fuck.
Sunset Shimmer wasn't quite sure what was louder: the thick, heavy silence that followed after Wallflower's last whimpered apology faded out, or the instant regret hammering in her own ears.
She could have taken a deep breath. She could have been patient.
She could have just not said anything, let alone shout like that.
Everything Sunset saw as she looked over at Wallflower confirmed her worst fears. Drawn in on herself, Wallflower scrunched into one corner of the couch, taking up as little space as possible. Her eyes were glued to the floor, not even daring to glance Sunset's direction. Though she had fallen silent now, it was clear that she was doing everything she could not to provoke Sunset further. The latter knew that Wallflower would instantly return to fervent apologizing at the first sign of further aggression or conflict.
The reaction had been instinctive. Ingrained. Something developed over the years, honed by far too many situations just like this one.
As Sunset returned to burying her face in her hands, she longed to be able to look back up and see anything other than fear staring back.
When she saw it once more, Sunset finally dared to try and fix what she had so carelessly broken.
"I'm sorry, Wally." Sunset slowly shook her head. "I'm soā"
"Don't do that."
Mid-sentence, Sunset trailed off. Within seconds, she was scrambling to think of what she could possibly say instead, but Wallflower had beat her to it.
"Don't make excuses for me," Wallflower said, her voice somehow both wavering and steely at the same time. "You don't get to apologize to me for being honest about how I screwed up."
"Iā" Dumbfounded, Sunset just blinked. "Wait, what? That's notā"
"I'm the one who messed up," Wallflower continued. "I'm the one who's been acting like a selfish idiot for weeks. It's not right for you to have to apologize just because I don't like being told what I'm doing is wrong and get all pissy about it!"
"Wallyā¦"
"You're allowed to be mad! You should be mad!" Wallflower shook her head. "I deserve it!"
"No, you don't," Sunset said softly.
"I do! I'm doing the same thing to you I did to my mom! Being a thoughtless brat and making you hate me, only to turn around and throw a pity party the second you call me out on it!" Wallflower's voice hollowed and trembled, as if some awful truth had dawned on her. Whatever energy that had fueled her outburst instantly drained away, and her gazeāflat and emptyāreturned to the floor.
"No wonder she wanted me gone."
Heart sinking, Sunset stared at the floor in turn. Now look where she had led her. Another wrong move, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to pull Wallflower out of the pit Sunset had dug. She bit her lip in thought, chewing over her words, before carefully looking up at her.
"I don't hate you, Wally." Sunset let her words settle before continuing, "I wasāI amā concerned, but I don't hate you. I could never hate you." Another pause. "And I shouldn't have yelled at you. I didn't need to raise my voice to say what I was thinking."
From the corner of her eye, Wallflower briefly glanced her way, then returned her gaze to the floor.
This time, Sunset released the breath she'd been holding. "This wasā¦" About to say "Dash's idea," she cut herself off. No. There was no evading responsibility here. "This was my idea, andā"
"āAnd I screwed it up."
"You might've taken it too far," Sunset replied after a moment, "but that's an easy fix, isn't it? Just, y'knowā¦ swear less?"
Wallflower just shook her head again. "It's not that easy, Sunset."
"Why?"
"Because my stupid, useless brain can't handle anything without it," Wallflower said. "I know that sounds dumb, but ever since I left home, i-it's been likeā¦ like this thing that helps me to not think about everything that happened, to stay in the present and focus on myself instead of dwelling on the past or on what everyone else might be thinking about me." A bitter chuckle left her lips. "Figures that the moment I stop obsessing over how others think of me, I start acting like a stupid screaming child and make them all hate me. And of course I'd be too self-absorbed to notice."
"Look around the present right now, Wally," Sunset said with a slight smile. "You didn't leave home at all. You're home right now."
Something in Wallflower's posture shifted, but she otherwise didn't respond.
"Iā¦ I know swearing has been helpful for you in a lot of ways," Sunset continued, "and I don't want you to lose those good things. And I don't think anyone hates you either."
Wallflower hugged her knees. "Well, they should."
Sunset shook her head. "They don't see it that way. The other day at the arcade, our friends wereā¦ concerned." Again, she let her words resonate for a moment before continuing further. "Not angry with you. Not hating you. Justāwondering why."
Wallflower peeked up from her sweater sleeves. "It's the only way I can prove she can't control me anymore."
As she gradually thought through her next response, Sunset laid a hand on the couch cushion between them. The silent offering was not taken, but Wallflower nonetheless didn't move away.
"Being able to do something that she not only didn't let you do, but hurt you for doingā¦ Being able to do that as much as you want, unafraidā¦" Sunset drummed her fingers on the cushion. "I bet that feels pretty empowering."
