• Member Since 6th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

lillytheomegawolf


I enjoy reading and writing cute ponies. If my works brighten up your day, even better.

T

With magic restored, Thunder and Zoom Zephyrwing enjoy their first flight together.
Once released from their duties for the day, the pair continued to explore their bond in exciting new ways.


A cute slice of life set right after Sunny and her friends unleashed everypony's magic.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 25 )

I sure do want more. I was wondering how you would get these two more character depth than what the movie hinted at but this was definitely fantastic. I mean it feels like it could almost slot right into the movie without much in terms of changes. And thunder having a hoard of sneakers is movie accurate so this is really fun. I could totally see these two having a fun time on the sidelines of the show and I really wonder what the show will be like if the stories overall have been decent.

Awwww, yesssss! I kind of thought Zoom was a boy too, but they're still just ask adorable as mare and stallion!

... I have a part two in mind.
We need to see their first date.
And a proper first kiss.
Who's with me?

Iā€™m with you.

That was cute. Love the way these two are written. Can't wait for more. Though there are a few typos to iron out, mostly with verbs being shifted into past tense.
11000299
A lot of people apparently made the same mistake. VAs had to confirm on Twitter that Zoom is a mare.

11000715
Yeah remind me of Smolder's debut.Everyone think she a boy as well.

Also pretty cute story.Can't wait to see more of this two.

11000715
Well she's still a colt in my heart

Adorable! I like how, even though we're jumping right into the beginning of a relationship, we do get the sense that these two have known each other for a long time and that this is a natural progression.

11000299
Glad you think they are adorable.

11000445
Great to know.

11000715
Thanks. Glad to know I seem to be doing them justice.

11000804
Thanks. More is coming...

11001067
That is the feeling I got from the film and I'm glad it translated well into my story as I tried to continue the tale.


I appreciate all the comments. Very encouraging for writing more.

A little technical criticism: The part with Zoom hitting the water could be improved. I had a hard time understanding what was happening, or picturing what happened. How could she come out the water if she dove down into it? How could Thunder catch her without going under the water himself? I think you intended for her to go through a cresting wave, or something? More of a horizontal motion? But it's unclear even on reading it over again.

11001529
Thank you for your criticism.

That is fair. I have revised that section.
I hope it makes sense now and you can visualize it without breaking the flow of the story.

This is the most adorable thing I've read all week :twilightsmile:

Just read that one. We're shipping secondary characters already, and that's good. I like this kind of fluff, since the movie was juuuuust rightly fluffy in that regard. If you wanna go for chapter 2, I'll be definitly following !

Nice to see this one getting another chapter!

Aww this is an cute way to start your story and seeing those two guard ponies at least the ones we saw back in the mountains when sunny and Izzy got them self caught named zoom and Thunder and I had to admit they are very cute together and they actually felt really comfortable with each other this is a pretty good start of a story

New Generation, new ships for background characters :raritystarry:

That's really cute. And well, kinda interesting to see it take a "slow paced" approach. Which is nice. It let feelings (and feels) mature and all that :derpytongue2:

Well this was a very sweet story so far and it looks like Thunder really want to take things slow which I guess that's a good point because you don't want to rush relationship you want to get to know them a little bit more and then go out see how this will go but it doesn't mean they can still hang out they just need time well whatever the time goes we'll find out next time

When is the next chapter?

I'm truly excited for the next chapter of this story. I like the approach you're taking; slow-paced, mature, and a not-so-picture-perfect relationship "guy gets girl, let's fuck" kind of trope.

You've got a knack for stories. Please continue and best of luck with this one!

Those two have name tags now

I really hope this gets finished. It's very well done.

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