what may be the rest of her short life.
"If the foal is guilty, then Sweetie Belle faces a long time of imprisonment for those crimes," said Luna. Celestia nodded. "If Sweetie Belle is to blame, then do we sentence a filly to life without her mother?"
"We sentenced Sweetie Belle to life without her older sister, somepony she was closer to than her own parents."
"The sister was a serial killer; Sweetie Belle was overzealous in her attempts to protect her daughter."
"Either way ponies are dead at the hooves of another," said Celestia. "If Blossom killed the foals, then that means that Sweetie Belle is guilty of the crimes I mentioned before. Whatever we do to Blossom, Sweetie Belle must go to prison for those crimes. If we do not execute Blossom, then she is without a mother either way. If we do, then Sweetie Belle spends the rest of her life with the knowledge that her daughter is dead on top of a ten year minimum prison sentence."
"And conversely, if Sweetie Belle is to blame then execution or imprisonment leaves Blossom without her mother."
Celestia nodded. "And only one committed a crime potentially worthy of execution. We cannot execute them both."
"To unjustly execute one makes us no better than the one who committed the crime in the first place."
Celestia sighed and she seemed to be fighting back tears once more. "Very well. We shall have to think on this some more, sister," she said.
Luna nodded just as Twilight powered down the spell.
The lavender unicorn could only stare at the blank wall in shock of what she had just heard. She couldn't know for sure, but it seemed that one of the two would die. She looked over at Blossom who was still sleeping and walked over to her. Gently, she lifted up the filly and sat down in her place. She tightened the blanket over her and cradled her close.
* * * *
On the other side of the station, Sweetie Belle was lying down in her cell with a thin blanket draped over she shoulders. She had expected something to have happened by now. She had expected to have undergone the surgery to remove her horn before her inevitable execution. She had expected something, but nothing had happened since she had been in here.
Sweetie Belle curled up into a tighter ball and hugged her pillow close. It was a poor substitute for her daughter. She wanted Blossom there with her. She wanted to hold her, to tell her that everything would be alright and that they could go home soon. Instead, she was alone in her cell with only a pillow for comfort and her daughter was Faust knows where.
She became vaguely aware that hoofsteps were coming closer to her cell. She swiveled her ears to the noise and looked up when they stopped in front of the door. Instead of Celestia or Luna coming to sentence her, it was a lone cop.
"You have two visitors," he said. He looked over and beckoned two unseen ponies over before departing.
Curious, Sweetie Belle got off her bed and stood in the middle of the cell. Hopefully it was Twilight or Apple Bloom, come to tell her what was going on and maybe tell her how her daughter was. She prayed that it was so, but her heart sank when she saw who it really was.
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Dejected, Sweetie Belle sat on her haunches and tried to stare at the ground. Whatever scraps of dignity she had left prevented that and she forced herself to make eye contact with her tormentors.
Diamond Tiara was staring at Sweetie Belle with a look of utter fury on her face while Silver Spoon's visage looked strangely blank, as if the shock hadn't quite hit her yet. It likely hadn't.
"You. You murdering, psychopathic SCUM OF EQUESTRIA!!" screeched Diamond Tiara. "YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED MY DAUGHTER!"
Sweetie Belle remained silent. Part of her wanted to retort, to say that Golden Necklace had deserved it for trying to hurt her own daughter, but she stayed mute.
"I knew they should have put you down with your sister!" spat the vindictive mare. "They should have put you on the table next to her and stabbed you right in the heart and put you down like the animal you are! I hope they do that, I hope they take you and your worthless foal and put you down like ANIMALS FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!"
"No," whispered Silver Spoon to the surprise of Sweetie Belle. "You did it."
Diamond Tiara frowned and turned to her friend. "Excuse me?" she growled. "I wasn't the one who butchered them! I had nothing to do with it!"
"Yes you did," said Silver Spoon. "I...If you hadn't t-t-told them to p-p-put the news article in her book, then they wouldn't have gotten expelled and felt the need to hurt her in revenge a-and they'd still be alive. In fact, if you didn't teach them to be so cruel then none of this would have h-h-happened at all!"
