• Member Since 30th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

Evident Disaster


T

Mankind has destroyed the Earth, the age of Reason once a time of peace, had ended in tragedy and the human race only remain in a scattered colony on Mars, in their exodus their children remember the world that had once been and are taught a terrible lesson of man, why men should have progressed not regressed. And sadly with this war had consumed the human race and obliterated them all to this, science and technology and philosophy was all that was left to propel mankind forwards.

The human race now must stride forwards into space, and hopefully towards a future, but with this future comes great challenges some of which will decide if man is ready to face the great unknown. As man separates it becomes to realize the dangers of what the future may bring. But amidst this another threat arrives not from this new frontier but from its past.

Amidst this chaos... can man find peace with itself before it finds peace with others? Or is history truly damned to repeat itself and plunge mankind into eternal chaos and misery?

This is a rather long story, and also ponies don't show up until around the second or third chapter so keep that in mind.

Also Cover Art is from:
jamga on DeviantArt
His art is awesome!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 35 )

fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/254/e/4/shinning_star_vs_evil_by_qauz-d5e6cre.jpg
This was the original idea i had for the story but decided i'd be blunt and right to the point, all of earth gone and replaced by ponies, but no i wanted this to be special, a meaning for something more not just dumb drama but more meaningful material of man's own folly and our own failure as a species that'd decide if we succeed or fail. :ajbemused:

Mankind must move forever forward lest it fall victim to the devastation it has sown in its wake.
I have no idea where that came from.

The ideas and concepts are good, but you need to watch your grammar and spelling.

YEEELOOOW WAR
Uh
...
Well I don't see any plot holes, there aren't any critical grammar errors so far but there is one confusing part.
It might be just me but I got lost at the fighter pilots preparation. You talked about pilot giving his tickets to some woman and then done the cut-off.
But I don't know if did change perception or not. And I totally got confused with the Avenger fighters, I couldn't figure out if it was the Americans or the nations still on earth. Before that there was some talk about having nukes and launching them, killing millions and I presumed that the President was the one that launched them. But then suddenly it switched to some gunner guy addresing the 'president' and telling him it was time to go. And then the 'president' went to fighter to fight some people.
Who the bloody hell were you talking about? And what station did he crash into?!...
It may be clear and I'm talking shit feces here but to me, it's confusing
Other than that it's nice. A small explanation of the current technology would be nice but not critically needed.
Also pro tip:
Don't throw in a character that has sort of importnant role and a name and then kill him 5 minutes later without giving him some background bio or the last 5 minutes of his activities.
It just doesn't work
¨
Or you might be an experienced author and I'm a dumbass

After reading the describtion, I thought this to be an awesome story. *reads CH0: The End of Reason* I LOVE IT!!!!!! :flutterrage:

1463348 There's more involved, so don't worry. I know here i aim.

I like it...But this is the type of story where you need to let it get 2 or 3 chapters in before it gets seriously interesting.

1463968

In that case I can't wait for more!

:yay:

Um, as much as I love how this story starts, (To me, nothing can destroy the master species but itself) however I can't help but find some flaws in the plot. For one, untrained civies wouldn't really do anything against trained soldiers that just got out of iraq, and before you go and say they bunked down or something... what tends to happen in those kind of situations is an airstrike. Not to mention the U.S. would have the top of the line equipment at the time, also what happened to the U.S. army support? Like jets, off shore mortars, ect. As for the ending, I suppose if the US has already been knocked down so low, they wouldn't have the top tech anymore, but I still find the whole 'aussie civies beat back trained soldiers' scene just ridiculous. On to the question, is this meant to be a humanized pony story? Now the accusations and fire starters; from this story I'm assuming you're Australian and an atheist? As for the whole part where the atheist leader dude only allows peaceful religions, well most religions now days are meant to be peaceful, as far as I know the new testament doesn't support any kind of violence, but like always people will always find a reason to hate their fellow man. Excuse my poor grammar and sentence structure, as I'm still in school and have yet to completely master the English language.

