• Member Since 16th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Apple Bottoms

Pony got those Apple Bottoms jeans, jeans! Boots with the fur - with the fur!


This story is a sequel to I'm Going To Woo Fluttershy And Tase Discord

Despite everything, Fontana Beyoncé is still in Equestria, and she's trying to find where she fits in Fluttershy's life. But it seems wherever she turns she's hit with setbacks, whether it's the metaphorical guilt that hangs over her head for lying to the sweet Fluttershy, or the literal hooves of a foal kicking her shins in the market.

Fontana knows she has to tell Fluttershy the truth; but can she do it between 90s movie references, Fluttershy speaking like a living self-help manual, townsfolk insulting her at random, Rarity's speciesism, and a possible Discord return? Find out! In WOO FLUTTERSHY 2: 2 DISCORD, 2 TASE!

Written for Bicyclette's contest! And because Fontana is so ridiculously fun to write!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 18 )

words cannot express how excited i am to read this

there are no words

in a good way, of course


There's lots of words! There's like 4k of 'em in there! :rainbowhuh:
There may be no words, but there sure are plenty of downvotes! :rainbowlaugh:

i love this so much thank you

i love the nickname "Fon-Fon" ugh it's so cute

even if this were the only entry i get for my dumb contest i'd still be very happy with it (tho i hope there are more as good as this! i enjoyed this so much)

HOORAY I am glad you enjoyed it! :raritystarry: Fontana is a lot of fun, I am glad you enjoy her as much as I do. :rainbowlaugh: And look at this! 4-4! The like box has finally achieved balance. :scootangel:

Aw thank you! You are too kind! I hope you get more entries too!

But now the like box is IN CHAOS at 4-5 so I need to go meditate with my Fluttershy Wife candle. It is also from eBay. :yay:

Liked it a bit more than the last one, but this type of story just isn't for me. Sorry about that.

…Also, is it just me, or is this sequel's comment section becoming a complete replica of the last one's?

is there anything wrong with supporting my friend? :3

No, not at all. I just thought it was a funny coincidence.

It really is, especially now that you've joined us once more! :rainbowlaugh:

So, genuine question, because I'm sincerely curious; if you disliked the first one, was there a reason you came to read the sequel? I mean, I would imagine most readers simply saw 'oof, another OC human fic' and scrolled on. I appreciate that you disliked it less than the first, and I do appreciate you taking the time to read it! But you didn't want to put that energy towards a different story? I mean, I have other stories that don't even have Discord getting tased once! :rainbowlaugh:

In short, morbid curiosity; I wanted to see what direction you took things in. I wasn't even going to comment, but then I saw the parallels between the comment sections, felt inclined to point them out (adding to the parallels in the process), and then psyched myself into thinking it'd be weird if I just left a random non-sequitur.

…Judging by your reaction, it came off as weird anyway, so I guess I was screwed no matter what.

Maybe a little weird, but that's not the worst thing to be! :rainbowlaugh: I guess it was confusing to get a comment of 'the first one was bad, but let's try it again!', but I suppose that a lot of sequels can be vastly different than their precursors! And I can't fault anyone for being curious! So thanks for giving it another try, I appreciate you taking the time! :twilightsmile:

And I appreciate you for having me! Sorry I'm still such a stick-in-the-mud/thorn-in-the-side.

reading this again and loving this again. i am so proud of Fluttershy completing her character arc

Awww you are so sweet! :heart: I'm glad you enjoy it so much!!

“My mommy says you’re a freak!” the foal snarled, and gave Fontana’s shin another vicious kick.

such heartbreaking anti-human prejudice, this world is so corrupt...

Fontana would have only considered something like that if she wanted to die of shame. Who would want to read about her life adventures, anyway? It wasn’t like they were that exciting.

oof, i am sorry Fontana for having to exist once more

Well, scratch that; they were exciting, in the sense that she had just stepped into the magical pony kingdom she’d spent a literal decade fangirling over, had tased the obnoxious former-villain-turned-‘friend’ character she loathed, and was in the process of suggesting a better lifestyle of boundary-building to the most historically trod-upon character in the entire show.

agreed! it is very exciting

Second of all, Johnathan Taylor Thomas was nowhere to be seen.

damn, there's a name i haven't heard in about a decade

As a human, Fontana was almost twice her height walking; lengthwise, they were much closer. She assumed, anyway, since ponies had relatively long legs.

*comic book guy voice* hey, in the last story the narration promised not to think about such things anymore! LITERALLY UNREADABLE

Oh, right, the other thing; Fluttershy was clearly enamored of her and her ‘raccoon hands’, and their whole relationship was founded on lie after lie! She wasn’t even a raccoon!

such tragedy, sigh

“No, I mean - like that little kid. With the kicking. That, uh, made an impression.” Fontana rubbed her shin. “Literally. Possibly in the bone.”

oof, i really do hate how sensitive shins are! but they're at the perfect height for my clumsy self to continually bang them into things. what gives, evolution?

“Yes, I did!” Fluttershy beamed, and gave her tail a happy swish. “I am bettering myself day by day! But the best me is the me I already am; I just have to reveal her while ignoring the burden of societal expectations and pony-pleasing that I’ve allowed to hold sway over my internal monologue for far too long!”

i do love this idea of Fluttershy learning self-help jargon in order to be better about boundaries, and you do a great one here!

