• Published 29th Oct 2021
  • 562 Views, 15 Comments

A Murder Of Crows - Kaidan



Hitch needs help to keep the town free of litter after hundreds of new ponies move to Maretime Bay. He recruits some crows to help, causing disturbing nightmares, before the feathered vigilantes begin attacking the town.

  • ...
5
 15
 562

Prelude: The Birds

Hitch tossed and turned, noticing an uncomfortable chill, before his alarm clock finally went off to alert him to the start of another work day. His rest had been uneasy, and once he awoke he realized why he was so uncomfortable. The bed sheets were soaked with sweat, as was his fur, causing him to shiver as he tossed the comforter back to air out the mattress. There was a strong scent of the ocean in the room, and he looked over to see if he had left his window open last night. A black bird cawed at him before quickly flying away.

He got out of bed and got ready for his day. Hitch took a quick shower, ran a comb through his mane, and put on his bandolier and badge. By the time he was done, the majority of the dream was fuzzy at best. He could remember beautifully cut masonry and being deep underwater, but whatever panic had awoken him was forgotten. With a busy day ahead he had little time to linger in the apartment and worry about a bad dream.

A bell rang as Hitch entered the coffee shop that was below his apartment. The smell of fresh baked bread and coffee filled his nostrils as he surveyed the scene of ponies starting out their day. There were pegasi hanging out with a unicorn along the wall and a few earth ponies scattered throughout, all of whom were simply enjoying each other’s company and their morning joe.

“Good morning, Sheriff.” Dahlia smiled, the elderly mare getting a cup of coffee and bagel ready to go for him.

“Good morning, Dahlia.” He took a bite of the bagel and reached to get a few bits to pay.

“Oh what have I told you, it’s on the house. You’re the best tenant I’ve ever had, plus the best Sheriff the town’s had.”

He put his bits back into a small saddle bag attached to his bandolier, just large enough to hold some loose change. “Thanks, I appreciate it as always.”

She looked around before leaning over the counter and smirking. “You know, Flour’s in the back if you’d like me to get her so you can say hi. I dare say she’s got a bit of a crush on you since you restored magic to Equestria.”

“Mom!” Flour complained from the back room where she was baking some bread, the sound drawn out and a bit pouty.

“Can’t blame me for trying,” Dahlia called back. She turned back to Hitch and whispered a bit quieter. “Better settle down soon, Sheriff, before all the good mares get taken.”

“Sure thing.” Hitch nodded. He was used to several of the mares in town trying to encourage him to settle down. “Though I’m quite busy at the moment, more and more ponies are moving into town and the Sheriff’s office just isn’t big enough for the town anymore. That’s why I’ve been trying to expand.”

The gray unicorn over by the door waved, and Dahlia hurried over to refill their coffee, while still talking to Hitch. “Oh, must be why you went and got that assistant?”

“Yeah, and if this next class goes well I’m hoping to have a dozen deputies. I’m not sure how Sprout and I made it work for so long with just the two of us.”

Dahlia walked back by Hitch, giving another suspicious glance around. “Just be careful if you got your eye on that assistant, I hear a pegasus can hypnotize a stallion with their feathers.”

Hitch chuckled and gave her a smirk. “Don’t worry, that’s just an old mare’s tale.” he made his way to the door. “And don’t go telling too many old mare’s tales to everypony, we’re friends now.” He heard her mutter something about “young’uns” as the door closed behind him.

In front of him, a dark pink pegasus landed, with long blond hair. “Assistant Sheriff Dawn reporting!” She offered a salute with a wing.

“Assistant to the Sheriff,” Hitch corrected.

She rolled her eyes. “So what was it today? Horn lasers? Eating our young?” Dawn pointed a feather through the window to Dahlia.

“Something about hypnotizing feathers,” Hitch stated. “But to be fair, she’s nearly eighty and that’s a long time to be listening to propaganda.”

“Yeah, and so far everypony has been really nice.” She lifted a wing and fished a small notebook out of a pouch. “So today you’re expected to meet with Phyllis about bylaws for the new apartment complex. The last one just finished, and all fifty units are already occupied by new residents from Zephyr Heights and Bridlewood.”

