A few years had passed, and after too many disappointments, the Cutie Mark Crusaders group has fallen apart. The fillies abandoned hope in getting their cutie marks by constantly trying something new, and instead followed the path of standard, boring careers. Their lives are about to take a big twist as they get on track of a serious crime.
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WAAAAAT
*leans in further towards computer* more please.
1254297
More incoming, as I am technically writing the second chapter right now
Just one grammar nazi report: "Physical activeness" should be "physical activity"
Other than that I'm roped in already. Engaging introduction to the characters circumstances. Good work.
1254339
Actually, activity is rather used to describe a thing you do.
Activeness is a word that means devoting to doing certain stuff (but activity fits here as well).
According to Wordnet Dictionary: Activeness - the trait of being active, the state of being active
The Webster's Dictionary of English: Activeness - (n.) The quality of being active; nimbleness; quickness of motion; activity.
And thanks for the kind words. I'll do my best to make it excellent!
oh my celestia that was good. at the end i was like
Blue feathers? BLUE FEATHERS???? Rainbow, do you have something you'd like to share with the class?
X, you're being insane to jump to conclusions like that before further investigation. I mean really? Is RD the only pegasus that is that shade of blue? and is not possible that RD could have just been flying by, heck, she could have been trying to save the victim from the really murderer.
Yeah, but-
Let's just wait and see what the author has in store for us, okay?
Fine. But I'm still keeping my assumptions ready with a big fat told you so if I'm right!
Same to you my friend, same to you.
This thing dead? Shame, I was looking forward to it.
1469557
No. It's not dead.
I'm moving to a new place and don't have much time or space to write. The second chapter is already done, but still waiting for a proofread (I guess my proofreader is busy too). The third one is almost written - I need one session to finish it.
No dislikes yet?.............*dislikes anyway*
megageek.sitew.com/fs/Root/82uuy-u_mad_troll_face_c20ad4d76fe97759aa27a0c99bff6710_5.gif
1520814
A story without a dislike is crippled. A little red bar adds just the right touch.
Yahoo! It's here!
So, Rainbow Dash and Spitfire had a fight over... something. Rainbow appears to have been at a disadvantage at some point, but ultimately turned the tables on her attacker, leaving her dead.
Also, Scootaloo and Applebloom are in a lot of trouble. (For crying out loud just get the police already Applebloom!)
...oh wait, then we wouldn't have a story.
Please don't get the police Applebloom!
Now it's not so much something to bring to the police as it is to bring to Princess Celestia. Gripping stuff.