A Hard Pill to Swallow
"Soooo… what do you ladies do in your free time?"
I'm answered by a round of giggles.
The nurses are warming up to me. I mean, as more than just a patient. Their day is at a slow spot, so these three are just lounging around the nurse's station, filling out some paper work and drinking coffee. I felt good enough to walk around a little today, so while I was out in the hallway, I asked if I could join them. I pulled up a wheelchair and tried to pull my conversation skills out of the dark recesses of my brain.
"I don't get much of that anymore. I go to work, come home, and take care of my foals," Nurse Coldheart says half-heartedly.
Coldheart is a pale yellow mare with very light blue curly hair, with a lighter-blue highlight. She has a kind of harsh voice… it's actually a little unpleasant.
"At least you have foals and a husband to come home to…" Nurse Heartache quips.
She has a very nice, well-kempt light-purple coat and very light pink, almost white, mane and tail. Her figure is actually a little skinny compared to her coworkers’. Her mane is kept in a bun. It must be a dress code around here.
She continues, "And I don't know about you girls, but nothing relaxes me more than a nice hot bath and a glass of wine."
The other two 'ooooo' at that.
"How about you, Nurse Rayne?" I ask.
Nurse Rayne, the only nurse (whose name I know, anyway) who doesn't have the word 'heart' in her name. She's a dull, dark blue. Not an inky, midnight blue like Luna would be, but sort of a grayish dark blue. Her mane and tail are slightly wavy and very deep purple. She's also the only nurse I've seen who has something besides a cross for a cutie mark, hers is a… crossbow?.
"Oh please, call me Dusk… And, well, I'm not much for drinking, but I enjoy a good book from time to time," she replies with a little smile.
"What about you Dane?" Heartache asks.
I sigh. There was a time when I had free time. There was a time when I was a family man. But the older I got, the more time I spent working. Because I knew I had less and less time to finish the job.
My only son eventually distanced himself from me and my daughter-in-law never liked me. I saw my grandchildren less and less, until it was only at mandatory family gatherings, for holidays and such. And they're grown up now, and could probably care less about their crazy old grandpa. I offered them jobs with me, but they turned me down.
Patty and I used to do things together…
We took vacations once in a while, did some fun things. And we'd just spend time with each other at night, sometimes we'd have romantic dinners, candlelight, wine, all that jazz. Just enjoying each other's company. Way, way back when… we used to go dancing. I never could dance for shit, but she didn't care. Patty was a queen on the dance floor… sometimes I feel bad that I couldn't have been a better dancing partner for her.
Ever since she passed on, I've had nothing to do but work. Sometimes I would fall asleep behind my desk, and just wake up there the next morning.
"I… actually haven't had a whole lot of free time lately. But I guess I finally got some, coming here."
"You mean this hospital, or this 'world'?" Nurse Coldheart scoffs.
Me being an extra-dimensional being is not the easiest thing to believe, apparently.
"Both," I shrug.
Nurses Heartache and Rayne giggle a little bit.
"Oh," Coldheart complains, "look what the cat drug in." She looks over to her approaching coworker.
Nurse Redheart walks up to me.
"Can it Coldheart," she shoots back at her, barely even glancing her way.
The other two look uncomfortable at this display, their ears go a little flat, but they stay quiet. There's clearly some kind of tension going on between Redheart and Coldheart.
Redheart stops in front of me. She's holding something shiny in her mouth.
"I brought the… item you requested, Mr. Dane," she says with perfect clarity, despite having her teeth clenched on the metal thing.
She gently places it on my lap.
"I still don't know why you wanted this… but Dr. Sutures said I should supervise you… while you use it." She seems to be trying, unsuccessfully, to soften the tone of her voice for me, after giving that comeback to Coldheart.
I pick up the thing and examine it. "Oh, it's a razor! Finally… Thank you!"
A straight edge razor to be precise. Like from an old timey barber shop. Except it's all metal, even the handle. Obviously meant to look like a surgical instrument. I knew they'd have a razor somewhere around here, they have to shave fur to operate, right?
I wipe some moisture off the polished metal handle with my thumb. I look up to the white mare in front of me. Undoubtedly saliva. I carefully unfold the sharp tool and get a feel for it in my hand, Nurse Redheart takes a step back. Her and the others eyeball me precariously as I move the sharp instrument around.
I see this and quickly fold the blade into the handle.