Wallflower's only reply was a slight nod.
"Think about it though, Wally. If the reason you're doing it is to prove she's not controlling you anymore, doesn't that mean she still is?"
For the first time in what felt like hours, Wallflower sat up and looked at Sunset. Her mouth opened and closed wordlessly, her hands shaking as her girlfriend's words seemed to echo and resonate within and without them both.
Sensing the tide brewing, Sunset reached her outstretched hand a little further.
This time, Wallflower took it just as her tears began.
Soon, Wallflower was leaning against Sunset, her head on her shoulder. Sunset held her close as she cried, running her fingers through Wallflower's hair. The only sound in the apartment was that of Wallflower's almost breathless sobs.
Once they started to die down, Sunset said, "You don't have to prove anything, Wally. Not to me. Not to her. Not to anyone."
Wallflower squeezed her hand. Sunset smiled, and held her a little closer.
By the time Sunset had run out of things to stare at on her phone, she was the only one still sitting in the waiting room. She briefly perused the old magazines the office had scattered around, but found little of interest in their curling pages. After organizing them into a neat stack on the center coffee table, she returned to her seat, then glanced at the clock on the wall.
With a frown, she noted that the appointment had run almost half an hour past its allotted time. Taking a slow breath, she willed herself to try and be patient. Maybe that was a good sign? She hoped as much. Bringing Wallflower here had been the final step Sunset could take; the rest was up to her.
Just as Sunset returned to scrolling through her friends' group chat, the door opened.
Though she was teary-eyed, Wallflower visibly lit up as soon as Sunset looked her way.
Behind Wallflower, the counselor offered both of them a small smile before handing her client a little white card. "Same time next week, Wallflower?"
"Mhm." Wallflower nodded, then wiped at her eyes.
"Alright. Take care, and see you soon." With one last smile towards Sunset, the counselor returned to her office, closing the door behind her.
"Hey." Sunset walked over to Wallflower. "How was it?"
Instead of answering, Wallflower leaned into Sunset, who enveloped her in a hug. The two stayed like that for a while, Sunset holding Wallflower close, feeling her breath against her neck gradually slow to normal.
Then, low enough so only Sunset could hear, Wallflower replied, "Really fucking good."
Hugging her a little tighter, Sunset couldn't help but grin.
Although they broke the hug, Wallflower didn't pull away, reaching for Sunset's hand. They walked out of the CSU counseling office together into the crisp evening air. Neither spoke much as they made their way to the car, enjoying the tranquil silence as the sun began to fade.
Once they were buckled in, Sunset decided to check her phone before starting the car. "Oh!" She glanced up at Wallflower. "Our friends were wondering if you'd be down for going to the arcade again next weekend." With a smirk, she added, "Rainbow Dash says she wants a skee-ball rematch."
Wallflower cracked a brief smile. "I knew she let me win."
"Soā¦ should I tell them yes?" Sunset asked, hopeful.
After a moment, Wallflower nodded. "Yeah, okay," she said. "I guess they really aren't mad at me about last time, huh?"
"Of course not, Wally."
Wallflower sighed. Her gaze turned out the window as Sunset started the engine. "You've got some really great friends, Sunset."
Sunset nudged her. "We've got some really great friends."
"...Yeah." Wallflower smiled softly. "Yeah, we do."
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before i even read this: amazing chapter titles
Havenāt read it yet but I saw the title and instant knew it was Scampy lol
fuck
11048814
She has that effect on people.
11048807
All credit goes to Scampy for those. She's a literary genius.
Relevant:
Already hit the Feature Box and it hasn't been out for an hour! (Puts in RiL, swears to read it).
Fuck.
I swore to read it.
Yeah, I ain't leaving. I know what I did and I'm proud of it!
I can see what you meant when you said this was more serious than Accidentally in Yeet. This is certainly a more serious handling of a serious matter while still providing a good laugh here or there.
I can't say I enjoyed this as much as Yeet, but I think that's kind of the point. It's that good kind of uncomfortable feeling when things go bad.
Masterwork job as always, and can't wait for your next collab.
Also, those are some great fucking titles.
Loved it!
I came to this fic expecting funny swearing jokes, saw the warning about c-ptsd and didnt think much of it, only to get absolutely blindsided by Feels
Sunset is a comfort character of mine, and seeing her help Wallflower learn to handle her C-PTSD really hit home for me. Even though it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, and the end didn't fix everything, that just makes it even better. Problems aren't easily fixed with a snap of one's fingers, but they can be fixed if one puts the effort in. Sunset and Wallflower still have a lot to learn, about each other and about themselves, but that's the beauty of humanity.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go to the arcade and dab on a kid. Might be cathartic, if Wally's experience says anything.
