I'm Going To Woo Fluttershy And Tase Discord

TWoo Fluttershy 2: 2 Discord, 2 Tase
MLP: FiM
Romance
Comedy
What if we kissed (while we worked through our relationship issues) (over Discord's limp body)
Profanity
Alt. Universe
Human
Fluttershy
Apple Bottoms · 4.4k words · 18 12 · 422 views

I'm Going To Woo Fluttershy And Tase Discord

Source

Some people just want to snuggle with cute, soft ponies, and daydream about how lovely their life would be with one by their side. Other people want to wreak terrible vengeance upon any creature who would dare infringe upon their happy, carefree pony life.

Fontana Beyoncé (not her real name) is the latter. She's got an enchanted universe-hopping candle from eBay, and she's got her taser: she's ready to take down Discord. But is she ready to face her feelings?

Written for the Y/N x Mane 6 Shipping Contest Part isekai, part romance, part silly, all fun!

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 14 )

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iAmSiNnEr

iAmSiNnEr #1 · Nov 3rd, 2021 · 3 · ·

holy shit Apple how did you learn to shitpost like this

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #2 · Nov 3rd, 2021 · 4 · ·

beautiful. wonderful. incredible. amazing.

Apple Bottoms

Apple Bottoms #3 · Nov 3rd, 2021 · 7 · ·

11037537
11037550

Two phony ponies full of baloney stand before me. I have one upvote; I have one downvote. Two readers; two votes. Let the denial... COMMENCE

TheAncientPolitzanian

TheAncientPolitzanian #4 · Nov 3rd, 2021 · 3 · ·

I wanted to be open-minded and find enjoyment in this, but its tone (especially when the target of its ire came into focus) was so overpoweringly acidic that it might as well have given me a chemical burn.

I dunno, I've never been good with this sort of thing. I guess I just wasn't made for these times. I'm sorry.

EDIT: In hindsight, this comment — particularly, its first half — came out far harsher than I would've liked. I'm sorry for my earlier lack of tact.

Apple Bottoms

Apple Bottoms #5 · Nov 3rd, 2021 · 1 · ·

11037584
That's quite alright! There's many stories on this site I can't stomach. I had hoped it might be a comedic sort of acid, someone's dislike of a character taken to a silly tase-fueled extreme! But I was pretty rough on him!

CasualReader

CasualReader #6 · Nov 4th, 2021 · 5 · ·

11037558
The vote count is currently at 11/11.
Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

Apple Bottoms

Apple Bottoms #7 · Nov 5th, 2021 · 3 · ·

11038981
🕊 The vote box is finally ... at peace. I can rest.

Cyana Flame

Cyana Flame #8 · Nov 6th, 2021 · 2 · ·

13/13

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #9 · Nov 7th, 2021 · 3 · ·

reading this a second time and wish i could upvote it a second time too

Mockingbirb

Mockingbirb #10 · Dec 9th, 2021 · 2 · ·

I love how this story ALMOST turns the premise of the Y/N contest on its head, by focusing on how the relationship between the pony and the human changes the PONY'S life. (But getting to help someone else can have a positive effect on the helper's life too, can't it? I think it will in this case.) I really enjoyed this story's light-hearted tone that still respects a deadly serious subject (with a helpful book recommendation!)

The other thing about this story that really astonishes me is that so many people would bother to dislike it.

Mockingbirb

Mockingbirb #11 · Dec 9th, 2021 · 3 · ·

11037537
This story isn't a shitpost! It is well-written and beautiful.

Apple Bottoms

Apple Bottoms #12 · Dec 9th, 2021 · 2 · ·

11078546

Aww, you are so sweet Mockingbirb! Thank you!! The Y/N contest runner hated it so much he invented a 'honorable mention' position then rescinded it so he didn't have to honor my story, LMAO! But I still had a lot of fun writing it, so ultimately I still felt like a winner! It won the DIShonorable mention!

11078549
Aww!! My heart is so warm... almost as warm as the napalm Fontana wants to use on Discord!

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #13 · Dec 31st, 2021 · 3 · ·

But the only lesson she could take from Discord was ‘if you have a creepy older man in your life who treats you badly and literally brainwashes and tortures your friends, you should attempt to befriend him so he can continually abuse and betray you!’

all three of these paragraphs are absolute truth!