"Well I guess you're waiting on me then?" I ask the white mare in front of me.
"Yep," she responds dryly.
I grab hold of my cane and make to get up. They took me off the IV, so I've had to substitute my cane for the short IV pole. Speaking of short, this wheelchair is short too, so getting up is a little bit of a challenge, but I manage to sort of rock my way out and up.
"Well, good day ladies. Nice talking to you." I wave goodbye and they wave back, and go on about their business.
After the long trek back to my room, and its bathroom, I quickly realize a small problem. The mirror, and sink for that matter, are quite low. I've managed to stoop down to wash my hands, but shaving is another story.
But before I can think too much about it, I hear a chair being scraped along the floor and into the bathroom.
"Thanks," I say to Redheart while positioning my posterior for placement.
What few chairs there are around here are also low, so sitting is more of a controlled fall for me.
Warming up to shave, I notice Nurse Redheart staring intently at me. She has taken a keen interest with several things about me, but she always keeps it brief. In the interest of professionalism, I suppose. I can't help but wonder if the doctor's order of supervision was just an excuse for her to watch me.
I turn on the hot water, and I open the blade and set it under the running water. I could feel Redheart's questioning gaze piercing my skin.
"It's something my dad told me… many, many years ago. 'You always want a hot blade, son.' "
I take the bar of soap, lather it up on my hands, and apply it to my relatively short, white beard. Now, I've never actually shaved with a straight edge before, but then again, I've never been in a universe inhabited by talking ponies before. First time for everything I guess.
Sadly, the sink doesn't have a drain plug, so I let the water run. I pick up the razor and very carefully start on my right cheek, holding my skin taught with my left hand, and I place the razor where I'd like to end my sideburns with my right.
One stroke in and Redheart pipes up, "Aren't you afraid you'll cut yourself?"
"Well, actually yes. I've never shaved with a straight-edge before, and there's a reason we call them cut-throat razors." I smile as I mimic slicing into my jugular, with a very generous distance between my neck and the blade, of course. I add a little squishy noise for effect.
She winces at the thought while I continue.
It took a while, and fortunately it went without incident.
"Why do you do this anyway? Shave the fur off your face?" Nurse Redheart innocently asks.
"It's not really fur, it's a beard. And it'll just keep getting longer if I don't. There was a time when I would've had a goatee, or a soul patch… but I'm too old for that now. Just a clean shave for me," I say as I dry off my face with a white towel.
"Hi Dane! …You look different," Twilight greets me as she enters my room.
"Yeah, I shaved my beard."
"Oh, that was a beard?" She ponders a bit, tapping her chin with a hoof. "So is it a cultural thing to shave it?"
"Eh… some cultures have certain facial hair styles. But not really, it's more of a personal preference for me."
"Interesting… Well I brought a friend with me!"
Said friend lethargically walks into the room.
Well, hellooooo Rainbow Dash.
That rainbow mane… it's like hair highlights, but not. Her colors do blend into each other a little bit. And yes, her mane is messy.
She looks slightly annoyed. Twilight probably dragged her away from a comfy cloud nap or something. But her eyes fill with curiosity when she gets a look at me.
"Wow, what the hay are you?!"
Twilight inserts her face into a hoof. "Have you listened to a word I've said for the past week?!"
"Nah, not really," Dash responds with a guilty smile.
"Ugh…"
"Nice to meet you too, Rainbow Dash. My name's Dane. I've heard so much about you…"
"Really?! I mean, uh, yeah, of course you have." She tilts her head up proudly, and puts on a smug smile.
And she flares her wings.
Wings. Glorious sky blue wings. I haven’t seen any pegasus wings in person yet. Fluttershy had hers tucked in the whole short time I saw her. And, come to think of it, none of the doctors or nurses are pegasi… at least I haven't seen any. Perhaps all the pegasus healthcare professionals work in Cloudsdale? I have seen a few patients… but they all shy away from me…
Back to her wings. They're… small. From a realistic standpoint, I mean, they're too small to lift something her size. But hell, I'm a different universe, one with magic. I think I'll have to throw away all my preconceived notions of reality. Sure, I've seen her wings in the Viewer, and they're actually a hair (or feather) bigger than they were in the show. It's just that, up close, in person, everything's different, and way more real.
