• Member Since 12th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen Nov 17th, 2022


Me am chibi dwagon. Me am here to clean up after messy ponies. Also: To defeated the badponies.(Luckily my writing skill exceeds my character's speaking skills)


Worried that she may not always be there to bail them out, Twilight hires the renowned Iron Will to stage an intervention and teach Celestia and Luna how not to get their plots kicked all the time. But can even the greatest motivator of all time accomplish such an impossible task?

Warning! Contains IRON WILL, booty shaming, implied pre-marital hoof holding, napping on the job, and not reading the contract.

Featured on 12/8/2021! Thanks!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 26 )

I think it needs a squeal where twilight tells them off and reminds them they are immortal alicorns who are not facing the problems that come with old age that they are just lazy. They wouldn't know a threat if it was under their nose and would be helpless without someone to save them.

I'd be more worried about her stopping the evil Muffin Empire:derpytongue2:
Or maybe refusing to stop it.

Great comedy! I rarely read E stories that I enjoy but I liked this one. I have to return to the Muffin Factory now. The princess demands it

I'm sorry for making you read something so unpalatable as a clean story:fluttercry:

Ri2 #5 · Dec 8th, 2021 · · ·

How has Equestria lasted this long?!

“All your muffins are mine!” Muffins squeaked, waving around a large stick of chocolate with a muffin stapled to the end. "All of Equestria will be enslaved in my muffin factories!"

Her name is Ditzy.

And she's the 4th volunteer.

Oh no I actually found it very amusing. Clever references, proper education on boop consent(so sorely needed in these modern times), incredible bull powers, villainous Trixie gaze. Lazer massages, disapproving stares, and accidental bootie assaults, this story was exactly how to do a playful one shot and entertain my cutie booty. Besides, Discord's description of a certain pink was obscene enough to almost make me glad my colorblindness prevents me from seeing pink

That's simple. Mutually assured destruction. Celestia is the only one in the world that can raise the sun (I know that it's Canon that ancient unicorns used to raise the sun before Celestia, but if any modern pony had the ability to raise the sun, they would have during "Princess Twilight Sparkle Part One"). If anyone wanted to invade Equestria they would need to probably kill Celestia to do, but then the world would die, because no one else can raise the sun. Thus Celestia has been rendered untouchable.

Celestia always had a student.:trollestia:

Perhaps they need another visit from Piccolo.:pinkiecrazy:

I agree that Ditzy is the better name for her and was used for a few official things in the past, but I used Muffins since the credits of "Slice of Life" name her Muffins and that is the name used in the most recent official merchandise.

Oddly Twilight might be the only one that couldn't defeat Celestia and Luna because she would keep helping them every time they collapsed and/or napped.

The brighter pinks are rather gaudy in clothing :raritycry:

I believe the canon is that she is special not because she can raise and lower the Sun, but because she can do it without taking permanent damage to her magic and eventually being drained. I have my own theory about exactly how the MLP Sun works which I'll actually be using in a rather long Fallout-ish fic that will be released on this account, but I want to finish it before starting to publish. I'm on chapter 60 of 72.

For someone who is supposedly immune to the bad guys it doesn't stop them from going after her.

Discord can move the sun on his own. Tirek and the Storm King can steal Celestia's power to raise the sun. Sombra would presumably brainwash Celestia into raising the sun on his behalf.

To be fair, they don't generally try to kill her, just capture her in their dungeon :rainbowderp:

Nobody in the show directly causes murder so that doesn't really count. The fact that the Celestia doesn't get murder when Nobody does isn't a good argument.

Sombra. Twice.:rainbowdetermined2:
Also the Storm King if you count the movie. That one was actually rather brutal :rainbowderp:
Oh and depending on your opinion of windigo sapience, they did get burned to death.

Storm king just turned them to stone so he could have an easier time stealing the power. Sombra maybe we didn't see much of his history so beyond took over the Crystal Empire we don't exactly how things went.

This story is awesome! I couldn't stop laughing at it! Although when you think about it it does kind of go along with show cannon. I mean every time something pops up, call on Twilight and her friends or go get the elements of harmony or maybe call Princess Cadance. I mean even Princess Celestia used the elements of harmony to defeat Nightmare Moon! So yeah.

I believe the most canon explanation for why Celestia can't use the Elements of Harmony now is because she attacked another Element bearer with them, regardless of her good intentions at the time, so they'll no longer attune to her. However there are villians they defeated without the Elements, like Sombra and Pony Hitler who is totally a thing.
But glad you liked it too! I guess I was just feeling silly and realized that this is something Iron Will would definitely attempt (and fail at) if paid to do it.

“Look, Trix,” Iron Will said, calmly clamping her muzzle shut with two fingers. “You got a story to tell at your shows. You can honestly say that you defeated both of the royal sisters, and even Twilight will be too ashamed to contradict you. Is that not payment enough?”


He found that Muffins had trotted over to Celestia’s charred throne and had a seat there, puffing out her floofy chest and looking proud of herself.

All hail our new orverlord.:derpytongue2:

I they're all ready to slave in the muffin factories :derpytongue2:

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