• Published 21st Sep 2012
  • 16,370 Views, 1,822 Comments

The Last Brony Gets His Wish - theRedBrony

I'm a spiteful old man. I've spent my entire life trying to fulfill my wish. The same thing every one of us wants. It's 2070. I'm the last brony alive, 82 years old. But I did it. I created the portal. And I'm jumping through. No regrets.

  • ...

Waking Up






I open my eyes. The brightness hurts, but I fight it.

"You're awake!" I hear.

I look around the blur before me and I barely make out a white blob.

Clip-clop, clip-clop

The blob comes closer. Judging by its shape, color, and movement I can only assume it's a pony.

My heart jumps.

'I'm here!' I think to myself.

I reach out my hand to it and try to say something. My arm feels all tingly.

'Oh buck.'



Everything after that is complete a blur. And not just because of my eyesight. I remember being almost conscious several times, but I don't really remember what happened.

"Are you awake?"

I manage to nod.

"How do you feel?"

I shake my head 'no.'

I hear hoofsteps.

"Doctor, he's awake."

More hoofsteps.

"Well hello there. How are you feeling?"

I shake my head again.

"That's to be expected."

I try to say something, but I quickly realize I have a tube down my throat.

"Please try and relax, I'm afraid you've suffered a myocardial infarction, that is, a heart attack."

I might have guessed…

"But not to worry! You're on the mend now. We expect you to make a full recovery. But for now, you just need to rest."

The next few days pass in a blur. I'm asleep most of the time, but on the rare occasions that I'm lucid enough, I see doctor and nurse ponies, just doing their jobs. It keeps me going. Even the clopping of hooves on tile floor is a very calming, reassuring sound that just puts me at ease whenever I hear it. I'm actually starting to feel better, at least when I'm awake enough to think about that.

One thing that's been concerning me though, not a single pony has asked the question. You know which one.

'What are you?'

There is a slight possibility I wound up in the wrong dimension. You wouldn't believe how many Equestrias had humans. Most had only one or two, but some had lots. We came up with the theory that there was probably at least one dimension for every single fanfiction ever written. There had to be, there was a dimension for everything, anything. I spent years, maybe over a decade, trying to pinpoint the one Equestria that looked the most canon to my eyes. I hope this is it.


I look at the purple blur of a nurse that's approaching me.

"Uh, hello?" the blur greets me. Unusual for a nurse to just stand there and greet me.

I shake my head a little to try and wake up a little more.

"My name is Twilight Sparkle."

Must. Not. Have. Heart attack.

I think the EKG gives away my panic because she gallops off to get a nurse or something.

When she comes back, my heart rate has slowed down a bit, and a white nurse just kind of eyeballs me briefly and leaves the room.

"I'm sorry, did I startle you?"

I nod. Still got the tube in my throat. It's a horrendous thing that makes me feel thirsty all the time. So. Very. Thirsty.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

I try to point to my glasses case which I believe is on the side table.


Oh come on Twilight, I know they're right there. Look where I'm pointing!

"You want this?" She levitates the case.

I nod.

She puts the case on the bed and I struggle to open it. Thankfully she gets the hint and opens it for me.

"Oh! Your glasses, of course!"

My glasses float onto my face and I finally have some sweet clarity. I look around the room and take in as much detail as I can before I gaze upon the lavender mare beside my bed.

Even the Viewer did not do her form justice.

Their eyes are not nearly as big as you'd expect, but still big. That's the first thing I notice. Her colors are all correct, even the pink highlight in her mane. But everything is so rich and real. Her coat is actually what you'd expect a horse's to look like, it has a slight sheen that makes different shades of lavender along the curves of her face where even the tiniest shadow is made by the soft light of this room. And it's flawed. Not in a bad way, though. There's a spot or two where her fur has been matted against the grain of the rest of her coat, like maybe where she scratched an itch. Those tiny imperfections just make it that much more real.