Diamond Tiara looked like Silver Spoon had just slapped her upside the head. "But they--"
If Diamond Tiara was shocked by Silver Spoon's words, then she was even more shocked when Silver Spoon's hoof collided with the side of her head, knocking her to the ground. Diamond Tiara fell with a yelp of pain and Silver Spoon was quick to get on top of her and begin wailing on her. "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO BE SO MEAN?!" she screamed. "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE SO MEAN TO SWEETIE BELLE AND HER INNOCENT FOAL?! WHY COULDN'T YOU LEAVE HER ALONE?!" Diamond Tiara screamed as blow after blow rained down upon her. Finally, Silver Spoon had enough and she got off of Diamond Tiara and huddled in the corner, sobbing loudly. "Fire Ruby! Fire Ruby!" she wailed. "I'm sorry! Mommy's sorry that she let Diamond Tiara have any influence over you at all! Mommy's so sorry!"
The cop who had escorted the duo in walked up to the pair, looking at the scene in shock. Silver Spoon saw him walk up and quickly wrapped her hooves around his neck and sobbed into his shirt. "Mommy's sorry, Fire Ruby! Mommy's very sorry!"
"M...Miss Spoon I need you to--"
"I want my foal back!" she cried. "I want my foal back so I can tell her how sorry Mommy is! I...I want to have her back so I can raise her right!"
Sweetie Belle cocked her head slightly as she saw the officer try to pick Silver Spoon up. She was surprised to see tears in his eyes as well. "Miss Spoon if you'll please come with me." he said. He slowly helped Silver Spoon get to her hooves and escorted her out of the hallway. As she left, she snapped her hind leg out and kicked Diamond Tiara in her own foreleg, causing the latter to flinch forward.
Silver Spoon's sobs slowly faded away as she was led back to the main area of the station, leaving only a battered Diamond Tiara and an imprisoned Sweetie Belle. Sweetie Belle saw Diamond Tiara sit up slightly and reach a hoof out towards the retreating Silver Spoon.
"No, Silver Spoon, don't leave me," she whimpered. Sweetie Belle was mildly shocked to see the look on Diamond Tiara's face. She had never seen her tormentor look so... vulnerable.
Diamond Tiara silently looked around and wiped some of the blood off of her face with the back of a hoof. She blinked once when her eyes landed on a small saddlebag which she had been wearing when she had come in but was broken off when Silver Spoon hit her. The bag had come open and a small golden necklace, the kind a foal would wear, was poking out.
Slowly Diamond Tiara reached for it and pulled it out of the bag. It was the one that Golden Necklace wore; much like her mother paraded her namesake jewelry around. Diamond Tiara blankly pulled the necklace close and held it tight to her body. Blood dripped from her muzzle onto the necklace, mixing with the tears that had begun pouring from Diamond Tiara's face.
"Mommy misses you," she whispered. "I'm s-sorry too." She nuzzled the necklace and began singing as if her foal was in her forelegs. "Hush my baby, your mother loves you very much,
don't cry my baby, your mother loves you very much,
though time may pass, my love will last,
you are my baby and I will love you f-f-f-" Diamond Tiara collapsed on the ground, loud sobs shaking her body to the core.
I believe Silver Spoon should go out, have another foal and raise that one right, because she seems to have the potential for redemption.
1995502 Might want to give her three or four years to emotionally recover from having her first one murdered.
you make me feel sad with this story and make me feel happy with the TD Story, at the end i feel twisted, how do you do that? i don't know but well done.
One question: The age of a pony in this "universe" is the same that you use in the "TD universe"? (if i vaguely remember is 120 years or something like that).
If Blossom doesn't die (which is likely for the sequel), I hope to god she doesn't have kids.
On another note, Yay! Two updates!
Whoa, two updates in less than 12 hours. Good...
And now Twilight knows too much. And she is powerless to do anything about that. And we all have our hearts punctured by knowing that.
And, still, we want to know more.
1995613 Well it's general headcanon for my anyway given how freaking old Granny Smith is and she still has living aunts probably thirty years older than she is at least if you remember the Apple Family Reunion episode. So yes.
1995673 So then, how old is twilight now? let's see. If twilight have more or less the same age as rarity and the story begin in the first day of school (six year old i suppose) then 6+5+3+5+........aaaaahh carajo!! I have to read all the story again to know the age of Twilight. Ok let's see, first chapter ......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
1995752 mid-to-late thirties, so still fairly young. Sweetie Belle is roughly 13 years younger than Twilight as she was born when Rarity was 13.