Each (relatively) big primary feather is distinguishable, and some of them are… kind of beaten up actually. A couple of them have breaks in the… feathery part of the feather? I'm not exactly a bird expert. Anyway, most likely the result of over-use and crashing. I'm sure Rainbow Dash, of all pegasi, would preen regularly.
Right?
And she's got down! Her… uh… wing-pits are full of fluffy lighter-blue down feathers! I bet she'd be real ticklish there…
"So, um, what was your name again?"
"Dane." I smile a little more than I was already.
"Dane, right. What have you heard about me, exactly?" She playfully asks, holding a hoof out in question.
"Well, let's see… you're the fastest flier in Equestria…"
"Yep."
"Element of Loyalty…"
"Yeah."
"You like taking naps…"
"Hmm…"
"Apple cider…"
"Totally!"
"Daring Do…"
"Awwww yeah!"
"And long walks on the beach."
"Wait, what?"
"Huh?" Twilight pipes up.
"Just kidding!"
"Ha. You're a pretty funny, uh… whatever you are." She flicks a hoof in my direction.
"Human," I point out.
"Hey, you got claws!"
"Well, hands…"
She flies over to me. Her little wings move so much air, I have to close my eyes because of the dust she kicks up! She lands in front of Twilight, shoving her aside a little bit.
Dash leans on the edge of my bed and picks up my wrinkly old left hand in her sky blue hooves.
I try really hard not to start feeling her hooves.
"Five talons?"
"Fingers."
"Whatever!" She rolls her eyes. "What's with the gold ring?"
Ah… she noticed the gold band that's practically embedded in my finger.
"Oh, it's a… a wedding ring."
"Wedding ring? Like… like unicorns have?" She looks to Twilight for an answer, who just shrugs.
For once, she's not taking notes… and she looks a little out-of-it… hmm…
"So you're married?" Dash asks, still examining my hand, turning it around in her (actually very soft) hooves.
"Eh… widowed…" I sigh and glance down.
"Oh… um. I'm sorry." She gently places my hand on the bed and looks around nervously. She scratches the back of her neck.
"It's ok Dash… don't worry about it."
"So, um…" she nervously tries to change the subject, "where ya from?"
"Haha… a-whole-nother world, Dash."
"Whatdya mean a-whole-nother world? Are you an alien?!"
"I… kinda? I'm not from another planet-world. I'm from another dimension-world."
"Universe," Twilight casually corrects me.
"Another dimension? Wow, I didn't even… you know, think there were other dimensions! That's so cool!"
I nod with a smile at that thought.
"So why'd you come here? Was it an accident? Do we have to find a way to get you back?!" She flares her wings again.
"HELL no. I'm here to stay."
"Oh…" She looks intrigued by my choice of words. "Ok, that's cool. So why'd you come here then?"
"Ah… because you're so awesome…" I point a finger and wink at her.
She chuckles at that. "Yup, it's true!" She smiles smugly.
Twilight grumbles a bit.
"Hey, you're awesome, too, Twi!" I add defensively.
She giggles, "Well thanks! It's just that Rainbow here has trouble being humble sometimes…" Twilight glares at her friend, who merely shrugs in response, still smiling.
"Hey," Dash looks back to me, "it was nice talking to you, but I gotta get back to work. It's supposed to rain tonight!"
"Ah, that's ok. Work comes first, I understand." Weather duty… maybe she's on a lunch break or something?
"Alright then, I guess we'll be going. See you soon, Dane!" Twilight says as she makes for the door.
"Yeah, I'll see ya around!" Dash follows her friend out the door, but she stops at the door and turns back. "You know, you're pretty cool for an old guy!"
"Rainbow!" I hear Twilight yell from in the hallway, scolding her friend.
Dash makes a point of ignoring that.
"Thanks, Dashie."
She pops an eyebrow up at that name, but doesn't think much of it as she smirks and makes her way out.
On my way out of the bathroom, I spy a tiny, little, very light blue, down feather by the foot of my bed. I quickly look around to make sure nopony's watching.
I stoop down and pluck it from the floor.
Twirling it around in my fingers, I can't help but wonder…
I bring it to my face and it tickles my nose as I inhale…
Smells like…
Sweat… and body odor.
Ew.
"Dane?"
I open my eyes. It's dark in here.
"Who's there?"
"It's me, Twilight Sparkle."
I turn on the lamp on the bedside table and reach for my glasses.
