“Aww fuck.” I said as I watched the corrupted Rainbow Dash’s sadistic glare.
“DIE HOLLOWED KNIGHT!” She said threateningly with the Excalibur in her hooves.
“Fuck.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Radiant Garden moved through the purified grounds of the land that’s been invaded by the Equestrian’s. The battle still raged through the ranks but Celestia and Radiant Garden’s influence made swift work of the opponents in their area. However over on the right the battle was taking the turn for the worst. Only pegasi remained and the ground forces were all but slaughtered.
On the far left the battle was a tie and soon they will wipe out each other with no clear victor.
Twilight was still cowering and Shining Armor was coaxing her out from under the chariot. Barricade was having it good with all the dragons gone and only hydra’s left to destroy.
Shadow Master himself was nowhere in sight. Celldric was still kicking ass deep in the corruption and cutting off reinforcements to the front giving the Equestrian’s time to purify the lands.
However the death toll was a staggering 40% of the forces. That means when they get back home Equestria would be the least protected country in the world. If Equestria had enemies Celestia would worry.
And Celestia is nervous now…She doesn’t have enemies but that doesn’t mean countries aren’t envious of her lands. She mourns the loss of her ponies but is conflicted with ending the battle and licking her wounds and continuing to destroy the threat forever.
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Shadow Master watches the battle from afar. But mainly the duel between Rainbow Dash and Puppet Master.
He would rather sit back and relax while others fight. The only thing that gets him moving is gold, and platinum if they want him to go faster.
“You can fight all day. But it will get you now where.”
He turns to walk away from the battle at hand.
“Stop right there.” Said a determined voice.
Shadow Master slowly turns around and gave his unwanted guest a cold and annoyed look. Before him was a hollowed guard with a clockwork assault rifle in his hand. His helmet was off exposing his midnight black eyes.
“Ah protagonist adventurer number two. Nice to meet you yet again. Have any gold to give me this time? Or are you planning on using your silly little device?” Shadow Master smirked menacingly.
“You’ve brought terror to this realm without remorse…I don’t think I can forgive you.”
“It’s a job Hunger…don’t condemn me for doing the things I live for.”
“You live to kill me and my friend Celldric!”
“Because I’m paid to. But for a little scratch I’ll give you the location of our mutual dark friend.”
His eyes widened. “Fine here’s five gold.” He threw the gold coins at him without lowering his weapon.
“Good…He’s not anywhere close to here. In fact he’s back in Terraria.”
“Terraria? How do we get there?”
“Ah ah ah!” he said shaking his finger. “I told you where he is. Now you must pay me to tell you how to get there.”
He grinded his teeth in annoyance. “Look if you tell me where he is I won’t shoot your head off.”
“That would do neither of us any good.” He grinned mischievously. Shadow Master had him in the palm of his hand and he knew it. Hunger will have a hard time getting the bits since they were all with Celldric.
“Dammit. Celldric has all the coins.” He said to himself.
“OH? Coins on Celldric? Fine I’ll follow you until we meet up with Celldric. If his coin is better than our dark friend then I’ll fight for you.”
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Rainbow Dash was too fast for Puppet Master. Puppet Master had to dodge and counter every time she got close. But each time she got close she went behind him and always got him.
At this rate Puppet Master would be destroyed in no time. Then Rainbow Dash made the mistake that would decide the fate of Equestria for years to come.
“TIME TO DIE!” She dashed at my chest Excalibur pointing right at it. I quickly drank a health potion and waited for it to impact.
*SHING!*
I fell through the cloud layer with Rainbow Dash on top of me. My body was limp and so were my muscles as I slammed into the corrupted ground below.
“Pathetic.” She grinned evilly.
Then my hand rose up and grasped her neck.
“You should check your opponents states before you kill them.” I said with an Excalibur in my chest. “I don’t die when a fatal blow is delivered. I die when my health is gone.” I took a bag of purification powder and shoved it into her fearful face.
“WHAT NO NO NOOOOOOOOOoooooooo…” She collapsed on the purified grass and I looked into her purified and closed eyes.
“Sweet dreams my little Dashie.” I looked up to find myself surrounded by many corrupt creatures. “Sleep well, now and forever.” I said looking grimly at the swarm that was charging us. I had no weapons in my hand and my health was low. About 10 hp currently.
“Ugh what-GAH!” She saw the swarm charging us.
