Instead of dealing with the sudden attack of the changelings, Twilight Sparkle faces a dilemma that she is far less prepared for: her brother getting married...to another stallion! And not just any stallion, but her former foalsitter Prince Bolero! The stallion that she had a crush on back when she was a filly! Or at least she thought she had a crush on him, her parents certainly teased her enough when she got older. Nonetheless, how will Twilight make peace with not only who they are, but who she is?
Contest entry for the M/M Shipping Contest.
Contains lots of internalized homophobia, not entirely accepting parents, conflict between family and friends, Rule 63 Princess Cadance, a gay stallion wedding, lesbian/bisexual Mane 6, and a happy ending.
Cover art by JaquelinDreamz
Interesting idea, not something I have seen before. Curious to see where this goes
so far the plot is very interesting, i already want to see how the story unfolds
Howdy, hi! Thank you for your entry into the contest. It has been recorded and we look forward to reading it when the judging approaches.
As an aside: most of those downvotes will have nothing to do with any expressed homophobia in your story. Sadly for whatever reason, FIMFic lately loves to extract a toll on anyone who writes anything with queer themes, especially anything masculine gay or trans (either/or.) The end result is you'll get a lot of downvotes on said stories. Don't worry about them. Focus on what you see in comments.
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Hey, that's super cool of you to say, I really appreciate that and I'll continue to focus on my story and the comments 🙂
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Same. Pretty much every story of gender swapped ShiningCadance is female Shining; Male Cadance and Chrysalis are practically non-existent in comparison.
You did a very good job with the first chapter, itching to see what's going to happen next!
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I wanted to jump in and say I agree with this - I've noticed that any time I post a lesbian or hetero story, I'll get a couple of cursory downvotes, but anything M/M (even worksafe) is often a 50-50 downvote to upvote ratio. I'm lucky to get more upvotes than downvotes sometimes, sad to say. It can be very discouraging, so I hope you won't take that personally. :) Best of luck in the contest!!
I just wanted to say I always (generally if done well which this is obiviously) stories that tackle that ugly learning part of life. Where you can either stick your head deeper into the sand or throw off the dirt and grim to see the sun.
I actually like (personally) stories that do that most. A few other nlp stories come to mind. It's just wouldn't you rather read a story about fighting the good fight then seeing how wonderful and amazing and...
Yeah this is gonna be good
Don't let the downvotes get you down. This is a very interesting story so far, as I am sure it will be an enjoyable read.
Tracked and tagged, interesting premise with this. I'm hoping I'll see more of this story.
Especially with homophobia theme (the drama!) though it's now with Shining Armor, I'll still be tracking to see how this all unfolds!
Good luck !
Definitely an interesting premise. Adding this to my tracking so I can read it when it's complete. :)
more please. good story <3
This feels a little fast paced but I'm very excited to see it continue.
That's interesting premise and I will certainly look forward to reading further chapters. 🙂 I have to agree with Stormwing Gale in that a pacing is a little fast and you could give various scenes a bit more screen-time, so to speak. Then again, it might be just a matter of personal preference. 😉
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Frankly, I chalk up the downvotes to just how politicized and weaponized the topic has become; especially in recent years when more and more series are getting into the heavy-handed virtue signalling and lecturing the fans about how bad and evil they are for liking what they like. Take the recent defeminization of women in media, where female characters are made to look big and burly to the point they're indistinguishable from the men they're presented as being superior to. We've been told that feminine forms are harmful to real women. We've even been told that slightly skimpy clothing promotes sexual violence against women.
Take for example the ongoing border crisis, and the open border advocates saying anyone who wants to come here should be allowed to do so freely. If this message were applied in an MLP story, we'd be seeing the changeling invasion presented from the perspective of the changelings being a victim species and Celestia and the other ponies being evil for trying to resist their efforts of taking over Canterlot.
Or worse we'd be seeing stories about tens of thousands of zebras coming into Equestria, making demands about how they want to be treated and respected without contributing anything, and lecturing the ponies every five minutes about how the current generation carries the blood guilt of their ancestors from over a thousand years ago and owe them reparations for life as payback. All presented from the perspective of Equestria being a hostile nation where Celestia is a specist warlord simply because her country is prosperous while theirs isn't.
I can't speak for anyone else, but frankly I'm so sick and tired of hearing the same hate-promoting messages spewed over and over again, from more and more series that used to be enjoyable. The stuff we read and watch are supposed to be for entertainment, not getting told about how we're evil incarnate even if we do embrace and accept the message we're being presented with. I don't want to spend the time necessary to read through a story that exists solely to deliver a particular political message, or where the author will interrupt the flow of the story to have a character go into lecture mode about a particular topic. And especially not when the political message they want to deliver doesn't even exist in the source material they're using as the inspiration for their story.
