Briquette

by Pony Project 156

Chapter 3: Static

~Chapter Three~

The days seemed to pass by faster than one would care to keep track. The cheery days with the warmth of the sun high in the sky and the endless celebrations and parties that spanned across Ponyville felt like an annoyance rather than the joyous tidings they were intended to spread. The food was tasteless and bland, and any familiar meals only served as a painful reminder of the haunting memories of the past. Everything felt completely pointless.

It had been years since Charcoal's brother and father died in those mines, but even as Charcoal was now a teenager, the memories of that day haunted him as if they’d happened yesterday. His dreams only reminded him of running through the mines in a blind panic, the rocks collapsing everywhere he looked, and only ending as he looked to see the bodies of his father and brother being dragged out of the debris. Ever since that day, Charcoal’s life felt gloomy and dull. He held no motivation to do anything, from furthering his own education, even to the things that brought him joy in the past.

Charcoal laid almost motionless in his bed, staring up at the ceiling for hours on end. Everytime he turned his head, his eyes would stop to stare at the pictures on his nightstand, each one only seeming to worsen the endless sorrow and dread in his mind. In the past, he was at least able to distract himself from that horrible day by being with the ponies he knew well and considered friends, but as the years went on, he felt himself pulled further and further away from all of that.

Charcoal turned his head away from his nightstand and looked out the window, seeing the sun shining just over the horizon in the distance as the night drew closer. If he was capable of thinking past his gloominess, he might have seen it as beautiful.

His body suddenly flinched slightly as he heard the door open behind him. He knew it was his mother entering his room to check on him, but considering the time, he falsely hoped she would just see him as asleep and leave him be.

“I know you’re awake, Charcoal.” Despite what she’d said, her tone was still soft and kind, as it was easy for her to read her son’s thoughts. Charcoal let out a quiet sigh as he slowly turned his body and lifted his head to face his mother. “Are you feeling alright?” she asked as she stood just by the door. “Dinner’s been waiting almost an hour for you.”

“I’m not hungry,” Charcoal muttered just loud enough for his mother to hear. It was clear she wished he would speak up more clearly, though that was an issue for another time.

“Why don’t you come and have something to eat? I know you haven’t left this room all day.” Charcoal’s mother walked further into his room and sat down next to him. Charcoal remained completely silent. While he wanted to let out every thought that was sitting in his mind at that moment, he knew that whatever his mother had to say wouldn’t help him.

Charcoal’s mother sat silently for a little while as she looked at the pictures on Charcoal’s nightstand, waiting patiently for a response from her son, even though she knew she may not hear another until she spoke again.

“I know you’re still upset, but you can’t hide in your room all day and night.” She lightened her tone in the hope of telling Charcoal that she wanted to help him. “It’s been years since the accident. We both need to move on and enjoy life… for both of them.”

Charcoal didn’t respond. There may have been something inside him that took what his mother said to heart, but he only found himself staring, unmoving, out into the hall just by his room. His mother was silent for a little bit longer, once again waiting for a response that she knew wouldn’t come.“You know, Hay Storm came to visit you. Why don’t you say hello and pull yourself out of that bed?” she suggested.

During the recent years, Hay Storm and Charcoal had finally come together by bizarre means that Charcoal may never understand. Somehow, the mare he had his eye on, even at a younger age, decided to join in a relationship with this depressed, hollow stallion. If things were different, he may have seen it as a dream come true, but now, the only reasoning he could come up with was that Hay felt sorry for him.

Charcoal laid unmoving as he thought silently. Eventually, he finally came to accept that he needed to leave his room, at least for a little. “Alright.” He finally spoke again as he managed to gain the strength to pull himself off of his bed and onto his feet. His mother smiled brightly as she held out one of her hooves to help Charcoal off of his bed.

Charcoal’s mother led him to the kitchen table, where he finally lifted his head to look away from the floor to see Hay sitting impatiently in one of the chairs.

“Well, look who’s finally up on his hooves!” Hay spoke happily, as if the impatience she once showed was gone in an instant. Charcoal managed to crack a small smile, though even the most oblivious pony could tell he was faking it.