She woke up in a tangle of limbs, her “EZ FLIGHT 2 EQUESTRIA!” candle still burning next to her. The last thing she remembered was reading off a list of complicated Latin from her cell phone, sitting on a detailed pony-influenced summoning circle drawn in chalk in her basement. And now she was … well, there.

an extremely good mechanic for interdimensional travel

Canterlot was either a day’s train ride away, or a quick flight, depending on what the plot called for.

yeah, nailing down any sort of canon-coherent distance between Canterlot and Ponyville is a pain, isn't it?

“What are you!” the first bravest pony asked - Lyra, she realized with a flash of recognition. This is a little too on the nose, even for me, she thought to herself, watching the way Lyra’s eyes darted to her hands.

ah, love the trope awareness here.

“What kind of visitor?” Bon Bon asked suspiciously, her eyes narrowing as she drew even with Lyra. Protectively, she thought; that was very cute. “Where are you from?”

and it is cute, isn't it? Bon Bon the secret agent monster hunter being married to Lyra the human-obsessed weirdo is a very fun dynamic to use in any HiE story, even if for just one line in a genre deconstruction

And put your arms down, it’s been like half an hour!!

it is fun to imagine the protagonist T-posing at the ponies for this long just because she doesn't know what to do with her arms

“It’s - Fontana. Fontana Beyoncé.”

perfect name

Good for her, but why couldn’t she point that suspicion at Discord? Then I could have saved that $19.95 on the candle!

damn, that is an amazing fic idea

Fontana made a little wiggle with her hand on ‘fairy’, hoping that it looked properly ethereal despite her H&M leggings.

flashbacks to my twenties rn. those things were the perfect price back then!

This is probably anthropomorphically important, Fontana thought to herself, and then deliberately never thought of it again.

(And not off-hooved, since she was a person!)

love the meta here

“Ooh, a fairy! I don’t know if I’ve ever met one of those!” (You still haven’t, Fontana noted to herself.)

oof, the protagonist starting her wooing based on a lie, so tragic

(Well, her path from the last ten years, but who was counting?)

i mean what was even the point of life before this dumb show?

Discord gasped, his eyes wide. “You … you don’t think I’m cool?”

absolutely perfect Discord response!

“Oh no!” Fontana gasped, and held a little black box aloft; it no longer buzzed angrily. “I think he touched my fairy magic! It’s safely contained in this little box, you see. Oh, I hope he’s alright!”
Not.

hehehe

While Fluttershy busied herself with carrying his tail, Fontana was able to whisper her next words only to him. “I’m not joking, bitch.”
Discord gulped.

perfect

How would she transition from ‘your shitty friend got tased’ to ‘hey baby are you single’?

wlw_irl

Suddenly, she wasn’t so sure of her mission any longer. If he made Fluttershy happy, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to tase Discord out of existence after all.

no don't lose sight of your mission Fontana!

“Mean shit?”
Fluttershy gasped and leaned back sharply to stare at Fontana; her lashes still sparkled with unshed tears.

adorable, but a presumptuous reaction to a pony who tosses the word peeved around with abandon!

Fluttershy took the book from the fairy’s strangely shaped hooves, considering the title curiously; Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men. “Did someone write a book about our realm?”

perfect book plug

“Yes, here; see, the elegant little digits?” Fluttershy murmured, and lifted one of Fontana’s hands with her hoof, cradling it delicately. “I realized why they seemed familiar to me. A raccoon-fae, who abandoned her own realm to venture to another, disguising herself in hopes of rescuing a fair maiden from a cruel fate with a callous immortal.

ugh this is the cutest shit, and so very Fluttershy

“Do you want to get down? I didn’t really ask before I grabbed you,” Fontana murmured as she began to shift under her. “Sorry.”

bodily autonomy is important!

“I mean - I’ve never had somepony cross an entire realm and tell me that they came to - to whisk me away from a life of difficulty,” Fluttershy’s voice softened to the tiniest whisper at the end, and she finished it off with a tiny squeak.
That shit is much cuter in real life than it has any right to be, Fontana mused.

yeah i agree with you there, Fontana. that is some advanced cuteness

Fontana Beyoncé leaned close and pressed a tiny kiss to Fluttershy’s lips, and for a moment, she didn’t think about the season nine finale at all.

an amazing deconstruction/reconstruction of the HiE genre, full of truth and beauty. this is exactly the kind of story i had hoped to find coming to this website all those months ago. thank you so much for it

Apple Bottoms

Apple Bottoms #14 · Jan 1st, 2022 · 2 · ·

11103226
Thank you!

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