"Come on in, Twi."
"I'm sorry to bother you so late…"
I look out the window and see nothing but darkness, except for the few rain drops quietly pitter-patter-ing on the glass.
"No, no, it's alright." I couldn't turn down a visit from her anyway.
I look over to her while she slowly treads towards me. But she's alone.
No Pinkie…
"Didn't bring a friend tonight?" I ask with a little smirk.
"Um, no… I was kind of hoping we could talk… privately…"
Oh, no…
I pull myself up a little in my bed. "Is this about the ponies in my world? Because–"
"No, no. It's not about that…"
Thank Celestia.
"And actually I talked with Applejack about that. We both understand, if ponies where you're from are not intelligent beings, then there's really no reason they can't be… pets." She doesn't look particularly happy saying this. "Some ponies have small monkeys as pets, so I guess it works both ways, right?" She looks up to me with a small, unsure smile.
"Besides," she continues, "she and I agreed not to mention that to anypony else…"
"Good, good. Probably for the best." I nod.
"So… what I actually wanted to talk to you about…" She trails off, looking down at the floor.
"Yes?"
"I just… I don't… how do you know so much about us?" She looks me with pleading eyes, staring me dead in the eye.
"Ah yes… that…"
"I know you told me you 'knew too much' about us… but… I'm sorry, I didn't completely believe that… at first… I thought you probably just heard of us. The stories about the Elements have spread even to the Griffon Kingdom. But… I do believe you are from another universe, and… if that's true, then how do you know all this?"
"I… I didn't mean to scare you or anything…"
"Oh no, I'm not scared, but I just… I don't know. It's the way you've talked to all my friends. You knew Rarity was a clothing designer. That didn't surprise me much, but then you knew that Rainbow likes apple cider… and taking naps… and that she's a fan of Daring Do. Those are not things anypony outside of Ponyville, and maybe Cloudsdale knows. And you talked to them, to me… like you know us. I've been trying to ignore all of this, trying to convince myself it's all just coincidence, but I just can't anymore. It's… it's eating away at me… I have to know!" She looks back up at me, her gaze shifting between my eyes, pleading for an answer.
As if she's searching for the truth in my very soul.
Thunder rumbles somewhere far away.
"Twi…"
"See! Even that!" She points an accusing hoof at me. "You're using a nickname that my friends use! Well, mostly Applejack, but still!"
"Twilight. I was planning on telling you sooner or later. Remember? I told you it was going to be hard to hear."
"You said it would be 'a hard pill to swallow.' And… I guess I am scared. Not of you. Just… what you're going to say."
I sigh and rub the bridge of my nose.
"You might want to sit down, Twi."
She telekinetically moves the chair by the door over to her behind, without so much as looking at it, and sits in it. She opts for more of a slightly curled-up laying position, rather than a on-her-haunches position.
I… practiced this speech. For years I did. I'm sure most of us had some version of it in our heads. This is what I would say, when she asks.
But now… it's all wrong. I can't say it, not like this. I'd sound like a jackass saying it the way I wanted to. I'd break her heart, or scare her away. I have to start from scratch.
And I would ask her if she's sure she wants to know, but… this is Twilight we're talking about here. Of course she wants to know.
"Do you want the long version or the short one?"
"The long one," she quickly replies, "tell me everything."
"Alright, Twi, but I have to warn you, you might not like what you're about to hear. But I swear to you, I swear to Celestia, it's the truth."
She nods hastily, eager to hear what I have to say.
I take a deep breath.
Where to begin? Where to begin…
"Do you like movies, Twilight?"
"What?" I caught her off guard with that one.
"Do you like movies?"
"Well, yes… I mean I usually prefer books, but I guess I do like movies."
"Ok, imagine everypony could have a box, with a screen, that would play movies for them, in their homes."
"Ohhhh… kay?" She looks thoroughly confused.
"Except it doesn't really play movies by itself, the movies are played somewhere else, and the box, we call a 'television' or 'TV' for short, could pick up those movies and show them to you as they're played."
"I'm not following," she says flatly.
"Bear with me…"
"No, I mean I'm really not following. How could you play movies somewhere else and see them on these 'teevees'?"
"Magic."
"Y- You said you don't have magic!" She points a shaky hoof at me.
"Haha, gotcha. We don't. Science and technology. That's how. The signals are sent by electromagnetic radio waves… bah, I'm getting off topic."