Homophobic gay Twi is the funniest character ever invented. She's so unaware it's almost impressive
And then she goes aware for a second and almost kills me with the feels. Congrats.
Aw, poor little Twily...
At least we know Bolero's not Chrysalis though
Surprised at the direction this took. I had assumed Twilight herself didn't have these feelings, and only just felt the same as her parents. However this adds to the drama, a nice addition to the story nonetheless. Also I highly doubt their parents would be allowed to the wedding, but I could be wrong.
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Amazing. Such a wall of text and none of it speaks of story itself. Is Charlie a spam bot by any chance? Because this feels like spam.
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Yeah, that's contest deadlines for ya. I'll admit, pacing isn't usually my friend when it comes to writing stories, but having a deadline to finish it all by doesn't help either 😅 I'll try to make the pacing more smooth in the next chapters, glad y'all still enjoyed the story!
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Yeah, sometimes I found myself laughing at the absurdity of what comes out her mouth, and other times I just feel sorry for her. This take of Twilight is very interesting to write though, for sure.
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Well if you want something more concise and more related to the story directly then I can do that.
Reading the summary of this story, the part that's supposed to drag the reader in and hold their interest long enough to get them reading the full work, I'm informed from the very beginning this is going to come off as being a lecture piece, and the author is going to be informing the readers how the holding of certain personal, particular ideologies is wrong.
If that's the vibe I'm getting just from the summary itself, why would I want to invest the time to read it through and see for myself if this is actually how the story will be proceeding?
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Do you have a list of texts like these that you just copy and paste whenever you find specific keywords? Because they both feel like one of those generic sales reach outs that one could find in their inbox. 😄
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In a previous life I wrote the programming and coding that went into making the computer programs that write those generic sales reach outs. I'm a very dull, uninteresting person outside of fantasy writing. I'm like Maud Pie but less exciting than her.
Long story short, this story earned a downvote from me not because of its contents, but because the summary rubbed me the wrong way and made me lose all interest. It's like the mental equivalent of nails on a chalkboard for me.
So Twilight is repressing feelings because she’s been taught they are “wrong” and is taking it out on her brother. Likely because she doesn’t have the courage to act out against her parents, even if it’s really her choice. The pacing is a bit all over the place, it would have worked better if it involved her trying to find Bolero as he works on preparing the wedding. Canterlot Castle is a pretty big place, it wouldn’t be too crazy that she needed to search for them… while wading through the wedding preparations.
I’m glad Shining had the courage to choose his own happiness over what his parents wanted. But I’m willing to bet they will try something before this story is over. I can definitely tell Twilight is the tip of the ice berg when it comes to family drama. Especially when old wounds between shining and his father is pulled up…
Poor, poor Twilight, hopefully she comes to terms with her own repressed gay in time for the wedding.
Age doesn't always mean wisdom, especially when you teach hate, fear, and suppression.
Please Twi, please understand...
Twilight seems to understand now that just because she thinks something is right, doesn't mean it is right to her friends, her brother, and even herself. Hopefully she pours her heart out about her own inner gay to Bolero, and he can work his love magic.
Repression is very hard to undue, I’m guessing her parents really hammered it into her skull. Not physically (hopefully), but it sounds like they did a lot of damage. I want to at least give them the benefit of the doubt that they thought they were helping, but that doesn’t really make it better. Twilights behaviors remind me of a “Ex-Gay” ministry camp survivor, it even could explain her manic episodes.
I thought Cadence's male version was called Cupid. ...Or was it Eros? I forget.
She's not a pony pony (whatever you call a people person as a pony). I don't she pays attention to that.
I'm not convinced they don't have magical gay/lesbian spawns to solve that.
Probably the one time I can say Twilight deserved everyone walking out on her.
She probably doesn’t realize it, but she just insulted basically everyone there. Must be a real punch in the face for the homophob when she realizes all her friends are also gay. As well as her mentor possibly, too.
Just to be clear, I love this story and my anger isn’t directed at you or your writing style.
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For some reason I’m imaging Celestia is more Bi, which would make it easier for Twilights parents to rationalize it all. But obviously I can’t be sure until the author tells us one way or another. This vaguely reminds me of another “Canterlot Wedding” fanfic where it turned out Bug horse actually loved Shining and Cadence had the hots for Twilight. It was more comical, but there definitely was some homophobia with Twilight.
That went about as bad as it could've gone, and pretty much exactly as expected
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I might touch upon that subject in a sequel...
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I'm sure there's other names people come up with, but Prince Bolero seems to be the common one. It's the one Some Leech used in one of his fics anyway.
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Oh no worries, I assumed as much
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Yeah, I can see Celestia being bi. That's how I'd see her in this story.
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Chapter 3 summarized in one sentence 😂
Great chapter, I do hope we see more of the words said to twilight by her parents to make her feel THAT much internalized homophobia.
