• Published 28th Oct 2021
  • 2,065 Views, 113 Comments

Lead Us Not - AuroraDawn

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Comments ( 46 )

Well, um… that's unfortunate, to say the very least.

And so it ends. Sunny's gone, as are the others of the Mane 5 (except Pipp, I believe. So... that's good ?) and maybe the rest of the world, given Twilight's out now. The future probably ain't that sunny (eh), especially this gen doesn't have elements of harmony and all that.

But hey, that's the characters problem ! :ajsmug:
Me, I enjoyed the ride, and this last chapter had my heart pumping during what I knew was a noble, if futile, last stand from all of Sunny's (former) friends. That's what true friends are : people who try to stop ya when you make a mistake.

Nice dark fic for the G5. Here's to all the futures ones to come !:pinkiecrazy:

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Thank you! I really appreciated all your comments throughout the journey. I'm glad you enjoyed~

This is what you call grim ending, one hell of grim ending, I must say.

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Hey, thanks ! I'm kinda new to the fandom (Started watching G4 around a year ago, during the great lockdown), and I discovered all the fanworks later, including RF and it's sequels. When I saw you associated with Remedy (of which I loved "And Hell Followed"), I was hyped. I missed on all the construction of G4 fandom. I saw the G5 fics start to pop up, and read those as they came by. I couldn't miss on what could be, in some form, the flagship of G5 grimdark stories, could I ? :ajsmug:

It was a great ride. Can't wait to take the next one !

I would flip my table right now....but I don't want to get fired.

Holy crap this was good.
I'm pissed off and I'm happy about it. Damn.:pinkiecrazy:

I wasn't expecting a happy ending, but that nightmare....that wasn't expected either.:twilightoops:

I'm gonna go try and find something happy now. :pinkiehappy:

Well, that's just about the bleakest possible ending for a story like this. But then, it wouldn't be a grimdark tale if it ended any other way, now would it?:ajsmug:

Fantastic writing and wonderful storytelling throughout. I especially enjoyed how well you were able to convey everypony's panic and desperation at the end, particularly Sunny's manic ramblings of how she needed to get Her out.
And while I feel the ending is quite sudden, I feel it's appropriate. Now our minds are left to fill in the gaps of what happens next. And with how genocidal Twilight has become, it's certainly nothing good.

Take a bow, Aurora and Baero, you've knocked it out of the park again, and have left your mark on the G5 horror scene already.

Happy Halloween, everyone! :pinkiecrazy:

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Cheers, thank you so much!

Resu #9 · Oct 31st, 2021 · · 1 ·

You did it again Aurora. Here I am thinking that we are getting started with a long story. Nope, everything wrapped up in one chapter. You've pulled the same trick with Reckoning.

As a Pipp fan I disapprove of the little pone abuse. You didn't even mention her by name in the whole fic.

As to the fic itself, I don't feel it. Big part of it is character interpretation. The movie lasted only for 2h so the way I see all those characters is different. But for the other part, the story is a little too much. A skeletal looking abomination invades your nightmares. Ooohhh, spoooky!

I really liked the line "the magic was not yours to give", wish you expanded on this idea more. It has a lot of potential that was not used here.

I have no idea what you've been aiming for with this fic. It feels like Rainbow Factory 2.0, but without the absurdity involved. Comparing grinding up kids into rainbows vs... letting a demon out of its prison.

Sorry for all the negativity, but I expected something grander, and you ignored Pipp :flutterrage:/10

I just hope someone makes a comic of this, that would be great.

I expected no less from the creator of one of the best horror-based MLP stories and my favorite: "Rainbow Factory" (Fuck You Cupcakes)

PS: I don't think there is any sequel, Equestria is screwed without some kind of protection. because what a bad ending for the G5 characters.

unhinged princess

unhinged princess, UNHINGED PRINCESS, I TOLD YOU TWILIGHT WENT BATSHIT BONKERS,

Unhinged:

adjective

  1. mentally unbalanced; deranged.
    "the violent acts of unhinged minds"

Dark but fun (also i'd kinda expect a tragedy tag for this, just saying)
I didn't realize until it was over that you're Aurora Dawn of Rainbow Factory fame - great to see old names who are still in the fanbase, and who are still creating new material :twilightsmile:
The irony is Twi totally had the magic to save the rest of the mane 6... Oh well. Thanks for making this :twilightsheepish:

This all felt ended very abruptly and seemed very hurried towards the end. It was a great story but almost all of the buildup happened quickly and ended in what felt like a blink. I loved it but that's just my personal opinion.

100% pure unfiltered grim dark. :twilightsmile:

Well that's going to be a Summer Sun Celebration no pony forgets, until there's no pony left alive to remember it. As much as I would have loved to see more, I think good horror shows just enough and leaves the rest to imagination.