I thought fast. “Rainbow look into this.” I held up a magic mirror to her face and she took it in her hooves and looked at it with a grim expression expecting it to be a distraction for when the end came.
*ZZZZZZZZING*
Dash was gone from my arms. Safe at home.
“I face death valiantly.” I said knowing I would respawn anyway.
*Splat*
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Celldric was valiantly destroying everything in his way. He murdered thousands like he was the lord of death himself.
“CELLDRIC!” Said a familiar voice.
“What?” He looked around and saw Shadow Master running alongside Hunger and both were being targeted by the corrupt foes. He quickly assumed that Shadow Master was paid to be with them now. “AH IS SHADOW MASTER WITH US NOW?”
“NO HE NEEDS PLATINUM TO OFFICIALLY JOIN US!”
“GOOD NEWS SHADOW!” He sliced a Soul Eater in half. “I HAPPEN TO HAVE TEN PLATINUM!”
“Give it here!” He shot up in the air towards Celldric.
Celldric saw this and hurled ten platinum towards Shadow Master. The moment his hands grasped the platinum he went into battle mode and flew about destroying creatures faster than both them combined.
“…damn.” Said Hunger.
“Yea…he’s out classing me.” Responded Celldic.
Shadow Master did loops in the air and fluently struck down anything in his path. Destroying corrupted creatures and regular corrupted monstrosities with ease, and without effort. He finally rested by floating in front of the two protagonist adventurers smiling smugly at them.
“Adventuring only gets you so far in the world my new employers.”
“Well…ok where’s Dark Wolf?”
“Right this way.” He flew off towards the everfree forest which was several miles away.
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Radiant Garden was in the middle of purifying a guard who foolishly backed up into the corrupt grass. Four other guards were holding him down as Garden poured the powder all over his midsection and head and slowly trailed at his hooves.
Once finished he looked up and saw three Terrarians flying away from the battle in a V formation.
“Is that?” He said to himself when he saw the two terrarians in back. He remembered them. “It is!”
He took out his Ivy whip.
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Hunger and Celldric both simultaneously felt a tugging at their legs.
“WHOA WHAT THE HELL?” Shouted Hunger. Celldric calmly took out his Excalibur and looked at the target but stopped when he saw the uncorrupted image of another terrarian wearing jungle armor.
“Jungle god is that you?” Said Celldric.
“Keep it down back there!” Yelled Shadow Master.
“Hello friends!” Said Radiant Garden.
“Hello Radiant! Ready to save the world?”
“This one right?”
“Both at once actually!” replied Hunger.
“Sounds Good to me!”
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I found myself back home…all was quiet and the NPC’s were nowhere in sight. It made me wonder what happened to them. I checked every room and not a creature stirred. The tables and chairs were missing as well. All I could possibly think of was-where the hell?-but quickly redirected my focus at the current task at hand.
Finding Dark Wolf and getting him to stop this madness.
I reached for my other Excalibur to be able to duel wield before I noticed something wrong.
“Where’s my sword?” I said to myself. I had only one Excalibur. “If I don’t have it then that means…” My eyes widened in realization. “Rainbow.”
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Rainbow Dash lies in her bed without energy. “W-whatever he did…ugh I’m tired.” She yawned heavily. “WAIT NO MY FRIENDS!”
She tries to get out of bed but the second her hoof touches the cloud floor it falls through. She had the rest of her body on the bed and she sat there wide eyed for a moment…and afraid.
“H-how?”
She got up from her bed and tried to flap her wings. To only some success. She hovered for a while then fell to the bed.
“W-what happened?” She looked around and saw on her bed was Puppet Master’s sword he gave her and the mirror thing he got her to look into.
“Stupid mirror.” She glared at it. She then remembered what happened before she looked into the mirror. “No…PUPPET MASTER!” She shouted to the heavens.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The group of four flew-and hung-their way towards the Everfree forest. Radiant Garden continued to dangle helplessly by the legs of Hunger and Celldric while Shadow Master paid him no mind and led the way.
“Are we heading towards the portal?” Shouted Radiant Garden.
Shadow Master looked back and raised an eyebrow.
“You know where the portal is?”
“Yes master and I use it all the time got go from home to Equestria.”
“Hmm.” Shadow Master turned his head to the distance toward Everfree and squinted when he caught sight of a village. “Ponyville is nearby. We are almost there.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Puppet Master flew toward the left of the map and a black tower came into view.
