Steamed Up

Wanting to keep Gallus company, Silverstream gets some books from the library and the two find one about some older locomotives. They aren’t able to find anymore so they end up asking Rusty to know more. Soon, it leads to a field trip to show the power of steam.

Chapters (2)

Looking at the Past · 20th Nov 2021 · 4,325 words
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Ride the Rails · 28th Nov 2021 · 4,187 words
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Comments ( 11 )

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Diamond Sparkle

Diamond Sparkle #1 · Nov 20th, 2021 · · · Looking at the Past ·

A nice little fic so far.

The Blue EM2

The Blue EM2 #2 · Nov 20th, 2021 · · · Looking at the Past ·

While the new gemstones, which were so revolutionary, helped heal him faster, but it still took a long time.

This would read better if 'which were so revolutionary' and 'but' were removed from the sentence.

For Gallus, he can’t stop thinking about his biological parents

Couldn't stop thinking (past tense)

Since the number of products being sold between Ponyville and Canterlot, traveling by hoof was proving to be not only unprofitable but dangerous too.

This sentence does not make sense. It would read better if the words 'had increased' were added after 'Canterlot'.

However, a few problems have made the inventions more hinders than helpful.

Remove the word 'have'. This not only makes the sentence make sense, it also eliminates a tense swap. Also change 'hinders than helpful' to 'more of a hindrance than a help.'

They had to keep the steam pressure in the right spot if it’s too cold, and the engine wouldn't move, and if it’s too hot, they had a risky of a boiler explosion.

This sentence is overly long and factually innacurate. The use of it's constitutes a tense swap ('it's' is short for 'it is', not 'it was'). It also doesn't make much sense. Here is the sentence reworked for you.

They had to keep the steam pressure in the right spot. If the pressure was too low, the engine wouldn't move, and if it was too high, they risked a boiler explosion.

Both griffs shuttered thinking what would happen if a creature got caught up in.

'Shuddered'. Shuttering is a photography technical term. Silverstream is also not a griffon; she's a hippogriff.

The first model they had named ‘Rolling Hoof’managed to reach a decent speed of 15 mph.

Add a comma after both 'model' and 'hoof'. At present, the sentence implies the engine being called Rolling Hoof is the reason it could reach 15 miles an hour, which I presume is not what you mean.

A set of 4-4-0 locomotives

Considering you mention later that some had tenders, the bulk of these engines were tank engines. 4-4-0 is not a practical wheel arrangement for a tank engine, as the weight distribution is completely wrong. 0-4-4 would make more sense in this case, as the weight of the boiler is directly over the driving wheels, dramatically increasing adhesion.

“Wait, I haven't seen one with a tender,” Silverstream commented. “And who do those fours and zeroes mean?”
“It shows the wheel configuration,” Rusty explained. He pointed to the engine in the book that was the typical class of engine they had seen pulling the trains. “It works like this: the first 4 shows how many unpowered wheels are at the front that isn’t powered. The middle 4 is how many drive wheels the engine possesses, and the zero is for how many training wheels it has. So with an engine like this, these engines are 4-4-0s."

Rusty's dialogue should be in a new paragraph. New speaker, new line.

Major towns like Canterlot and Manehattan had marshaling yards built.

Marshalling is spelt with two Ls, not one.

"Hmm, at the stations were allowed at, not likely.” The hippogriff sighed in disappointment. Rusty then looked at Gallus, who had something to say.

'We're', not 'were'. I also find it hard to believe that no goods trains are routed through railway stations.

the railroad companies need to keep their efficacy

I think you mean 'efficiency'.

Using the gravity of the hill, along with careful control of the breaks, this is much faster than just moving one set of cars at a time, putting the ones at the front on right siding, uncoupling, reversing, and repeating.
This faster style does require a lot of teamwork. Somepony has run alongside the cars to put their brakes, another pony has to be in the signal box and change the points. And of course, the tank engine needs a driver and fire pony to keep it going.

'Brakes', not 'breaks'. I'd also like to point out that this isn't how hump shunting works; vehicles sent over the hump are usually loose or unfitted wagons, with their handbrakes applied before they start rolling. It also isn't neccesarily faster; as wagons have be sent down the hump one by one, it can be quicker to marshal existing trucks together in some cases.

