- Member Since 9th Feb, 2020
- offline last seen 40 minutes ago
PrinceOfDarkness
My favorite characters are Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle. I like writing Anon-A-Miss stories.
PrinceOfDarkness
Joined 9th Feb, 2020 ·
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Why are you remaking this story?
Damn, haven't read that story in a long time
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Zamairiac in his words, "Washed my hands with it." Meaning he doesn't wish to continue it anymore.
That broke my heart and I messaged him and asked him if he would let me rewrite his story, to which he did.
I have his permission.
Go ahead and ask him, he'll tell you the same thing.
I felt the story deserved a rewrite and continuation.
And so I have now completed phase one of my plan for this story.
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Zamairiac let me rewrite it, my friend.
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Alright, I read the description so I already knew about that.
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Same. I once pondered re-writing it, however, I didn't want to disgrace the original version.
So far, this is a pretty good story. I can't wait to see how you rewrite the rest of it. It has a good plot and I am a bit anxious to see what else you have planned for it.
Well this is an interesting start.
It still has a few of my original scenes in it, but from the second tiny chappy has changed enough from the original to be considered a remake. I'll be keeping an eye on this to see how it turns out.
Best of luck my friend.
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Thanks so much Zammy.
You inspired me to become a writer.
If anything, the remake of this story is a tribute to you as my writer mentor.
Zamairiac, is a classic round here. I am glad he's cool with someone continuing his story. Heck, I remember back when he was pumping out stories non-stop...oh what nearly a decade ago, lol. I look forward to seeing where this goes. Have a pleasant day, and march on my friend.
You forgot to add the human tag.
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Just added it.
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Sadly my life is simply busier than it was when I was a younger man.
Sucks.
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Trust me, I get that. Time is crazy like that. smh, I'm old now, truly a dark fate.
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You are my hero, Zamairiac.
You inspired me to become a writer, and so I thank you eternally for being a sort of mentor to me.
Just something I noticed. You have this one series twice.
"I'm going into the shower now." Celestia said slyly, looking back at Chris as he turned around and cocked an eyebrow.
"Try not to slip." He replied amusedly.
Celestia rolled her eyes at him and walked into her royal bathroom. Chris just about caught a slightly disappointed look on her face before the door shut and left him alone in the room.
"I'm going into the shower now." Celestia said slyly, looking back at Chris as he turned around and cocked an eyebrow.
"Try not to slip." He replied amusedly.
Celestia rolled her eyes at him and walked into her royal bathroom. Chris just about caught a slightly disappointed look on her face before the door shut and left him alone in the room.
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I've corrected it.
I know the convenience of plot plays in here but twilight could of pulled any of the billions of humans that live on earth.
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I'm honored, keep up the good work my friend
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I've added a twist to the story.
What do you think of the twist that Chris is Sunset's dad?
celestias eyes are not blue
Excellent work keep it up and i love Chris is sunset dad
Can't help but think of this:
I think it fits pretty well. The longing for love once lost is strong.
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Wow...
Zamairiac my friend, what do you think of the song for the story?
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I made that comment on the original story. Wasn't said in the best light, and I've always regretted it a bit. Seems to be an artefact from an honest mistake that's been held over, so I wouldn't worry about it too much.
Well I wasn’t expecting this but it certainly was a pleasant one. Can’t wait until it’s done
This feels like less of a rewrite and more of copy-paste, but its still the first chapter
I know that this story is old and all but how are you going to get around "the human brain only has capacity of 300 years worth of memories" thing
If you're wondering the "human brain can only hold three hundred years worth of memories" is a recent discovery this is why I refuse to write human characters that are immortal for the most part. You're going to have to address that problem at some point if you don't want to ignore it
a little error, luna was banished for 1,000 years, you even said so earlier now in this chapter "Chris, a few thousand years after Luna's banishment and your death," maybe it should be a few hundred?
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well the magic that renews the body and keeps it at age 21 could also take care of memories and the brain issue, need to remember it is fantasy/fiction
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Magic isn't renewing Chris's body. It was reborn but for it to work Chris had to be sent to Earth.
