• Member Since 17th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 7th, 2022


Comments ( 55 )

First G5 clopfic I read, and it's a good one!

"Yeah, sorry, but blowjobs have nothing to do with sex among unicorns,"

So the "orgasm" part is just a coincidence?

Hope you don't mind a few spelling corrections:
once he looked passed the horn -> past ("passed" is the action of passing, "past" is a direction like "behind")
I've had lots of ponies tell me its the best thing-> it's
Okay, lets please keep the history books -> let's
had been so busy getting use to -> used to
slipped her tongue out passed the -> past (again)

The potential consequences of one have a far greater impact on ones life than the other. So I don't imagine the closeness between the 2 ponies being factored in quite as much for a blowjob as for sex.

You should make a part 2

Thank you! I keep telling him he's using the wrong form of past, but he doesn't listen!

Glad you enjoyed it, and I will never turn down free editing help, thank you

This. I imagine it starting out as a "I want orgasms but not babies" kind of thing, then a couple generations pass and the entire view has just become an accepted "This is how it's always been".

Sequel maybe, but I'm calling this one done. I do have some ideas I might explore if I get them worked out right in my head first

I'm probably subconsciously doing it out of spite at this point

"Can I interest you in a blowjob? I'm good. I've had lots of ponies tell me it's the best thing I can do with my mouth."


:rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh:

"I could sing a song? Do a dance? Teach you about unicorn superstitions. Give you a blowjob. Take you on a long, mind opening journey through the ancient philosophies of...".

It's just hilarious how she names the one thing that stands out from the others so casually.

Poor Izzy. She's way too innocent to realize that is a passive-agressive way of saying she's annoying.

They're by no means as numerous as G4's fics, but this is genuinely the best characterizing and prose I've seen in a G5 fic so far. Pretty amused by the after-convo.


Legit reactions, and yet Izzy is still proud of how good she is at it


Izzy has no shame, and I refuse to believe otherwise


Thank you very much, appreciate it

Is there any chance of a sequel? 'Cause it was AMAZING and I want more. Please?:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

I'm thinking the clop groups are going to have to open a new folder for Hitch/Harem stories. I have a feeling he is going to be staring in a lot of them.
Am I the only one who thought Princess Zipp? was a guy based on her voice in the trailer. My ears are not the greatest so it might just have been me.

Very nice story. The character writing was good, the pacing just right, and with the dialogue and setting, it made for an amazing read. Even outside the clop portions, I really loved this and would be very interested in seeing more of this story itself. The clop itself was also very nicely done and not overly forced and just the natural progression of this encounter. Top Notch work :pinkiehappy:

You ever think that if there is casual blowjobs, then there must be ranked, competitive blowjobs in Bridlewood? Or would it be formal, black-tie affair sex?

Well, I mean, I would hardly care it a taser,

Care or call?


Competitive blowjobs

I don't know that scene but if it's some kind of competition then I'm sure Alphabittle is probably the regining champion at it

One of the first clopfics.

And you child, shall be the first of many yet to come.

Well I'm glad you liked it so much. I have some ideas, but I'm not ready to make promises other than to try writing them down and deciding if I like them

I rather hope so. It is such a breath of fresh air to have a male main character who is not a total dork, nor presented as the irresistible hunky love interest, but just another character in the group. I like Hitch a lot

Thank you, thank you, and thank you.

...*opens Idea Folder*

...derp. Sigh. I have no idea how that one slipped by me. Fixed. Thank you.


It has begun?

Nope, clopfics came out as soon as we had Sunny and Izzy's names. (I'm not even joking)

i need to move to Bridlewood obviously

It wasn't just you.

Faved for the conversations. Really captures the characters!

Fucking perfect lmfao, I love it.

Honestly the best characterization I've read thus far of the new ponies on here. Lmao. Good work there.

Fun, well-written bit of clop with excellent characterization! Good job. :twilightsmile:

Loved this story, probably one of the best fics involving the new charecters I've read, and one of the best fics involving a blowjob I've read too! Phenomenal work. I guess now I'm off to see what else you've written :pinkiehappy:

I mean, it's not like it takes much with this fandom. Which I love about it, clearly, considering the inspiration here

Right there with you


Thank you all very much

Oops I forgot to say that I really loved the story! Very well done characterization and developed thoughts! I especially adored what you did with Izzy.

You've opened up new headcanons for me lmao

Oh, let me clarify then. One of the first ones with good characterization and a funny story. A one that I can read unironically :trollestia:

Also, anyone knows which way is Bridlewood? Asking for a friend, of course.

The fact that I hear Izzy every time she talks in this story is a good thing.

And even without the electric tongue but, it's totally believable that Izzy would give amazing blowjobs.

And I love that she basically tells him to ask her out to dinner and he's just a bit too thick to catch it. Yeah the idea gets in his head, but he doesn't fully realize what she's saying.

Then she took off, leaving him laying there and staring after her.

"Watch us shake our unicorn butts.":rainbowlaugh:

This was good. Delete the clop and it's still a nice character piece that makes me seriously consider the ship as a whole.