Hitch began to walk down the road towards the Sheriff’s Office. It was only a block away, one of the reasons he’d chosen the apartment just above the bakery. “Alright. Are we still having problems with littering and graffiti?”

“Just littering,” she replied. “The graffiti stopped once we got all the old posters down about the other races.”

There was an excited bird call, and two seagulls flew by dropping some pastry wrappers into a trash can. The pair flew over to Hitch before landing and saluting. “Hey Edgar, Allen, how’s it going?”

The lead bird with the tin can on his head, Edgar, replied with several short sounds.

“That’s good, thanks.”

“Wow, you can understand them? That’s so cool,” Dawn stated.

Hitch smirked. He couldn’t understand them, he just liked to hold one side of the conversation to make other ponies think he could. Some ponies had caught on by now, but the new arrivals in Maretime bay had no idea. If they thought Hitch’s ability to make any animal be friendly towards him included talking to them, then he found they were much less likely to break any laws. Birds in particular liked nesting in the town, so there was always a pair of eyes that were available to Hitch for surveillance of any ponies with ill intent.

“That just leaves Clippy, oh there you are.” Hitch looked down to see the small crab trimming one of his fetlocks that had overgrown his hoof a bit.

“You know, if you had more of the critters on your team I bet they could help with the litter problem. At least until we get Canterlogic to install more trash cans, and ponies to be a bit less lazy,” Dawn explained.

Hitch thought it over while they resumed their walk towards the police station. The seaside town did have debris and trash wash onto the beaches occasionally, and there were dozens of street vendors given the excellent weather. All it took was a stiff breeze and some full trash cans, or a few ponies in a hurry, and trash would end up scattered across the roads. If he could spend less time chasing litterers, he could spend more time training deputies and working on more important cases.

“That’s a good idea, actually, but seagulls don’t generally seem too interested in helping out. Other than these three,” he gestured to the critters following him, “they prefer to spend their time fishing.”

“What about that one?” the assistant asked.

Hitch looked at the trash can in front of the Sheriff’s office, where a jet black crow sat.

“Caw.”

It met Hitch’s eyes and seemed to approve. “A crow? I haven’t seen one of those in town before, but I hear they’re quite clever. If only I had some more crows, we could probably trade shiny objects for their nest in exchange for them helping clean up the town.”

“Caw.” The crow nodded once and took off.

“What’d he say?”

Hitch rubbed his head as he thought something up. “Uh, I think it was hungry.”

Dawn opened the door to the station. “I think we’d better get training started for today, before your appointment. Sprout and the other trainees are already inside.”

“I have a feeling this is going to be a long day.” Hitch finished off his coffee and tossed it into the trash.


The meeting with Canterlogic ran longer than expected, though most meetings did. As soon as one pony began a presentation, every other pony in the room would have to get their two bits in. By the time a dozen ponies had gotten done agreeing with each other, hours had passed.

Hitch had made it a point to get Phyllis to promise to do better about keeping the Canterlogic grounds clean. Most of their waste got shipped out to an energy plant that could sort and recycle the trash, then burn the flammable waste for power. However, the employees were some of the worst offenders when it came to littering. The factory was surrounded by enough trash on his way to the meeting that Hitch was tempted to cite Phyllis on the spot, but she had been paying out of pocket to help restore the older parts of town and build new housing, so he let it slide.

When he got back outside again, he was very surprised to see all the litter was gone. In its place about a dozen crows had perched themselves on the street lights, the fence, and a few benches.

He went up to the nearest pair of crows. “Wow, you did all this?”

“Caw.”

“Thanks.” Hitch watched as the crow pecked in front of him. “Oh, I guess you want payment?”

“Caw.”

He fished out the bits from earlier that he’d try to pay for coffee with, and put them on the bench. Hitch also made a mental note to find some buttons or something a bit less valuable to give them next time.

The crows seemed to approve, flying over until they’d carried off all the shiny coins. He got glared at by a couple of the crows who hadn’t been rewarded with anything shiny, but they eventually took off after the flock as well.

As he walked back towards his apartment to relax for the rest of the day, Hitch noticed the town looked a little better already. A pair of crows were peeling off small heart-shaped stickers with unicorns and pegasi on them, most likely left by Sunny. Another set of crows seemed to be playing a game and dive-bombing a trash can, dropping the rubbish into the bins at the last second before soaring back up into the air.