“I’m coming for you Dark Wolf.”
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Rainbow Dash tried to step back on the cloud and realized whatever kept her from touching the clouds and flying seemed to have worn off. She picked up the Excalibur and the magic mirror and flew outside.
Four figures came into view off the horizon.
“What the hay?” She flew off after them.
She got closer and she saw three Terrarian’s, she didn’t know any of them.
“Hey! You guys friends of Puppet Master?”
“Yes!” Shouted the one dangling from the two in back.
“Wait he’s in trouble!”
“Yes we’re on our way to end stop this madness!”
“Well I don’t know where you’re going but I’m going to go help my friends!” She flew off towards the battlefield that was several hundred miles away.
“Should we tell her?” Shouted Hunger.
“Tell her what? That she won’t be able to save them?” Shouted Shadow Master. “Only the death of the king of corruption will save them!”
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Puppet Master avoided every monster that was in his way to the tower of darkness that Dark Wolf constructed. The sheer amount of corrupted individuals in Terraria was staggering. At one point the sun was blocked out by the sheer amount of Soul Eaters.
Every time they got in my way I blocked or swung at them. I even took out my rainbow rod and destroyed as many as I could.
I approached the tower and found an entrance at the bottom. I swooped down and entered before I fought off whatever was behind me. I continued down the dark tunnel and found a door. I quickly opened and closed it and awaited to hear the many thuds that would come from the creatures impacting the door.
*BANG BANG THUD BUMP*
“Damn.” I said out loud.
I continued into the labyrinth and found myself facing a skeleton statue.
“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me.” I face palmed. I realized this is one of THOSE kind of dungeons when you step on the wrong stone monsters come out to kill you.
Not that it was a problem for me but it was annoying.
I decided to sprint through all the traps and spring them all. It worked for a while until I hit a certain pressure plate where the floor fell below me. I spread my wings and flapped out of the lava I so foolishly fell into. I then used my duel hook to get me the rest of the way and not risk falling into the lava again.
I made my way through ten floors and finally I just about gave up. I took out my drill and started to drill up. Then lava fell on my head and I lost most of my health.
“GOD DAMMIT!” I shouted. I was totally expecting lava to fall on my head but I ignored reasoning anyway…it’s what I did when I played as Dark Wolf.
I made my way through ten more rooms activating and destroying traps that I found and unfortunately stumbled into.
Finally my destination.
“The throne room.” I said out loud as I opened the door and walked into the dark room with a single silver chandler with six pillars holding up the high ceiling. On the other side of the room was a golden throne with none other than a shadowy figure of Dark Wolf sitting nonchalantly with his fist up on the side of his head.
“Ah Puppet Master. I was wondering when you’d show up.” His figure was obscured by shadow.
I raised my eyebrow in confusion. “Wolf? May I see your face.” I said calmly.
He got up from his throne and walked forward into the light. I could see behind that headgear that his skin was purple and his eyes were a mix between red and purple.
“As I thought.” I said solemnly. “You’ve been corrupted.”
“And here you are trying to kill your own creations. I did this FOR YOU! But you used us in a little storybook for entertainment! YOU DESERVE NO MERCY!” He looked livid. He took his red phase blades by some unseen force and activated them one at a time.
It looked like one bad ass intro to a boss battle to be honest. I was looking forward to the fight.
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Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but feel she was doing something wrong…like helping her friends wasn’t going to save them. She had an impulse to follow the four travelers to the Everfree.
She grinded her teeth in annoyance.
“FINE!” She shouted out loud and sped off towards ponyville once again.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The group of four looked over the edge of the cloud home and out in the distance. What met their eyes chilled them to the bone.
A massive cloud of corrupt opponents stood between them and peace. But they valiantly stepped forward and ran into the fray. Once they got half way to the tower they were immediately held back by a wall of basically every opponent they’ve ever faced in the corruption. Giant worms and Soul Eaters surrounded them quickly and they soon were separated.
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Rainbow Dash flew into the Everfree forest and dashed between all the trees until she saw a small break in the tree canopy. The sun beams illuminated a white square portal with each color of the elements of harmony on both sides of the portal.
“Whoa.” She stood there admiring the portal for a few seconds. She shook her head and put on a resolute face and slowly walked through the portal.
“Whoa.” She said for the second time in the last ten seconds.
She looked over the side of a brick and snow fortress that seemed to be floating without anything holding it up.
