• Member Since 15th May, 2017
  • offline last seen Tuesday

Crimson Prose

I've got Shining Armor tied up in my basement for molestation purposes.

Comments ( 101 )

Good stuff so far. Banana is a cutie, and makes me wish I had such helpful, supportive, and friendly neighbors as her and her coltfriend.

She's always there to help a friend :rainbowdetermined2:

Well.... This is an interesting way to start a chapter.... I like it.
I'll be tracking this

Now that’s an interesting neighbor

"This is fiction. Sex with Equestrian aliens in real life is not advised until they are approved by the CDC and FDA for human consumption."

Thanks for the warning I was about to do that!

This seems... Awkward?

When can I meet Anon? He seems nice.

Is this casual sex equestria meet earth?

As he pulled into the parking lot at the apartments, he was met by an increasingly common sight in his city. It was a small pony with a bright yellow coat with pink mane and tail, sitting in the grass drinking from a teaglass as she watched the sunset. She looked rather cute with her tail coiled around her and chest fluff swaying a bit in the breeze, but he had to remind himself that these were sentient creatures so he probably shouldn’t just go up and pat one like it was a poodle.

I believe it's sapient, not sentient. Many people get this wrong. Sapience indicates a higher level of intelligence and an ability to think. Sentience is simply being able to feel emotions and percieve things. I'm not an etymologist though, so don't quote me.

Somehow I read that as sapient and that's something I'm also quick to point out in the past with people. It is weird though that the term sapient is so related to homo sapiens as if to suggest the ability to have high levels of intelligence and cognition will forever be the exclusive property of humans. I wish the word cogniscient would have been popularized instead. But yeah I second that sapient is the correct word for this.

You think so? I can't imagine what would make her more interesting than usual :rainbowhuh:

Yeah I fucked one and got magic-rainbow-herpes. They cured it but it REALLY burned for a while.:rainbowderp:

I think they hit it off quite well.

He's in Equestria checking off species on his list of things to fuck.:moustache:

The worst part is that I definitely know that, but somehow still both typed it and missed it while editing. :fluttercry:
Anyway thanks and it's fixed now.

I guess 'homo sapiens' is a good way to remember the difference. I'm usually too distracted by the homo in the phrase to notice the sapiens.:moustache:

Dont worry. I can put Anon in his place. And maybe remove his member so he can not do the nasty.

If George is impressed now, he's probably unaware what being an earth pony means for her physical capabilities. That'll be a doozy if it ever comes up.

"unhinging jaws"
This is the point in the description where I decided to read the story.

Well I didn't mean to imply it was a bad thing :rainbowderp:

It's a little known but totally-canon fact that earth ponies have the best grip strength. And I don't just mean their legs :ajsmug:

Enthusiastic blow jobbers do not limit themselves with physical restraints. Thus is the path to true enlightenment :rainbowdetermined2:

Part of me feels sorry for this mare.
The other part of me thinks she needs a lesson in boundaries.

this mare sounds like a thot to me, and aggressively so if she's going to such length to get some of the d.

She could give lessons in circumventing boundaries, if that helps. :rainbowwild:

You can't spell thot without hot. :rainbowdetermined2:
Though 'such lengths'? Aggressively asking someone in the hall and then apologetically inviting them over for tea later isn't really a great length. :rainbowwild:
Or did you mean something else? That great length she can get from her coltfriend; he's a horse. :rainbowdetermined2:

I know from the description he eventually does the deed, but I don't think I'd have sex with anyone that was that pushy for it.

I bet a lot of people wouldn't but a lot would too I'm sure. I mean people pay for people to write erotic fiction and just reading it so I think people would take free sex if it's grinding into you

I edited the hell out of this comment.

I apparently need to actually read those chapter tags/warnings, because I was not expecting the sudden whiplash turn into piss drinking. Not a deal breaker (though certainly not my thing), but it's a hell of a thing to get blindsided by.