"No, please go on." She whips out her writing supplies again.
"No, Twilight, don't write this down."
"Oh, ok." She levitates the paper, pen, and ink out of sight.
"Twilight."
"Hmm?"
"Don't. Write. This."
"I'm not!"
"I can see the paper floating under your chair."
She grumbles.
"You might not want to anyway… after you hear the whole thing. If you want, I can explain the details later. Now, please?"
"Alright, fine." With a small flash, her note taking tools disappear.
"Where was I? Oh yes, TV. When you have a TV, movies aren't enough. Shows and news reports and documentaries are made just for them. The shows generally come in short, half hour episodes."
Here comes the fun part.
I sigh. "Have you ever been obsessed with something, Twi?"
Of course I already know the answer.
"…Yes," she meekly responds, still unsure about all this.
"There was one TV show…" I smirk. "It was wrong, you know, each show catered to a specific audience… and by all rights, I shouldn't have been in the audience for that one. None of us should have. But somehow… somehow it just… everything about it was right."
I look up to Twilight, her brow is furrowed, still contemplating what I'm saying.
I stare at her for a second, and think about how I should go about this.
Lighting flashes and thunder rumbles, much, much closer this time.
"Have you ever loved a story so much, Twilight, that you wanted to be IN it?"
Her expression softens.
"I did… and I wouldn't take 'no' for an answer."
I look at her again. I think she's getting it. Her eyes are darting around the room. She's clearly thinking about it.
"Don't be scared, Twilight. When we… finally got the Alternate Universe Viewer up and running… we saw so many universes… it really put things in perspective."
And by 'perspective' I mean I had a mental breakdown.
"When you see a copy of your world, of your whole existence, but with one tiny difference… you realize that you might exist just because somebody sneezed in another universe."
Oh shit, she's breathing too fast.
"Twilight? Twilight!"
I move close to her and gently pat her cheek.
"Twilight, look at me." I grab her chin and point her face towards mine. "You. Are. Real! This world is real, nothing can change the fact that you EXIST!"
She's definitely hyperventilating now and she starts to tremble.
"Holy shit… NURSE!!!"
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Oh crap! She's freaking out! NUUUUUUUUUURSE!!!!!!
Ollie give me a report on the first Brony in Equestria. HE GON DIE!
I would totally draw that thing if I was good at drawing.... a big viewing window looking into the transportation/portal chamber, a chair bolted to the floor infront of a panel with about a dozen buttons, a platform infront of the panel which is circular, about 2 feet higher from the rest of the floor with a slope going around it, a circle on the platform, with a teleportation pad in the center. There is also a big ol' 200 inch viewing screen infront of platform to monitor teleportation to another universe.
The room is completely white except for the control panel which is black next to the buttons with the rest of it down to the floor being white. Everything in the room is very smooth.
Courtesy of my imagination.
It's like this room.
t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRtfuICXsdehL5z_iJzKED7lp0c19UX9J8SqmAbICoFWO9BZLcz
pleeeeeAAAAAssseee MOOOOOOOORRRRREEEE
Keep the landscape shot, but maybe shop in "Walter" from Jeff Dunham's comedy routines, falling from the sky wearing an MLP-themed shirt.
A blessing to read as it usually is and I guess I know of one picture
th02.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/258/e/d/twilight_sparkle_by_raikoh_illust-d5es998.png
Wow, that ending. D:
I still love this story but Twilight seems to have accepted the idea pretty quickly. I mean she knows Dane is from another universe and she can certainly put pieces together in her head but still with such a short explanation she just freaks out knowing it can't be real but knowing it is.
Gah, now I have to wait for the next chapter? You monster!
Am I the only one who's picturing Dane as Clint Eastwood?
GET THE DOCTOR!!!
th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2011/299/a/2/doctor_whooves_by_1414holyflanders-d4dzik8.png SORRY WRONG DOCTOR!
When it said he had a mental breakdown, I imagined JonTrons mental breakdown from the dinocity video.
Well. Now I can't imagine anything but her breathing starting to get heavy, her grinding her teeth and foaming at the mouth.
Dude... it would really suck if Dane survived a heart attack but Twilight didn't. DUN DO THIS TO ME, BRO. JUS DUNT.
Anyway, patiently awaiting the next chapter!