11048986
So glad to see our story is having the impact we hoped it would šššššššš
Haven't read it but a clip from wrestling popped into my head with the swearing.
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7cgt8"We will only use the words 'ass', 'damn', 'hell' and 'b***h'. We will use the words 's**t', 'f**k' g*****n', 'j*********t', 'f*****' or any other racial or sexual slurs"
"Ah s**t"
Watch your f****** mouth! G*******t"
This is so good. I loved every second of it.
I wrote this and these two charlatesbians beat me and took it away. Please cancel them.
11049107
I will do anything for Posh
11049107
Eat shit, shiteater qB^)
media.discordapp.net/attachments/692239896773001217/909348253236072458/U.png
And so the healing process begins in earnest.
Well done Scampy and Gay for Gadot. Thank you.
This was hilarious and stupid and touching. As I knew it would be, because you two could not have produced anything less.
Beholder is correctāSunset in a panic is never not funny, poor girlāand Wallflowerās pachinko-ball path through this whole arc is completely plausible. The echoes of Wallflowerās mother in her own actions are horrifying but make perfect sense. If either of the girls stopped for a moment to consider that resemblance it might be an epiphany, if a very painful one.
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āFucking pollen everywhere in that office,ā Wallflower swore, sniffling. āAnyway that was a waste of fucking time. Iām gonna become a Scientologist.ā
It has the outward appearance of a troll fic but with the substance of a serious issue. Much like how Wallflower's swearing is comical at first but hides some serious psychological trauma.
Wallflower's use of swearing and wild activities to cope with trauma is very believable. It's almost like someone who's been trapped in a restrictive environment for so long and suddenly getting her first taste of freedom.
Also: emojis in title!
11049729
We are literally lesbians, dude.
11049729
oh my god late night you are so fucking stupid, you are the stupidest son of a bitch around, you are so uniquely unintelligent, how the fuck do you not realize that this is a joke about them being gay women in a relationship and not a joke about them and the authors hating men you smoothbrain son of a bitch, Iām going to write a story about your OC being trans and thereās nothing you or your 2.5 brain cells can do about it
EDIT: Late_Night you fucking dunce I canāt reply to your copy-pasted DM chest-beating if you have me blocked
11049778
how do I pin a comment on fimfic
11049783 media.discordapp.net/attachments/804888390042255381/909566336739463228/sexy_way.png?width=2427&height=1365
11049729
no bro the lesbians wonāt fuck you
11049729
how have you not fucked off yet
11049825
If you were referring to the anecdote, consider the scenario posed by the quote:
In order for someone to feel the "average" temperature, they first jump in a pool of boiling water for one minute, then into a pool of freezing cold water for one minute, then back to the boiling water, then to the freezing water, etc. Mathematically, they are experiencing the average temperature between the two because they're moving back and forth and spending time in the two extremes equally, but functionally they are alternating between scalding and freezing themself, so the end result is actually damaging rather than healthy.
Fundamentally, its the idea that going from one extreme to the other doesn't actually mean you're evening out in the end, or that it is a healthy way to achieve balance. In fact, it may be harmful.
If you were referring to what is a bone flower, it's something from Kindred of the East, a part of the World of Darkness roleplaying game setting. Specifically, the Song of Shadows philosophy held by the Cathayan vampires, who's practitioners are called Bone Flowers. Even if it's for an RPG, there are still anecdotes in it that I found compelling because there's a certain amount of truth to them.
11049895
If you're looking for that kind of SunFlower scene, you can check out my latest story as well.
Great job, my friend. As always :)
I havenāt read this yet, but I canāt get enough of the storyās cover.
This was really uncomfortable to read but in the best way possible. Also this comment section was wonderfully cathartic. Well done on both accounts!
11050143
That actually makes a lot of sense tanks for responding
11049821
He's preemptively embarrassed by the idea of looking at masturbation tutorials and it's not like he'll ever find a woman who gives him the time of day.
(This is a pun on "fuck" because that's my favorite way to use bad words)
11049729
You do realize the authors are literally dating and are lesbians right
11049729
Itās a stretch to assume that writing the fatherless, traumatized teenager in her first relationship with a somewhat expectable opinion for someone in her position is just a seat to virtue signal. Thereās no shortage of people doing that, thatās true, but the moment we become incapable of the benefit of the doubt is when it becomes a preconceived notion. Considering neither of us know the author personally, itās safe to say weāre better off taking that remark within the context of the story, where it does make a decent amount of sense being there.
11049608
what the fuck did I just read?
And on that note, what are you smoking, and where can I get it?