1995759 Ok thanks, that made things easier. I can not read the first chapter again, it's too sad for me.
Regardless of your wish to avoid cliches, this is just... Man... Life is a brutal thing at the best of times. This is 10 clones of Murphy's Law gangbanging life, then killing it by stabbing it repeatedly in the stomach with a rusted spoon. So to speak.
Cliche or not, I really would have liked to see Sweetie Belle and Joyous Blossom lead a somewhat normal life. This... Too much, man. Too much.
Goes to show how much the actions of one can echo for years.
You've set the bar for the end of this story. I really hope you can pull it off.
And THAT is the theme of both this story and the next.
What happened to exile? Probably execution makes things interesting.
1995673 Isn't Granny Smith meant to be about 200 years plus. Winter Wrap Up states that Ponyville hasn't used magic for 'hundreds of years', with the plural denoting more than one. Family Appreciation Day clealy shows that Granny Smith was already a young adult when Ponyville was founded.
LIkely just a simple lore mistake, but interesting nonetheless.
On the subject of the actual chapter, I like moments when Silver Spoon manages to break out from Diamond Tiara's shadow and become her own pony. I could imagine her rage when she finally came to terms with the fact that her foal was dead because Diamond and Golden had taught Fire Ruby to be a jerk.
1995814
There could be many more stories about every pony dealing with the fallout of Rarity's actions. It is interesting to see as most fiction would have ended with Rarity's death. You seem to have a solid grasp of how hurt they all are, even Diamond Tiara who finally breaks down at the end. She finally realizes she is responsible for her daughters death, and at the same time the murder of any pony is still wrong.
I can't wait to see how they resolve this, so I'll probably re-read everything until the next chapter while I wait.
WOW! Between this, and the first story... this is one of the most powerful chapters you have written.
This is well written, and you did manage to have a bit of a tug on the garrote-wires I have instead of heart-strings, but I can't really take back the fact that I saw this all coming, and not a sufficiently dread-y way. I mean, you just kinda spent a story doing this, and it's starting to lose effect. You explained it well, and you showed good enough motivation, which helps a lot, and the characters were believable, so that's pretty good! I don't regret having read this at all, I just feel there was a bit of wasted potential.
1997807 1. You don't know what the threequel is going to look like. 2. What would have been the better course? What would have been the course you preferred?
Keep in mind that this chain of events isn't simple. It constantly builds upon itself and it was a perfect storm of tragedies that compound on Sweetie Belle and Blossom. A. Diamond Tiara still likes making life hard for Sweetie Belle.
B. She would pass that down to her child in relation to Sweetie Belle's child.
C. That's how she found out about Rarity, in the cruelest way possible.
D. When she found out, she was in constant fear that she would turn out the same way, as evidenced by the fact that she kept asking Sweetie Belle if she would.
E. When Golden Necklace and Fire Ruby cornered her in the woods, they tormented her and told her that she would turn out like her aunt and in her distressed state, she felt a flash of wanting to hurt them and as such, she began to believe them to the point where she did it.
it wasn't an off thing, it was a long chain of events that stretched back years. Keeping A-D in mind (which you have to admit, were necessary story elements) where else should I have taken it? I set up conflict between Golden and Blossom to mirror the ones between Sweetie Belle and Diamond Tiara, something that would make sense in the show itself. Cheerilee expelling them is hardly a payoff, even if that was the punishment they deserved. Would Diamond Tiara or her daughter really let it go, especially when they feel that they are in the right?
I'm sorry I you found it predictable, but when I took into account canon personalities, canon interactions, how Tiara acted in the beginning of this story, the fact that her daughter would undoubtedly turn out just as mean in relation to Blossom, the fact that a 'they lived happily ever after' would have been a pretty weak ending to a story with a 'tragedy' tag (though to be fair, it'll have to do for a lot of stories until FimFiction adds a 'drama' tag), this was where the road led.
What do you think would have been better, keeping in mind those factors?