“You can borrow my latest book from the Ponyville Library if you’d like, Fon-Fon,” Fluttershy demurred, and she gazed up at Fontana a little shyly from under her mane.

and i love this nickname for Fontana, though i wonder if i'm just biased because it rhymes with Bon Bon, one of the best pony names ever

“We could … r-read it … before bed,” Fluttershy continued, and more and more of her face vanished beneath her mane, until Fontana felt like she was talking to a L’Oreal commercial.

haha, perfect! but seriously, how are these pony manes always so perfectly coiffed and silky smooth?

Bonjour, mes amis! Rarity shall be right with - FLUTTERSHY.” Rarity kicked a pony into a changing room, and yanked the curtain closed. “Un moment, ma chère! I will be right back! FLUTTERSHY.” Rarity’s tonal shifting was giving Fontana whiplash, and she was anything but smiling when she stalked over to where they stood together at the front of her shop.

great use of needless French here, very much appreciated

“And I’ve realized that I am not honoring my friendship with Fontana, nor my own personal truth, if I allow you to dictate where and when I may collect the goods which I have exchanged my money for, at a very fair rate, due to your own speciesism.” Fluttershy stared at her, then gave a little nod to cap it off.

dang, Fluttershy! go off!

Rarity gave Fluttershy a pitying gaze. “Being guilted into something by Celestia gives things rather a different tone, dear. And I never trusted that lout as far as I could lift my chiffonier, anyways.”

oof, it is so sad to see one of my favorite ponies being so Racist

“You made my wife cry! She said, ‘look at that horrible thing! It’s awful! It’s so tall, and ungainly!’ You frightened children!”

“Children who deserved it, or like, normal children?”

amazing line, this. i hope to use it in real life one day

Fontana, for her part, looked guilty, but she tried to deflect from it.

c'mon, Fontana! you should know that Fluttershy's explosive rages are very much a canon part of her personality, and not something your bad influence caused!

How could she call that lo- Very Like?

haha, nice

Who was she, if not Discord Lite?

The very thought of it had made her barf in her mouth a little bit. To quote the 90s teen drama that her life was being compared to, this was totally not radical, dude!

oof, stare into the abyss for long enough...

It was something Fontana had found out about her that wasn’t from the show, that she Very Liked about her.

that is a sweet little detail!

“Isn’t that the mailmare’s wagon over across the street?”

The mailmare whirled; indeed it was, and in fact, they saw Mailmare Cloudbreak merrily return to her wagon, and take off at a trot once more, whistling a jaunty tune.

perfect animated sitcom gag

And kind of like an obnoxious power-tripping alien from reruns on the SciFi network before it got bought out by those alien-history-conspiracy-theory shows!

yeah that was a disappointing turn for that channel

Who’s going to worry about poor little Discord?”

“Most of the fandom?” Fontana grumbled to herself.

haha, perfect

Fontana waited for a witty quip to come to her, perhaps an outdated reference or meme, but none came. She was left staring down at her hands, utterly defenseless to the silence that filled the room.

oof, that's how you know it's a Serious Scene

“That’s a charged word right now, let’s use ‘manipulate’ instead,” Fontana interjected quietly, her eyes darting to an imaginary camera.

ah, the Discourse

and Fluttershy stomped away, up into her house. Because they still stood on the street beside her mailbox, it took several minutes.

“I feel like this would have been more dramatic if it didn’t take so long, you know?” Discord opined.

“We aren’t friends,” Fontana growled.

another great gag, you are really good at this

She shoved a book into Discord’s midsection, and he gave a comical little oof! as he stumbled backwards, clutching the dog-eared copy of It’s a Big World Out There, Little Pony; Better Yourself, Better Your World.

great callback to the prequel, and it's a really nice touch that it's an in-universe book, too!

“Yeah,” Fontana said slowly. “It’s, uh … Hannah.”

this is just as great of a reveal as it was the first two times i read it

“Yeah. It was a cute name to have, up until around March 24th, 2006…” Fontana muttered, and a jingle fluttered through her thoughts, unbidden.

huh, this does remind me of how little i've thought about Miley Cyrus in, like, five years? boy, that was a weird time

Fluttershy smiled, and Fontana realized that, for the first time ever, she was in a place where absolutely no one would sing part of a theme song to her upon their introduction.

that's the nice thing about Equestria, isn't it? a true utopia, sigh

“No - please, please do.” Fontana chuckled, and when Fluttershy hopped off of her lap, she gave her eyes a quick dab with her sleeve. It was easier to be disaffected and hide behind humor; this feelings business was no fuckin’ joke.

oof, yeah, i get you there

“I told you to give me time, Discord, and that was your first warning,” Fluttershy snarled, holding the little box she’d stolen from Fontana’s back pocket. “Next time I won’t be so nice, shitbag.

and a perfect ending, going out on a joke to cut the building Sincerity. not to mention Fluttershy completing her character arc of melding with Fontana's personality in two different ways! excellent work. the fact that this fic doesn't have more acclaim and better reception is a crime, committed by a community of criminals

Login or register to comment