Izzy giggled. "Thought so. Well, I'd be happy to be your first! And hey, the first blowjob given between unicorns and earth ponies in like, so many many many many moons! This is like, history making stuff, right?"

"Hold up, hold! Up!" Hitch said seriously. "Are you telling me, that of all the stories earth ponies tell about unicorns, all that stuff which you have been steadily making me question the truth of, the bit about unicorns having tongues like tasers is actually true?"

Hitch felt a little surge of pride go through him, for himself and for his fellow earth ponies, at those words. It was probably a silly thing, but finding out that unicorn stallions were apparently less well equipped gave him a smug sense of superior satisfaction that he probably ought to have felt guilty about. He found himself idly wondering what pegasi had to work with...

Now those are some quality lines from this great piece of clop ! As of yet, it's definitly the best one I've read for this G5. I'll concur with the others comment about a sequel, because there's definitly material in there !

To think it's only been one movie, out for a week... I can't wait to see what we'll have in the future !


This was good. Delete the clop and it's still a nice character piece that makes me seriously consider the ship as a whole.

This. It was a fantastic read that feels like an organic part of the world. Perfect characterisations, and a somewhat quirky side of ponies I'd absolutely accept as canon.

This was great! I hope we'll get to see quality work with the other girls too.

I actually know a few people who feel similarly; to them, anything with a 0% chance of bebbies doesn't count as sex, it's just fooling around - kind of like very thorough snuggling.

Add the chance for kids, and things get more serious super fast, even for a tiny chance.

I could definitely see this being a unicorn thing... Though you'd think they'd be less mopey and depressed if so!

Casual blowjobs...oh, to live in such a world.

Most excellent.

Heh, good to hear. I'd love to see the tongue taser thing catch on in the fandom

I see it as being a coping mechanism for their cultural depression over losing their magic

Truly, this variety of friendship would be magic?


Thank you all so very much for the kind words, it really means a lot

I hope this "tongues like tasers" catches on in many new stories of G5.

I imagine if Sunny Starscout has feelings for him. She going to be a little jealous if she ever finds out what he did with Izzy.

"Uh, yeah!" Izzy said seriously. "Casual blowjobs are totally part of unicorn social bonding. Keeps everyone nice and relaxed. You'll see, when we get to Bridlewood tomorrow, you are going to see some of the most chill, laid back ponies ever!"

I had to

I love this story on so many levels. It pegs the characters just right...

"AHHH!" Hitch exclaimed jerking back suddenly.

"AHHH!" Izzy yelped.

"AHHH!" Hitch repeated, and then quickly jammed a hoof over Izzy's mouth. "Okay, we're not doing that again," he added quickly.

...it nails the interactions of these two...

"Well you frigh-er-startled me," Hitch replied, switching gears mid-word. Being startled was perfectly masculine after all.

"I'm sorry, I'll be sure to not frigh-er-startle you in the future," Izzy assured him brightly.

...it's gloriously - and cutely - descriptive...

"I am a jello mold in the shape of a pony right now," Hitch said seriously.

...it brings in a healthy dose of whimsy...

"Are you saying that casual...those things...are something unicorns do?"

"Uh, yeah!" Izzy said seriously.

...and also manages to be so incredibly hot.

What? You thought I was going to quote some of the goodies? :ajsmug:


I'm now imaginging each tribe has it's own vastly different casualness...

Unicorns have their casual blowjobs. It's pegasi to ask about a casual, um, fling. And then earth ponies with their casual snuggles.

Zipp, Pip, and Izzy: "Y-y-y-you held hooves?! But that makes you practically married!"


I'd love to see it myself. And Izzy knows what will make Sunny feel less jealous! :raritywink:


Thank you, glad you enjoyed it. And I'll admit, I'm kind of tickled at the idea of earth ponies and their wicked snuggles and debacherous hoof holding :rainbowlaugh:

Nice. I'd honestly like to see a followup, whether it focuses on the others or Hitch decides to take Izzy out for dinner.

After how the movie ended, I think Sunny might need to be introduced to the unicorn method of blowing off steam too...

Oh my god I laughed so many times. You nailed their personalities!

Very well written! And freaking funny

Wow, this was great! Plenty of people have said as much so I'll not prattle on, but yeah, nice work!

Yay!! You're still alive!! :pinkiehappy:

I have something I am playing with, though I'm not sure how much I like it yet

I'm sure Izzy would be happy to help her out, if Sunny asks...

Thank you very much!

Thank you, appreciate it

Let's just say that the way Sunny looks at Hitch aren't looks someone gives their "best friend".

Author Interviewer

Super funny, exactly the kind of thing I want to get if I'm going to read a porn fic. :)

"Uh, yeah!" Izzy said seriously. "Casual blowjobs are totally part of unicorn social bonding. Keeps everyone nice and relaxed. You'll see, when we get to Bridlewood tomorrow, you are going to see some of the most chill, laid back ponies ever!"

Why do I get the feeling that Izzy was making shit up, and just REALLY wanted to suck Hitch's d^ck?

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