The Godking is NOT Amused

by Zemez

Wedding Announcements are not amusing

The Room Luna had set him up in was even more luxurious than the bedroom he once had as a mortal king. She had shown him the room, including the facilities when asked. He was surprised at this plumbing the ponies had invented. Luna knew little about it except it was only common in the bigger cities of Equestria.

"So why do you use thou and thees, along with referring to yourself in the majestic plural? I doubt you are speaking for your kingdom when you converse with me."

she looked embarrassed to have it called out, and he vaguely wondered if he shouldn't have asked the question.

"we- I am still adjusting to life a thousand years later. And occasionally slip into archaic dialect." she kicked the carpet lightly.

"I did not mean to cause embarrassment, I did not know that the Majestic Plural was considered archaic here. I have not been using it since I can no longer speak for all that I rule over while here." he nodded towards the bed in the room. "I suppose I should try to sleep."

"oh!" she seemed startled from her embarrassment at that. "Apologies, we will attend to our duties and let you get some rest."

She closed the door behind her as he turned towards the bed... He hadn't slept for a thousand years, he barely even knew if he could anymore. He'd have to improvise.

He first tried laying on his back, but that both pinched his wings and was uncomfortable since his wings kept his body around half a foot off the bed. He then tried to lay on his stomach, which let his wings hang off the side of the bed. His armor still made it slightly uncomfortable, but it would do.

He tried closing his eyes, but he was still wide awake and aware. He tried thinking about dreaming... Still nothing.

He sighed and sat up. While he resolved to actually live his life here on Equestria. Perhaps he was trying to act too 'mortal'. He didn't actually need sleep, but he had imagined dreaming might be a novel experience.

He opened his door, still having no idea where he was in the castle. He sought out a nearby servant, but they always seemed to disappear around a corner before he managed to get their attention.

He thought that was odd, but didn't dwell more on it before he found himself in front of the throne room once more, the dark night covering the room in a different motif.

The door was open with Luna sitting on the throne. She seemed bored out of her mind, and he could relate, he had done the same for nearly eight hundred years.

She looked up as his boots clanked against the floor.

"We thought thou was going to sleep?" She said, curious surprise in her voice.

"Majestic plural again Luna." He warned her. "But I do not actually require sleep, I merely had some epiphanies earlier today and had lost myself for the moment. You seem to have few petitioners, mind if I sit in?"

"We- I would not mind Veretus. Your company would be welcome... Few ponies come to me for help regardless." Her ears drooped near the end of her sentence. Veretus pretended to wipe some dirt or grime off the steps leading up to the thrones before sitting down.

"Have you tried being proactive in helping your subjects?" He finally questioned.

"Proactive? How would helping ponies who do not come to me for help ingratiate myself towards them?"

He chuckled at that. "Because your subjects are unsure on if you are a good ruler."

"Why wouldst they think we are a bad ruler?" She whined sadly.

"It is not that they think you are a bad ruler, it is that they are unsure of your capabilities, from what I can infer, Celestia has been helping your subjects for millennia, while you have barely been ruling for a year in their eyes." He sighed as memories of his own kingship returned to the forefront.

"When I became king, many of my subjects were reluctant to rely on me. Even though I was already a public figure known to most of them. So I rolled up my sleeves and asked my advisors what issues needed to be taken care of. I then went on to sign a peace accord with another kingdom over a war of petty significance, and thereby solving a food shortage."

"Then what do you suggest w- I do?"

He looked at her, thinking. He didn't know much about Equestria, but he doubted that they had any serious issues like his original kingdom.

"A holiday."

"Pardon?" She replied to his sudden thought.

"You need a holiday. Perhaps one after yourself and what you stand for. Every citizen, even those directly under you, enjoys a reason to celebrate with family and friends."

"Ah..." She looked reluctant. "There is already such an event coming up in a few short moons... It is called nightmare night."

Hmm, he could sense some tension behind that name... "Like nightmare moon?"

She merely nodded in confirmation and he could understand that sentiment. They had made a holiday out of her biggest moment of weakness and self-doubt.