She swooped below it to see if there are any support beams but she became wide eyed when there weren’t. But she became extremely worried when the whole world was corrupted.
“C-could this be what Equestria would look like if we fail?” She said demoralizingly.
She flew off toward a giant black cloud that caught her eye.
Upon reaching said cloud she realized it was a swarm of those evil creatures that she helped wipe out. Taking sword in mouth she decided to charge in and kill as much as she could.
That is until she saw a dark tower behind the cloud.
“What the hay?” She tilted her head in confusion and decided to avoid the monsters who seemed to be preoccupied by something else.
She flew above and over them darting between clouds before making her way above the tower. She looked in all directions before she dove for the entrance and did a ninety degree turn into the labyrinth.
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Puppet Master stayed out of Dark Wolf’s range by flying around him. Of course the corrupt dark lord thought hard about the battle. He was outgunned when it came to armor and protection but his offensive capabilities with those six phaseblades made him an opponent that needed special treatment.
Puppet Master darted behind a pillar and two red phaseblades wedged themselves in the surface of said pillar.
“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Dark Wolf exclaimed in anger.
“Two down four to go.” I said confidently.
I believed I can sacrifice some health to do damage now. Thanks to his six phaseblades the risk was too high but now with four it is a reasonable sacrifice that I could use when I need.
“I WILL DESTROY YOU!” He bellowed.
“Shit.” I dodged his flailing red beam swords and I flew around behind his throne.
“GET BACK HERE PUPPET MASTER! I WANT TO SEE THE BLOOD DRAIN FROM YOUR BODY WHEN I KILL YOU!”
I charged at him and before impact I used the rainbow rod to disorient him, then I used Excalibur and sliced him across his chest.
“GAH!”
“Take that YOU LITTLE BITCH! OBEY MY COMMANDS LIKE YOU DID ONCE BEFORE!”
“NEVER!”
I launched myself at a pillar and cut it into a chunk, then flew around it and kicked it into Dark Wolf. It was split in half by two blades of his and I was close enough to deliver another blow. He swung his two other phase blades that were ready for such an attack and blocked my single Excalibur.
I backed up to the throne. We eyed each other for a moment.
“PUPPET MASTER!” Shouted a familiar voice beyond the throne room door.
*CRASH!*
The wooden door exploded and a rainbow maned Pegasus made herself known.
“RAINBOW!” I shouted.
“I ain’t leaving a friend behind!” She charged at the corrupt Dark lord and I stopped her half way and grabbed onto her. I also grabbed the mirror she had in her left hoof and I took out tnt and threw it at the wall.
*BOOM!* A gaping hole now showed the outside of the throne room. I thrust the mirror into her face to force her to look at it and she disappeared in many magical sparks with my sword.
“NO!” She shouted as she disappeared.
I took out my Rainbow Rod and flung a bolt out the new hole in the foundation of the building.
It traveled across the sky and over the cloud of enemies and hero’s valiantly fighting them off all the way over to the ‘cloud home’ that I’ve created.
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM*
There was a massive explosion that resonated throughout Terraria as the Rainbow Rod’s missile struck the portal.
“W-what have you done.” Said Dark Wolf looking out the hole. A massive shockwave was heading right for us.
“Nothing too damaging I hope.” I said right next to him. He turned to me in shock and I threw purification powder in his face. The corruption melted off and he fell to the ground on his knees.
“M-master…My lord…I’m sorry.” He said fearfully for my punishment.
I looked out the hole and watched the wall of energy come towards us.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rainbow made her way outside her cloud home seemingly unaffected by the mirror this time. She saw a shockwave wall crashing towards her flattening buildings and trees.
Her eyes widened in fear and she almost dropped Excalibur that was still in her mouth. The wall got closer and she instinctively swung at the shockwave creating a small crack in it that she fell through.
Then darkness took her.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Terraria the battle stopped and all manner of creatures watched the doom head straight for them. Some showed fear, others showed strength.
But the four companions embraced their fate honorably and put on a content and strong face in the face of death.
Then the wall of energy took them.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Puppet Master looked at the wall of energy come closer and closer.
He lifted his sword in readiness while the newly purified Dark Wolf looked at it in amazement.
Once it reached them Puppet Master swung his sword at the wall in defiance.
“I WILL NOT DIE!”
Sexy ending...
1457430
Thank you...half way through the story I started to lose interest and slow down a bit so I had to plan something to keep me typing.