1998030 Well, first off, it's not my story, I don't write tragedy stories. But there's some ways you could have taken it that were less predictable. Like, if Golden Necklace and Fire Ruby started hurting her and, in fear of turning in to Rarity, Blossom either didn't fight back or ran in to a worse situation where she would have gotten killed, thus leading to Golden Necklace and Fire Ruby being tried for murder. It could also lead to some pretty deep character interaction with eachother.
That's just one example, but it was the first that came to mind.
The one person (pony) that rarity tried the hardest to protect is the one that's getting hit the hardest.
1998864 And that is one of the bigger tragedies of the series.
Haha, you're story is going to get me fired. Spent 20 minutes of a 15 minute break at work to read this, boss came in and wasn't too pleased that I was reading fanfics on a company computer when I was supposed to be out on the floor stocking. Totally worth it.
........wow....I can see this ending badly for a lot of ponies....no matter what happens someone is gonna die....it gives me chills
1995759
Hasn't 20 years at least passed since the beginning of this story? Granted, didn't entirely read this in one go (despite recent fave/track might lead you to believe) or read The Secret Life of Rarity first, but pretty sure I remember the time skips being equivalent to that (ten years when she first attacked someone in this story, three years after she moved on from her past to giving birth to her foal and dunno how long had her pregnancy being, and seven years to current events), but I would think more likely late 30s to early 40s, if didn't forget or make a mistake. Since I don't think Celestia would've sent the equivalent of a teenager in human years to live in Ponyville by herself, no matter how smart she is or how fast or what age in your own headcanon ponies age to be an adult. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
Anyway, this story has been quite a roller-coaster and I must admit, little off-put by recent events, even knowing this was labeled Tragedy (and Sad I think, but probably felt was redundant?) from the get-go. I know the Princesses/Equestrian law has to punish someone, but it still seems unfair, kinda. And boy, did I hate Golden Necklace and Fire Ruby from first reading about it and knew they were probably gonna tattle about Rarity to her niece/Sweetie's foal. I honestly hope this cycle doesn't continue into the possible(?) third, with a new killer in the family, if (as I'm currently guessing) Blossom gets off and they only punish Sweetie Belle. Gah... I really hate the Princesses here, even if doing their job as they say and Twilight's spell allowed her/us to see a different side to them, kinda. And part with Silver Spoon/Diamond Tiara/Sweetie Belle was a bit dramatic/high-strung, but seemed to be in-character, mostly. With how this story's played out and recent chapters.
Well, waiting on the final few(?) chapters to see where it all goes. Even if not gonna kinda like it with reading about whomever dying, despite having read this series/story of my own decision, kinda.
What about an Insanity Plea? That should avoid all the political problems of balancing the death penalty, and the evidence - along with past incidents - does support it.
"It is the decision of the Solar Court that the Unicorn Mare Sweetie Belle, based on testimony of witnesses and suspects as well as evidence presented by the Royal Guard and Ponyville Police, was NOT in control of her faculties at the time of the killings, and is Mentally Unfit to Stand Trial. Furthermore, it is our decision that she be Institutionalized at the Ponyville General Hospital's Psychiatric Care Ward for treatment, and that the Unicorn Filly Joyous Blossom be remanded to the Foster Care of the Unicorn Mare Twilight Sparkle."
2002715
Yes. To save all my feels, yes.
Um, much as I like this story (which is a lot, your ability to juggle long term motivation payoffs is stellar), a typo that obvious kinda killed a really big moment.
2007039 Fixed. Better?
You sir are giving me feels like I've never felt before.
You are truly a master of feels. seriously. The moral dilemmas presented in this chapter are extraordinary. There are no words for how much I love this fanfiction. I might just bind it as a book and pass it out to friends as an example of good fanfiction. The amount of profound writing in this are just... I'm seriously flustered as I write this. You have once again astounded me with your writing. NEVER STOP WRITING. EVER. I don't know if I should be because of the killing and morals and such, be because of the amazing amount of karmic retribution or because of the questions posed in this chapter. I seriously cannot express my love for you in words.
1995639
The Cycle cannot be broken.
Boy, Celestia & Luna just have like, absolute faith in the Death Penalty as a deterrence.....in a society where death is unheard of.
"ohhh what do we do"- HOW ABOUT YOU NOT EXECUTE ANYPONY, LIKE MODERN CIVILIZATIONS NOT NAMED TEXAS
And how come Twilight just has a memory-reading machine laying around the crib, but they can't use one of those to sort this out?
