• Published 24th Sep 2021
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Niro's Incredibly Average day At the Bar - Spazz Kid



Just an average day in the life of Niro Ashnidon, drinking at the bar.

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Drinkin' n stuff

Ponyville's local pub is a place that Niro liked to frequent quite often.
He'd usually walk in, buy a glass or two of beer, talk to some ponies, and head home.

But this time, he didn't come for a glass or two of that weak lightweight shit.
He came to drown his sorrows.

Why? Well, his marefriend dumped him for this random earth pony she met, and his mom is sick, and his dad is not keeping up financially, and his brother....

Actually, he didn't even know where his brother was. But that doesn't matter, he was gonna drink so much that his fucking kidneys were gonna rot.

Entering the bar, he immediately went to the bar counter, and sat between two ponies; this pink earth pony mare, and this pale white unicorn stallion with a black mane that was a bit taller than him. He immediately called over Nova Storm, the barkeep.

"Long night, Niro?" Nova asked.

"Yeah.." Niro replied.

"Well, what can I get ya?" Nova pulled out a large glass mug and sat it on the counter.

Niro pulled out some bits, and set them on the counter."Raging Manticore Whiskey, please." Nova swiped the bits from the counter.

"Alright, I'll be right back." Nova then walked down the bar, presumably to look for the bottle of whiskey.

"Wow." A voice came from Niro's right. He looked over. It was the unicorn stallion. He had a pair of goggles sitting behind his horn. "That's some strong stuff. Think you can handle it?" He took a swig from his own pint.

"Yeah. I can manage." Niro replied, looking back at the counter.

"Alright." The unicorn continued. "So, what, uh, happened to you?" He took another swig of his pint.

"What's it to you?" Niro asked, looking back at him.

"Just asking." The unicorn took yet another swig of his drink, this time emptying the mug. He set it down. "Name's Backtrack, by the way."

Niro looked at him with his blue eyes, right into Backtrack's purple ones, deciding whether or not he should introduce himself to this guy. Common courtesy eventually took over. "Niro." He looked back to the counter.

"So, uh.." Backtrack said, waiting for Niro to answer his question.

Niro sighed. "My marefriend left me, and took most of my money with her."

"Ah." Backtrack said, nodding understandingly. "That'll do it..." He stretched. "I've had that happen, like, once or twice, maybe. It always sucks."

"Yeah." Niro nodded glumly.

"Alright." Nova had returned, a bottle held in one wing (She's a pegasus, by the way), and a glass in the other. "One bottle of Raging Manticore." She set the bottle and glass next to each other. "Just try not to drink it all." She looked at the mare. Niro had forgotten she was there. "Berry? You okay?" Nova asked her.

Berry looked up. She hiccuped. "I'm doin' jus' fineee..." She slurred, knocking back the rest of her massive mug.

"Whatever you say.." Nova said, worried somewhat, before walking away to serve other patrons.

Niro looked at Berry, and Berry looked back at Niro. Now that Niro thought about it, Niro had seen her here many times, always incredibly drunk, and always with her head on the counter. Niro always thought she was incredibly depressed, but the dopey smile on her face kind of made him consider otherwise.

"Heya, han'some. How ya doin'?" She asked him, wobbling slightly. She tried taking another sip of her drink, but it was still empty.

"Uh..." Niro tried to think of something to say, but couldn't come up with anything.

"Hey Berry." Backtrack said from behind Niro. "Leave him alone, he's gone through a bad break-up." He chuckled slightly.

Berry and Backtrack proceeded to make conversation, revealing just how drunk Berry actually was. The sloppy way she formed her sentences, to the way she kept trying to drink out of her empty mug. Meanwhile, Niro was idly sipping on his whiskey, regretting his choice of drink, it had a very odd texture, and the taste of the alcohol itself stabbed at his taste buds.

"Oh come on!" Berry exclaimed at Niro. "Just chug it!" She weakly slapped the counter.

"Yeah, chug it!" Backtrack said, sipping on his somehow full pint. Maybe he ordered a refill when Niro wasn't paying attention? Probably, it doesn't matter.

"Chug it! Chug it! Chug it!" Backtrack and Berry began a chant, and somehow, for some reason, random patrons, shit-faced or not, began joining in. A small crowd began to form around the three of them, and Niro began to sweat nervously. "CHUG IT! CHUG IT! CHUG IT!" The crowd were now yelling, and the pressure on Niro began to intensify. He could see Nova trying to calm everyone down, but it obviously wasn't working.

