Pinkamena Diane Pie: Consultant Detective

by Time Pony Victorious

How I Figured Out The Trick

I looked at Pinkie for the umpteenth time today. She gave me a strange look, and I turned away, snickering all the while. I couldn't help but feel particularly ecstatic. Recall the triumphant moments you, my fine readers, go through every day. Like acing a particularly difficult test, or culling a nasty individual that plagued your life for quite some time. Imagine that feeling times one hundred and you might be able to replicate my feelings at that moment.

My regular readers would note my friend, Pinkie Pie's, remarkable deductive powers and how she utilizes such powers in her detective work to solve even the most complex of cases. Her skills were so great she could see through you in an instant and figure out your entire life story from a single glance. I have always wondered how Pinkie acquired such skills, but, my ponderings on those were for a later occasion, as I have perfectly emulated Pinkie's abilities myself!

In the last published case, concerning the disappearance of a former gypsy Bellamena Pie, I was placed in a precarious situation and was forced to use my wit in order to escape with my life. No matter how hard I try to recall, I cannot remember what my mind was going through at that moment. Everything was a blur, but I do remember when I essentially channeled Pinkie's skills and acted as a detective for brief moments.

Now then, my dear readers and the ponies at the Strand Magazine, I have discovered the secrets behind Pinkie's little trick!

I took another sparse glance at the famed detective before breaking out in a huge smile. Pinkie raised an eyebrow at me. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing," I off-hoofedly answered. "I was just, you know, reviewing my notes of our escapades these past few weeks."

"Oh?" She returned with a slight bemused tone, "And what are your findings?"

"That you're right."

"What?"

"Anypony can do what you do, all it takes is a focused mind is all." I spoke so leisurely and casually in a deliberate manner, just to emphasize how significant my words were. An outside observer would claim I was being arrogant. I respectfully disagree.

"Really?" Pinkie smiled coyly, "Go on then, regal me with your newfound skills Twi."

I looked at her once more and quickly confirmed my findings before fully turning to her with a coy smile of my own. "You were distressed this morning when you came over here."

"Really? Pinkie gasped, "How did you arrive at that?"

"Everypony may be quick to call you unkempt, but your hygiene is exceptional! You would never allow yourself to slip into such a slovenly state," I answered, referring to Pinkie's disheveled mane and dirty coat.

"Clever!" she praised, "Your eyes are keen Twi, go on."

"The reason behind it is elementary. Your dental appointment with Colgate had been moved to an earlier time. The papers you carry are addressed from her."

"Amazing!"

"Inky has asked you to investigate something, the mare is smart, yes, but she is horribly lazy and would rather you do the legwork instead of her. The books you are currently studying are concerning domestic animals and their movement patterns. Other than that, I can't see anything else," I concluded proudly.

"As always, nothing escapes you Twi," Pinkie complimented with a warm smile, "You're infinitely clever and perceptive. But, as always, you over-analysis everything."

I stepped back, staggered as if by a physical blow. "What?"

"You see but don't observe," she chided, "You're clever for noticing those details, but your deductions were off. The reason I was so disheveled was because I was at Fluttershy's cottage earlier, digging through the burrows her pets make looking for a pet of Colgate's. In the papers addressed from her were details about the pet, and your books were used as reference."

Suddenly humbled, I frowned as my face heated up and tapped the floor tentatively. Pinkie chuckled as she cupped my cheek and lifted my head up slightly so that she could look at me. Her eyes were the brightest of blue and shined innocently yet held so much wisdom behind it.

"You're smart Twilight, it doesn't take somepony like me to figure that out."

"If I can't make a few simply deductions, what right do I have to be called smart?" I countered curtly.

Pinkie then glared at me, an act so uncharacteristic that I nearly winced at the sight. "Don't you say that Twi. You're the smartest pony I know, smarter than me definitely! The knowledge you have is amazing! You just can't focus on the tinier details, which is my specialty, you can focus on the bigger picture and go from there. Something that is of great value to me, not only as a friend but as a partner as well."

I reddened instantly from her words until I realized she meant work partner.