1998030
When you already know there's a threequel and you see Tiara still bitching it up 20 years later, the writing is clearly on the wall. But that's okay, because you did a good job of giving it the "slow motion plane crash" feel. We know its coming, we know its viciously unfair, BUT WE CAN'T TURN AWAY~
Sweetie Belle, 2.
Diamond Tiara, -1.
Flawless victory, Sweetie Belle.
2157060
By and by, by and by.
The cycle will remain unbroken.
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Please stop making me cry, Bronywriter.
This is the greatest moment ever!
"T-T-They called me names and said I was a freak. They said I'd turn out to be a bad pony like Aunt Rarity, that I'd have those sad feelings too and I'd do the bad things that she did because their mommies told them so. They said that my Mommy did those bad things and that I was a b-b-bastard foal of an evil mommy and an inbred daddy." said this to blossom... ok in my mind they deserved death but...
If Diamond Tiara was shocked by Silver Spoon's words, then she was even more shocked when Silver Spoon's hoof collided with the side of her head, knocking her to the ground. Diamond Tiara fell with a yelp of pain and Silver Spoon was quick to get on top of her and begin wailing on her. "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO BE SO MEAN?!" she screamed. "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE SO MEAN TO SWEETIE BELLE AND HER INNOCENT FOAL?! WHY COULDN'T YOU LEAVE HER ALONE?!" silverspoon didnt blame either blossom or sweetie... instead she layed one hell of an ass whooping on dimond tiara..... HALLALUEAH!!!!!! FINALLY SHE GAVE DT WHAT SHE DESERVED!!!!!
but what if blossom dies.... now im sad....
Twilight has some serious balls to be glaring at the princess. elestia should have kicked her ass out the second she made eye contact.
I have found no issues with this or the last story until now; I REAAAAALLY don't buy that Celestia and Luna would jump to the idea that the mother re-hit the kids corpses' in order to spare her daughter. How common is it for 8 year olds to brutally murder that everypony is like "C'mon, the strong adult mom? It's PROBABLY the kid, even though the mom confessed to the murder repeatedly and the kid couldn't have hit them that hard." That seems way out of the park and unrealistic, like, laughably unrealistic.
This chapter is so far the MOST tragic, yet the most amazing.... You did it. You made DT fall. Whether or not she deserves it... you made her weak. And what's more epic is that Silver Spoon stood up to her, and left her vulnerable. Amazing. Looks like riches lose to love :D
The DT scene will forever be engraved in my head. Kudos.
So either Blossom or Sweetie will face punishment by death while the other has to live life without them.
I feel like a part of me just died.
This is how u use your secret twilight mind display technology. .. even. Tho they have books that study the mind and a princess dream walker. Noponys ever made anything to see into minds. Yeeppp
2838928
Yeah but Blossom's own words when they questioned her had the implication that she was may have done it: 'I thought I hurt them but Mommy said I didn't'
im sad, not by the content of the story but as to where it is now, i just seems so.... out of place, like the authour lost that sad spark that was present in the other chapters and just kinda said "screw it", i mean no offence with this it is just my opinion with how this story seems to be ending ( the ending of SLoR was predictable but the emotions to it wasnt, if that makes sense)
no, I hate diamond tiara, she is a terrible terrible pony and her daughter was just as bad, same with silver spoon. I DON'T WANT TO FEEL BAD FOR THEM.
I wanted to be mad at silver spoon, but now I feel all sad.
3552709
Keep in mind she was whimpering and stuttering out broken English. At that point what she said was getting mixed up and she could have meant anything.
2838928
I kinda thought Twilight said it, and, considering she is very analytical, I thought it was reasonable. Also consider that she is looking for the way out, as soon as the blame had settled Twilight would have to find a way for it to not be true.
3320362
While you are clearly really tired and/or drunk (I assume due to that ridiculous letter landslide that I had to try fairly hard to comprehend) I agree with your point, which is (correct me if I'm wrong) that Twilight should still have the mind reader machine she used on rarity in the first story.
2896506
Well all of me just died...
I wish it was a dream
Is... Is it wrong to hat I didn't cry at all this chapter! let alone this far in the story? I... I dunno... Eh. Whatever. Good chapter.