He paused, thinking why he cared if this affected her so much... Even his two companions, Greesh and Kardak did not take up any of his empathy, the little that he had.

Then again, Greesh and kardak were mortal, and never really were anything but. They didn't know how it felt to truly fall from grace, how it felt to have all those eyes judging your every action.

But Luna... She had become Nightmare Moon, she had given in to her self-doubt and fear like him. While most of their lives were different, they both had come back from the brink of madness somehow.

"I... Will not make you attend such festivities, Luna. Mortals can be cruel with their coping mechanisms."

"No, It was my sister who invented the holiday for the ponies. Nightmare moon... I had terrorized many of them in my moment of weakness. She needed some way to lessen the pain I had caused." Luna sighed into her hoof. "You are correct Veretus, I should attend."

"We, Luna." He corrected her.

"But you said not to use- unless, you wouldst attend with me?" She looked at him with surprise.

"I will admit it is partly for selfish reasons... I have never participated in a holiday in an unofficial capacity..."

"We shall have much merriment together!" She clapped her hooves together, a smile on her face.

The room descended into a semi-awkward silence, he supposed she was waiting for an affirmative, or perhaps a cheer. But he was unused to this line of conversation and was unsure what to say or do.

The silence was broken by the sound of nervous walking. He could tell since the rhythmic sound of the pony's steps occasionally missed a beat. Both of them turned towards the entrance of the throne room, there, a dark blond stallion stood. His face conveyed how nervous he was as he walked in. They waited until the stallion reached the bottom of the raised platform the thrones were placed upon.

The pony did pause for a second when he had finally noticed Veretus. The god was impressed when he did little more than shake his head and bow towards princess Luna.

"Y- your Majesty... I-" he nearly whispered.

"Please speak louder our- my subject, so I might hear-"

"Luna!" Veretus spoke. his voice quieter than the mare's, who had blown the tapestries sideways with the force of her voice, but it echoed in both of the pony's ears and minds. "That is not how you command a subject's attention."

He felt tempted to make a joke, but this was now no longer a private conversation. Luna was the night-time diarch of Equestria, and she must appear so to her subjects and servants. While he had completely gone against that by interrupting her, he had to nip this habit of yelling at her subjects in the bud, not only would it not work for the ponies, who by nature are skittish, it would not have even garnered respect if this exact situation happened with ponies being replaced by mortals from his own reality.

"Speak firmly but gently. your subjects rely upon you for not only the land they live on, but as a leader, an inspiration, and a foe. Shouting at them, unless addressing an enemy, or a large crowd, only has them see you as a foe." Veretus spoke from experience. He had been royalty since he was first created, and these lessons were implanted firmly in the deepest reaches of his soul.

"I- ahem." Luna interrupted herself from speaking back to Veretus, focusing her attention on the pony underneath, not more confused than scared. "We apologize for the ungraceful bearing we have caused. Please, speak up so we might solve thy plight."

Veretus nodded as he noted her posture. She sat up straight, straight for a quadruped at least, her hooves firmly planted, her body relaxed as if this pony could do naught to harm her, not that he probably could anyways, but ready to spring up into combat if such an event happened. Her words were spoken gently, but not firmly, he would not fault her for slipping back into the majestic plural, it was an appropriate time to do so after all.

"Princess luna..." The stallion started off weakly, no doubt confused as to what had happened. "I had waited all day in your sister's court to resolve this before she abruptly ended her court early."

Luna gave Veretus a sideways glance, most likely knowing the reasons why.

"I've come here from Pinehoof to ask for help on an ownership issue. I've a plot a land that nopony in town has disputed was mine, so five years ago I built a well on it, it's what I use to water my crops when the weather team doesn't schedule any rain for several days."

This time Veretus looked at luna with an inquisitive glance, scheduling rain? That was as strange to him as modern mannerisms were to her. The stallion continued on, no longer paying attention to his audience of two so riled up was he.

"Then some mare by the name of Golden Carrot comes in and apparently buys the land the well is sitting on! Then she has the nerve to refuse letting me use it! My crops haven't been watered in a week your majesty, and no rain is scheduled for another! It'll take weeks to build a new well, and by then all my crops for this season will be small and unripe!"