Charcoal sat down on the opposite side of the table that Hay had, his eyes looking back towards the ground. His mother brought him a bowl of some soup that was still warm enough for steam to rise from the broth and vegetables, which had been sitting on the stove for so long that even the more resilient chunks had become mushy.

Charcoal held a hoof to his stomach, the hunger he had been ignoring for so long becoming more than he could just brush under his thoughts. Even though the mushy vegetables sitting in the darkish brown broth didn’t look the most appetizing, he knew some food would help to satisfy him. He carefully picked up the spoon and began to eat.

The soup tasted flavorful, but somehow bland at the same time. Ever since that day in the mines long ago, the food he once shared with his family was nothing like how it used to be, and only reminded him of the longing he held for the days before he entered that mine with his father and brother.

Charcoal slowly took a few sips of the soup. Somehow, that was all he needed to make his stomach stop growling, but he kept slowly eating until Hay finally broke the unending silence. “You’re not even going to say hello?” It was clear she was joking, though Charcoal lifted his head with some surprise as if what she’d said was sincere.

“Right, right, sorry.” Charcoal made an attempt to hide the thoughts in his head, though it was hard, as anything that he could think of only worsened his mood.

“You know, it’s been a few days since we last talked. How are things?” Hay tried to stop the silence from building again with some conversation.

Charcoal practically had to force himself into continuing to speak. “Alright, I suppose.” His words were muttered very slightly as he spoke, looking down at his bowl of soup before taking a few more sips. “So, how about yourself?”

“Can’t say much else is new.” Hay shrugged her shoulders slightly. “School’s finally starting to die down enough that I can focus on life. I’ve actually found a part-time job!”

Charcoal lifted his head very slightly. “Oh?” His response was an attempt to show interest, though his tone came across more along the like as disinterested, or simply wanting the conversation to end and for the pony speaking to him to leave. Hay didn’t seem to pick this up.

“It’s just some classic customer service in a shop nearby; helping keep things tidy, making sure things look nice, you know how it is.”

Charcoal only nodded his head slightly, eating a little bit more of the soup in front of him in order to gain the strength to speak again. “Sounds fun…” Despite his mellow tone, he was still able to force out a little bit of sarcasm.

“It doesn’t seem too bad. I’ve only just been accepted to the job a few days ago, and it’s been pretty easy so far, minus the occasional rush. I’m still waiting to see what happens.” A slight smile began to grow on her face. “Besides, the pay’s good, and I’ll still have plenty of time to enjoy the summer!”

“Oh?” Charcoal gave the same response from before, though a couple more sips of his soup gave him the strength to add to it. “Any big plans?”

“Several.” Her smile remained. “I’m thinking of exploring around Equestria, maybe taking a visit to the shore and the beaches, maybe some of the more barren places.” She paused for a second before letting out a slight chuckle under her breath. “Of course, that will have to wait until I earn a couple of weeks off of my new job.”

“Of course…” Charcoal paused his thought as he looked down at his soup, looking less and less appetizing each time he saw it. He took a couple more sips. “And when you don’t have that time…?”

“It’s Ponyville; there’s always something to do around here!” She paused her speech as she looked out one of the nearby windows, giving Charcoal a chance to take a few more sips of his soup that was now lukewarm. “I have yet to explore too far outside of town, and I still haven’t visited some of the more ‘fancy’ shops and restaurants around.”

Charcoal could practically sum up every word she said after that as Hay wanting to explore as much as she could, whether it be with her family, friends, or just on her own. It was obvious that she was hinting at some of her plans involving Charcoal within them, but he practically lost all interest and continued silently eating his soup. It gave him enough strength to pretend he was still listening, though not enough to speak again.

“So, do you have plans of your own, or are you just going to stay in that room of yours all day?” Hay was clearly speaking in a joking manner. It was no secret that Charcoal had been skipping out on days of school, and even avoiding Hay and his mother. The days when he couldn’t find solitude at home, he would usually find a place where few ponies walked or somewhere just outside of the town, hidden by bushes and trees. It gave him the chance to be truly alone, to move away from what tore at his mind day after day, and where he could feel something else besides emptiness. The only thing that kept him from hiding in those places for the rest of his days were his need for food and the feeling of a bed with blankets to sleep on.