Her muzzle is little longer than what you'd think. Even the whole shape of her face is a lot less round and a lot more real-equine. But she somehow still manages to look nothing like a horse. Her mane is not nearly as perfect as in the show, it's not messed up, but it's just so… real in its imperfection.

As I drink in her form, she seems to be doing the same to me.

Of course, she breaks the silence first, since I'm incapable at the moment.

"What are you?"

Ah, there it is. I relax and let out a sigh. Finally.

"Is your species related to primates?"

I nod. Right down to business, eh Twilight?

"But obviously you're more intelligent."

Nod. Wait. What do you mean 'more'?

"I'm assuming you can talk?"


"Where are you from?"

I stare at her.

"Oh, right, sorry," She says with a sheepish smile. "I just can't wait to ask you everything!"

Oh Twilight… You're just how I've imagined you… all these long years.

"Well, you look tired, I'll let you rest. The doctor says they'll take the… tube out in a couple days."

I watch her leave, and as soon as she's gone, sleep takes me.

A few days pass by, I'm not sure how many, because I'm still sleeping most of the time. They took the tube out a while ago. I can barely talk since that thing's been in there so long. They started feeding me jello. It's alright, but how do they make it? Isn't gelatin usually derived from… hooves?

"You have visitors!" A nurse yells at me from the door.

Twilight canters in. Every pony I see never ceases to amaze me. How their ears and tails express emotions just like their faces. How they walk. Their legs aren't just the stumps that you're used to. They're actual legs, with visible joints, and actual hooves. Twilight's hooves, for example, are just about the same purple as her coat, but since they're enamel and not fur, they're distinguishable.

"How are you?" She greets me with a smile.

"I'm feeling better day by day," I croak.

"I brought a friend with me, I hope you don't mind."

I shake my head 'no.'

"Fluttershy! Come on in!"

My heart jumps at the mention of her name…

Nope, still beating. Fluttershy… will she be as adorable and shy in real life?

She slowly steps in the room, with her long pink mane covering one of her gorgeous aqua green eyes.

Oh my Celestia… yes. Maybe even more adorable. I wonder if they have pacemakers here… I'm gonna need one for all these introductions…

"This is Fluttershy, she's the one that found you!"

"Um… hi…" She squeaks out.

I give her a nod, in addition to the huge smile I'm already wearing.

"And I don’t believe I ever got your name…" Twilight asks.


"Dane? Well, that's an interesting name," Twilight notes. "So where are you from, Dane?" She asks casually, smiling widely.

"Not from this world…"

"What?" Twilight blurts out in surprise, Fluttershy 'eep'-s. Twilight composes herself and asks, "How?" deadpanning in disbelief.


She smirks at the word. "Hm, so what then? You're from another planet?" She asks sarcastically.

"Not exactly. Just a different dimension."

"You mean like… a parallel universe?"

I nod.

"Really? Wow! How did you do it? Did you use magic? What was it like?"

"We don't have magic. Just science. I worked my whole life to get here…"

"Why?" Fluttershy innocently asks.

I open my mouth to answer, but no words come to mind. Why did I do it? I know I went through the portal because I waited my whole life to do it, but what made me want to do it in the first place?

Sure I was a fan, but why forsake my own world, my species, my life, even my family, to come here? I worked for 55 years for a reason that was now lost on me.

"I guess… I came here because of you guys." It's as good a guess as I can make right now.

There's a little confusion and an awkward silence in the room. But I had no intention of lying to them or stringing them along. I'm too old for that crap.

"…For… for us?" Fluttershy asks.

"What? Does that mean you know who we are?" Twilight accuses.

"I know it's kinda creepy… don't hate me for it…"

"Why would we hate you?" Flutters puts her forehooves on the edge of my bed and looks up at me through her flowing pink hair.

"How much do you know about us… exactly?" Twilight inquires.

"Too much."

Twilight looks almost offended. I'm not sure Fluttershy's getting the message. "Well… if you know so much about us… it's only fair we know all about you then."

Well played, Sparkle, well played.