The stallion was panting, his rage forgotten as he shrunk back, realizing he had just yelled at his princess. Truly, Veretus was looking towards Luna, waiting for what she would do. He did not know Equestrian laws.

"We will deliberate on this matter. In the meantime, we shall have one of our guards requisition a cloud for a light rain on your farm. Will you require accommodations while you spend the day?"

The stallion bowed and took Luna's offer of accommodations. Although Veretus didn't see why she needed to deli-

"We do not know equestrian policy on this." Luna turned to Veretus and spoke after the stallion closed the throneroom doors behind him.

"I do not know why you are looking at me, I am more out of time than you are." He said plainly.

"But are you not a god, can't you just simply know?" She spoke to him in a whining voice.

"No Luna, I am not the god of laws. You will have to learn how everyone else learns, through study. Or asking a legal counselor"

"Legal counselor? Oh, yes, I believe Tia has called them lawyers." She nodded sagely, like remembering this tidbit of information was her lifelong achievement.

"...Tia?" Veretus questioned.

"Oh, mine sister's nickname I have given her. I believe in private company she calls me Lulu."

Veretus shook his head, they had gone off track.

"We must aquire one of these lawyers to attend to us." Veretus steered them back onto conversation.

"I do not believe that to be difficult, we shall have one of our guards aquire one."

So it was in the morning hours that Written Ink was rudely awakened by three ponies with bat wings and fangs and promptly escorted to the castle too scared to ask anything, worried that he had performed some terrible deed accidently. It was then that he was left at the throneroom door, alone and confused except told that, "they are waiting on you."

He deliberated just turning away and going back to his comfy bed. But when he thought of those fangs and batlike wings...

So he tentatively opened the doors to find... Princess luna, and some bipedal furless creature in full armor with a large mass of wings. Both of them we conversing too silently for him to hear all the way where he was.

He took slow steps Inside. He knew that he was being silly, that princess Celestia had announced her sister's redemption, but the bipedal creature she had not. Was Luna truly consorting with demons like the contemporary controversial newspapers were spouting?

Before he knew it, Written ink stood infront of the two beings, their eyes were focused on him as he felt it was an eternity before Luna spoke.

"We have summoned you here today to ask a question on a seemingly unlawful practice."

He began sweating even more, what had he done!? Wait, she said seemingly, perhaps he could claim that he didn't know-

"A farmer has built a well on unowned property, and five years after, a mare has come and bought the property from the town and refuses to let him use the well. Is there anything this stallion may do?"

-he wasn't in trouble, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"If this stallion can truly claim to have built his well five years ago, he can claim the land around it as his own due to adverse possession. Meaning the town had sold his property without his permission."

The two monarchs looked at one another, the solution couldn't be this easy? Veretus was sure they were going to have to make a ruling that would leave one party dissatisfied, but if the law itself were on the blond stallions side...

They had dismissed lawyer and talked until Luna used her magic to lower the moon. Soon afterwards, the sun rose up. Along with the sun, the Alicorn of day, Celestia, decided to join the two at the dining hall for her breakfast. She was obviously nonplussed about seeing Veretus sitting next to Luna confusedly trying to figure out how to eat daisies.

She was most likely about to make some remark about this before the dining hall's atmosphere was consumed by a pink mare.

"He asked it!"

The mare had horns and wings, so obviously the Alicorn of Love both he and Luna had joked about yesterday. She had burst into the room behind Celestia, knocking the larger mare over. She had then started doing what Veretus assumed was a full body siezure, like when a soldier had been wacked in the helmet too hard. Her four hooves kept impacting the ground one after another in a pattern, she furled and unfurled her wings constantly, and she kept repeating the phrase, "he did it" so fast he was surprised she was still understandable.

"Auntie Celestia, Auntie Luna, he finally popped the question!" She squealed, a sound Veretus thought no creature could make, before she suddenly did a full body stop so fast he feared she might get whiplash.

"Aunties... Who is this?"

Comments

[Sub-Zero]

I'm enjoying this quite well keep up the great work 👍