However, Chris's past memories were kept intact and were slowly returning to him as he grew up.
Chris doesn't possess magic, but Celestia and other ponies do.
Celestia merely placed a super powerful spell she created that went into his brain to keep the memories of their relationship and bond intact. Hence why Chris remembers her so easily.
Chris's body is now immortal because the spell activated once he came back home to Equestria.
Just to straighten things out.
i love this retelling . I also love that you made Chris Sunset's dad. Now both Celestia and Chris need to convince Sunset that it is the truth.
As for Sunset is it Pre-Rainbow Rocks or Pre-Friendship Games Sunset because those are two separate states of Sunset?
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After the Friendship Games.
After that event, the Elements of Harmony deem Sunset worthy of becoming an alicorn like her grandparents, aunt and mother.
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Chris's actual name is Crystal Justice, Chris is just his name shortened down.
And the idea of having Chris be Sunset's dad explains why she easily adapted to a human body when she went through the portal.
Rarity's gonna be a happy mare, I can tell.
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Why?
What exactly would make her a happy mare?
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Wedding dresses... For Princess Celestia herself(suit for Chris I guess), that's why.
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And maybe even Sunset.
This is good so far, and I can't wait to read more.
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Another plot twist for this story is that Chris/Crystal Justice has adoptive human parents back on Earth and they get brought to Equestria by Chris's worry for them and also because he has been learning magic from Twilight, Celestia, Luna and Cadence. Also, King Cosmos and Queen Galaxia will return.
I just want to say thank you all for all the helpful and kind comments on the story. I will try to improve the story and pay tribute to the original that is no longer being written.
I also want to thank you all for reading this story and being part of the journey in the story, being part of the events by reading them.
I might add a few of you guys as well as Zamairiac as guests in the story.
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ok if you choose me my pony OC is Twisted Dreams a Pegasus/Thestral. I have bat wings a pegasus body that is a light cyan blue with two different eye colors one purple and one cyan green with slit pupils Fluttershy's mane style that is a very light blue with a two-toned stripe down the middle that both red and light purple that flow together like one. She is a new recruit to Luna's Nightgaurd and is extremely loyal to Luna that is borders on worship BUT never overbearing enough to be annoying or fanatical. She has a Thestral mother but a Pegasus father.
Their names are Nightwatcher and Cerulean Sky. They both were Royal guards to both Sisters often doing swing shifts til "I" was born then Luna gave "my" mother time off to raise me and told my dad to work for her til "I" was old enough to take care of "myself" in my mom's place. When "I" got "my" Cutie Mark which is a Tornado with a thought bubble with Z's in it "I" was gifted a golden necklace with a symbol of an eye in it by Luna "I" was grateful to her that from that day forward "I" would work towards being the Captain of her personal guard. Both "my" parents and Princess Luna told "me" "If you truly want to achieve that goal you're going to need to work and study hard and start at the bottom as a recruit in her Lunar guard and prove yourself" "I" agreed and made recruit with one special privilege given by Luna herself "I" could keep wearing the necklace she gave "me" while in uniform as her guard as a constant reminder of "my" goal to be Captain of her Personal Guard.
There if you choose to have me a guest character i gave you my OC's name a vague backstory to make her a bit more a believable character in your story. If you need a visual aid look at my avatar pic next to this comment
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Eh my main character is an alternate version of Twilight if you decide to make Midnight Sparkle into her own separate character I can see my character taking up that role, give Sci-Twi an actual blood sister
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Aight. I’ve got a lot of OCs but my main one is a Pegasus In the military named karina lance (I’ve been experimenting with giving pony’s human names lately.) who’s at the top after some huge scandal. She’s kind of a wild card but she knows how to kick ass when she needs to and is very friendly when not in general mode. She’s also a wounded warrior, having done two tours in the griffon lands and being wounded during her second by a bomb when her convoy was ambushed. She received a distinguished service cross for her valiant efforts and is currently in canterlot now and is dating a new private who’s caught the still youngish mare’s eye.
I can elaborate more and add or remove certain details if you at to add her in at some point
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Rarity loves mushy romances and royalty.