• Member Since 4th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 25 minutes ago

Estee


On the Sliding Scale Of Cynicism Vs. Idealism, I like to think of myself as being idyllically cynical. (Patreon, Ko-Fi.)

T

Running a library is a lot of work, especially when you're doing it all by yourself. But the Bearers are out of town, a little dragon wasn't allowed to participate in the mission, it's the sort of autumn day where all of Ponyville wants to curl up with a book -- and just to make things worse, Twilight was running a Print Your Own Story event. Add in the boxes upon boxes of fresh Release Day hardcovers, and Spike just has too much to do.

So why not let the patrons do it themselves? What's the hazard in allowing ponies to check out (and print) their own books with no supervision whatsoever? The library has rules. Surely you can't get a card unless you understand that.

Spike thinks ponies understand rules.

It's a mistake he's only going to make once.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 43 )

Ah, memories of youth, when our misguided social studies teacher let everybody in the class print a copy of their report for each of the other students. Too long in a room filled with mimeograph fluid vapors is not really a child-friendly activity. It was educational, though. I think my mother kept all of the reports. Something to take to my (mutters quietly under breath) class reunion.

"Spike?" The adolescent's voice was also deciding what it wanted to be: there was some difficulty in committing to a register. "The printer is jammed."
Lone Star!

Without even having read it yet (sorry, fourteen hour day at work), I have a feeling this was inspired by recent events.

10989673
My sister's English teacher made the mistake of telling students to bring in a poem & got 27 poems by Rod McKuen :facehoof:

This story made me miss my hometown library. Made me remember when I was so frustrated that I couldn't check out more than three books at the same time and cursing at the unfairness of that rule or that when the new stuff came in, somebody else got it before me.

Ah memories.

Great story Estee

Oh and for a moment I thought with horror that Mister Flankington was here to print his own cookbook...

Spike has become Lord Spike of the Aethenium, Master of All He Surveys.

🧐 So Lyra is a zebra, eh? 🦓

Leave it to some snot-nosed, braindead brat and his failure of a father to come up with a scheme like that. And both be dumb enough to think it would actually work. This would be funny if it weren't for the fact we're living in times with people this stupid...

And this is why the world of Generation 5 is the mess it is. They don't need external enemies because their own stupidity, non-existent record keeping and herd instinct do quite nicely to muck things up.

Love your writing style; made what could have been a somewhat mundane story into something engaging, comic and wildly relatable for all 14k words, which is certainly much more than I expected to read judging from the title and description but managed to sustain my interest anyway.

I may have mentioned this before, but given anthractie's effects on Spike's digestion, I have to wonder if diamonds are an even worse booby trap. Though given how the alignment of the crystals has an impact on flavor, it could be more complicated than "It's just carbon."

And she'd also started the process of inadvertently creating a new mythology, because there were ponies all over town locking their bedroom doors against the approach of the Fearsome Gerund. None of them were entirely sure what it was, and every last pony had decided it could kill.

This got a big laugh from my roommate, the English tutor.

And it was obvious that ponies were reading everything, followed by sticking to the Rules. Because if they weren't, then they wouldn't checking things out!

Yeah, that's definitely Twilit logic right there.

dust meant to create feather highlights could take months to be fully brushed out of her teeth.

Huh. Does this explain Cadence's feather gradients in-verse?

Darn, Georg beat me to the Spaceballs reference.

A trembling right foreleg lifted itself from the soapbox, jabbed out towards the unicorn.
"MUTANT!"

I didn't know Roseluck was from Genosha.

"Anything anypony else already did is easy. Or they wouldn't have been able to do it."

:moustache: "Really? Have you tried raising the sun?"

It astonishes me that one of the kindest, most empathetic ponies in Ponyville was inspired by, of all beings, Sheldon J. Plankton.

So far, all I've got is 'nomenclature squatting'. Which doesn't feel quite right...

"Identity theft" is right out. They clearly aren't changelings. :derpytongue2:

"So. Discord. You've been around for a while."
"And your sister is a bit high-strung. Your point being?"
"Were ponies always like this, or did you do something to them?"
"Ah. My dear boy, speaking as a fellow being looking at the herd from the outside, I wish I could take credit for it."

Hilarious stuff, it a bit sad in terms of what people try to get away with without supervision. Thank you for it. (And yeah, they definitely could've called in some assistants for Spike during the pre-holiday rush. 20/20 hindsight and all.)

Cotton Cloudy... Awww, sorta sad? Hope things go well for her...

Huh, speaking of parents and stuff, Cotton Cloudy's isn't any help?

Lol, that ending scene! Speaking of magic being gone... How's Science Fiction doing post-Tirek?

----

Typo:

his feet his > his feet hit

"How were you able to keep Spike out of jail after he mauled and ate the Flower Trio?"
"'Aggressive, inadvertent littering.' Even has a statue in the penal code."
"...yea, I can see that. It works."

ama
ama #14 · 4 weeks ago · · ·

The little dragon sniffed the air, fought the urge to faceclaw. However, as a groan, "Raspberry?" was permissible.

Only one stallion would dare give me Raspberry... Lone Star...