Epic story ending...and beginning got me going again.
NOW IT'S A WHOLE NEW ADVENTURE!
1457551
IT'S A WHOLE NEW WORLD WE LIVE IN.. POK- woops kinda got carried away...
1457560
oh...I see...
you've impressed me
Not really
1457565
Now I'm just confused. First, how did I impress you. Second, how did I not really impress you?
1457572
I don't know...it's a mystery that will remain in my comments section till the end of time
1457590
End of time, huh... Ok, here what we do, you go pack for a long ass trip, and I'll go get The Doctor.
1457604
DOCTOR WHO? HOLY SHIT I'LL GO WITH YOU
1457614
No silly, I was talking about the other Doctor...
1457627
OH...
*Grabs the shovel*
Lead the way good sir
1457650
i.imgur.com/mW64f.gif
Fuck... you win this round, as I have no bloody clue which doctor you're referring to.
Until next time...
1457675
oh no it's just that I don't like doctors...always sticking me with needles and stuff.
I'm so sorry for this comment. But my roll to save vs bad puns was a failure (got a 5). At least it wasn't a critical failure. I don't even want to think about how that one would've gone.
Well, this story arc ended with a bang. Eheh, heh, heh. Yeah i know, i had to do it.
In good news though, i did like the chapter! A beginning to another arc. This should be good. (/Disgonbegood.gif)
1458519
...
arc?
crit?
WHAT ARE THESE TERMS I DON'T KNOW?!
1458536
With arc, you're missing a word. I meant story arc. As in a large over'arc'ing story plot, has started, and now finished (or is very near it). Think of it as an actual arc, which (at least in my mind) is a large ship, not unlike a personnel transport ship, or ferry. The 'arc' that was helping advance the characters to their destination has (very nearly) come into port, the conclusion/ending. Either this is the final ending, or a new 'arc' is starting, possibly after a bit of downtime.
Crit = critical. Changed in my previous comment. I write shorthand sometimes, and forget to or just plain miss lengthening it.
1458590
Thank you for clarifying
1458643
No problem. I hate it when i'm left hanging on little things like that. So... I try not to do it myself.
1458670
This 'arc' you're talking about is actually the beginning of a WAY bigger event actually. I intend to blow your mind with plot twists and reinstallments of earlier ideas that will grab everyones attention until this story is officially finished.
A.K.A. I'm not done being brilliant
1458730
You're probably referring to the plot as a whole (no, not that plot, get your mind out of the gutter, for once). Which is the general 'arc' of the story. True 'arcs' are smaller chunks of the story that have stuff, usually a single major event, surrounded by little ones, happens in it. Thus this arc ends and a new arc begins. The 'big bad' (the corruption/Dark Wolf) has been 'beaten' (this case, purified) by a 'big bang'.
Thus a new 'big bad' is needed. Standard procedure has foreshadowing introduce a major 'minor bad' or minion directly serving the new big bad early on into the arc. Said minor bad tries to interrupt the new peace caused by the removal of the old big bad. Usually just below old big bad's power level/skill.
1458793
Ah ok.
But just wondering how good am I regarding the story as a whole?
Do you like the many different characters I'm adding? (Removing some for a later date)
Do you find the first few chapters a turn off compaired to the later ones?
Exct?
1458858
'Exct?' I have no clue what you mean by that, unless you mean Et-cetera (etc.).
At times, it seems to jump around a bit quickly. You just get settled into a scene and quickly jump off a cliff to another one. This doesn't happen often, and really only during action scenes, so it's not *that* bad a thing, all things considered. There was one scene pretty early on that just seems to be missing either an intro or something to it. I'll have to find it during my re-read.
I can't really get a feel for some of them. Puppet master in particular. Some of his actions seem really out of character for him, at least to me. Flirting with Barricade, while completely hilarious, doesn't seem like something he'd do, to me, especially because of the way he's acted in the last few chapters.
Barricade's well enough done, that my headcanon has her as Fluttershy's mother.
Radiant's been spot on though.
Dark wolf, i've hardly gotten to know.
Dash seems good, i think with one exception. She doesn't seem the type to think things through, and would've helped Equestria instead of going to help Pup (yes, i'm using that name for him from now on). The rest of the mane six, seems to be in character.
As for Celestia and Luna? I'd say Celly's out of character, especially when she 'blasted' Pup. He did deserve it though. Luna, i'm not quite sure. We've not seen much of her, and there's not much that was given in the show, so there's much left for interpretation.
