Deadpool in Equestria 2: Electric Boogaloo

by MrAquino

A Hearths Warming special

Some time had passed ever since Deadpool had landed in the universe of G5. Enough time that, in fact, it was winter time, and more specifically-

"HEARTHS WARMING!!!" Deadpool shouted, setting a tree up in Izzy's home. The entire place was decorated with faux snowflakes, lights, cookies, peppermints, anything the read Christmas really. Izzy, however, looked very confused.

"Um… Deadpool?" She asked. "What is this? I like all the sparkly stuff, don't get me wrong, but what are you doing?" Deadpool propped next to her.

"It's Hearths Warming, Izzy! Equestria's version of Christmas AND the Fourth of July!"

"... What?" Deadpool frowned.

"Oh boy, you really don't know. Ok, what do you normally do around this time?"

"Like most unicorns, I try to stay indoors as much as possible to stay warm, have some fun in the snow, and head to the tea shop for some warm tea and/or buy the ingredients for my own."

"... And you don't catch up with family and friends, perhaps give each other gifts, and wish each other a happy new year, even if you secretly hate each other?"

"... No." Deadpool groaned.

"God, this world SUCKS!!!" He took a deep breath. "And if you unicorns don't celebrate Hearths Warming, then it's safe to assume that the pegasi and earth ponies don't either."

"Well, we're back together, so maybe Sunny may know?"

"Pfft! Yeah, and follow pony Rey Skywalker? No thanks." He quickly put on a scarf and beanie, walking out to the front door.

"Where are you going!?"

"To Zephyr Heights! They may have the best gifts for anyone!" He walked through the door, looking like he was going to slam it, but went slow and gentle with it. But as he left, a portal opened, and Cable fell through it.

"Wade!" Cable shouted "We need you to-!"

"He just left for Zephyr Heights." Izzy interrupted. "Said something about getting gifts for everyone."

"Crap! We need to aid him, ASAP!!! A dangerous creature just arrived, and is going to attack everyone!"

"What's happening!? What creature is going to attack?"

"It's hard to explain, but make sure everyone locks their homes, get rid of any device that uses electricity, and use any liquid sparingly." He pulled out a huge laser Assault rifle, cocking it with a loud warm up. "And don't leave until we say so."

---

Deadpool walked through the streets of Zephyr Heights. With pegasi now flying in the air, walking around was much easier, though their attention is still more connected with their phones than the air.

Says the man who's writing this on their phone.
Yeah! Don't you dare act like a boomer on us, ya millennial!

Guys! I was born in 1996! I'm only a millennial depending on the website you look at.

"Yeah, he's a bit right in that area. But what to get the others…?"

"Psst! Right here." A creepy voice asked. Deadpool looked to his left to see a shady looking pony in a dark alleyway. "Yeah, you, skinny penis, ya want something neat?"

"Oh? Are you one of those Mexican doctors who wants to give me some drugs and take one of my kidneys while I'm knocked out?"

"Uh… no…." He threw away a bottle that broke before clearing his throat. "I actually got something you may want. An exotic pet, if you will."

"Hate to break it to you, but this is a magical cartoon land where animals have magic in them. I think an exotic pet would just be something like a normal dog or cat."

"Oh no, Skinny. Take a look at this." He pulled out a cage, and in it was a small, Bipedal creature covered in very soft looking fur, with huge ears and equally huge eyes. It made an adorable cooing sound, looking at Deadpool and-

"OH S##T!!! A GREMLIN!!!" He grabbed the cage and threw it into the open street. It made a loud shriek as it's skin began to burn up and dissolve, the flesh coming off it's skeleton before said skeleton became a puddle of ooze. A moment of silence came between the two.

"... What was that for!?" Deadpool turned to the sketchy pony.

"I know for a fact that THAT was not Gizmo! I've seen Gremlins 1 and 2, and those things are not to be taken so seriously! Especially since they're the reason why we have the minions." He shivered. "But where did you get that!?"

"Um… I… can't… it's classified!"

"Classified my ass!" He pulled a desert eagle out and shot it between the pony's hooves, making said pony scream. He aimed it right at the pony's face. "There's another one going right between your eyes if you don't tell me!"

"... The castle! In the research area! The guards found these creatures and I took one of the cages for myself! Please don't shoot me, Skinny Penis!" A pause came between the two, followed by Deadpool giggling to himself.

"Ah… if only I can get scammers to say that… alright, now get the f##k outta here! I've got a castle to save!" The pony nodded and ran away, tripping over the cage as it ran away. Deadpool cracked his neck as he walked out of the corner and headed to the castle.

---

Zip and Pip sat across from each other with their mom's pomeranian between them, napping. Pip was busy looking at her phone yet again as Zip just looked rather board.