EDIT: Seriously? Over a dozen comments in, like, 15 minutes? Damn son, you got yourself a following. I commend thee.
You've been doing a great job of this so far. The fascination with the details and the behavior of the characters are all great and you are exploring both the positives and negatives of the pony-verse; it isn't a paradise and has it's flaws, but it is still a very happy and beautiful place. Keep up the good work.
My one complaint is the foul language. In my personal opinion, colorful human expletives don't have a place in pony fan fiction. It degrades it somehow.
Insert cliche "You are a cartoon but still real" speech
1460770 NO. This one is just fine. Actually I prefer Ten over Eleven but still...
O shit
I will continue to patiently wait for your next chapter to come out because I absolutly love this story. Good job and keep up the great work.
LOL. Five seconds to break Twilight.,and go... DONE. That may be the best way I have ever heard of destroying someone's mind.
Mr. Dane if you want to huff something pleasant, huff Pinkie or Rarity's hair.
... 
And that was quite the existential crisis there at the end. But maybe that was something else, and Twi is not trembling due to panic.
Gaaah, have to wait for he next one to find out.><
Wow. That's all i can say to the awesomeness that is this chapter and fic...
1460659 1460668 lol
I thought I pieced it together rather well. I mean, she knows he's from out of this world (literally) because there are no humans to her knowledge. She doubted his original statement of 'knowing too much' possibly because she thought that to be improbable, and perhaps because Dane is old. Also because the Elements and their stories are famous. Then when Dash swings by and Dane names things about her that only her friends might know, Twi becomes suspicous. See Dane noted she looked 'out-of-it' as that convo happened? In my opinion, Twi is smart, too smart for her own good. And from the show, we know damn well that she jumps to conclusions sometimes. ie, It's About Time, she immediately assumed some horrible tradgedy was going to happen. So all day, she's been fighting with herself, trying to come to a logical solution to why Dane knew these things about Dash. Finding none, she confronts him. She already assumes it's something bad, that's why she's scared. Dane had already told her that he worked his whole life to get here, this alternate universe. And now he says that he was obsessed with a story so much that he wanted to be IN it. I'd make that connection pretty quick. Wouldn't you?
1460699 Really....? Really.
1460707 Great pic, to be sure, but I don't think it describes this story enough... idk
1460682 1460757 I'll be perfectly honest, it isn't the easiest thing to write. Plus, so many people loving it, I have to try to make each chapter as perfect as I can...
1460737 Aw...
Besides, does having a panic attack count as 'acceptance'? lol
1460766 Old Clint? Like Gran Torino grumbly old man? Maybe... maybe...
1460770 WOW WRONG DOCTOR
1460789 You should totally gimme a youtube link lol
1460818 Is... that a good thing?
1460819 TOTALLY NOT GOING TO KILL HER... nope. You must be mistaken. I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
Thanks for the commendation though! Yea, this story is doing well, I'd say
1460828 I'm sorry... if it's any consolation, remember that we are INSIDE Dane's head. His thoughts might be a bit vulgar at times, he is a human after all. And really the only thing he's said in front of ponies is 'hell.' The 'holy shit' at the end was not yelled, and Twilight is not exactly in a condition to comprehend spoken language at the moment, let alone curse words. lol.
1460831 I'm trying hard to stay away from cliches... but it IS an HiE at the end of the day... However, the speech is more or less already over. Was it cliche so far? I honestly have not read enough of those speeches to know, tbh I can't think of one off the top of my head.
1460979 Go to 6:20.
Out of the goodness of your heart, please don't repeat punctuation like this... I cringed so hard. It's like reading a text instead of a fic. One question mark with an ellipsis would have served your purposes just fine.
1460979
Perfection is overrated
1460668 Thanks Ollie!
That ending... I HAAAATE YOU! Why must it end like that!? I'd be so great if the beans were spilt in one scene! BUT NOOOOO It has to be drawn out. WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME!?
Excellent chapter, by the way. I really want some more. And I understand why you may have had to end the chapter as you did.
1460668 Dude lol you went and edited your comment. But yea, that'd be cool... I like that pic... um... find someone to make it? lol
(sorta)
1460886 IKR!
1460911 Thank you!
1460913 LOL ty! He broke Twilight in ten seconds flat!
1460929 lol... Dash's feather. And you'll have to wait and see... hehehe...