Coming off of Accidentally In Yeet this didn't land too well with me. I kind of just felt really uncomfortable as the story went on with the middle ground it was stuck at between a story about a girl encouraging her partner out of being down ending up with some uncomfortable social consequences and having to work through that while at the same time a fair part of it wanted to be comedic and have Wallflower DAB! on a crying child and send Rainbow Dash literally rofling
Like that did hit but with the story focusing on a socially anxious girl suddenly became repeatedly oblivious to the consequences of her actions in public, the two routes of either going fuller goofy with that in a AccInYeet way could have felt smooth, or going in harder on the drama/hurt/resolution of the consequences for Sunset and Wallflower could have felt smooth, but by being sort of in the middle I felt off-put by the story by the end of it all
In a tangential side note that'll accidentally wrap back around to being relevant, reusing the I'm gay! joke from A in Yeet is just like
go tell people to read and/or reread Accidentally In Yeet instead!!!
It felt akinly off-putting in tone here because in Yeet it happens its a funny way - Wally asks Sunny if she wants a lil something something because they're already in the bathroom together and Sunny replies with what's a literal affirmative as a panicked negative to someone who's already her partner, but here it's like, Sunset, genuinely worried, asks her GF are you okay?? And she answers in an I'm Gay which could be funny in a different context but with the Social & Mental Health Drama tone of the story in mind it's no longer really "lmao my lesb gf is really gay" and it's instead "oh my girlfriend isn't mentally doing well :("
this isnt all to say that the trials and tribulations of life can't be both traumatic but then sort of, looking back on it, its kind of funny how much trouble you got up into in those social blunders way. it's just that here when it came to the brazen slapstickish comedy of yeet, that didn't feel well at all seeing it try to happen in tandem with people genuinely getting hurt emotionally or socially or mentally :c
That was both horrible and amazing to read. God dammit. I hate you and thank you.
Now the big question is if they'll let her back into the arcade. So well done, and another in my line of: insta-faved for normalizing therapy.
idk how you made me laugh my ass off and then destroy me not even like five min later but thanks
11058979
That's the ScaDot special qB^)
You glorious bastard! You did it! You made me laugh, then you made me feels!
Really enjoyed reading this!
This might just be my new favorite ship.
Alphas, and Sigmas donāt exist. But Chad respecter of women is a real achievable state of bean
Wow. Okay. So you warned us at the start that this contains both themes of C-PTSD and also themes of swearing like a sailor, and my word did you deliver on both of those fronts. You swing to both extremes here, but just manage to keep it from falling into the territory of tonal whiplash. Thatās a fine line to walk, and you managed it very nicely.
Thereās clearly a lot of you in the first chapter here. Wallyās characterisation is spot-on as always ā I suspected that sheād try to pile blame onto herself during their talk about her mum, but just how natural and seamlessly you wove it into her replies is brilliant. Thereās no part of that confrontation that sticks out as āThe Part Where Wallflower Shows Her Nature For Self-Loathingā, but instead it all just flows together.
Youāve got a real knack for reading the readerās mind as well! When Sunset chose to use the word āunsafeā, I couldnāt help but think it felt a bit excessive considering the tone up until then. Then Wallflower comes in with the exact same reservation and you spin it into a whole new tangent to her backstory ā fantastic.
Ah, good to see weāre keeping this firmly in the realm of fantasy utopia here
Hopefully Iām not leaping to conclusions by assuming that Wallflower is somewhat of a comfort character for you. So to write her like such a complete and total arse during the climax isā¦ wow. Wally felt utterly out-of-character here, whichā¦ is kinda the whole point, I suppose, lying beneath the memes and copypasta ranting. If someoneās been pulled and pulled in a certain direction all their life, freeing them from that chokehold can make them snap straight over to the other extreme. Even through feeling uncomfortable at how genuinely unpleasant you made Wally here, you manage to pack a message in.
Which leads us to the resolution. Iāve always been a fan of fiction that explores a characterās āfailure stateā ā a scenario where a character is forced into a place where theyāre at their worst. One of Sunsetās flaws is her temper, and I donāt think Iāve seen that boil over in a way that lashes out at Wallflower specifically. Youāve taken the character flaw and put your own heart-wrenching spin onto it, especially since these two are so often paired for cute, cuddly lesbian goodness. And especially because she lashes out at Wallflower for lashing out at herselfā¦ Shit. That hurts.
The conclusion is clichƩ, yes, but it still feels earned. Both of them showing their vulnerabilities and supporting each other as they do so, finding a happy medium after seeing the horrors of the two extremes while the lack of communication compounded the issue.
In fact, putting it that way, this story is structured well enough to feel like an actual EqG episode, and hopefully that comes across as the compliment that I mean it as.
Um. Maybe apart from the whole āfuckā business. Might not be able to slip that one past Hasbro corporate.
I got to finish it but the parts I read I enjoyed, it was so....seamless and smooth.