"Ugh! Can you believe this!" Pip exclaimed. "Deadpool has been selling artwork and claims they're something called NFTs! It's just a canvas he painted and it doesn't even look that good!"

"Right," Zip replied. "But he's doing something and giving his fans what they want." Their dog's ears twitched and it stood up, growing at the open doorway. "What's wrong, Cloudpuff?" The sound of something breaking was heard, followed by some laughter.

"Ok, what was that?"

"Should we investigate?"

"You can! I'm staying in here to tell my fans to buy my NFTs!"

"Pip! This sounds serious! And you can't paint!"

"Oh yeah? Stay and watch!" Another crash was heard, sounding closer. Cloudpuff got up and started barking, heading to the source.

"No! Cloudpuff!" Zip ran after the dog. Pip opened a drawing app on her phone and began to doodle something.

"Hmm… maybe a monkey will do…"

Zip cautiously walked through the castle halls. Everything seemed to be a bit more barren than usual. She heard more crashing, and what sounded like laughter. Little kids causing a ruckus? But the guards should've been here to deal with it. She stopped as a plate was thrown, nearly hitting her face. It came from the kitchen. She peaked around the corner, seeing some weird, short and bipedal creature; it was a bit reptilian looking, with huge ears, and some stripe-like patterns across its body. Said creature was eating some cookies the staff had most likely premiered. Her heart beated rapidly as it turned around, and she barely retracted her head back. She screamed, but was muffled as someone put a hand over her mouth. Her eyes looked up to see Deadpool had grabbed her from behind.

"Shh!" Deadpool shushed. "Don't… scream. Ok?" She nodded. He released her mouth.

"Why did you do that!?" Zip asked through gritted teeth.

"Sorry, but I didn't want you to get hurt. That's a gremlin, and I'm fairly sure there's more."

"More?"

"More. Somepony was trying to sell me one, saying they got it from this castle's research station. Try to find out where they found these guys, maybe the researchers, and try to get you and your sister to safety."

"...And you?" Deadpool pulled out a knife.

"I'm the best there is at what I do, and what I do is referencing 80's movies." Zip looked a bit confused.

"Um… ok… I'll leave you be." She walked away slowly before sprinting away. Deadpool readied his knife, as he noticed the same gremlin going head first into a blender.

Ooh! Ooh! Just like the movie!
Spoilers for anyone who's never seen it.

Deadpool quickly sprinted forward and turned on the blender. The Gremlin made a painful screech as the blender began to slice it into sludge, with green guts and gore coming out and decorating the kitchen wall nearby. A nearby gremlin hissed at Wade, throwing a knife at his left shoulder. It hit.

"AWW!!! MOTHER F##KER!!!" He yelled. The gremlin laughed at him. "Oh you think this is funny!?" With the knife already in his hand, he threw it at the gremlin, hitting it in its shoulder. It made a loud screech as Deadpool ripped the knife from his shoulder and sprinted to the gremlin, repeatedly stabbing it in it's chest, getting the green blood across his face. "Yeah! Not so funny now is it, b###h!?" A plate was thrown at the back of his head. He turned to see a third gremlin snarling at him. "Oh you want some too!?" Deadpool quickly ran and grabbed the gremlin with both hands. It struggled in his grasp, even biting one of his hands. Wade then proceeded to charge into a wall with it, knocking it into the door frame, knocking it down for a bit. He then grabbed the door and repeatedly shut the door against the gremlin's head, until a satisfying crack was made, with the head becoming a splatter against the floor and the body lying motionless.

"WHOO!!! Yeah baby! That's what I've been waiting for! That's what it's all about!" He stopped. "Why do I hear the Gremlins theme?" The sound of screaming was heard as he looked outside of the kitchen window. It was pure pandemonium; the sun was practically gone, and Gremlins roamed the streets freely, with buildings on fire, various ponies being attacked, and the the electronic billboards showing the news.

"We're under attack!" One of the news pegasi shouted. "Almost out of nowhere, Zephyr Heights is under attack by some unknown creatures! Everyone! Run! Get out of here and don't-!" The familiar laughter of Gremlins were heard, followed by some attacking the news anchor, and a few others messing up the place, with the camera being turned around rapidly, followed by it being knocked over, a loud crack, and the screen going blue.

My God…
... Did we really take that long to get inside the castle?

"Well we didn't know much about it, so-" the sound of a dog whining was heard. Deadpool quickly ran out to see a few other Gremlins chasing the flying pomeranian, now losing much of it's fur. Pip's screams echoed through the castle, with her running through the halls, followed by a dozen more Gremlins, each wearing a helmet of the royal guard, laughing maniacally. Deadpool whistled loudly, getting the Gremlins attention.

"Oi! Pick on someone with an OnlyCritics account." He said, pulling a sword out. The gremlins let out a battle cry and charged at him. Deadpool kicked one out a window before swiftly decapitating it, grabbing the helmet and threw it at another gremlin, knocking it unconscious. One of the gremlins jumped onto his face, biting into it.