1460947 Wow... right back at ya! I'm amazed that I keep getting responses like this... thank you so much!
cliffhabger...
ihate you when can i expect to seethe next chapter
My speech doesn't include one instance of the word "cartoon" for this very reason.
It can be summarized as follows:
1461025 Don't be too amazed. You're a seriously talented writer to come up with something like this. I can't wait for the next chapters...
oh nos
Existential crisis incoming! All hands on deck! We are issuing a level 5 mental breakdown! Prepare emergency evacuation devices and extreme fallout shelters.
1460993 lol, I was thinking more along the lines of him running to his office, locking himself inside, crawling into a corner, and sucking his thumb until his coworkers managed to break in... lol
1460999 Normally, I would completely disagree with you, and say that I put repeated ?s or !s to emphasize that the character is putting extra emphasis on that particular dialog, or rather, pointedly making their confusion (?) or excitement (!) more obvious. However, in this case, being just an 'OK' which, mind you, I don't really like typing 'OK' at all, but in my mind it's more correct than 'Ok' and 'Okay,' I do see your point, and yes it DOES look like a txt msg. So, I changed it for you, rewording it to keep the emphasis. Thanks for letting me know about it!
1461000 Or... IS IT?
1461017 LOL (jkjk) the beans kinda were spilt. Not all the details, but we'll get to that.
1461034 Yes, those cliffbangers... I hate you too, and um, never. I quit writing just because you said that. LOL JK
1461045 Is that approximately your's or, is that your idea of the cliche?
1461060 Aww... you flatter me...
1460766 Nope
Actually now that you mention it Twilight definitely would. I think I was just thinking about it from my perspective, I would question it quite a bit before coming to the final conclusion. You are doing an amazing job btw, I just figured some lite conversation on your story would be fun. I mean if I was in Twilight's position I would question it and remain a bit more calm I think.
1460979
1461104
if you try too hard on it for too long you may burn yourself out, I would like to see this one finish with him being laid to rest, or something happy
1461104 It's straight-up mine.
All the human in Equestria I've read until now started with either the human half-dead, a communication barrier, or the ponies seeing Earth first.
1460831 Read enough and it all becomes cliche. However, the sign of a good author is incorporating cliche details into an entertaining and original story.
So AWESOME!
Wee! Nice chapter my friend, always look forward to the explanation.
He gave Twilight a heartattack!!!
Poor Dane, he's lost and left a lot.
And Holy Shit!!!
Looking forward to more.
You blew up the machine?! YOU BLEW IT UP?! You selfish, horrible, person. AGHH!!!
1461072 OH TEH NOESES.
And thanks for the praise, it means a lot to me. I'm trying my best with this one.
Thanks!
1461078 SOUND THE ALARM!!!
1461109 Absolutely dude, I love talking about my stories like that. If I sounded like I was going off on you, please forgive me. It's just that I actually put a ton of thought... like 2 weeks' worth... into how all that would happen. Probably shouldn't have said how long that took me but oh well!
1461112 Very true. But if I don't, I'll disappoint. So... shit. I have to find the perfect balance basically.
1461120 Ooooooh...'until now' he says! I'm the uh... game changer? Yea, game changer for that? COOL.
1461123 ....................................... Am I?
1461130
1461145 Glad you're enjoying it! And yea... Dane has. 'Holy shit!' <- Dane's words exactly! Those are pretty much the 2 words that go through my head whenever shit happens. lol.
1461104
Danke schön. And sorry, heat of the moment, etc..
1461177 Wow dude, did you just chug all 4 chapters?
1461184 Bitte. And I understand, no big deal
Excellent chapter! I loved the ending, how suspenseful it was. Had me leaning forward as I read lol.
1461181 Did I say something wrong? That was supposed to come out as a compliment.
WonderfulwonderfulwonderfulWONDERFUL!! Every single chapter you release brings a tear to my eye.
The character personalities, traits, and realistic view of our promised land. It's all just...wow. I can truthfully say as a Brony who has loved the show since the beginning, you sir, have crafted one of my most favourite fanfictions of all time. I not only commend you, but I am fully applauding you. Absolutely wonderful...
Hopefully Twily will be alright and cope well...
Gottverdamnt, Brony, ya broke Twilight. D:
1461204 Suspenseful? Cooool
I just meant, Am I doing that? Am I 'incorporating cliche details into an entertaining and original story'? 
1461212 No, no.