I would have to go back to re-read them. It's probably been upwards of half a million words since i read them (no, i'm not kidding). That'll be a project for this weekend. I'm not sure if i can get a full review done this weekend, but i can try for at least within the next two weeks! Then again, i'm probably not the right person to be doing that. :P I'm not creative enough to be a writer, myself, but i can edit. I'm gonna post this here, with this idea half finished, lest i forget to post it at all, while helping another author with his story and get neither done.
1458983
Thanks for the feedback. I needed to find a way to get the idea Celestia is useless to Puppet Master during times of crisis so I need the realization that she's weaker than him.
Also Puppet Master is the kind of guy that is serious only when the situation is serious but not when it's like every day sort of thing you know?
I do admit I was nervous when I kept reviewing the chapters and re reading the things I've done with him. I didn't even see a clear indication of that so now that you've mentioned it I'll put things right by pointing it out with either another character OR him actually saying it.
1459007
Sounds good to me. It's the worst thing for me to see, for an author to do that, not realize it, and not bother to fix it.
1459041
Though sadly I can't properly fix things in earlier chapters. Only I can redirect characters in newer chapters to fit back into character and stuff.
I'm really anal about getting characters to feel like they're in character. Whenever I see them out of character in another story I get all butt hurt for no reason.
So I'm more worried about the characters in general
It's probably because I firmly believe any story can make it to the featured box if all the characters are in character rather than the quality of the story itself.
1459059
When i'm done helping 'arandompenguin' with his stories 'Oldnew Luna' and it's sequel, i'll be glad to give this a once over and see what i can do to help! That is... if you want me to.
1459082
all and any help is appreciated. Don't feel obligated to do anything though.
I'd love feedback even if its bad as long as I know what I've done wrong. or at least what another guy is bitching about. As long as it's someone complaining or giving good feedback I can always use it to improve what I've got.
Quick Q: Are you hooked with this story?
1459097
Since about chapter three, if i recall correctly.
1459119
OK then I'll review those chapters to see what I can do to make them more interesting.
Or at least disect them for uninteresting things that I can avoid in the future. :D
See that's the kind of answers i need
1459135
My comment was in reference to your 'when i was hooked' question.
1459141
And that was all I needed to improve what I got.
If you weren't hooked on the first two chapters then I wasn't making it interesting enough.
But what changed between the time of chapter two and three? That's what I just went out to find out.
It basically tells me what I did early on wasn't interesting but the stuff after that was. But WHY? and that's what I'm figuring out when I look at the difference between those chapters.
It allows me to see where my readers finally start actually looking forward to the next chapter or something.
basically I'm looking at this from the perspective of a game designer. What gets the player to keep playing? And what can I do to keep him playing?
1459198
It's been a while since i've read them, so i can't tell you.
I can answer this in both the game design sense, and with reference to the story. Keep the story engaging. I can also say this now. Since i got hooked, you've not had that problem at all. There've been stories i've stopped in the middle of a chapter of, to read this one. That was around the 'my little flutters' chapter. I read that particular chapter at least three times.
If the story isn't a main part (of a campaign, not multiplayer) of your game, then... it feels like nothing more than action. Even if there isn't much story, the first time a player plays it, at least in my book, i follow the story like nothing else. That's why i loved the Mass effect games (still working on figuring out that third one's ending), and i'm off topic; Digressing now.
I'd say keep your story engaging, and you'll do just fine. If there's too much story (it can happen!), then readers and players get lost, and quit following
*another partly finished comment, posting before i forget again.*
1459198 If I might ask, but what are all the characters weapons? Inventories to be specific so I can know what they're using.
1460916
Radiant Garden: two green phaseblades and jungle armor. Abitlity to control plants.
Shadow Master: Two purple Phaseblades and shadow scale armor.
Dark Wolf: has power of the force basically and six red phaseblades with necro armor.
Puppet Master: Daw of Pow, Two Excalibur's (One handed to Rainbow), magic mirror (Also handed to rainbow), Hollowed Armor, Shotgun w/ Cursed bullets, Rainbow Rod.
Celldric: Hollowed Armor, One Excalibur (No other weapons mentioned or needed)
Hunger: Hollowed Armor, clockwork assault rifle, cursed bullets, Mega Shark (Not seen yet), and one Excalibur (Rarely used) He's basically a ranged guy.