The Unstoppable Moron

by aegishailstorm

Introduction

Meet William, a now 20 year old closet brony with a special affinity for firearms, and weapons in general. He once been "normal" so to speak, but 4 years ago, something incredible had happened which changed his life. He was brought to Equestria and given the ability to summon nearly any piece of military hardware he so desired out of thin air, shenanigans ensued. And eventually, he was able to make it back to earth, with a promise by the royal sisters that he would eventually be able to return. Today was this day.

William looked at the bright blue portal now illuminating his collage dorm room.

"Its about damn time!" He pulled open his dresser, put on his combat fatigues, manifested an m4 into existence. And jumped into the swirling blue vortex in front of him. Completely unaware of what lay ahead of him.

Meanwhile on the Equestrian border...

The Storm king and his armada slowly approached the border between Equestria and the open sea, and the Storm king was Experimenting with his new staff, so to speak. That is, if randomly blowing up trees could be considered "Experimenting."

"Boom!" The Storm king chuckled to himself in satisfaction.

"Uh, Sir? We're approaching the Equestrian border."

"Good!" He raised his staff to the sky.

"Nothing can stop u-" A bolt of lightning struck to staff, and it lit up purple.

"OWWWW!!! Wa, Oh no. What's the staff doing?" A bolt of purple energy shot out from it, and flew off into the distance.

"That...Probably won't hit anything important." He got back to randomly blowing up trees.

Well, in one sense he was right, It didn't hit anything important, however who he hit was quite significant. That particular stray bolt happened to be an experimental version of an interdimensional teleportation spell. And it just so happened to fly into a suburban neighborhood in the sierra bevada mountain range, and hit someone's cabin on the outside of town...

Meet Joseph, or more commonly referred to as, "Joey". He had been one of Williams few trusted friends through highschool, and was, unlike William, Normal. He had no major interest in weapons, and was by no means a brony, and had no knowledge that William was one. After highschool he had gotten a scholarship in forestry, and now lived comfortably in the suburbs of Burney, California. He hadn't seen William in almost 2 years now, It wasn't that they weren't friends anymore, it was just that, like with his other friends. William had always preferred to be alone. Joey sat down on his couch and and turned on the tv, he began to daydream. All of a sudden, he heard rumbling coming from outside.

"Huh, another earthquake?" He stood up. And all of a sudden the entire room was lit up in a flash of purple light.

"Uhhhh, Where's that coming from?" A jolt of pain went through his entire body, causing him to drop to the floor.

"AHAHAHHA!!!" All of a sudden, his entire vison went white. He could feel the pain crawling his way up his back, it felt like a thousand yellowjackets stinging him all at once.

"WHATS HAPPENING!?!?!" He could fell himself being pulled downwards.

"This has to be a dream!" A blinding flash of purple filled his vision, and he blacked out.

Meanwhile back in Equestria...

When William stepped out of the other side of the portal, he found himself surrounded by darkness. He took a big breath of air in.

"Oh boy, haven't done that in a while, my head feels like it about to fall off, but its good to be back!" He rubbed his eyes.

He flipped down his set of night vission goggles and looked around. He was surrounded by thick vegetation and fog. He looked up at the sky.

"Can't see the moon. That means one of 2 things, either I'm outside of Equestria, or I'm in the Everfree forest. Given the looks of things, I'd go with the later one." He raised his rifle to his shoulder, flipped on the laser. And scanned the treeline around him, he could hear distant roars tree branches being broken, dirt being shifted, bushes rustling.

"Well, they were right, this place sure does come to life at night." He took a step forward, and froze. He could hear growling in one of the bushes near him.

"Ohhhh ####, 3 minutes into my trip and somethings already trying to kill me!? paradise my rear-Wait, why did the growling stop?" He turned to find a massive form of.. something, illuminated by his google, charging at him.

"AHAHAHA" He barely had time to swing his rifle around to meet the... whatever it was.

Meanwhile.

Pain, That was all Joey felt. He felt as though he had been slow boiled over a low flame.

"What happened?" He he opened his eyes to see that he was falling, fast.

"AHHHHHAHAHAH!!!" He screamed, and braced for his inevitable death. instead, he hit something cold and hard.

"Owww, what happened?" He reopened his eyes, and looked around, to find himself in a tree.

"Well, I suppose its better than the ground." He realized that he couldn't feel his fingers, or his toes for that matter.

"Oh god, I hope I still have my fingers." He raised his arm up to check, but instep of an arm, he found a dark stub.

"What?" He went to rub his eyes, with his other hand, but just like before, found a dark stub.

"Where did my hands go!?" He realized something, his entire body felt strange. He looked more closely at his arms, and noticed that they were covered in white fur. And that those stubs weren't stubs at all, they were hooves.

"Ohhhh god, please let this be a dream!" He began to pant. He tried shifting to one side, and almost fell off the edges of the branch he was perched on. He hit his head on one of the smaller branches above him but instead of the wood striking his head, he felt it hit something hard and bony.

"Owwww, what was that!?" He raised one of his new appendages to his forehead, and felt around.

"Wait, is that a horn!? No, this cant be real!" He looked down at the rest of his body, but as he did he shifted over the edge, and began to fall again.

"AHHHHH!!" He hit the ground, Hard. He felt one of his already damaged rips from hit hitting the tree crack even farther.

"AHAAHA!!" He began to cry. Just then, he felt something grab his shoulder. He looked up to see 4 glowing red eyes staring him down.

"AHAHAH, MONSTER!!" He tried to crawl away.

"Can it pony!!! Before you get us both killed!" The voice was distorted and electronic.

"Wait, what did it just call me? Leave me alone!!!" It shoved him behind a rock and put one of its appendages over his mouth.

"SHHHH!" It crouched behind the same rock and looked off into the distance.

"Wa- what are you!?" He could hear growling in the distance and the breaking of tree branches.

"Ohhh, ####ing hell, It found me. Can you run?" It got up, and grabbed him by one of his forelegs.

"Wa- What's going on!?"Joey stumbled back away from the strange glowing eyes.

"To late!!!" The growling was practically on top of them at this point, the last thing Joey heard before blacking out was what sounded like... Gunshots?"