Rag Doll

by No one is home

Ladybug, Chapter 8: I Know You

“Well, one of us got us arrested.” I’m not being judgemental, I am just stating facts. “I’m honestly surprised it actually wasn’t me.”

“Relax Uncle. The petal mare can take you into custody any time she wants. You didn’t even ask me about that deal.” OC is enjoying this too much. “And we can leave anytime I want. I have single hoofed solved our ‘homeless’ problem.”

“You know I can hear you right?” The decidedly blue pegasus decides to chime in. How is suddenly being blue since you were born for the rest of your life working out for you? She bows up and for a moment I think she might do something incredibly stupid. “I’m right here!”

“I mean you’re not wrong… and staying with Rosie is right out. His conspiracy shrine is creepy, I don’t care how legit it is. He has pictures of one of my tea parties with Gloomy when she was like twelve…” I’m kinda hanging off her head like a hat. Actually being used to riding on a hat, I kinda feel like a giant. Playing hat amuses me.

“That was a weird picture.” She rises on her hind-most legs and flails her plushy four fore-legs awkwardly. That’s what I love about OC, she just comes out and says the out loud part quiet, with maximum flailing.

“Yeah… I feel the need to point out that I had no motor functions back then.” Because she’s right, that is a weird picture. Lil’ Gloomy was getting all smoochy. Rosie is on my permanent list. I don’t care that he was watching me and not her. That was a horrifically embarrassing moment between a filly and her doll that I am unfortunately too immortal to live down.

“Uncle believed he could use me. He’s an ALMIGHTY CURSED JINX DOLL!” Have you ever tried to cling to a shape-changing-insectoid-equine’s head when she decided to go full noodle arms. My parkour skills are sick. Not the most appropriate time to point that out, I know. “He’s SO sentient. And he’s SO dangerous. Ask him how using me turned out! If there’s any one thing Uncle ever told me that was true, it’s that I’m in charge.”

“I can promise you that it has not worked out very well for me!” As I cling to OC’s bare plushy head like my life probably does depend on it, I am desperate enough to tell the truth. “OC, please calm down. You’re kinda flinging me about and scaring the hell out of me right now…”

“You are afraid, Ocilia Ladybug.” Jenny waves her weird cloven hooves like she’s being placating in the uncanny valley “This is a natural state of being. You have just learned that you have always been watched. You are right to be afraid. You only know the first, shallowest layer from which you are being observed. There is much Ragdoll Charlie isn’t telling you.”

“My name isn’t Charlie.” Absolutely zero creatures who are allowed to call me that are present, but I’ve been putting up with it for quite awhile now. I am the paragon of patience.

“I apologize.” The goat colored nag has the nerve to try and kiss up to me. “You rarely featured in the classic myths. ‘Ragdoll Charlie’ is the only name we have for you.”

“‘Ragdoll Charlie’ is commonly what outsiders have called him, according to the stories of the underhive.” OC pulls me off her head and holds me out like we’re playing show and tell. “The Rag Doll doesn’t have a name. Our First Queen called him ‘Charlie’. No one knows why. I call him by the honorific title of ‘Uncle’, because he is a respected elder and it would be disrespectful to call him by a name I just made up.”

“We know him differently, you’re majesty.” The sky blue pegasus that better appreciate that she’s not a pink unicorn is making arm waves. I don’t care what she has to say.

“What do you supposedly ‘know’? I’ve seen your so called ‘history’.” I have to admit, with OC holding me up like this I can flail with all four limbs at a time, and I like it. “You’ve got a bunch of old stories from before magic shut down by some earth pony… maybe pegsus? You don’t know and I don’t, either! So by all means illuminate how well you know me.”

I’m somewhat surprised that it’s Rose Thorn that speaks first.

-=-=-=-=-

Twenty years ago, I was a rookie constable in Brindlewood whe a little filly wander off and got lost in the wilderness. We searched for three days, before everypony resigned themselves to the worst when we lost her trail at the chasm that separates Bridlewood from Zephyr heights. There was no known route across the gorge before Izzy’s Bridge, and to be honest we lost our nerve in sight of the pegasus city.

Two days later, little Gloomy Sonet simply wandered back into the village. She was frightened, haunted even, but neither malnourished, nor physically harmed in any way. We thought it was a miracle. After that, the then young owner of the Crystal Tea House took particular interest in both the filly and the tattered ragdoll she returned with.

Having been one of the ponies to lead the failed search, it always bothered me. How did this little slip of a filly survive five days in the wilderness and return no worse for wear than if she had simply had a lively camping night by the creek with her friends? What’s more, she claimed to have found the ragdoll at the base of the mountain. How did she cross the gorge? Twice?

After that, everypony just kinda assumed she talked to her doll to cope with the trauma of her ordeal. But I started noticing, none of us could hear it but her doll was talking right back to her. One minute you were talking to a filly, the next minute she was clearly repeating what a trusted adult told her to say… in response to that exact moment. She was a foal with an adult antena riding on her head listening to all the grown ups talking and telling her which parts to listen to. The classic myths were never popular in Bridlewood, Mr. Ragdoll. I have no idea what you supposedly did in some ancient legends. I only know you with respect to a lost unicorn filly twenty years ago.

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[Booster Spice]

Someone still trying to make things go their way, but like the squid, not realising their reality has been changed in return?