On a few buildings, the crows would just sit on the edge, staring down over the wide streets as if daring somepony to miss the trash can. Whenever a pony would, a crow would take off like a missile to retrieve the trash and throw it away.

Hitch began to worry that if this kept up, he was going to run out of shiny rewards for the birds very quickly. He wondered what would happen if he couldn’t keep up his payments.

By the time he got home the sun was about to set, and he made himself a quick dinner. It was a small two-bedroom apartment and he kept most of his junk stored in the spare bedroom. Hitch was looking forward to a shower when he heard some pecking on one of the windows.

Hitch went into his bedroom and opened the window, where several crows were perched in a small planter that hung out of the window. A cactus in the planter was the only plant Hitch had managed to grow so far without dying. In the soil next to the plant were several bits and baubles.

“Oh, what’s this?” Hitch asked the nearest crow.

“Caw.”

He got a small cup and began to transfer the most interesting bits of trash the crows had gathered that day into it. A knitting needle, some buttons, a couple bright silver fishing lures, some vintage pony cola bottle caps, and a couple ten bit coins.

“Wow, thanks. Keep up the good work,” Hitch said.

The crows gave him one of those infatuated looks as if they’d fly into a hurricane for him, before taking off to seek out more wrongdoers. Hitch realized he might need to leave them a few trinkets at payment, so he went into the junk drawer in his kitchen. He got out some paper clips, assorted screws, and a few loose coins just to be safe. If they kept delivering him ten bits for every bit he paid them to pick up litter, Hitch might be on the way to an early retirement in a much larger apartment.

Once he got back to the window, he left the shiny objects in the planter for the crows to pick up overnight, then closed the window.

Outside as the sun set over the water, the brickwork making up the street shone orange. Ponies walked along the clean sidewalks, and in the gutters there was not a single wrapper, straw, or lid. A group of fillies were feeding some popcorn to some of the crows, and one bird even let the young pony pet its head.

Hitch was grateful to see the town clean and everypony happy. Taking care of Maretime bay had been more than a job, it had been his life, from sun up to sun down every day. With more ponies moving to town every day that meant he’d have fewer hours to himself every day. Hitch was optimistic, however, because with the new residents came these crows from further inland. Between them, and the new deputies, he might be able to cut his hours back and find more time to spend with his friends.

Hitch straightened up his bed before folding down the comforter and climbing in. He hadn’t heard from Sunny in a couple days due to how busy he’d been. Perhaps he could visit her tomorrow, if his assistant had left any time open for him during the day. Maybe they could invite some friends out on a fishing trip. Hitch smiled as he recalled memories of his parents and the old fishing boat they used to take him out on, before he discovered his talent for protecting ponies. It was still moored in the marina, though it was no longer seaworthy, since he had stopped taking it out to fish a decade ago.

Some crows landed near the window, but they seemed to be keeping the volume down. He couldn’t tell if they were picking up his gift, or leaving their own for him to find in the morning. His mind continued to wander, slowing down gradually, until finally he fell asleep.


“Caw. Caw. Caw.”

Hitch hit his alarm clock and rolled over to try and snooze another fifteen minutes. He always slept in on Tuesdays, because it seemed like nothing good ever happened on a Tuesday.

“Caw. Caw. Caw.”

He rolled over and hit the alarm again harder this time before the birds resumed their noise-making.

Hitch grumpily muttered a few obscenities before getting out of bed and looking out his window. Several crows had dropped off more “shiny trash” for him to deal with. They flew off once they got a good look at his unamused face. A quick look at the pristine town helped soothe his grumpiness at waking up early again.

The window creaked as it opened, and the small mountain of treasure shifted and poured through the window. There were small children’s toys, a couple laminated trading cards, and even Sprout’s deputy badge.

He went to fetch his trash can to more quickly throw all of this stuff out. With one hoof he began scooping all the things out of the planter. It only took a minute until he could see his cactus again, and after a couple minutes he had gotten almost all of the crow’s offerings out.

The last thing he saw in there he couldn’t identify at first. He knew what it looked like, but that couldn’t be possible. He felt a pit in his stomach as he took the item in his hoof and rubbed some of the dirt off.

One of the crows had left a severed eyeball in the planter.