“I don’t know…” was all he managed to say. He lifted his head away from his soup to see that familiar impatient look on Hay’s face. He let out a quiet sigh and took another sip of his soup, quickly thinking of an excuse. “I haven’t made many plans…figured I’d have a more clear path once the school year’s over.” Charcoal hoped that would end things, but it was clear Hay had other ideas.

“If you have no plans, then maybe we can enjoy the summer together while I’m off my new job!” She said excitedly, pausing for a second. “Speaking of which…”

“Yes?” Charcoal lifted his head slightly, taking another sip of his soup as he attempted to give Hay his full attention.

“I’ve heard there’s a big party planned in a week or so.” She still held a bright smile on her face. “Why don’t you come with me? We can eat, dance, you know how it is. Just you and me, how about it?”

The moment Charcoal heard that, something snapped in his head. He thought back to the last conversation he had with his brother years ago before they entered those mines, remembering vividly his teasing of he and Hay being friends when they were younger. Of course, that wasn’t the only time his brother ever did that, but besides that, it only made his head revisit the grief and pain he felt when he first saw those bodies leave the debris and collapsed mine.

His brother’s teasing tore at his mind with enough pain that he nearly dropped the spoon in his hoof to hold his head. He lifted his head to face Hay, watching her sitting and waiting for his answer. Charcoal didn’t know what to say or do as his head fell back to staring at the bowl of soup in front of him. Even as he sat unmoving, he felt like he was running ten miles uphill just to open his mouth to speak. He didn’t have a choice as he spoke the first thing that came to his mind.

“I would prefer not to waste my time.” He spoke quietly, though it was loud enough for Hay to hear clearly. As Charcoal finally took control of his body again, he lifted his head again to see Hay’s expression change in an instant. The joyful and friendly face she normally held was replaced with disbelief. It took a moment for Charcoal’s mind to fully process what he’d said. He knew he didn’t mean it the way he had said it, though there was a voice in the back of his head that kept him from apologizing and taking back his words.

“Excuse me?” Her eyes were widened with some frustration she must have been hiding ever since she entered Charcoal’s home. “‘Wasting your time’? Really?!” She nearly slammed her front hooves on the table and pushed herself off of the chair to stand. “Here I am, trying to help you, and you tell me I’m a waste of your time?!” She was in complete disbelief.

Charcoal only felt the ache in his head grow. He didn’t care if he meant his previous statement or not. The aggravation that had built up with him for years finally began to pour out.

“You think I like being dragged around everywhere? Pulled to events and work I couldn’t care less about?” Charcoal rose to his feet, raising his voice just as Hay did. That only seemed to make the situation worse.

“Why are you being this selfish?! I’m trying to bring you out of your room before you starve yourself to death! I care about you, and all you do is ignore me and treat me like I’m just some annoying- daaagh! You think this is easy for me?!”

“You think you’re the one having the hard time?! I lost my family, for Celestia’s sake!”

“That’s the point! I’m trying to help you before you hurt yourself or make things worse!”

“And all you’ve done is just pull me to the same parties, the same spots, the same old town!” Charcoal felt one of his hooves dig into the table. “You know what?! If you want to help me, just go! Go and stop dragging me around like your little puppet!”

“Charcoal Briquette!” Charcoal’s mother raised her voice. That alone was enough to stop the two of them bickering endlessly. “Hay Storm, I am very sorry for my son’s behavior.” Hay didn’t say a word as she only let out a scoff, turning around and walking straight out the front door. As soon as the door slammed closed, Charcoal’s mother turned her attention to her son.

“What was I supposed to do, say yes and let her drag me by the tail off to another pointless celebration?!” Charcoal nearly shouted in protest.

“What you did was uncalled for. She was helping you come out of your room and onto your hooves, and you insulted her directly to her face.” His mother gave him a glare.

Charcoal felt one of his hooves dig into the floor out of frustration as he watched his mother stand in front of him unmoving, waiting for a response that he knew wasn’t going to come.