It's always a good day when a young dragons fancies turn to bochords.

I like how Spike might have been part of the problem, but when he realized it immediately became part of the solution. That's something the Bearers need to learn how to do.

Good little tale here. "Spake" is always a fun perspective to visit. Thanks for writing it.

This was a cute one with a nice variety of things going wrong for poor Spike. Personally, I think Cotton Cloudy is a future best-selling author.

Excellent, Estee! Big fun, very funny.

I forgot to mention that I really appreciate that this was a Spike story. You write good ones and I it's always a treat to learn more about your interpretation of him.

Especially love how a growl or a roar from him can make a crowd stop in it's track. :rainbowlaugh:

As usual, you have caused me to laugh, rage, and despair. Mostly the latter.

"A lot of mares get premenstrual syndrome," Roseluck unlogicked. "It makes them irritable. And Princess Luna's irritable just about all the time, so can you imagine how bad it is when she gets it? It would just about turn her into a monster. So she channels it into Moon. Which radiates it. And makes more monsters."


"I just realized something about Nightmare Moon," Roseluck added in a reverent hush. "How many centuries of PMS coming back to her at once --"

Plot twist: Bon Bon was actually trying to mercy kill Roseluck before Luna found out about this, and had a chance to enter her dreamscape.:rainbowlaugh:

10990123
Heh, 20/20 hindsight has taken on a whole new meaning in this day and age. And we can't even blame Discord for it!

"'Then they had sex.'"

Congratulations, Cotton, you're the new Rainbow Dash!

10989992
What does this story have anything to do with G5:applejackconfused:

10991419
It points us to the mindset that leads to the mess made of things: the herd instinct, the blindness to history and precedent and the need to play the innocent are all still there.

10991444
thinks and calculates

Ok checks out.
The new film does have those themes (tho I don't know what herd instinct is)

Blindness to actual history I somewhat see what you're talking but I can only say it roughly matches because I think it's theme is more on misinformation or misrepresentation

10991453
As we see in the film, it's awfully easy to stampede them into doing something stupid. All you need is the right mixture of bullshit and the instinctive drive to run mindlessly in response to a perceived threat.

10991491
Interesting...

Welp nice talking but for now... time to make some theories on G5:pinkiecrazy:
this shit's gon' be goooood

10991444

It stop being funny when you think in the anti-mask and MAGA rallies, and realize those are just the more recent examples.

Critical thinking should be a mandatory course in public education.

10991541
Yes, it should. It would make it hard to stupid people to wield unearned power.

"then they wouldn't checking things out"
"then they wouldn't be checking things out"?

"All because he'd hadn't applied the lesson"
"All because he hadn't applied the lesson"?

"purse. a quarter-ream of papers clutched between her teeth"
"purse. A quarter-ream of papers was clutched between her teeth"?

"I think there were a few ponies were waiting for that one"
"I think there were a few ponies waiting for that one"?

"boring," the colt decide. "Or something"
"boring," the colt decided. "Or something"?

"Can't set me in fire, can't scratch"
"Can't set me on fire, can't scratch"?

"while a first were first-time efforts receiving strong promotion"
"while a few were first-time efforts receiving strong promotion"?

"what had become evidence box"
"what had become the evidence box"?

"can keep that up." A forehoof scrapped at the floor. "Introduce themselves. Then one of them says 'Give me your name.' Exactly that phrasing, Spike. 'Give.' And the"
"can keep that up." A forehoof scrapped at the floor. "Introduce themselves. Then one of them says 'Give me your name.' Exactly that phrasing, Spike. 'Give.' And the"?

Thank you, as usual, for writing. :)

I really hope Flankington has a resistance to his own cooking. He deserves a better lot.

And she'd also started the process of inadvertently creating a new mythology, because there were ponies all over town locking their bedroom doors against the approach of the Fearsome Gerund. None of them were entirely sure what it was, and every last pony had decided it could kill.

Just wait until they hear about the Dread Gazebo.

ponies all over town locking their bedroom doors against the approach of the Fearsome Gerund. None of them were entirely sure what it was, and every last pony had decided it could kill.

:rainbowlaugh:

Spake.

"You told me who you were," the colt smirked. "And I wrote down your name first. So that means I own it."

:facehoof: Does this colt have a death-wish or is he really that arrogantly stupid?

10989833 Beware, if you damage his books he'll have you torn apart by angry autonarchs atronachs!

10992601 They just need to attack it with fire. :pinkiehappy:

10992762

:facehoof: Does this colt have a death-wish or is he really that arrogantly stupid?

Embrace the healing power of "and."

10989859
Somebody posted a bunch of plagiarized stories using autoapproval, and then got banned.

Not the first time that’s happened, either. There was one other notorious account not that long ago, can’t remember the username. I think they followed me but apparently didn’t find any of my stories were worth stealing. Oh well.

10995045
You're referring to TheScottishbroney2 who plagiarized tons of stories on here. They continue to make new accounts and get banned a lot.

This was long and detailed for a one shot story.

10996253
That seems like such a silly hobby to have, but I suppose to each his or her own.

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