“Ooh, sometimes you transport food in fridge cars.”

The correct term is 'Refridgerated stock', or 'XP rated vehicles' if you're from the UK.

Silverstream’s eye lit up when she saw the note. “A railroad field trip?!” she beamed. Gallus chuckled at his girlfriend’s excitement. He looked at the students that had signed up, including Rusty. There was still plenty of space for them to sign up. Silverstream wasted no time doing this. Gallus wheeled himself over to the sign-up sheet so he could join her, though his arm was still tired from physical therapy, so he needed some help. After signing up, they checked the date of when the field trip was. “Hmm, not too long from today,” Gallus commented. “I can wait that long.”

Again, new speaker, new paragraph.

Yoshifan30

Yoshifan30 #3 · Nov 20th, 2021 · · · Looking at the Past ·

They were glad that they’re out of the hospital almost recovered from the events that happened before. For Gallus, he can’t stop thinking about his biological parents, Glynn and Gadget, he discovered when plotting a plan to destroy the Gold Gang; now that he has a family, he now doesn’t consider himself an orphan anymore. He smiled as they trotted along.

Which I am very happy for Gallus but they only question is are they at griffonstone right now

Yoshifan30

Yoshifan30 #4 · Nov 20th, 2021 · · · Looking at the Past ·

11055949
I kind of figured you be here since you like trains alot

😁

Yoshifan30

Yoshifan30 #5 · Nov 20th, 2021 · · · Looking at the Past ·

“I kind of want to know what was in that book,” Gallus admitted.

You're too young kid it's rated R

The Blue EM2

The Blue EM2 #6 · Nov 20th, 2021 · · · Looking at the Past ·

11056044
Indeed.

Yoshifan30

Yoshifan30 #7 · Nov 20th, 2021 · 1 · · Looking at the Past ·

Ash and his crew tried a couple of ideas to power modes of transportation. However, a few problems have made the inventions more hinders than helpful. The machines would often wear ponies out faster, they couldn’t maneuver around easily, and they were just like ponies pulling carts but with extra steps.

Speaking of ponies pulling the cart remember that episode over the barrel in the scene when the train was actually pulled by ponies I got to admit that was funny and those Ponies are pretty dang strong and very fast but they only did that one time

Yoshifan30

Yoshifan30 #8 · Nov 20th, 2021 · · · Looking at the Past ·

“I don’t see what you’ll be able to do with lava,” Smolder commented. “Even if Dragon Lord Ember lets you have any for random purposes.” Her friends did know that the underground lava rivers were important to the dragon eggs.

Ohh she's got a good point because I did remember and that episode how dragon eggs hatch

Yoshifan30

Yoshifan30 #9 · Nov 20th, 2021 · · · Looking at the Past ·

Ok this is so very interesting one here so it looks like gallus smolder and Ocellus are finally getting out of the hospital making their recovery but they still need to fully recovery so they still need to be careful what they do and gallus still wonder what happened to his parents but we just heard that they are in Canterlot but he still wants to see them after how much he missed them but it looks like silverstream found something she's interested and it's about trains very interesting information about the locomotive trains and it's pretty cool that she asked Rusty for any information because since he likes trains a lot and coincidentally there's a field trip going on and it's about the train so gallus silverstream rusty and some of the students want to get onto this so I wonder what's going to happen next

Yoshifan30

Yoshifan30 #10 · Nov 28th, 2021 · · · Ride the Rails ·

Then a random idea struck the hippogriff. “What do you think it would be like to be an engine?”

“Like a living locomotive?“

“I think I’d keep them still. Though, I’m not too sure about how the faces would look. Just a pony’s head on the front doesn’t sound right me.”

Like Thomas the Train lol

Yoshifan30

Yoshifan30 #11 · Nov 28th, 2021 · 1 · · Ride the Rails ·

Okay this was a very interesting story and very fascinating information about how trains works but at least the students did have fun with this after that big events what happened so yeah that was pretty good keep up the good work you guys

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