“Now, if you know what’s good for you, you will go to her house first thing tomorrow and apologize to her.” His mother was direct, though it only added to Charcoal’s frustration.

“Why should I; why should I go and try to bring back the constant headache I’ve had every day for the past year?!”

“I don’t care!” She began to raise her voice again. “I know you are still in grief, but I will not have you taking it out on anyone else!”

“I just want to be left alone!” Charcoal nearly screamed that last sentence as he stormed off through the halls of his house right back to his room. He slammed the door shut and threw himself onto his bed. The frustration that built up in him quickly turned to tears as he started crying, pushing his face into the pillow on his bed.

Charcoal knew he made a mistake. He shouldn’t have argued with Hay and yelled at his mother, but what else could he possibly do? He spoke the truth in his words and couldn’t take it back, even if they had been twisted by his growing headache. However, he still regretted what he did. He lost his marefriend and only broke more of the few ties that held the relationship he had with his mother. No matter if he just accepted things or fought against it, he was at a loss either way.

Charcoal didn’t move until he felt his tears end, but now he was just left empty and emotionless. He lifted his head away from his pillow, looking around the same room he had seen for countless days and nights. Finally, his eyes laid sight on the photos on his nightstand, each one showing him with his family back when his brother and father were still alive. The only new picture that was added to it was one of him and Hay Storm. The picture was taken much more recently, and even then, it was clear the smile he held was fake, only to make Hay stop bugging him.

Charcoal laid silently, his body not seeming to move or breathe as he stared at the pictures. Each one brought back a memory that only worsened the emptiness he felt. After what seemed like hours of just staring at the pictures, Charcoal felt his breath return to him as a thought clicked into his head.

Everyday in Ponyville has filled him with nothing but loneliness and grief. Every picture and familiar sight only reminded him of the empty loneliness that tore him apart. The ponies he called friends and held close only stood as painful reminders of what his life possibly could be if that day never happened. Ponyville and the ponies who lived there tortured him with the endless sorrow and loneliness. He’d had enough. He wanted away from these constant sad reminders of his pain.

Charcoal had made up his mind. He was leaving Ponyville.

---

Later that night, with the stars and moonlight shining through the window as the only guides to see, Charcoal set off in preparation. He gathered anything he could need: food that would last, a canteen with plenty of water, some clothes to protect from the weather, any necessities that he could grab and were easily carried. Finally, he grabbed all the bits he’d made over the years. It wasn’t a lot of money, but as long as he was smart, he could make it last.

With everything in a pack he could easily carry and not a sign of his mother waking from the noise of him gathering supplies, he moved to the front door. As his hoof took the knob, however, he thought about the implications of opening it. His mother was in the next room, with the door wide open. The hinges for the door could squeak, and the spring that pulled it closed tended to drag against the lining. No, this exit would be too likely to wake her with all the noise.

Instead, he took to the window of his room. Charcoal held his breath as he carefully unhooked the latch and opened the window, moving it very slowly just in case there was a strong wind that would pick up and alert his mother to what he was doing. Thankfully, he was in the clear.

Charcoal climbed through the window and quietly closed it behind him, allowing himself to breathe again once he was outside. However, he wasn’t in the clear yet. He may be outside, but he wasn’t out of Ponyville.

Charcoal began carefully walking between the many buildings around, keeping himself low to the ground and out of sight as if he were escaping a prison. Any footsteps that weren’t his own caused him to freeze and pull himself into the grass below him, hoping the blanket of night would suffice to keep him safe.

There weren’t many ponies walking the streets this late at night, and the few who were likely wouldn’t recognize Charcoal, or would pay too little mind to care. With ease, he was finally out past the final group of buildings that stood between him and the outskirts of the town. He let out a deep breath, seeing the clear view ahead.

Charcoal walked straight ahead for a little while until he found the road that led out of Ponyville. With no other clear path, he followed the road. He didn’t care where he would end up, he just wanted away from the sad memories and grief he held. He wanted away from Ponyville, Hay Storm, his mother, and every picture of him with the family he once had. Charcoal wanted to forget all of it, and never revisit that forsaken town ever again.