• Member Since 22nd Nov, 2018
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Star Shimmering


"You can make anything by writing." --C.S. Lewis. Hope to entertain you all. Let’s all have fun and read together, yea?

T

Anon heads down to a pet store in search of a new companion as a pet. As he walked by all the dog kennels he spot something in the corner of his eye and was left shocked to find that it was no dog. But a live Unicorn mare. Where she come from is unkown—but how she got here in his gloomy world remains a mystery. Will he be able to keep her existence hidden? And how will the bond work between him and this unknown beauty?

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 16 )

A tough read I won’t lie but it mainly stems from very fixable issues. With a little proofreading to make sure sentences roll off the tongue nice and some cutting down on run on sentences you can make this an easy and nice read. I won’t go beyond suggesting those specific changes as I feel anything more would be interfering with your own creative writing style. Everybody thinks and writes differently so it’s awesome to read a story that feels unique in wordplay like your own. I hope your story receives positive feedback in the comments and drowns out my complaints ;)

I going to guess this is a repost, but I'm curious about what happened to the original?

I found it very enjoyable thus far, seeing cute little cuddle monsters like Starlight is great

10985097

That shall be explained in the near future. :twilightsheepish:

Aww, this is gonna be a sweet one I can tell.

JDH

Morning had arrived for everyone in Town

Unless Town is actually the name of the town, it shouldn’t be capitalized

Yes, a husky would be enough.

I know my dogs you do NOT want a husky as your first dog

Will Starlight be the only pony pet in this story?

Hm...I wonder how she got there.

Is this gonna be one of those stories where the pony can't talk or communicate at all for one reason or another?

10996448

It wouldn’t be a mystery if such a question is answered; you’ll have to wait and see in the next few chapters. :ajsmug::raritywink:

10996457
I get it, it's just when they cannot communicate properly in some stories, it's just too weird for me. Borders waaaay too close on bestiality for me since there is a very fine line separating them from common animals if they are unable to communicate verbally, or even written words.

nice work on all chapters out:twilightsmile:

Morning PM instead of Morning AM

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