1465142 That's cool i know how its like in school. And i admit there's a few things i really should refine, aside from the small details.
The story takes place during decades of advancement and when the US collapsed into economic anarchy causing a shit ton of problems, and then there was all the wars started in Europe, and then the things just got out of hand with the varying ideologies, it caused the whole thing to escalate. As for space, the US put a lot more into its military budget but not its technological budget, it lacked the means to colonise and the AUS took the lead for the time.
As for AUS, it was through social control that Australia managed to just up the US, it wasn't easy cause there was violence in AUS with social changes and of course no system is so perfect,

1465142 And to add to that, the Alliance had all nations developing tech in Aus, cause it had massive stores of materials to be used, and could continue funding because the Alliance seized a number of overseas banks and industries during an intervention by the alliance there's a lot more i need to add, but yeah. Its a rather complicated situation. :twilightsmile:

1465169
For one, unless technology exploded like fuck, the U.S. magically removed all its troops from all the countries it's occupying, and existing vehicles all exploded simultaneously in the hanger. The U.S. wouldn't stop advancing technologically wise regardless of economic status (Germany proved this in WWII), simply because inventions are made to due the necessity of them, in this case; how to kill our brethren faster. After the whole destruction of the U.S. gov't I suppose you're writing the story so anything can go down, but I still find the Australian knock back of an army improbable. You also didn't confirm or answer my comments and questions. Is this a humanized pony fiction? Out of curiosity, no hate, are you Australian and Atheist? You story pointed towards that conclusion.

P.S. Just in case you missed the question above, is this a humanized pony fanfic? :twilightsmile: Sorry if that sounds like it's dripping with hate, I couldn't find a better way to say it without sounding anymore mean.

1465264 I'm not sure about pony/human, that's waiting for me, i'm aiming towards Anthro from 4 votes, and 6 on humanized its really bending in human so dunno.
As for my ideology, i'm Australian, and yes i'm an Atheist, i was formerly Catholic and gave up after 6 years of spending my life learning of all ideologies and studying their texts i finally got sick of the messages portrayed. And thought it would be better for me to remain as an individual aiming for something worthwhile.

As for the US it was more or less turned on itself, the Russians and China backed the Alliance in the corner and helped stalemate the whole situation that's why aggression was minimized.

1465355
Shame, I'll stick around until you decide weather you're taking this the humanized route or not. If you do happen to take the humanized route, I'd be sad, but I'm still gonna vote up on this story as I believe it has a lot of potential, regardless of whether I enjoy the style or not.

P.S. Called it! Points for me?

Hi

All you have to say is the Mars atmosphere and the gravity has changes the forms and made a new species while the older humans changed little

1466112 One idea... but this ones meant to hit on a tragic note.

1466291 Well it is cause i'm trying to make it a very human story cause it is. In comparison to MLP.

Hi

1466319 dude don't make me grab the shitt-destoyer-2500 and use it on you or maybe you need some thing else... i haven't named it yet but its about a thousand times more powerfully than the shit-destoyer its an exotic suit with. 13.4 inch thick titanium-alloy-a with like 10 shit-destoyers located in various locations(mainly arms and chest) with 8 auto-lock-on located on the shoulders... those rockets can push you all the way around the world if they didn't exploded on impact and they are my own special mix:pinkiecrazy: you might think I'm crazier then her <---

1465169 ... What about the other nations of the Commonwealth?

this looks like its going to be really really good but please make the ponies as ponies because for some reason ive just never liked the idea of anthro ponies

1468441 A little late, 5 on anthro, 3 for ponies, 6 for human :pinkiecrazy:

1469407 please don't tell me the US tried to take over Canada. They already tried that once and it didn't end well for them.

1471259 They tried in the backstory about 3 times, they annexed it much like Fallout, and then got kicked out and then the second time it didnt work, the third time they clobbered Canada into submission till it surrendered. Yeah Canada didnt have too much luck with the US. :pinkiesad2:

1471467 ... this saddens me. How the f#@$ could the secure our entire country? Where were you Australians? And the British? Or even the Russians? I couldn't imagine them sitting buy and watching that happen, we have too much oil among other things such as *cough* uranium *cough* and fresh water.

1471507 A little complicated there, the first time it happened, the invasion was already under way of the US, that's why Canada repulsed the US the second time round, well a portion of it. The US was splintered after the 3rd world war which was found on US and South American soil, not really anywhere else, the fraction of the US which rallied under the ultra-nationalist ideology caused a lot of trouble after Hargraves retired so it didn't work out to well.
As for the third time, Russia, China and parts of Europe were all fighting each other, and so they couldn't intervene. As for Aus, we opened our gates to Canadian refugees and let everyone it, but it's kinda hard to help because we were under threat of invasion from Indonesia, which had been controlled by an Islamic government thus we had our own problems.

What I read.

US National Socialist Alliance Party

What I see.

historyonthenet.com/Nazi_Germany/images/naziflag.gif

with the way it reads with CH0, I'd lean anthro/humanized.

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