Somehow, Twilight pulls a piece of parchment, a quill, and ink out of nowhere. I'll have to ask her about that sometime. Though I'd put my bits on magic. She also puts on a pair of reading glasses.

"What is your species called?"

"Human," I answer with a smile.

This is actually the first time I'm really witnessing levitation. Almost all the hospital staff are earth ponies with the exception of only a couple unicorn doctors, at least from what I've seen anyway. It's amazing actually. Her purple aura is barely even noticeable. You'd have to be paying attention to see it. And it's more of a faint glow than a rippley, sparkly aura. But it is still a little sparkly.

"And what does your species' diet usually consist of?"

Don't beat around the bush, do you Twi? "We're omnivores… Can't really eat grass or hay or flowers. But I haven't eaten meat for something like… 20 years." I smile contently.

Fluttershy is interested by my response, and cocks her head. "Why wouldn't you eat meat if that's what your species eats?"

"So I could come here." And I damn well came prepared.

"Oh, my…"

"You say you used science to cross universes, I take it your species is technologically advanced?"

"Yes, probably a lot more than you are. Without magic, we've had to make technology to fill our needs."

"Are you a scientist?"

I chuckle at that. "Not officially, but I'd say I should get the honorary title."

She smiles gently. "You say you worked your whole life for this, exactly how old are you? If you don't mind me asking, that is…"

"82, and I've been working towards this since I was…" I think about this for a second. "…27."

"Wow…" Twilight's eyes go wide for a second and she scribbles away on the paper. "Are there any other humans who would want to come here?"

I sigh, "Not anymore…"

Twilight catches on right away. "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Were they your friends?"

I nod. "And my wife..."

She tries to change the subject. "Um… how is it that you become so fond of us and this world?"

I flinch. I didn't expect that question so soon. "Twilight, that might be uh… a hard pill to swallow… maybe we could talk about that later?"

"Ok..." she looks disappointed, as if I'm withholding a juicy piece of gossip from her. "From what I can tell, you're a biped, is that right?"


"Now, when Fluttershy found you, you had a few things with you, other than your clothing and what was in your pockets... A long wooden stick, a small potted plant, and an empty metal can. What are these things?"

"The stick is my cane… it's a walking stick. I can't walk as well as I used to… The plant and the can were things we sent through as an experiment. Just to see if we could."

"And speaking of clothes, do humans always wear them?"

"Ah, yes… we do."

"Why?" Fluttershy asks with a quizzical look on her face.

"Keeps us warm. Got no fur. Also because of our body shape. Certain things are… heh heh… a little too visible… if you catch my drift." I wiggle my eyebrows like the creepy old man that I am.

Twilight goes wide-eyed. "Ah," she says as she looks back to her note paper and scribbles away.

"Oh, my." Fluttershy looks bashfully away from me.

"Actually, I might need some more clothes, Twilight. I didn't have a chance to pack…" I was actually just making a note to myself, that day, that I should pack a suitcase, just in case they got it working.

"Oh that shouldn't be a problem, I'll just ask my friend R…" She suddenly stops and glares at me.

I return her glare with a creepy smile.

"I'm going to pretend you don't know which of my friends is a fashion designer."

"Fine by me, Twi." I continue smiling.

"Right, well, um, I think we'll just let you get some rest. It was a pleasure talking to you!"

"No, no, the pleasure was all mine." I smile at them. "Oh, Fluttershy?"


"Thanks for finding me."

"Oh, um… you're welcome…"

"Good bye then," Twilight says cheerfully.

"Bye…" Flutters meekly bids farewell.

"Bye ladies."

Ah... I could die happy now.

But if I do, I'm gonna be pissed…

Author's Note:

Well if you read this far, I'll assume you're enjoying it! Took me less than a day to write this. It was just one of those ideas that got stuck in my head. It's sort of deep and sad, not my usual forte. In case you haven't guessed, it's basically a self insert, except that I'm a really old fart. I got to thinking… what would happen if I never stopped being a brony?

Anyway, please 'Follow' me, and remember, comments are welcome! And a thumb wouldn't hurt either :)