Banana seems like the kind of mare that the Earth diplomats had to make special pamphlets for about consent and not sexually assaulting strangers in public. Unfortunately, she's also the kind of mare that took said pamphlet and folded it into an origami dildo without reading.

I would certainly be conflicted. Even if I was initially willing and eager, that approach reeks of entitlement and lack of respect for one's partner, especially the whole "hey I'm totally doing this for you as a favor, so you should be thankful" aspect. “Just cause I’m coming on strong to you doesn’t mean I’ll do anyone.” No, but you automatically assume I'll jump at the chance to bang a random stranger. And even if it's true, that's pretty goddamn presumptuous and arrogant. Even if interested, that's not the kind of attitude I'd feel comfortable rewarding. Come back tomorrow and clear the lowest possible bar by literally just ASKING rather than assuming. I'm not a pedophile, so having the social skills of a cranky toddler is actually a huge turn off.

I don't think she sees what she is doing as any more disrespectful than say a neighbor making soup for another neighbor with a cold and insisting they eat it to feel better. I don't think the person giving soup feels entitled at all. They just want the other person to feel better. In my experience, giving and showing concern to others is a sign of maturity. It's also maturity when someone actually takes the medicine a doctor recommends. Banana wants to be George's sex doctor cause he just lost it from a breakup and she's got the drugs that can help.

Also I imagine the complete elimination of pregnancy and STD potential would make many people more likely to accept. I'd honestly have very little problem with amorous neighbors I barely knew if not for those two things.

That... would you mind horrible if I use that description involving the origami dildo in a story?:duck:

Social skills of a cranky toddler is not the way I'd describe grinding on someone, nor demanding to 'do someone a favor', unless I just haven't been around enough toddlers to realize they do that.:rainbowhuh:
Though you're talking a bit too real life here about fiction too; there are a lot of personalities that I can enjoy in fiction that I might avoid in real life. And I've definitely written and enjoyed reading/watching characters do a lot of things I'd never do.

Yeah, definitely more in attitude than literal action.

And of course fiction (particularly erotic fiction) gets a pass on a lot of stuff that would not translate well to real life. I was just tackling the hypothetical from the perspective of what I'd actually do. Stuff that sounds cool in theory can get real uncomfortable in practice. A lot of it also comes down to the grounded mundanity of the setting. I'm fucking exhausted and haven't even gotten the chance to enter my apartment and kick off my shoes and sit down yet. Give me 10 goddamn minutes and a chance to grab a drink or something.

It was such an odd phrase that when I first looked at that, I started thinking he was calling me a cranky toddler and accusing me of assuming he would bang strangers.

I feel like if you said that though she'd listen and let you relax and she'd do all the work, to help you relax. Usually, when I work a long shift and some mare starts grinding against me before I get in the house I'd just tell her to come inside. I mean I could relax and she'd just low pressure start blowing me, not even masturbating herself if it tires me more. Then if I have to pee, I don't even have to get up. I mean have you even had a long day, you just ate and you relaxed and suddenly you have to pee. You really don't want to get up again. Well, you'll probably have to now she's enjoying her pegasus boyfriend instead! Why turn down paychecks or bonuses? Sex is often something people do when they are tired. It often precedes sleep

Yes some things don't work in practice. Like sex in the shower, which is surprisingly annoying to attempt.:rainbowhuh:

Now I'm remembering that one Portlandia sketch with "No, not you. The customer."

Edit: Here it is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jml7NVYm8cs

I would have pulled out my own phone and pretended to take the order on it



Dogs and cats are sentient.

Humans are sentient and sapient.


sex in the shower

This site is overflowing with porn tropes that has zero existence in reality, but I guess it goes hoof in hand with being dedicated to talking pastel ponies. We're not here for our daily dose of reality, but for good stories, like this one. :pinkiehappy:

True; I can't imagine fantasizing about things that are possible in real life.:rainbowhuh:

>George, who had gotten a seat near the stage thanks to her free ticket

I didn't know George could shift genders.

The ticket is from Banana.

That was the intention yes, but I could see why it might seem like a mistake so I changed it anyway.

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