"You constantly underrate yourself Twi, but you shouldn't sell yourself short. You may not have the detective chops, although you are sharper than others in that regard, you are, for me, the conductor of light that I need by my side." She hugged me tightly. "And besides, you were correct in one aspect, Twi."

"What was that?" I asked, dizzy from her hug and compliments.

"I was a bit distressed this morning, obviously, that's why I came to see you!"

Needless to say, I hadn't advanced much in the detective area, but would give any lovesick filly a run for her money when I giggled senselessly just there.

The Great Detective has a way with words, after all.

Comments

[Prosopeio]

Now THAT was cute! A nice little scene, to be sure. Of course, now I cannot wait to see the back story.... I must know how Twilight came to Ponyville if not to prepare the Summer Sun Celebration! After all, if some OTHER pony were writing Pinkie's tales of logical deduction and Twilight came across them, it would be one thing, but Twilight herself is. No... instead something else brought the Student of Celestia to the peaceful(?) town of Ponyville.Celestia hearing of Pinkie's feats and thinking Twilight would benefit from learning her method? Possibly, but unlikely, since Pinkie's own sister not only does the same, but lives in Canterlot... unless of course, the point was to move away from Canterlot, out of her comfort zone so to speak.
Hmm... that can be a possibility, but for now there are far too many unanswered questions. The most important of which is the Nightmare... AHA! Clever... I may be leaping at assumptions so I can jump to conclusions but... mayhaps that IS the reason she sent Twilight to Ponyville. Early. To make friends (a nice head start for sure) but also to give her the skills required mentally to be prepared for whatever is to come, ie Nightmare and the like. The biggest issue, of course, is that one of your Elements is a generous thief, the other her accomplice, another unaccounted for save for a brief mention, and the last constantly on the move between Ponyville, Canterlot and Cloudsdale.
Still, in the end I'm only grasping at straws, keep up the good work ^^

[ProfCharles]

Hello! This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors

Name of Story: Pinkamena Diane Pie: Consultant Detective
Grammar score out of 10: 6. Your sentances feel stillted and awkward, some feel to long and need to be broken up with a comma or related punctuation. Your dialogue also fails to engage me.
Pros:
Intesting concept—PInkie Pie the great detective in an alt universe where things are slightly different.
I love large chapters—more for your money, and shows that an author has skill at writing.
The whole alt. universe was an unexpected twist that I rather enjoyed. I love a good alt. universe story.
Cons:
In order to make Pinkie appear smarter, you have dumbed down Twilight. In the mystery murder episode, Twilight acted as intelligent as always, she just alowed Pinkie to take the spotlight in order to develop as a character and a person. Here, it feels like Twilight is not acting as intelligently as she should, and is instead allowing herself to be dragged around by the nose by "Pinkie Pie, Greatest Genius Evar!" As a result of the above, Pinkie is feeling a little Mary Sueish, and comes off as a little too perfect and unlikable, whilst Twilight feels slightly OOC.
Twilights infatuation with Pinkie was layed on a little thick and felt heavy handed.
Rarity was unmasked too quickly for my taste.
Notes Section
Overall, you have built a solid concept for a story—an alt universe where Pinkie Pie is Sherlock, and the varied. However, weak grammar and a Pinkie who is too good at whatever she does ruins my ability to enjoy the story—even sherlock had his failings. Twilight doesn't act so much as a foil, but as a wall for Pinkie to make deductions to, and has very little impact upon the story. Idealy, they would be working together, but I am just not seeing that.

I'd recomend fixing the grammar first—that will drasticly increase the readability of the story.

Hope you enjoyed your review! Please help me out by looking at my story: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/51682/my-little-evangelion

[DarkwingSnark]

A cute little scene that really lightens the mood, after the family drama of the last two chapters. And nice to see Twilight's ego get knocked down a peg, only for Pinkie to help her companion feel better again. Plus, what can I say? I'm a sucker for a good Twinkie Pie, and mixing Sherlock Holmes with it just makes it even more entertaining.

[Imperfect Perfectionist]

1886349

You have to remember though, this is an alternate universe. From what I can tell, there's no nightmare moon, and no elements. That means what happened might be significantly different.