Niro looked down at his still full glass, then to the ponies shouting at him. He looked back to the glass, and deciding his fate, hesitantly reached his left hoof forward, and wrapped it around the glass, and brought it close to his face.

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" They were even louder now, and even more aggressive.

The closer he brought the glass to his mouth, the louder, and more powerful the chanting became. Wanting to get it over with, he quickly brought it to his mouth, and knocked it back, letting it pour down his throat. The chanting was so loud that it shook the bar. It burned his throat like fire. His eyes began to water slightly, and he forced himself to close them.

After nearly a solid minute, the liquid stopped pouring, and the chanting transformed into a thunderous cheer.

"THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Backtrack shouted.

"YEAH!" Berry slurred loudly.

The crowd began to disperse.
Niro couldn't believe what just happened. He hadn't even been in there an hour yet, but he had already been cheered into chugging a full glass of whiskey. He felt... weirdly proud of himself. He knew that it was going to absolutely fuck him over in the morning, but he didn't care.

"Wow. Never started a chant before." Backtrack said, surprisingly calm despite practically screaming net even a minute ago.

"Yo!" A raspy voice came from behind them. Backtrack replied before Niro could turn around.

"Hey Dash. What're you doing around here?" Backtrack had turned to face her. Niro did a slightly drunken double-take. He knew that name anywhere... Niro turned to face her and-

"Yo! Dude!" Rainbow Dash, the Element of loyalty herself stood right there, a pair of goggles sitting on her forehead. She walked over to Backtrack. "I was flyin' by when I heard some really loud chanting. Was that for you?" Rainbow looked at him expectantly.

"Nope. It was for him." Backtrack pointed at Niro. "The guy chugged an entire glass of Raging Manticore-"

"Holy shit, Raging Manticore?!" Dash exclaimed. She looked at Niro with an impressed grin. "And he's still awake! Damn! I don't know anyone who can do that!" She walked closer to Niro, and held out her left hoof. "Name's Rainbow Dash, but you probably already know that. What's your name?"

Niro, who had just been staring in wide - eyed shock, grabbed her hoof in a shake. "Niro Ashnidon."

Dash's brow furrowed. "Weird name..."She muttered.

"Yeah, I know." Niro nodded. It was at this point his mind became rather foggy, and his train of thought started wobbling off track.

"Well, it was nice meeting you." Dash was saying. "But I have to head home. I have a long day tomorrow. See ya, Backtrack!"
She started walking away.

"Later, Dash!" Backtrack waved Rainbow off as she walked out the door. He turned to look at Niro with an indescribable look on his face. Then he laughed. "Damn dude! Your face is red as hell!"

"Really?" Niro asked. Now that he thought about (or tried to, at least), his head didn't feel too good.

"Yeah.." Berry said. "It's really noticeable..."

"Says you.." Backtrack teased. He was right, Berry's face was probably redder than a tomato at this point. "You drink so much, that you're started to get used to it."

"Oh come on..." Berry leaned forward, toward Backtrack. She looked at him with a very.... odd expression. "...you know you love me~."

Niro felt very uncomfortable.

"Yeah. I do." Backtrack replied, taking a swig of his drink.

Berry went back to her normal sitting position, and looked at Niro again.

"You got a special somepony?" Berry asked randomly.

"Uh, no. Not anymore." Niro replied, failing to show full sadness because of his slowly failing mental state.

She took another swig of her still empty mug. "You still a virgin?"

"Pardon?" Niro asked, slurring slightly.

"Alright, I see." Berry set her mug down. She looked at Backtrack, who was staring at her with an amused expression. They nodded at each other.

"Uh, what's going on?" Niro asked.


Niro's head really hurts. Thankfully he had this really soft pillow to lay it on!

Wait, hold on.... What is it moving?

Niro opened his eyes to pale white fur.
The events of the previous night began to enter his mind.

He sat up and looked around. He was sitting next to Backtrack, the unicorn from last night, and Berry, the mare from last night, was sitting in a chair off to the side, a camera on the arm of it. They were both asleep.

Niro didn't know exactly what happened the previous night, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know.
What he did know, however, was that he needed some sleep.

He laid back down, rubbing his temple with his hoof.

Author's Note:

This is bad.

Sorry, it's just that I've entered the filler-stage of my writing.

This story was mean't meant to be much more centered on Slice-of-life, but I'm bad at writing so I settled on this.

Your regularly scheduled dog-shit will return soon.

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