That's fair. Perhaps after the contest you could make a sequel that would focus on solving Twilight's issues and repairing her relationship with everybody that isn't her parents? Then you would have more time to tackle those plot points at your leisure. :)
EDIT: I've just seen one of your comments from previous chapter and now I know you are thinking of/planning the sequel, so I guess we will see more of Twilight's backstory? ^^
I think this is a great chapter! Poor little Twiiiiiii!! She and the happy couple both need a happy ending now
There is no need to worry, you are doing amazingly. *hug*
Wonderful ending! Can't wait to see more!!!
Hey! I thoroughly enjoyed this. The pacing did feel slightly rushed at times, but that was due to time constraints.
It might be just me, but this feels more like a story about Twilight coming to terms with the fact she likes mares with a M/M ship as the catalyst for that rather than being centered around a M/M ship. Shining Armor and Prince Bolero almost felt like side characters. That's not to say it wasn't a great story! I just know it's entered in the M/M contest and wanted to point that opinion out. (Oh, boy, am I going to get downvoted for that...)
I loved Twilight obliviously crushing on her friends, and kind of want them to all date each other. 😆 Love that Celestia's bi! (Kind of hoping she does something to Twilight's parents...)
Thanks for a good read, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future!
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Yeah, I realized that three chapters in, which is why I implemented a lot more scenes with them in the last two chapters. That way, the judges actually had chemistry to rate the story on.
I was almost expecting the parents to show up and cause trouble only for Twilight to tell them off. Maybe in the sequel, IDK
Howdy, hi!
You have been successfully entered into the MxM contest! Thank you very much for your participation and we look forward to reading!
This was an interesting read.
I really hope that there will be a sequel to this involving Night Light and Twilight Velvet being confronted by Twilight, Shining Armor, and Prince Bolero (and maybe Princesses Celestia and Luna) about all the abuse they put Twilight through. And maybe put on trial for it. In addition, their could be a sequel finding out what became of Flashy, the filly Twilight had loving feeling for.
i do like the start of this concept, taking the canon events with a little twist
ah classic! and i can just hear that great Rarity snapping
and i do love the irony of this!
aww, bless Fluttershy so much for trying!
very wise of Applejack here. it's hard to logic someone out of something they didn't logic themselves into.
hey, this isn't an F/F contest! (not that i don't appreciate this bit lol)
yes, and i'm sure they're roommates as well, Twilight
oof! makes sense it wouldn't be Twilight just deciding to be homophobic by herself. this has to be taught, which means Shining has more than his sister to contend with.
this does track with how homophobia can take root in a place that's otherwise as nice and utopic as Equestria. pity and disapproval is less frightening to face than disgust and hate, but lets those that have it convince themselves they're being understanding and compassionate instead of awful. you did a great job here with this.
isn't it weird how many straight parents think it's fine and normal to ship their prepubescent children? like wow, this is a really weird thing to do! he's her babysitter!
i am loving this! ah, self-denial.
haha, had a feeling it was going to be a misunderstanding like this!
oop
aww, that is a lot of hoping on Shining's part. but then again, it fits in with how oblivious the canon Shining acted.
the same line but now with a very different context. very fun, that
and the irony here is great!
oof, now you are really making me feel for Twilight. i could definitely see a version of myself in her place here, sadly.
ah, that does explain one thing i was wondering about!
again, love the irony here! and that structurally, Twilight still fits into her role at this point in the arc, very fun.
yes, thank you! i mean this is an obvious thing to take into account, but by doing this you are better than how the actual canon show writers were for The Break Up Break Down hahaha
can definitely imagine this scene
aww! that Pinkie wisdom, very nice. also a fun coïncidence with her being pink as well (unless you planned this???)
aww, poor Shining, having to make do with Celestia's sister instead of his own
it means a lot to me too, now! aww my heart
yes, love this, also: canon.
oof, but good on Shining for standing by his stallion here. hope it gets through to Twilight
always neat to see Cadance/Bolero's love powers explored like this, instead of the weird nonconsensual love zapping we got in canon
i would too, that is quite a revelation! and ties into the theme i mentioned just now about magic used to edit minds
such parents really are precious, and sadly very rare when i was growing up. i am so glad there are more and more of them these days, but there's still a long way to go.
aww! Bolero is the kind of patient, loving, and giving that befits his title, and thank Celestia for that
and it's so nice for Twilight to finally see this!
that is a tough mental thing to get over. i don't begrudge Twilight for feeling conflicted about that.
haha, now that is a turnaround!
what did Rarity mean by this
oof oof oof at all of that. my heart breaks for poor young Twilight
oof oof oof. i would be so angry in Shining's place
that is very frightening to think about, ugh
really glad you made it!