You nailed it here and showed just enough to set the stage for how unspeakably horrible Sunny's mistake was, then left us to imagine the fallout. Plus Sunny got the worst ending possible. I'm not sure anyone could imagine a worse fate for Sunny.

Congratulations to you, BaeroRemedy, AFanaticRabbit, and WritingSpirit for working together to create this masterpiece.

Meh, would have prefered the story stayed into the psychological horror and not the lame gorefest. Ending was pretty rushed and meh too, Chapter 1-4 are great tho and had potential but this just seems mediocre.

Hot diggity DAMN!! The Grimdark legend returns to traumatize a whole new generation. I can't wait for the songs that come outta this.

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Entire story summed up in one picture

Definitely thought it was gonna be on the longer side, but I still enjoyed it. Evil!Twilight was definitely the highlight and you've gotten really good with buildup. Looking forward to more grimdark from you.

I love the way the cover art evolved as the story got darker and darker. First time I’ve seen that :twilightsmile:

Dang, this was a real bad ending for the new gang…loved each version of the cover art.
Was semi hoping that Sunny and the rest would manage to maybe get through to Twilight but the second I saw what happened to Hitch I knew there was no saving it.

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Same here, I only got into MLP a few weeks after old Miss Rona showed up (although I started by reading the grimdark stuff before watching the show). I had no idea that this was written by the same person who wrote Rainbow Factory until after I finished the first chapter.
But enough rambling. This was a great story. Here's to a New Generation of terror :pinkiecrazy:

The only thing that would of made this better if twilight hadn't destroyed the crystals and then equestria would be stuck in a looping purgatory

Also now that the story is complete what happened to the other princesses

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No idea but I like to believe they put their souls into the Sun and Moon which is why they just work normally now

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Okay so they are just both in a coma

Well, I think my early chapter assessment was correct. This is definitely solid gold.

While I would’ve liked the story to be longer, that ending’s quite terrifying. Sunny just awakened an elder god and now the world’s going to pay for it.

I very much enjoyed the story, and I feel this is going to traumatize plenty of people like *Rainbow Factory* did a decade ago.

I'm normally not a fan of grimdark stories but I gotta say I do appreciate the pure horrific irony of this story.

By restoring magic and reuniting the three pony tribes Sunny thought she was restoring harmony to Equestria, instead she ended up dooming the entire world.

Well done writers!
derpicdn.net/img/2017/4/15/1412337/full.gif

This video sums up how I feel after this ending...

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But seriously, this is another grimdark masterpiece. Well done!!!

Ooof... Ooooooofffffff!!!!!! That was amazing!!!!!! So mf good. Oh man, that ending was phenomenal! I was shocked when Sunny actually killed Hitch, and it went absolutely crazy from there. I really enjoyed the structure of this story. The length, the pacing, they're just right, and it was very satisfying to see all the pieces of the puzzle come together. Simply fantastic read.

That went from 0-100 real fast on that last chapter. But it was real good from start to finish.

I really enjoyed the story, however I felt like some things were never truly explained, for example:
-why were the other tribes separated?We saw that they used the crystals to defeat Twilight, and then?
-about Twilight:I think her"madness"is a bit unjustified.Considering she is very smart/logical, I think she expected that her friends will die one day.I think she is capable enough to understand what "immortal" means
-wasn't Sunny more like a catalyst?It wasn't like she stole the power, right?The crystals gave it to her

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-The tribes knew if they reunited the crystals then Twilight could be released, and so as a precaution they went their separate ways with them. Over time the reasoning for this was forgotten, but the fear of reuniting remained.

-Sure, but like, Starlight Glimmer was content to literally rewrite time and leave Equestria a barren wasteland because her only friend left her, and he was still alive. Luna went insane because she didn’t feel appreciated enough, and tried to murder her sister and plunge the world into eternal darkness.

Unicorns aren’t the most stable characters in My Little Pony, especially the powerful ones. I can see Twi going mad with grief.

-she was unfortunate enough to be the conduit Twilight could act through. It was her fault it activated, ultimately releasing Twilight.

That was MOST enjoyable. Awesome work, the final chapter came out of nowhere.

That was a good story. Celestia really messed up when she picked such a crazy pony as a successor.

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ah, and sorry for the late reply, just saw it now, :) also, how much from a scale from 1 to 100 did this Tiwlight lose her mind? 1 is a little, 100 is acts of Genocidal so horrific that the Holocaust killing at the freaking concentration camp auschwitz looks tame in comparison.

If you were to ask me how I thought this story would end, I would've responded with something about a great confrontation between Sunny and Twilight in the void, about how friendship triumphed, and about how Equestria was starting to come back into itself again. I would never have guessed that the worst possible outcome would be the one this story ended on. Not the worst in the sense that it was written poorly, because the skill of the writers comes through in full when reading through this, but rather, the worst, most violently bleak outcome for ponykind.