"GAAAH!!! MUTHA FU-!!!" Deadpool screamed, ripping the gremlin off of his face and throwing it to the floor. It charged back at him. "F##K THIS!!!" He pulled out an uzi and fired at the gremlin, riddling it with bullets, then turned to the others, massacreing the rest. As he was finished, the lights of the castle went off, alongside the entire city, leaving everyone under darkness with only true source of light being the moon. His cellphone rang, prompting the merc to answer it.

"Joe's Pizzeria and abortion clinic; today's loss is tomorrow's sauce."

"Wade!" Cable on the other line spoke. "Can you hear me!?"

"Oh! Cable! How's it going man?"

"Wade! We need to stop all of these Gremlins before they take over the world!"

"... Would that really be so bad?"

"Think of Izzy."

"... Crap. Alright, give me a sec."

"No! Wade! I have a plan! You need to-!" Deadpool hung up. He pulled out a megaphone and walked out of the castle, where the gremlins were still causing a riot. He pressed the button, making a loud beep, getting the attention of all of the gremlins, before proceeding to speak into it.

"Attention all Gremlins! The Moon's light is actually the sun's light reflecting from the moon! You are all technically still under daylight. Thank you for listening." He tossed the megaphone to the side and crossed his arms with a smirk under his mask. The gremlins just stared and looked at each other, then to the moon. After a few seconds, they began to shake violently, followed by their heads exploding, becoming a green, gorey fireworks show, with gremlin bodies melting under the moonlight.

Now if only Blade used that logic on vampires!
Well at least we didn't go into detail about how the Moon's reflected sunlight produces less radiation than the sun's.
Who was that sketchy pony anyway?
I think we're about to find out.

---

In the middle of the woods, the sketchy pony strolled through, taking a deep breath. Green flames consumed her form as she changed into another creature; it was still equine in shape, but with a black exoskeleton and holes in it's legs. She was definitely taller than anyone, with a blue, silk-like mane and tail, with piercing green eyes.

"That stupid… Skinny penis…" She grumbled. "Ruining one of my good plans."

"You mean OUR good plan?" A make figure spoke. Walking in was a Centaur, pretty huge and buff, with a red face & arms, black torso with grey bottom, and white mane and tail.

"You should let me do the selling next time, Chryssy." A child spoke, a filly to be exact. She was a Pegasus, pink coat, with curly blue mane and tail.

"I was making a sale!" The insectoid equine hissed. "But that… guy… that… Skinny penis…"

Laughter was heard. All three jumped to see Deadpool laughing as he entered.

"Oh boy! You villains are stupid!" He laughed before gaining his composure. "Wassup, Tirek, Chrysalis, and Cozy Glow? Finally got out of your stone imprisonment? Or maybe you have been out but just need to know what the hell happened and how everything changed so drastically?"

"... Have we met?" Tirek asked.

"No… but in an alternate universe." He teleported between all three of them. "The name's Deadpool! It rhymes with 'old school'! 'Too cool', 'Ain't no fool', and 'I'm the best there is at what I do.'"

"... Why are you here?" Cozy Glow asked.

"Ah yes, I'm actually here to apologize to the audience ahead of time."

"... what?" All three asked simultaneously.

"Yeah… audience, you should know that this is following G5, and since the movie never gave any cohesive answer on anything, only more questions, there's a good chance that this Legion of Doom won't be joining at all. But to be safe, I shall send them where G4 sent it's various unused characters that were important but are never used anymore; The pit of Forgettability!"

"... The pit of what?" Chrysalis asked. A mouse icon appeared and clicked on Chrysalis, promptly deleting her from existence.

"What the-!?" Tirek yelled. "Chrysalis! Where did you-!?" The mouse clicked and deleted the tirek. Cozy Glow saw the mouse and backed away from it.

"Y-you don't want me!" She tried to reason with it. "I'm just a wittle fiwwy and I want-"

Click. Delete.

Deadpool sat down, getting a cigarette out.

"Yeah, if G5 doesn't bring them back, let Hasbro know that G5 should've been it's own continuity like the other generations. Or at least, go more wild.'

Author's Note:

A little bit late, I know. I originally planned to have the mega madness parody play in that tea shop, but I fear that if I went through, then this would be published in January. But yes, I hope you all had great holidays, and hopefully, G5 will answer if their Legion of Doom will return or not.

Comments

[Booster Spice]

I like the bit where the Gremlins get sucked into the water intake fans of a nuclear power station, so they start multiplying, get minced, irradiated, then erupt from the cooling towers as Kaiju.

[TheNewFrederick]

Oh nah. This sequel's gonna be good.

[hunterjackson2001]

When will this story be updated?