On that note, I want to put some distance between the ending and the other places this piece shines. For one, the pacing and characterizations were phenomenal! There wasn't a moment where something wasn't happening, the story wasn't being progressed, or the characters weren't being written as though they were plucked straight from the movie and dropped into this twisted scenario. Moreover, for every action taken throughout this piece, it seems as though there was another made on the reverse side. Each movement Sunny made, the malevolent husk of Twilight made one of her own.

That said, when speaking of Sunny and Twilight the thing that shimmers like polished gold is the strong emotions presented in either case. Sunny's utter and complete exhaustion was described in impeccable detail, and it hearkens back to times in my life where I've been so tired and so sleep-deprived, that I didn't recognize myself in the mirror. However, with this fatigue came optimism and determination, something that isn't directly stated in the story, but something that I found myself adoring all the same through my reading, and only added to my fascination with the way feelings were written.

In Twilight's case, some might criticize you for writing a cliche kind of villain, one who is unreasonable and deranged, but overall diluted and could be better written. To that, I disagree. Twilight is deranged and evil, yes, but we must remember that she isn't illogical, she's merely inconsolable. Everything fell apart around her when her friends died one after another, and she didn't simply lose her faculties and go on a genocidal rampage. She logically deduced that there were two paths before her: She could either keep making friends only to lose them again or, destroy any friendships altogether and spare herself and everypony that suffering. Whether or not the choice is obvious (it's definitely better to make new friends than literally destroy the planet) doesn't matter, because it's not the one Twilight made. I set out to prove that Twilight isn't needlessly cruel, or a poorly written antagonist, only one who is severely, terribly misguided by a twisted sense of logic.

What we have at the end of this, is a stunningly dark piece that is built entirely of emotions, brick by brick through both the charming and invigorating interactions of Sunny and her friends, and the grueling misery of Twilight's torment and Sunny's mental state shattering, until there stands a lighthouse with a black and red beam, blood and gore staining its foundation, as the finished product.

I truly enjoyed this piece, Aurora, it was a blast to read. On a more personal note, I really must stress how I loved the sudden and violent tone shift at the end. It really felt like the whole piece was building to that most sinister climax, and the payoff and descriptions of carnage were exceptional. I really must read more of your work if this is the quality I'm to expect! Truly, truly exemplary!

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-The tribes knew if they reunited the crystals then Twilight could be released, and so as a precaution they went their separate ways with them. Over time the reasoning for this was forgotten, but the fear of reuniting remained.

Don't remember it in the fic. If it was an intended mystery, then it was too mysterious. There was no link between supposed racial conflict from the movie and banishing evil Twilight, and no accents on that there was no any actual racial conflict. It's like... AU? And makes the movie's plot and lore even more stupid in that its conflict is about nothing.

-Sure, but like, Starlight Glimmer was content to literally rewrite time and leave Equestria a barren wasteland because her only friend left her, and he was still alive. Luna went insane because she didn’t feel appreciated enough, and tried to murder her sister and plunge the world into eternal darkness.

Unicorns aren’t the most stable characters in My Little Pony, especially the powerful ones. I can see Twi going mad with grief.

Starlight tried to rewrite time to avenge for destroying her utopia which she built because her friend left, while also proving that M6's cutie mark based magical friendhip is not so special. Luna went on generic you-re-going-to-love-me with forcing to watch her accomplishments of the night sky and usurping an overshadowing sister's throne. While there... Twilight blatantly states that "All shall hurt as I did" (from M5 dying) and proceeds to tear off horns and wings as if there was some racial issue. Wouldn't she at least try to remove emotions instead of going for genocide, like Starlight removed individuality?

Or even better, try to save M5 in the first place. There is a scene with one of them on life support, but it seems to be all mundane, and Twilight just accepts this. Why? I don't ask to make her succed, I ask to make her try. Even "it is impossible because magic" explanation for proceeding to angst would be fine. Otherwise it looks like a cheap way to write about accepting something inevitable (death), but with main character not affected by it (immortal). Like, it's there, it's possible, but everypony acts like it's not.

Same cheapness feels in "M5 restored racial unity, but suddenly random evil thing is linked to the crystals because I need a plot twist" part. Why merge Elements? Is it even possible? Why they made racial magic disappear if they were about friendship and virtues and stuff like that? How can Twilight's pharse "That magic was not yours to give" refer to the Sunny's wings and horn? Isn't it supposed to be about the magic she gave to everypony?

Holy crap....that was amazing! Finally got around to finish reading this and I'm glad I did. Amazing!

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You're welcome; it was a great story!:twilightsmile:

“This is how an Alicorn hoops,” she sang, gently tossing her head back and lobbing the mass of Unicorn towards the rocks and waves below.

Truly, this is the next 'cupcakes', now complete with the weird character-themed corpse defiling

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